For Logan (Chicago Syndicate Book 5) (26 page)

Over and over, I relive the scene. Did Logan kill him? Did he yell
no
right before I ran out? I was so frantic in that moment that I can’t recall every second. If Mykhail wasn’t killed by Logan, then who did it?

Slipping my phone from my back pocket, I check to see if Logan has contacted me. In truth, I don’t want to believe he’d kill Mykhail in cold blood like that right after leaving my bed.

Regardless, there’s a small voice in the back of my head screaming to be acknowledged. If he
has
been honest with me and this is simply a misunderstanding, then he would’ve contacted me. However, it doesn’t make sense that Logan would leave the front door of Mykhail’s apartment ajar if he did murder Mykhail; he’s a trained agent. And he knows Adam lives there.

Utterly mixed up, I pinch the bridge of my nose in despair.
What am I supposed to do now?
Without having any other options, I decide to seek out Logan. Fortunately, my mother is up north for a couple of days with my aunt and my father is rarely home. I tell the housekeeper that I need to run out and to watch my cousin, who’s sleeping, before heading to my car and calling Logan, but he doesn’t answer. The only other person I can contact who’s somewhat trustworthy is Henry, so I tap his name in my contact list, bringing my phone up to my ear while steering out of the driveway.

He picks up on the first ring, “Rosalia?”

“Do you know where Logan is?” I probe without bothering to say hello.

“What’s going on, Rosalia?” he retorts, paying no heed to my question.

“What do you mean?”

“I know Logan went to see you this afternoon,” Henry explains. “And now, he’s here acting all strange.”

Where’s
here
? “At the club?”

“Yes.”

Since the cat’s out of the bag, I ask him, “Did he kill Mykhail, Henry?”

He’s silent, which worries me.

“I’m coming there,” I state.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

What exactly is Logan doing at the club?

“Now you’ve just made me more curious,” I blurt out, frustrated. “I need to talk to him.”

He says something, but I hang up and stash my device in my purse on the passenger seat. Dread fills me, and I’m consumed with sorrow. Palming my forehead, I wonder how this night went from Heaven – where Logan made love to me – to this current Hell – where I have to brood over his every intent since we met.

***

N
ervously, I go into Club 7, not knowing how many of these men are aware of my involvement with Mykhail. I glimpse around warily, just in time to see Logan parading across the dance floor toward the back entrance with a woman behind him. I track them toward the hall and take the elevator after it comes back up.

When I reach the underground, I search the corridors and peek inside mostly empty rooms until I find Logan in the third one. For a moment, I’m frozen. My heart sinks to my feet when I have to watch Logan with another woman, spinning her around and bending her over a mahogany desk pushed against the wall.

“Don’t talk,” he orders, gripping her hair. He seems detached. Incensed. Dark. More like the arrogant ass he was when I first met him.

Not even a few hours ago, I gave him my virginity, and now, he’s seducing another woman! Anger detonates, so I move inside the room and bang the door shut.

Both their gazes whip to me, and Logan pins me with an unreadable expression, releasing her.

“What are you doing?!” I sprint to him, ready to strike, but he catches my wrist easily.

“Don’t you dare hit me,” he warns in a low voice, shunting me backward and scrubbing his hand down his face.

The girl straightens her dress fitfully, aiming a condescending glance my way.

“What are you doing with her?” I repeat with bite.

“Who the hell are you? Isn’t it obvious you were interrupting us?” she pipes in.

I’m about to go off but cease my tirade when Logan snarls to her, “Get out.”

She stares at him and opens her mouth, yet Logan shouts, “Get the fuck out!” before he glares at me.

She struts past me and exits as he crosses his arms over his chest in a defensive manner. “What do you want?”

“To give you a chance to explain.”

He drums his fingers on his biceps, unwaveringly exasperated. “What’s there to explain? You ran out.”

Why is
he
mad? “Because I’m confused and scared. I had to get Adam out of there! I didn’t believe you actually betrayed me until this.” I wave my hand to him irately. “Did you kill Mykhail?” Please say
no
.

Logan’s demeanor is wholly uncomfortable. He keeps glowering as if I’m in the wrong here. “Yes.”

“Why? Were you already planning to kill him when you left my house?”
What’s happened that’s caused him to do a one-eighty?
“This doesn’t make any sense. Why are acting you so differently?”

My direct questions piss him off, and he spits with vehemence, “What the hell does it matter?”

“I want to know.” I step closer to him until I can almost touch him.

He spins around, the muscles in his back rippling as he drags his hands through his hair.

I’m livid about how he’s treating me when I just caught him with another woman right after he killed my friend. “Answer me!” I yell.

“Yes, I planned it,” he grinds out, turning around and scowling at me with manic eyes I don’t recognize. There’s such torment in his state, confusing me even further.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I scream.

