For His Pleasure: The Boxed Set, Books 1-6 (For His Pleasure, For His Taking, For His Keeping, For His Honor, For His Trust, For His Forever) (54 page)

“I never said anything to the contrary.”

Nicole took a deep breath. “It’s fine. Everything’s fine.”

“I’m being supportive of you and Red. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yes, and it means a lot to me.”

“Well, I just don’t see why everyone is so doom and gloom around here. It’s not healthy.”

“Nobody’s doom and gloom. We just need a little time.”

“Well you’ve got only so much time. I thought you were planning a wedding.”

“I was, and I will be again. When I feel up to it.”

“Maybe it’s not always the best thing to have so much time and money that you can afford to be depressed. I couldn’t afford to be depressed.”

Red clapped his hands. “What say I have Chef Roland wrangle us up something to eat, huh?”

Nicole’s mother nodded unhappily and Nicole took a deep breath. She didn’t know if she’d ever make it through her mother’s visit. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and close her eyes—make everything go away.

But she pushed through the way her mother would have wanted her to.

Chef Roland was at the ready, and he came to the kitchen and cooked them a wonderful lunch of lemon chicken over linguine. Nicole mostly picked at her food, but Red and Barb ate every last bite of theirs.

Despite her protests to the contrary, Barb seemed to love being waited on and catered to, as if it were her secret birthright to have been a queen or a member of the aristocracy. By the end of the day she was drinking wine and talking about art and laughing at every word that came out of Red’s mouth.

And then night fell and she said she was going to drive home, even though it would be a long drive back. “I want to go to sleep in my own bed,” she told them.

Red made her a huge mug of coffee, extra strong, and she took it with her. She hugged Nicole once before leaving—a strong, vice like grip that revealed she still had plenty of strength left, however much she might have aged. “I love you so much,” she whispered into Nicole’s ear.

“I love you too, Mom. Thanks for coming.”

“Bye, darling.” She waved at Red and then she was gone.

“Thank God that’s over with,” Red said, as he closed the door and walked with Nicole towards the stairs to the master bedroom.

“You finally won her over,” Nicole said. “I didn’t think it was possible.”

“I don’t think I won her over. I think she decided she was going to prove that she could like me.”

Nicole smiled. “Yeah, that’s probably true.”

Red put a hand on her lower back. “Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“I love you, Nicole. And I’m sad too. Not a second goes by that I don’t think of the baby. But she is loved. Isn’t that all anyone wants, at the end of the day—to be loved and remembered?”

“I guess.” Nicole felt the tears in her eyes yet again. “I just wish we’d had a little bit of time with her. I can still feel her, you know?” She pressed a hand to her heart. “I can feel her little soul calling out to me. She wanted to be hugged and held and sang to, and we never got a chance.”

Red’s eyes were wet now. “I know. I know.”

They went upstairs together and climbed into bed, and Red held her in his arms. He was stronger than ever, she realized. He held her close and she smelled his scent, she felt his breath against her hair and her cheek. She was taken care of.

It wasn’t what she wanted right now. Right now, what she wanted was her baby.

But it was enough. It had to be enough.

***

Nicole woke up very early the next morning.

It was just after five a.m. and the idea hit her like a thunderbolt. It was so simple, so perfect. It had to be right.

She put a hand on Red’s shoulder and shook him slightly.

He opened his eyes and lifted his head. “Huh? What is it---are you okay?”

“Yes. I just woke up and I had to tell you something.”

“Okay, I’m listening.” He wiped the sleep from his eyes.

“I want to elope.”

Red turned to face her in the semi-darkness. “You want to elope? Why?”

“I just woke up and it was the first thing I thought. It feels right. I don’t want to worry about guest lists and tablecloths and what food to serve and the venue and sending out the perfect invitations. I just want to be with you.”

He blinked at her. “Are you sure? Because you always said—“

“I know what I said,” she interrupted. “But everything’s different now.”

“Because of the baby?”

“I don’t know. Yes. I suppose so.”

“I think we just need some more time before we make any decisions. You’re in a certain frame of mind right now,” he said tiredly.

“This isn’t just a frame of mind. I want to elope, Red.”

