For Every Season (13 page)

“Ya?” She paused.

He wanted to thank her for sticking by him, for sacrificially bartering with Jacob, for fighting to keep their friendship. He wanted to thank her for making him believe in himself and Kings’ Orchard Maine again. But those thoughts also made him want to challenge her to take another look at who they could be together.

“You mentioned possibly hiring a hundred single girls. I think I like that idea.”

She glanced his way, looking as if he were full of nonsense.

“What?” He shrugged. “Can’t you work on that right away?”

She chuckled.

Samuel smiled. They were in about as good a place friendshipwise as they could be.

Now if his affection for her would fade into nothingness, he could return to being the man he once was—focused on the practical side of life and making this settlement a success.

TEN

Jacob clutched the wheel. He needed to be alone with Sandra to talk about the lies she’d spent years telling him. Leaving the farm would help some, but what he had to say shouldn’t be said in front of Casey either.

“Ache-up.” Casey sang his name. “Did you miss me?”

Jacob looked in the rearview mirror at the little raven-headed angel. He’d gotten her out of the car for a few minutes, hugging her and gazing into her eyes while she clapped her hands and laughed. Then he’d buckled her in again and climbed behind the wheel. She was so excited to see him. Right now, she had only the best parts of her mother. Jacob hoped to be there for her, keeping Sandra buoyed enough to cope with her bipolar disorder in a way that was healthy for Casey.

Neither of Sandra’s parents had been even a half-decent person. By the time she was a teen, her dad had kicked her out of the house. Jacob didn’t doubt Sandra was a handful even then, but her parents hadn’t realized she needed help and support, not a boot in the backside. He doubted they were the kind of people who could’ve helped her even if they’d known. Could dysfunctional alcoholics see anything beyond their own stupor?

He reached across the seat and touched Casey’s cheek. “I missed you every minute of every day.” It was their pat answer, a game of sorts. His desire to see that she made it to adulthood safely was strong, but it had to come second to getting his life straight with the law. Rhoda needed that from him, and he wouldn’t let her down.

She’d only grown close to Samuel because he had been absent. He’d only been absent because of the mistakes he’d made years ago and because Sandra
had lied to him. Right before returning to the farm, Jacob had met with a lawyer, Craig Ryer. Jacob had taken what little bit of paperwork he had to back up his story, and he’d told Craig every stinking bit of the whole mess.

It had been embarrassing, but Craig had listened without flinching. He took notes, did some research, had his assistant make some calls, and then explained his theory—that Jacob wasn’t as legally culpable as he’d thought. And Craig said he’d stake his reputation on the fact that Sandra had been lying to him.

When Jacob had returned his lawyer’s call a couple of days ago, Craig had said there was a civil suit in Virginia about the deck collapse, but it hadn’t gone to court yet because of numerous delays. Skeet Jones, the owner of the construction company Jacob had worked for, had already gone to trial. He’d been found guilty and sentenced, but Jones was appealing the verdict.

Craig had said the district attorney would likely give Jacob immunity in exchange for his testimony. He was going to check into that and let Jacob know. Craig also volunteered to find him a lawyer in Virginia who could represent him. Jacob wasn’t seen as negligent for his part in the collapsed decks, but Craig added, “If I were you, I’d want to know why Sandra’s been lying all this time because, depending on her answer, you could be aiding and abetting a criminal.”

Jacob shook his head.
Who could ever know if she’s telling the truth?

The lawyer had said, “With what I now understand of this case, if I could question her directly, I think I could get to the bottom of it. I’d at least have a good hunch concerning her involvement.”

Jacob pulled his thoughts back to the present, turning on an iPod that was attached to the car radio. Winnie-the-Pooh songs filled the car. He didn’t need to ask Sandra why she’d come to the farm or what she wanted from him. He knew her answer. After adjusting the speakers so the sound was fully in the back, he turned to Sandra. “How could you lie to me all this time?”

“What exactly did that lawyer say?”

“That you’ve been lying to me. He thinks if everything went wrong that
could go wrong concerning the legal and civil cases involved, I’d get a year of probation at the most. But he’s aiming to get me immunity in exchange for my testimony.”

