For His Keeping (For His Pleasure, Book 3) (13 page)

“I can see that,” Jeb said. Then, gathering himself, he went on. “You know, that’s not the only reason I came to see you.”

“Oh?” Red asked, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

“Mom spoke to me about what happened during her visit.”

“Of course she did,” Red said, with no emotion in his voice.

Jeb sighed. “I hate being in the middle like this.”

“Then don’t put yourself there.” Red wiped his mouth with a napkin, crumpled it and threw it on the table.

Nicole put a hand on his leg and squeezed reassuringly. In her mind, she was urging him to calm down.

“I have no choice,” Jeb said. “I can’t let you and mom fight this way.”

“Can’t let us? Who made you the arbiter of peace around here?” Red asked him.

“I resent you coming to my house with a hidden agenda.”

“Come on,” Jeb said, laughing.

“It’s not funny.”

“I didn’t hide my agenda. I wanted to make sure you were okay. That was my first priority.”

“Well you did that. You found out I’m okay—actually better than okay.”

“Are you sure about that?” Jeb asked.

“Yeah, I am.”

Jeb shrugged. “And I also wanted to make sure you weren’t going too hard on Mom.”

Red folded his arms. “She’s obviously roped you in with her distortions about what happened. I’ve seen and heard this all before. Now she’s sent you here as her surrogate to try and guilt trip me—”

“She didn’t ask me to come. I wanted to come.”

“Bullshit,” Red snarled. “You’re being her errand boy, doing her bidding—like you always have.”

Now it was Jeb’s turn to take offense. “Errand boy? I’m a doctor with my own practice, my own life, and my own opinions.”

“That’s why you let her dictate your romantic interests,” Red told him.

“She does not dictate my romantic interests. And I resent the implication.”

“What did she tell you?” Red asked. “What new lies did she spout this time?”

Jeb shook his head. “She just said that the two of you had fought horribly, that you kicked her out of the house. She was crying, she felt awful…”

“Bullshit,” Red scoffed. “She didn’t feel awful, she’s a master manipulator.”

“It’s easy for you to see her that way,” Jeb told him.

“And it’s easier for you to wear blinders,” Red replied. “What kind of mother gives her son an ultimatum in order to force him to break up with a girl he’s in love with?”

Jeb’s hands clenched and his jaw twitched, much the way Red’s did when he was angry. “You’re talking about something that happened years ago. Why would you bring that up now?”

“It’s totally pertinent to this conversation,” Red said, pointing a finger at his brother. “She did something completely unconscionable to you, and you allowed her to get away with it. You still make excuses for her behavior.”

“I’m not making excuses. She’s our mother. And whatever else she is—she deserves a little goddamn respect.”

Red stood up, pushing his chair back forcefully and planting his hands firmly on the tabletop. His expression was thunderous. “You’re lucky you’re my younger brother, Jeb. Or so help me god, I would beat you like a redheaded stepchild for talking this shit in my house. I don’t want to discuss that woman—I don’t want to hear her words coming out of your mouth like some fucking ventriloquist’s dummy. I’m finished. Got it?”

“Loud and clear.” Jeb stood up and looked at Nicole. “Thank you so much for dinner. I’ll be in my room the rest of the evening and on the first flight out tomorrow morning. Unless you’d rather I went to a hotel instead?”

Red folded his arms and refused to look at him. “I don’t give a shit what you do,”

he muttered.

Nicole wanted to somehow make peace, but hadn’t a clue what to say. Jeb left the veranda and she turned back to Red. “I’m so sorry that happened.”

“Yeah. Me too.” He was staring out into the darkness now, with that same distant and guarded look on his face. She knew he was unreachable in this state.

Instead of trying to talk to him, Nicole decided to just let him be. She cleared off the table and brought everything to the sink, did the dishes. Eventually he left the veranda and went upstairs, probably to his study.

Nicole had a bit of a sick feeling in her stomach again. She told herself that this was a difficult time in Red’s life and as his fiancé she had to be willing to go through it with him.

But she still felt bad for his brother.

Jeb hadn’t meant to do anything wrong—he simply had a totally different view on the situation.