“Of course I’ll do whatever you want. But honestly? I don’t think that’s what you really want, Nicole.”

Now she felt angry with him. She sat up in bed and folded her arms. “What do you mean, it’s not what I really want? You think you know what I want better than I do?”

Red sighed. “No, Nicole. I don’t.”

“Don’t take that tone with me.”

“What tone?”

“Like I’m crazy.”

“Nicole, it’s five a.m. You woke me out of a deep sleep to tell me you want to completely change our wedding plans because of some random thought that popped into your head.”

“It wasn’t some random thought.” She glared at him. “I don’t care about all those other people, Red. I care about me and you.”

Suddenly, he reached across the bed and grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. “And what do you think I care about?”

His touch, even now in her depressed state, still brought heat to her entire body.

She looked into his dark eyes. His curly hair fell across his forehead in that way that she found totally sexy.

But now there was something else, too. She felt angry, she felt wild—she felt unpredictable. In the past, whenever they’d had sex, it was always because of Red that Nicole engaged in the kind of ritualistic game playing that he so enjoyed. Yes, she liked it too, but mostly because of what it did for him.

For the first time, though, Nicole wanted to do it as much or more for herself as she did for Red.

“I don’t know what you care about,” she said. “Maybe you need to show me.”

She looked at him and he looked back at her. In the early morning gloom, she could see the whites of his eyes and the black pits of his pupils and he almost had the look of a wolf about him.

“Don’t ask if you aren’t ready to receive.”

“Who says I’m not ready?”

“Either way,” he growled. “You know what this means.”

“I’m not a total idiot,” Nicole replied, writhing in his grasp. He gripped her arm more tightly.

“You’re being very bad right now,” he rasped.

“So? Who’s going to punish me?”

“Keep talking and it will be worse.”

“Maybe I want it to be worse.”

He turned her onto her stomach, so she was lying in his lap across the bed. He was hard, so she knew she’d excited him. Nicole was wearing nothing but her bra and panties, and she wiggled her ass at him, knowing what was coming.

He slapped her butt. There was a slight sting, but nothing near what she wanted to feel right now. “More,” she demanded.

“Well all right then,” he said. His hand came down harder on her ass. He spanked her butt again and again.

“I need to be bare,” she said. “My bare ass needs a spanking.”

Red exhaled heavily. Suddenly he’d ripped the panties right off her, ripped them clean in half like they were some kind of special break away Velcro panties. “Okay,” he said. “So now your ass is bare.”

“Yeah, that’s more like it.” She wiggled it at him again. “Now spank me like you mean it.”

He started to spank her ass, moving from one cheek to the other, paddling her flesh with real vigor. It stung and there was the requisite heat. She was getting wet. Her pussy ached for him. And yet…somehow there needed to be more.

She wasn’t satisfied with the level of pain. She needed more. “Come on,” she whined. “Do it harder.”

“You want harder?”

“Come on. You heard me.”

And then he stopped entirely. Nicole looked up at him from over her shoulder.

“Why are you stopping? I need to be punished.”

Red stared down at her. “You know this isn’t how it goes.”

“Stop being so rigid. Come on. I’m aching to be spanked and fucked.”

“You need to calm down. You’re out of control.”

“This isn’t out of control,” she said, sitting up. She looked at him. Her nipples were hard and tight. She was wet for him but she didn’t want it like this. She wanted it angry and hard and fast. She wanted to forget who she was.

“Nicole, you need to slow down,” he told her. “This isn’t a free for all.”

“Bullshit. Come on,” she dared him. “Afraid of a little tiny girl?”

His eyes blazed. “Don’t push me.”

She did push him then, hard on his shoulder. He grabbed her wrist. She pushed him with her free hand and he grabbed that wrist too.

Nicole tried to break free from his grip.

She was wrestling with him now, and the two of them rolled across the bed. Nicole was using her arms and legs, scratching and kicking as Red tried to gain control of her. At first she felt like it was all in fun, but that angry part of her seemed to blossom as Red began to slowly win the wrestling match.

Finally, she scratched his cheek and drew blood.

“Nicole,” he said, sitting back and touching his cheek. “What the hell?”