“He’s wrong.”

“So this is how it’s going to play out? I’m loyal to you for years, support you financially, and you’re going to continue to lie to me?”

“This is Blaine’s fault. He’s the one who lied to you.”

Jacob knew that was true, but Sandra could have set the record straight before Jacob left the Englisch, convinced he had to return to his people to hide from the law.

“Baine bad. Hate him. Kick. Kick. Kick.” Casey smiled, swinging her foot in the air.

Jacob sighed. “You shouldn’t tell her those things. There’s no reason for her to say she hates him.”

“She doesn’t know Baine, as she calls him, is her d-a-d.”

“You’ll have to tell her one day, and your hatred of her father will taint every good memory she’ll have of your love. Is that what you want for her?”

“Your Amish roots are showing, Jacob. Children everywhere are able to separate what their parents feel for them from what the parents feel toward each other.” She shook her head. “Besides, I’m careful. I was talking to her sitter, and Casey overheard me. She only says
kick
because she thinks that is the most horrible thing one person can do to another.” She slouched against the car seat. “Boy, does she have a lot to learn.”

Jacob glanced at Sandra.

She huffed. “I know. I get it. A parent’s job is to protect a child’s innocence for as long as possible.” She shrugged. “I’ll do better. I just need you in my life to be the best me I can be.”

Jacob knew that. He’d known it since before she conceived Casey, and he’d seen to it she went to every doctor’s visit throughout her pregnancy. He was never sure why it meant so much to him. But beneath his disdain for Sandra were certain things he admired about her. With all she’d been through, it amazed him she was sane and still standing. But she was more than that. Her
priority was Casey, and he was awed by Sandra’s dedication, even if they didn’t share the same parenting values.

Sandra had adored Blaine—until he betrayed her and left her to pay for his misdeeds. Jacob would have sworn that Blaine loved her, but he hadn’t taken into account that Blaine was addicted to gambling.

“You convinced me that Blaine set me up to take the fall for his crimes.”

“If you hadn’t thought that, you would’ve gone straight to the law.” She cut a look at him. “Right before you left me and Casey behind forever.”

“I wouldn’t have abandoned you.”

She stared out the window. “You already did. I had to come to you.”

“Look at what your lies have done! I needed time, but I was going to call you. And years ago you threw
me
out. But I kept calling and sending money.

You’ve got no right to whine about how I’ve handled the last few weeks. You’ve spent years turning my life upside down, Sandra.”

“How? In what way is your life worse off because of a few lies? You returned home and were invisible to the law. You healed. You met Rhoda. And now you’ll live happily ever after.”

He didn’t know if she really believed her lies had done good things or if she was just saying it to feel better. “I want you to talk to my lawyer.”

“No way!”

He glanced in the rearview mirror.

Casey stopped playing with her hands. “What’s wrong, Mama?”

“Nothing.” She rolled her eyes. “Just your Ache-up wanting me to walk into a lion’s den.”

“He gives legal advice. He won’t do anything I don’t want him to.”

“That
you
don’t want him to?”

Jacob drew a slow breath at the suspicion in her tone. “I’ve earned more of your trust than that.”

She studied him, and he knew a war was raging inside her.

He wouldn’t push for an immediate answer. It was best to let her volunteer it.

She tapped her fingers against the door handle. “It’s hard to trust someone
who leaves, either physically or by giving the silent treatment, when he learns something upsetting.”

If Jacob could change one thing about himself, he’d stand firm when trouble struck and deal with the bitter disappointment right then—not weeks, months, or years later. “Harder than forgiving someone who lies for years to get her way?”

“Maybe.”

The woman beside him was as hardened as they came and yet as fragile as Casey. At least she had come to the house rather than give up on him.

He pulled into a parking spot near a café advertising pizza and sandwiches. “Hungry?”

Sandra’s dark eyes pierced him. “If I see this lawyer of yours, after you hear what I have to say, you’ll want to walk away and never come back.”

