For Keeps (12 page)

Chapter Twelve

Take a break. More like take a hike.
Three days had passed and Allie’s words still echoed in Cooper’s head. He’d pleaded with her, even argued after she suggested that they split up, but the discourse didn’t last long. She was set on her decision and there wasn’t much he could say about anything after she’d made up her mind. Part of him had to wonder if she’d been thinking all along their relationship was temporary, even after she’d said that she loved him.

To make matters worse, things at work were in complete disarray. The fixes to the upcoming software release came back from the second round of beta testing with new problems. Sitting for hours at his desk, staring at a computer screen until his eyes felt as if they might fall out of his head, was no way to nurse a broken heart.

“How late are you staying tonight?” Brian asked. He lay sprawled out on the couch in Cooper’s office with his laptop perched atop his belly.

“I don’t know. One. Two, maybe. You?”

Brian pushed back his shirtsleeve and squinted at his watch. “I should probably head home soon so I can help Laura with the kids at bedtime.”

Hearing his brother talk about his wife and children only underscored how empty Cooper’s life felt. “You should just go now. Have dinner with Laura. Spend some time with the kids.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you in the lurch.”

“Don’t worry about me.”
I don’t have anybody to go home to anyway.

Before Allie, he’d been satisfied with his solitary existence, the one without obligations beyond those he created for himself. In fact, he’d been so content that he never really thought about it. It was normal. It was easy. He’d manage a few dates a month, enough to keep him from being hopelessly sexually frustrated, and other than that, he didn’t need much more than sleep, food and a good game of pickup basketball.

Brian stood and stretched before picking up his laptop and tucking it under his arm. “I’m worried about you, bro. You’re a sorry excuse for a human right now.”

Cooper sat back and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course I am. This program is going to kill me. I just wish we could get it right so we can move on to something new. I’m over it.”

Brian set his computer on Cooper’s desk. “Not what I’m talking about. I mean Allie.”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. Why won’t you talk to me about it?”

“I told you what happened. I don’t really see the point.” He considered adding the part about being miserable and not wanting to do something truly pathetic like cry in front of his brother, but thought better of it.

“You told me she broke up with you and that was it. You can’t try to hide what’s going on. You’re going to give yourself an ulcer.” Brian pursed his lips, dimpling his chin. “I’m waiting.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. She doesn’t think it can work because of our age difference. She thinks I’ll want to get married and have kids and that she isn’t the right person for that.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking. Because it seems to me like you just took what Allie gave you, rather than fighting for what you really want.”

“How am I supposed to fight for her when she doesn’t want me?”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I don’t know what I believe anymore.” He turned back to his computer. “Don’t you have somewhere you need to be? I’m sure Laura’s waiting for you.” Cooper felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder.

“Hang in there, buddy. I bet she comes around at some point.”

I hope you’re right.
“We’ll see.”

Cooper immersed himself in his work again, unable to focus on Allie too much without driving himself crazy. The ring of his cellphone a half hour later sailed his brain right back to her.
It’s her.
He frantically sifted through the papers that littered his desk, all thumbs when he found his phone and squinted at the caller ID.
Crap.
“Hello?” he answered.

“Mr. Hale? I mean, um, Cooper? This is Melanie. From Metro Style.”

“Oh, right. Hey. Um, what’s up?”
Why is she calling me by my first name?

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

* * * * *

Six days after the breakup, Allie was exhausted from trying to coordinate her schedule around the times she was least likely to run into Cooper in the hall. She’d been staying late at the office almost every night, but even that was a crapshoot since he often worked until the wee hours himself.

Tired, cranky and in need of red wine, she packed up her bag and headed for home early on Friday. When she struggled to key into the building, she was reminded of the day Cooper helped her with the box of files.
That was the beginning.
Now that she was living in the aftermath of the end, it was hard to believe she’d ever been so happy.

Her mailbox was packed with catalogs and junk mail. She sifted through it as she headed up the stairs. The sound of footfalls caused her to halt at the first landing and listen.
No, not him. Too quiet.
She continued just as the salesgirl from the furniture store rounded the corner, her shoes making a delicate
click-click
. She wore a short black dress that showed off her enviable legs.
Holy shit.
Allie’s pulse raced as Melanie stopped on the stairs.

“Hello,” Melanie said. “You’re Cooper’s neighbor.”

Allie didn’t even know what to say.
Yes, of course, I’m his freaking neighbor.
“Uh, yes. Melanie, right?”

“Yes. I, um, just saw him.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder, which Allie worried might be a means of claiming victory. “Well, uh, nice to see you.” With that, Melanie continued downstairs.

Allie felt sick to her stomach.
He doesn’t waste any time.
The possibility that he wasn’t suffering through their breakup the way she was came crashing down on her. She unlocked the door to her apartment, unable to hear anything except her heartbeat as it slowed to almost nothing.

She had no idea what to do. Her hands felt like extraneous appendages, her skin crawled as if she were covered with ants, even her hair felt as though it was buzzing around her head like a swarm of pesky mosquitoes. Sounds came from Cooper’s apartment, footsteps, then music or the television.

There had to be a way to muffle the pain, disguise his presence right upstairs. She rushed to her stereo and turned on a CD to the point of drowning out the noise from his apartment.
If he had sex with Melanie, at least I wasn’t home. That would have sent me over the edge.
As she considered a trip through the yellow pages for soundproofing services, she opened a bottle of wine and made quick work of her first glass.