She sat up. “Can’t take your own medicine?”

Red’s eyes darkened and he smiled, a slow grin. “You really do want to be a bad girl this morning.”

“I need someone to punish me and then I need to be fucked hard,” she whispered.

“Do you, now?”

She nodded with a wild look in her eyes.

“That’s nice for you.” He suddenly yawned, lay back down and turned over onto his stomach, adjusting his pillow under his head.

Nicole watched him uncomprehendingly. “Red?”

He didn’t answer. His body was a lump under the covers.

She shook his shoulder. “Don’t pretend to go to sleep. That’s not nice.”

Red didn’t answer.

She sighed. “I’m sorry I scratched you. I thought we were playing rough.”

After another minute or two of him still not replying, Nicole began to get really angry. Her stomach was twisting and churning and she could feel her cheeks burning.

Why was he doing this to her now of all times? Didn’t he know she needed him to be close to her?

But his body remained still. He was totally ignoring her and she felt totally rejected.

Nicole got up, knowing how silly she was being, and headed for the door. “I guess I’ll go downstairs. Maybe when Chef Roland gets here he can take care of me. He looks like a man who can satisfy a woman.”

Suddenly she heard Red moving behind her. When she turned he was in her face, his eyes wide and enraged. “What the hell are you talking about, Nicole?”

“I thought you were asleep.”

“What kind of shit are you pulling with me right now?”

She folded her arms and tried to stand her ground. “I wasn’t pulling any shit.

You’re the one who just went to sleep in the middle of me trying to be close to you.”

“This isn’t that kind of game, babe. I don’t play the abusive husband role.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He looked at her and his eyes softened. “I know what you’re trying to do,” he whispered. “You’re scared and hurt and sad and you think that if we inflict pain on one another, it’s going to change things for you.”

She lifted her chin. “You think you know everything about me.”

He smiled a little. “I do know everything about you.” He walked closer still and put a hand under her chin. “You’re my soul mate. You’re my everything—more important to me than anything else in this world. You, Nicole.”

She wanted to cry now. She wanted to hit something. She broke down in tears, literally sinking to the floor. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” she said. She could barely understand herself, talking through all of these tears.

Red was holding her now, cradling her on the floor of their bedroom. She was a limp rag doll in his arms. “I know,” he whispered. “I hurt too.”

“I’m sorry I’m so weak.”

“You’re the strongest person I know, Nicole.”

She pressed her face into his chest. “I’m sorry I scratched your face. It was an accident.”

“It’s okay.”

“Nothing feels okay right now.”

“I know. I know. But it is.” He rocked her slowly back and forth and stroked her hair and she cried and cried some more until there were no tears left inside. Of course, she knew there were more tears. She’d felt cried out plenty of times in the last few days but there were always more.

She wiped them away with the back of her hand and sniffled, sitting up. “I don’t deserve you. You’re perfect and amazing.”

Red just laughed. “Stop talking shit.”

She grinned back at him, maybe the first real smile she’d had in days. “You know I don’t have a thing for Chef Roland.”

“I didn’t think so.” His smile faded and he became more serious. “I never want to say things just to hurt each other, though. We need to be better than that.”

Nicole nodded. “Agreed. That was a low blow. I feel like I’ve gone a little bit crazy lately.”

“We all go crazy sometimes. But remember I love you with all of my heart and I’m on your side. We both lost our baby.”

“I just want to go back to how it was.”

And then Red was kissing her on the lips, and she was responding. Her entire body was responding to him. His hands caressed her bare thighs, up her stomach, fondling her breasts.

His tongue pressed into her mouth, searching.

Nicole arched her hips into him. She was without panties and slick with desire.

Red’s lips moved from her mouth to her neck, and then down to her breasts as his hand cupped her bare pussy.

She arched into him again, moving herself back and forth on his hand. He gently slid a finger into her. She cried out with relief.

Yes. This is what I need.

His finger withdrew and then she rocked her hips into him again and the finger plunged inside of her moist hole, pushing through her folds.

His tongue licked her nipples through her lacy bra as his finger continued to plunge and retreat, plunge and retreat in time with Nicole’s hip movement.