When she was done putting the dishes in the dishwasher and cleaning off the table in the veranda, wiping down the counter tops, Nicole was fairly tired. She wanted to go up and check on Red, make sure he was holding up okay.

And then she saw Jeb standing in the hallway entrance, watching her. She let out a startled noise, put a hand to her chest. “Sorry, you surprised me,” she laughed.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Jeb said, coming further into the kitchen. “I didn’t want to cause a scene here.”

“It’s okay,” she told him. “I get it. I know how it can be with siblings.”

“You have a sister or brother?”

She laughed. “Actually, no. I don’t. But I can imagine.”

Now he laughed as well, and when their eyes met, she sensed again that he was a kind person. “Ours is a complex family,” he told her. In that statement, she sensed, was much more than met the eye.

Nicole nodded, her eyes downcast. “Red is emotional lately. I don’t think he meant to be so hard on you.”

“No?” Jeb laughed, a brittle, harsh sound.

“I think that your mother is a sensitive topic for him right now. You weren’t here when she visited, but I can assure you it was pretty awful.”

“I’m sure it was,” Jeb told her. “But you don’t see the other side of it. Red is such a loose cannon. His temper is out of control and he makes it so that people walk on eggshells around him. My mother’s not the eggshell type.”

“Certainly not,” Nicole agreed, remembering the comments Erica had made and how she’d found the older woman sneaking around their master bedroom.

“Look,” Jeb said, leaning against the counter. “I’m not saying my mother is the easiest person to get along with. She’s very difficult. She’s had a tough life and she did the best she could under hard circumstances. But she loves her kids. She loves my brother dearly, and it’s killing her the way the visit ended.”

Nicole sighed. As much as she didn’t like Erica Jameson, she also hated to think that her engagement to Red might have been a contributing factor to a son not speaking to his mother. “I’m sure it will blow over in time,” she said. “People just need a little distance to come at it from a new perspective.”

“Red’s not known for changing his mind once it’s made up.”

“I think he’s got more compromise in him than you might give him credit for,”

Nicole replied.

“Well, it’s obvious he’s got a great woman by his side. That makes me feel a little better.”

“Thanks.”

He rapped the counter with his knuckles. “I’m tired, I think I’m going to turn in.

But maybe you could talk to Red at some point and remind him that there are people who care about him—people that have the same blood that run through his veins—and that those people miss him dearly.”

Nicole nodded uncertainly. She realized that she’d just been tasked yet again with trying to make Red reconsider a decision he’d made. And once again, she’d engaged in a conversation with someone whom Red was feuding with, and whom he probably didn’t want to hear much about.

Jeb disappeared back to his guest room and Nicole slowly made her way upstairs to the master bedroom.

Red was in bed reading a book when she entered.

He looked up from it and forced a smile. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey.” She sat down on the edge of her side of the bed.

“I’m sorry I made a scene. That wasn’t right,” he said softly.

“I know you were in a tough position trying to defend your choices to your brother.”

“The guy is just blind when it comes to my mother. He won’t admit that she’s completely psychotic and destructive.”

Nicole turned and looked at him. “Are you going to at least talk to him before he leaves tomorrow?”

Red shook his head and picked his book up again. “I don’t know. Right now I definitely can’t do it.”

Nicole was torn. Now she was questioning what his reaction would be when she told him about her and Jeb’s conversation. But she didn’t want to make the same mistake as she had in Germany, when she’d kept her conversation with Kane Wright to herself.

“After you came upstairs, your brother came back to the kitchen and apologized to me,” she said, finally.

Red glanced sideways at her. “He did?”

“Yeah.” She looked at him, her hands clutching each other nervously. “Please don’t be angry with me.”

Red took a long, slow breath. “What did you say to him?”

“Just that I understood it was hard.”

Red’s expression darkened. “What does that mean?”

“Come on, Red. What am I supposed to do, tell your brother to fuck off when he apologizes to me?”

“I never said that.” He put the book aside and looked her straight in the eye. “At the same time, it feels like no matter what I do, you’re always second guessing me. I trust you, I listen to you—and the next thing I know you spin me in circles.”

“How do I spin you in circles, Red?”