“I’ve felt that way plenty of times since this whole mess began years ago. And rightly so. And yet here I am.” He turned off the car. “But I have to know the truth from here on out, and that begins with you going with me to see my lawyer.”

“He won’t believe me.”

It seemed a bit strange she wasn’t focusing on whether it was a setup to send her to jail.

She stared, blank faced. “You’ll side with him.”

“Probably, but then we’ll figure out the next step together.”

“Maybe you want me to go to jail or be killed. Then you can look after Casey the easy way.”

“I don’t mean to be blunt, but are you taking your medication regularly?”

She glared at him, looking as insulted as she was angry, but then she nodded. “Yes.”

“Have I ever asked you to give up Casey?”

“I do love her, you know.”

“I know that, and she needs you. No one can take your place. No one.”

She kept her eyes focused outside her window. “I think I do pretty good staying strong and steady for her, as you call it, with you only coming in and out as needed.”

“Absolutely.”

“A counselor once said the best way to stay strong is to understand yourself and your limitations.” She licked her lips, seeming to struggle a bit with what she needed to say. “I know this about me: I can’t stay determined to manage my bipolar issues unless you’re there for me and Casey.”

Her statement was actually a question. He ran his hand over the steering wheel, knowing he had to say the answer he could live with, not the one he’d like to give. There had to be ways to be there for Sandra while building a life with Rhoda. Otherwise, Casey would pay for his negligence. Why was Casey so important to him? “I won’t abandon you.”

She sobbed a quick wail of relief before taking a deep breath and regaining control. “Okay. I’ll go.”

He got out of the car and opened the back passenger door.

“Ache-up!” Casey clapped her hands and waved her arms for him to unbuckle her.

“Hi again, Casey.” He got her out. “We’re going to have to find that missing
J
for Jacob again, aren’t we?” He had worked with her before, and she could do it. She could do a lot of things with a little effort poured into her.

She stared at him with a haunting look—one that made him absolutely positive she had worlds to conquer as an adult, worlds that would help others in ways he couldn’t wrap his mind around. But it could only happen if someone made sure she got there in one piece. She hugged his neck, squeezing him with all her tiny power.

Jacob held her tight.

Sandra came around to the side of the car. “I’m really sorry, Jacob. You deserved better than what you got.”

He closed the passenger door. “You did too.”

She said nothing, but she had to know what he meant. Someone should have gotten help for her when she was a teen, not sent her packing. Someone should have loved her the way the two of them loved Casey.

“How about some food?”

Wiping at a tear, she went ahead of him and held open the door. “You’re the best.”

Her words hadn’t come easily. He knew that. “Just remember thinking that when it’s time to face the lawyer, okay?”

He hoped the man could get him immunity. If he could, Jacob would finally be free. If he couldn’t, Jacob would have to continue to hide as much as possible.

ELEVEN

Leah opened Erlene’s dryer and began removing another load of clothes. She glanced at Landon. “How is it that when I do laundry for your grandmother, I end up washing more of your clothes than hers?”

Landon opened the washing machine. “Just lucky, I guess.”

She carried the dry clothes into the living room and dropped them onto the couch. More than a week had passed since Iva’s arrival, and she seemed to be working out pretty well. Thank goodness. Other than Samuel telling Leah she could never make a decision like that on her own again, no one else had complained. She imagined that when Jacob and Sandra met with the lawyer next week, Samuel and Rhoda would get a feel for whether Iva was any real help or not. If she couldn’t help take up for the slack caused by Jacob’s absence, they’d know it pretty quickly.

Landon came into the room. “After the next load dries, we’re done.”

“Only with laundry. We’re supposed to make a plate of cookies to take to Unity Hill tomorrow night.”

“We? You’re the one who added your name when they passed around the volunteer sign-up sheet.”

She smacked him with a shirt. “It’s a church event, and
you’re
helping.” She folded the shirt. “You go through too many clothes in a week. How do you manage to mess up four shirts a day?”

“Uh, messy eater?”

Erlene walked into the room with some hangers. “Because anything he’s tried on ends up on the floor.”

Leah’s face froze. “Tried on? Is it that hard to decide what to wear when you’re coming to work?”