Her entire entrance was slick with her own juices and ready for his manhood. But Nicole knew that as badly as she wanted him right now, he would take his time the way he always had.

This drove her slightly mad, but now it was in a good way.

She smiled as his hand worked its magic on her. “Oh, God. I want to come so badly.”

“Don’t do that,” he rasped. “Don’t come until I tell you to come.”

“But it feels so good.” Her hips pounded against his strong hand as his finger rhythmically slapped her clitoris and entered her.

“You’ve been a very bad girl and you need to start listening again,” he warned.

“Yes, I want to be good. I want to listen.”

“Then don’t come until I say so.”

“But I’m so close.” Her breath was coming in gasps as bursts of electric heat spun up from her hips and into her stomach and breasts.

He kissed her neck again. His other hand massaged her breasts and slowly pulled them free from her bra. Now her nipples poked out into the cool air. Red began sucking them as his finger worked her delicate lower space.

Nicole’s legs shook as they always did when she was getting close to release.

Her breasts were so tender, so sensitive, and his tongue and lips were making the nipples moist and erect.

“I can’t…I can’t take it,” she cried.

Red slid down, kissing her belly, and then down past that to where she was waiting, wet and open for him. Between her legs, he licked and sucked.

Her clitoris was so swollen with desire that his tongue easily found it, flicking it over and over again.

Nicole screamed now, the cords in her neck stood out.

“Please, tell me I can come,” she said. She was sweating. “Please, Red. Please.”

But he wouldn’t give her permission. He was enjoying her torture. His lips sucked her folds, and then his tongue worked its way inside her. Now Red’s hands held her hips and pulled her body closer to him as he continued his exquisite torture.

“I can’t stop,” she said. Her body was climaxing of its own accord. Her entrance was contracting with need and want, tightening, ready to release everything. She’d never been this wet. Or maybe she was always this wet with him—she didn’t know anymore.

Nicole was losing herself.

Suddenly, he drew up and took himself out of his boxers.

“Finally,” she yelled, with relief.

He chuckled. “Put your mouth on me,” he commanded.

Gratefully, she rose up on her elbows as he hovered over her on his knees, one hand pressed to the ground for balance. She took his full erection into her mouth, cradling his balls in her hand and sucking him all the way down.

Red moaned softly.

Nicole enjoyed giving him this pleasure, knowing how much he wanted her.

Knowing that he was having trouble resisting the urge to climax now, just as she had a moment before.

Her tongue swirled around his shaft, and then she pulled her head back and sucked only the head of his cock, her lips suctioned tightly to it.

Now she began bobbing up and down, her mouth more quickly sliding across the length of him, the sounds of her lips and the wetness from her saliva creating a sucking sound.

“Okay, slow down,” he told her. “Slow down or I’m going to come.”

She sped up, not wanting to listen. She was hungry for him. She wanted him to come in her mouth.

And he wanted to as well. She almost had him—almost had taken him to a place where he’d lost his control. And for some reason Nicole wanted to do this—wanted to make him so crazy that he forgot his need to always be in power.

He was so close. She could feel it. She moved faster. Her hand was stroking his shaft simultaneously as she sucked him off.

“Nicole—“

And then he’d pulled out of her mouth. She stared up at him with wounded eyes.

“But I want it,” she whined.

“Turn over,” he said.

She did so, again pouting. She needed to come so badly, she could scream.

Red took the head of his penis and placed it against her anus and slowly rubbed the tip of it around, sending a shockwave of pleasure through her. His body pressed against her from behind, pressed her into the floor with his weight on her back.

He slid one hand under her breasts and the other against her bare pussy, stroking it now, finding her clit as his penis slid between her butt cheeks.

She was nothing but wet—juices everywhere.

“You need to be broken in,” he hissed. “You’re too wild.”

“I do. I need to be broken in and fucked hard.”

He slid inside her ass with one quick motion, surprising her. He pumped into her, stroking her pussy and fondling her nipples as his mouth sucked the back of her neck, her earlobe.

Nicole felt him go deep into her, and there was some pain and pressure. He’d only done this once before—that night in Germany—and this time both the pleasure and the pressure were intensified.