“In Germany, you told me to make a deal, then you told me not to, and then on the flight home you said maybe I should make the deal again. And now you’re telling me to go make up with Jeb. Tomorrow you’ll probably tell me that Jeb’s an asshole and I should never speak to him again.”

“Come on. That’s not fair to me. What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, Nicole. Why don’t you tell me what else you and Jeb talked about behind my back?”

“I knew you’d do this,” she whispered. “I knew it.”

“What did you know?” he demanded.

She looked at his red face, his bulging eyes. She was so tired of defending herself against whatever new mistake she’d made. “I can’t do this right now.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I just can’t. Please stop talking.”

Red stared at her. “Nicole, are you breaking up with me?”

“I need some time. Just…just leave me alone.” She got up and ran out of the bedroom and downstairs. She wanted to leave, but it was late and she didn’t want to make a bigger deal of things than she already had.

Instead she went to one of the guest rooms at the far end of the house, and lay in the cold, uninviting bed. She turned on her phone and saw she had missed calls—a bunch of them. A couple of calls were from her parents and one or two calls from Danielle.

Nicole knew she couldn’t tell her mom and dad any of this, they would just tell her that Red was a terrible person and how she needed to get away from him.

She dialed Danielle, waiting for her friend to pick up.

“Look who it is,” Danielle piped at the other end of the line. “I thought you’d forgotten all about me.”

Nicole smiled at the sound of a friendly voice. “Sorry about that. I know I’ve been a shitty friend.”

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay Nicole?”

“Yeah. Sort of.”

“Tell me what’s going on. Tell me right now.”

So Nicole did. She told her about Red’s mother, his business problems and their argument in Germany, and then how things had gone when they came back to the mansion in Connecticut. “I feel like such a drama queen,” she said. “I know I sound totally nuts.”

“Just a little nuts,” Danielle admitted. “Look, we’ve all been there. It’s hard when you really care about someone and the relationship is tumultuous. It’s difficult to know whether you can get past it or if you’re just wrong for each other.”

“The thing is, mostly it feels so right,” Nicole whispered. “I mean, he’s really sweet and loving and I know he cares about me. I feel like he’d do absolutely anything for me.”

“Okay, that’s awesome,” Danielle said.

“But then he has these moods. You know, with his mother being such a miserable person, I think he has a lot of issues. On top of that, his business is falling apart and it’s really stressful for him. I know he’s trying, though. I see how hard he’s trying.”

“Do you love him?”

Nicole didn’t even need to think about it. “Yes, I love him completely.”

“And you believe he loves you?”

“I know he loves me.”

“Well, then,” Danielle told her. “I think if you’re both in love then you kind of owe it to the relationship to try and figure it out. Obviously you need to come up with better strategies, ways to resolve conflict.”

Nicole nodded. She’d gotten teary again. “It’s just hard. He takes it out on me sometimes, getting mad at me for doing the wrong thing. I’m just doing the best I can.”

“Well, that’s not okay. He shouldn’t make you feel bad for being yourself. You aren’t being malicious toward him and he needs to handle his own issues.”

“Yeah.” Nicole nodded. She already felt lighter. “Thanks, Danielle. You’re a good friend, you know that?”

“Actually, yes. I do know it.”

“Hey, how are you doing?”

“Can’t complain.”

“No seriously. Tell me what’s been going on with you. I’m sick and tired of dwelling on my own stupid problems,” Nicole laughed.

Danielle laughed too. And then she told her about the guy she’d met last week who’d turned out to be a total jerk. He’d taken her out to a nice dinner and paid for it and pretty much assumed that meant he was at least entitled to a blowjob.

Nicole just thanked her lucky stars that Red wasn’t one of those guys.

Danielle said that it had been hard living in their apartment by herself, and feeling more alone, feeling the lack of a companion in her life.

“I’m going to come back and spend more time with you,” Nicole said. “We’re going to hang out more, I promise.”

“It’s okay,” Danielle said. “I’m doing fine, seriously.”

“I know you’re fine, but I think it would be fun to have a girl’s night—get manicures, get our hair done. Maybe eat ice cream later on and watch bad TV.”

“Sure,” her old roommate laughed.

“Hey, thanks again for listening and for giving such great advice.”