For Keeps (Aggie's Inheritance) (20 page)

At the top of the stairs, she overheard Vannie sob,
“
I always have to watch him! You never do! I just want to finish my book!
”
Guilty eyes met Aggie’s as Vannie realized she had an audience. She shifted a whimpering Ian from one hip to the other, embarrassed.

Before Aggie could speak, Laird’s door flung open, and he snapped,
“
Fine. Just give him to me. Why do you always have to wait until I’m in the middle of something he can’t be around
--”

“
Why didn’t you bring Ian to me?
”

“
Tavish would, if she’d just ask him
--”

“
Tavish watches him more than all of us put together.
”
A flush covered Vannie’s face.
“
Well, except for Aunt Aggie.
”

“
Gaggie!
”
Ian’s delighted little voice brought smiles to all faces. He reached for her, and Aggie took him.

“
Listen; all you had to do was bring him to me.
”

“
But you were resting. Laird was just
--”

The boy’s voice interrupted without apology.
“
What Laird does doesn’t matter. It’s unimportant because Laird does it. Now, if Vannie does it, it must be of vital importance and must not be halted for any reason.
”

“
Stop.
”
Her voice, quiet but firm, showed that she had little patience left for their nonsense.

“
But
--”

Aggie glared at her niece. She wasn’t proud of the anger rising in her and showing on her face, but frustration won over conscience and before she knew what she’d said, Aggie snapped,
“
Listen to me, young lady. When I say stop, I mean
stop
!
”

Defiance, something she’d never seen in the girl, welled in Vannie’s eyes.
“
No. I won’t stop. You act like this is all my fault, and it’s not. Laird is being lazy and getting away with it
--
again. I hate this! I want Mommy back. She’d make him do what was right.
”

With a flounce worthy of any overly dramatic teen movie, Vannie stalked to her door, flung it open, and slammed it shut again. Unsure what to do, Aggie turned to Laird and pointed inside his room.
“
Just go in and stay there until I come talk to you.
”

“
I’m sorry, Aunt Aggie. I should have
just
taken him.
”

“
No, Laird. You should have asked me what you should do. Ian isn’t your responsibility.
”
She pinched the bridge of her nose.
“
Just go do whatever you were doing. I’ll be back.
”

Shoulders slumped and tears in her eyes, Aggie started to climb the stairs to talk to Luke, but retraced her steps and went downstairs singing,
“
Guide me o Thou great Jehovah pilgrim through this barren land. I am weak but Thou art mighty. Hold me with Thy pow’rful hand
…
”

On the couch, she squeezed a wriggling Ian and whispered,
“
Oh little man, what am I going to do?
”

Tavish entered from the kitchen, and Ian ran to him squealing.
“
Can I take him outside to make mud pies with the girls?
”

Aggie nodded, not thinking of what mud pies would mean.
She hung her head in her hands
and rested her elbows on her knees. P-mails flew heavenward faster than she could recognize them as hers. Her heart, burdened by the uncharacteristic outburst Vannie had displayed, felt as if it was breaking all over again. If she lost control of the older children now, she’d have no hope of keeping the little ones in line.

Two feet appeared on the floor in front of her. The shoes were now as familiar to her as her own.
“
You heard?
”

“
You ok, Mibs?
”

“
Frankly, no. I’m not. Once again, I’ve proven that I cannot do this job.
”

“
Don’t do it. Don’t let your mind go there.
”
Luke sank down onto his heels and tilted his head to see into Aggie’s pained eyes.
“
If you let yourself convince yourself that it’s too hard, pretty soon every little bump will be overwhelming.
”

“
Maybe that’s because it
is
overwhelming. I just hate this.
”

“
Hate what?
”

“
Not knowing what to do. I am so unprepared for everything. Did I make a big mistake when I agreed to do this? I can’t go back on it now, but was I selfish? Over optimistic? Was I just arrogant enough to want to prove something to my sister?
”

Luke took her hands in his and was silent for so long, she nearly jerked them back and used them to shake whatever he wanted to say out of him. Sometimes she allowed herself the illusion of believing she’d grown accustomed to his long thoughtful silences, but then, inevitably, something happened to snap her back to reality. Just as she started to demand to know his thoughts, she realized he was praying. Her heart swelled with gratitude even as her anger deflated.