He wasn’t being as gentle, which was good. She didn’t want it gentle right now.

She wanted to completely lose her mind, and the way it felt—she was going to.

“You’ve been very, very bad today and now you’re going to get fucked in your ass, Nicole. You’re going to get fucked and you’re going to come when I say.”

His hips pounded against her buttocks.

His shaft stretched her, hitting deeper into her behind. At the same time, she was relaxing somehow—loosening, accommodating his girth.

Shockingly, the orgasm she felt building now was almost too much to bear. She didn’t know how her body would respond. The wave was building and building and she could see it in her mind’s eye, towering over everything.

A huge blue wave rising out of the sea, rising up and up and up and up…

“Come now,” he commanded, and she instantly did so—going off like a rocket.

He pushed deep into her cavity, groaning as he did so, pulsating inside of her—but his hand was also rubbing her clitoris and Nicole’s legs splayed outward as if she’d been given an electric shock.

Her entire body was rigid with the explosion of her release and she literally screamed. She screamed again and again as wave upon wave hit her. She was coming one time after another.

All of the energy was spent.

Red withdrew from her, leaving her sticky with his semen. She was wet and full of his and her own juices. Her body was a limp noodle on the floor.

He rolled to the side and caressed her hair softly. “Did that do the trick?”

She nodded, unable to speak. Finally, after a long minute, she said, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure. Literally.”

“I needed that.”

“You’re going to be okay, Nicole,” he said, still stroking her hair.

“I hope so.” For now she was just glad to have released some of the pent up energy she’d been carrying around for days.

Some of her depression felt as though it had lifted, but she could also tell that it was waiting to descend upon her again once her endorphins had stopped and the serotonin was no longer spiking.

Slowly, Nicole sat up, her legs curled underneath her. Red was sitting up too.

“That was unexpected,” she told him with a little smile.

“In a good way?”

She nodded. “In the best way.”

“I don’t think Chef Roland would have been able to do that.”

“Definitely not,” she laughed.

***

Red had some business to attend to in Hartford, so he left around nine that morning.

“I’m looking at some office space for the new company,” he told her.

“You’re not going to have any offices in New York?” she asked.

He shrugged. “New York’s played out. Hartford’s got style, its got character—and besides, it’s a lot cheaper to rent there.”

Nicole laughed. “True.”

“What’re you going to do while I’m gone?” he asked.

“I think Danielle’s going to come by for a few hours.”

“With her new husband?”

“God no. Luckily she didn’t ask to bring him. I’m not sure what I would have said.”

“You’d have told her Kane Wright can set foot on our property when hell freezes over.”

“Not so sure that would go down too well.”

Red grabbed his briefcase and straightened his tie. He was dressed up in a black Armani suit, purple tie, his hair styled, clean-shaven. “I’m off to work.”

She admired him. “You look like how I remember you from the first day we met.”

“In other words—I look totally hot.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “Ego much?”

“Just a little.” He leaned in for a kiss. “Tell Danielle I said hi.”

“I will.”

He kept walking. “Remind her she can still get an annulment if she wants one.”

“Red!”

“I’m just saying…” his voice faded and then the door opened and shut as he left the house.

Nicole cleaned up the kitchen a little for Danielle’s arrival. It felt good to do some dishes, normal things that regular people did who owned a home together.

She’d already showered, but now Nicole also put on a pair of comfortable pants, sandals and a loose fitting long-sleeve shirt. She did her hair and applied a bit of makeup.

For the first time since the miscarriage she felt almost human.

Still, there was the pit in her stomach, the deep sense of loss. Nicole didn’t think that would go away anytime soon.

Danielle arrived at the house in a limousine.

She got out of the car, smiling, wearing a sundress and one of those sunhats that old, rich women wear while walking around resort towns. “Hi girl!” she shrieked, as Nicole came out of the house to meet her.

Instantly, Nicole felt annoyed at how unabashedly happy Danielle was. Then Nicole reminded herself that Danielle didn’t know about the miscarriage.

“Hey, Danielle.” Nicole hugged her friend, feeling like she hadn’t seen her in years, even though it had only been days.