Now what?
The thought of watching the BBC or playing Scrabble on the computer left her feeling like the ultimate loser. Work was not an option. Starting up her laptop and checking email was a rabbit hole she needed to avoid for her own sanity. She grabbed her cell and pressed the speed dial for her sister, retreating into her bedroom with her wineglass.

“How’s the patient?” Andrea asked.

Allie groaned. “Was I really that bad last night?”

“Yes, but I still love you. Seriously, how are you today? Any run-ins with Cooper?”

“Yes and no. I saw the saleswoman from the furniture store I took him to. She was in our building. She said she’d just been to see him.” Allie made air quotes as she held her phone between her ear and shoulder.

“How does that equate a run-in?”

“I think she may have slept with him.”

The other end of the line was silent.

“Hello?” Allie asked.

“How in the hell did you reach that conclusion?”

Allie shook her head. “What? It’s a possibility. She’s beautiful and young and he totally flirted with her in the store.”

“So? Men are capable of being around beautiful women without boinking them. She sold the guy some furniture. Maybe she was helping him with space planning or something.”

Space planning. Yeah, right.
Allie twisted her lips. “That seems unlikely.”

“Okay, Al. I need you to listen to me. I’ve been the sweet, supportive sister up until now, but it’s been almost a week and you need a reality check.”

“I think I missed the sweet part.” Allie took a swig of her wine and slumped down in her bed. She poked her finger into her other ear. It sounded as if Cooper had turned up his stereo. “Fine. Have at it.”

“Did it occur to you that you think he slept with her because you’re just waiting for that to happen? It sounds to me like you spent your entire relationship waiting for him to decide he wanted a younger woman.”

“That’s not true. I was like that at the beginning, but I think I got over it pretty well.”

“You convinced yourself that you were over it, but that’s the whole reason you broke up. So clearly, you didn’t.”

Allie crinkled her forehead. “That’s not true either. You’re trying to make this my fault. He’s the one who spied on me in the restaurant.”

“That was your excuse to get mad at him. You made a preemptive strike because you were sure he would eventually dump you.”

Everything Andrea said created a cacophony in Allie’s mind.
Is that really what I did?
She thought back on her argument with Cooper, how she had controlled the discussion. She was the one who had steered them into a breakup.

Their dad had made a preemptive strike against their mother when he left her. He was so sure she would hurt him that he had to do it first. She’d spent all of these years trying to keep from winding up in her mother’s position. In the process, she’d swung to the other end of the spectrum and acted as her father had.

Her brain struggled to catch up with each realization as it bubbled to the surface.

“Allie?” her sister asked. “You still there?”

“I’m here. I never really thought about it that way.”

“Of course not. But just for the record, if some guy was so head over heels for me that he did something that idiotic and romantic to protect me, I would never let him go.”

I let him go.
Tears started down her cheeks and she turned on to her side, curling into a ball. “Are you finished?” she asked, wanting to close her eyes and fade into oblivion.

“Not quite. You know, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion if you were a man and Cooper was a woman.”

“Huh?” Allie sat up, her tears leaving a haze in her eyes.

“What if Cooper was forty and you were twenty-eight? Nobody would think twice about it. You can’t let something like that stand in your way.”

Sometimes it feels as though that’s all the world wants to say to me.
“So you’re saying I messed up,” she croaked.

“It can be fixed. I seriously doubt he slept with that other woman. You at least need to give him a chance to explain it.”

“I don’t know if I have the guts.”

“Well, honey, then you better get some or you’re going to lose your guy.”

Allie lay awake that night for hours. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d acted more foolishly. Andrea’s precise analysis had been enlightening and downright annoying.
I accused him of being juvenile but I’m ten times worse.
The clock on the bedside table glowed in red—3:14 a.m. She threw back the covers and shuffled into the bathroom.

Even in the sparse illumination from the nightlight next to the vanity mirror, she could see how hellacious she looked. Stress was taking its toll on her entire body, starting with her complexion. She smoothed her hair into a high ponytail, grabbed a sweatshirt from the closet and wandered into the kitchen for tea and to check email.

Her laptop came to life while she put on the kettle to boil. She watched as the red dot on her mail program counted higher with each new message. Scrolling through the list, Ian’s name leapt out at her. She opened the message, her hand trembling.

Allie,

I just received an advance copy of the
Ad Journal
annual award nominations. Official announcement comes Monday that The Flynn Agency is up for three awards. I don’t need to tell you that it is unprecedented to be nominated at all in your first year of operation. The next biggest agency nominated has eighty employees. At last count, you have less than ten. It’s after one a.m. but call me as soon as you get this, even if it’s the middle of the night.

Ian

Holy shit. Three awards? So much for sleep.
Allie consulted her phone. It was nearly four.
He said as soon as you get this.

Ian picked up after several rings. “I take it you got my email.” He yawned loudly.

“I did.” She smiled, relishing the chance to gloat. “I don’t know about you, but I’m psyched.”
I’d say I’m almost giddy.

“I’m very happy for you.”

“Yeah, well, I won’t hold my breath for roses.” She took a sip of her Earl Grey. “I’m guessing you didn’t want to talk so you could congratulate me.”