When he finally met her eyes again, Luke’s own eyes were concerned
--
pained even.
“
Mibs, I think the only bad thing about your situation is that you have no one to encourage you. You jumped into something that few mothers ever experience, and when they do, they slowly add to their job, one child at a time.
”
He sighed.
“
They also usually have someone that comes home at the end of the day, holds them close, and tells them how much it means that they do all that they do. You don’t have that. Everyone needs encouragement, but I’ve seen it; all you get is incredulous and rude comments from people who cannot see how painful their words are.
”

“
Not from you or your mother. Sometimes William
--”
She stopped. Most of William’s comments had been reminders of her failures and that she needed help.
“
Should I consider hiring help? It’d be a lot of money, but surely living with family and having help to do things like laundry and floor mopping and stuff would be better than having to get used to a new guardian when I crack.
”

“
What makes you think you’ll crack?
”

“
I thought you heard.
”

The man’s lips twisted as he shook his head.
“
Heard what?
”

“
Vannie’s outburst; Laird’s guilt when she lost it. Everyone thinking that they carry more responsibility than they should?
”

“
I heard,
”
he said after a minute or two,
“
a young teenaged girl become overly dramatic because her brother didn’t do what she expected him to do. Laird usually acquiesces to anything Vannie wants. She didn’t get her way this time, so she did what most teenaged girls do when they think they can get away with it: she created a scene.
”

“
But she lashed out at me too.
”

“
I think she has begun to see herself as on par with you. You’re not an authority figure anymore; you’re Aunt Aggie, the girlfriend who shares late night confidences and ice cream.
”
He hesitated again before he continued,
“
Mibs, I’ve heard you. You act as if you’re afraid to tell her what to do. She’s picking up on that, and it’s too much for her.
”

“
So, I need to step back and stay the mom-type rather than the comrade aunt-type?
”

“
I think you need to balance them. She needs you to exercise your authority when it’s appropriate so that she learns where that line is.
”
He sank back on the floor and wrapped his arms around his shins.
“
I bet when you first moved in with them, Vannie was hesitant to give you advice.
”

Aggie groaned.
“
Yes. I remember
when Cari cut her hair, Vannie was so apologetic about saying anything, but she told me what she thought Cari needed.
”

“
You need to get back to that spot and somehow blend it with Sunday night.
”

She stood, smiled her thanks, and glanced at the back door.
“
Will you make sure Ian isn’t drowning in mud? I have a teenaged girl to upset.
”

Luke waited until she reached the steps before he answered.
“
Mibs?
”

“
Hmm?
”

“
She needs to apologize. No matter what lines have been blurred, she knows what she did was wrong.
”

“
But what she said was probably true too. She does want her mother back.
”

“
And she used that fact as a weapon when she realized that she’d stepped out of line.
”

She didn’t know how to respond to him, particularly since she disagreed, so Aggie said the first thing that came to mind.
“
Thanks, Luke.
”

Outside Vannie’s door, Aggie sent a fresh string of P-mails heavenward and knocked. No answer came. She knocked again, and again, no answer. Frustrated, she turned the knob, ready to call out a warning, and found the door locked. Stunned, she stood there staring at the knob, unsure of what to do. The temptation to pound on the door and demand the girl open it was nearly overpowering, but Aggie controlled herself just in time. Instead, she turned on her heel and went in search of Luke. She found him starting up the stairs.

“
I need the smallest screwdriver you’ve got.
”

“
Locked the door?
”

“
Yep,
”
frustrated, Aggie almost ground the word between her teeth.