In turn, he roughly pulls me close by my upper arms. With flaring nostrils, he hisses, “You need to learn to stop being reckless. I’m not giving up my position for a woman. I’ve worked too damn hard to achieve this. I don’t want to choose you over the Syndicate, so I obeyed orders.”

Hearing his response makes me feel like I’ve been stabbed. Nonetheless, he’s not done. He twists the knife to obliterate the fantasy I’ve constructed of us.

“And what were those orders?” I demand to know.

“To murder Mykhail and clean up the body,” he answers.

“And what did you tell the Syndicate about Adam?” I murmur.

“Nothing. He’s your problem,” he whispers without emotion, releasing me and deeming this conversation over.

I frown at him as my mouth drops open. “You’re not acting like yourself. Is there something else going on, Logan?” I implore.

“Jesus Christ.” He messes up his blond hair. “No. Rosa, I don’t want to have to point blank say it, but you’re forcing me because you keep pushing and pushing. Now that I’ve fucked you, I don’t want this anymore. I’m not a man who needs to be saved; I told you that.”

I hear his words, yet I’m in denial and mumble, more to myself, “No, I sensed your love for me. You made love to me just hours ago. You’re lying. Stop this—”

“Stop fucking what?” He crowds me and the man I’m facing is the head
Capo
who rules in the underworld. “Don’t give me fucking orders. Stop being naïve.”

Anger starts to dominate my pain since he’s being a dick. “Not once have you made me feel like a child during our relationship, but you did just now.”

He flinches as if I’ve struck him, yet his glare is promptly back in place.

I carry on, “You made me believe that there was more between us. Do you regret sleeping with me?”

“No, I’m just done with you. It was convenient for me that you caught me. Why the hell do you think I’m ignoring you? This is who I am. You haven’t changed me.”

The cracks in my heart expand with every word that comes out of his mouth. “So you just used me to fuck me?” I don’t hide the disgust in my tone.

“You act like we’ve been together for years – it’s only been a few months.”

“I know people who’ve been together far longer but don’t experience a fraction of the love we shared. And you’re just throwing it away after the first problems arise? Because of your precious
Capo
position?” I swallow back looming tears and clench a fist, bringing it up to my mouth in misery. “Oh, my God, I gave you everything. I let you do everything to me. I trusted you when you said you loved me.”

Logan gulps and gazes at me for what seems like an eternity. It was foolish to assume that I’d be the woman to change him. I knew it was a risk to love a man like him. I just never would’ve guessed I’d made such a wrong assessment of his character.

Indignantly, I take an encouraging breath and say, “You know what? I feel sorry for you. I might be naïve and reckless, or whatever else you’ve called me, but at least I know love. You might be older, but you’re stupid when it comes to love. I loved you for who you are. Not just your looks. Or all that money and power you have now. For
you
. But that’s not enough for you.” He stays silent and studies me while I add, “It wasn’t enough to break my heart; you had to take my virginity too? You’re a selfish son of a bitch.”

He explodes with that comment and comes at me, so I shrink backward toward the door. “Then get the fuck out and leave this selfish
SOB
alone.” Whisper-soft, he continues, “But I warn you, if you say anything about us or me, I won’t be so lenient regarding Adam.”

All my defenses go up. “I’ve outsmarted you for months. I can do it again,” I counter, taking his bait. I’ll protect Adam with my life.

Again, he grips my arm, pushing my shoulder into my neck. “No, Rosa. Don’t you fucking threaten me...”

Scared, I stand down. “Don’t worry. This naive girl won’t say anything. I’m not vindictive or childish – like you seem to think I am. But don’t underestimate me. If you rat me out and speak about Adam, I will retaliate. I’ve learned that from
you
.”

He hisses, frightening me. This is the beast inside him clawing to get loose. I yank my arm free, yet he doesn’t budge until he’s snarled at me once more. With shaky fingers, I rotate the knob and jerk open the door.

Then I look back at him. “I’ll leave you to find your conquest.” And I close the door with a final click, leaving a piece of myself behind with him.

In a stupor, I return to my car, and after half an hour, I’m parking it and entering the pool house.

The housekeeper stands up from the lounge chair with a book in hand and informs me, “Hey, Rosalia. He didn’t wake up.”

“Okay, thank you. You can go,” I comment and bend down to untie my boots, kicking them off as she clears out quietly.

I climb under the covers and hug Adam to me as he stirs, swinging an arm around my neck. While stroking his head, I embrace him snugly, and tears scald my cheeks when I cry as soundlessly as possible.

Just like Logan, I’ll have to live with the burden of regret now too. I regret the choices I made with Mykhail. I regret my recklessness. I regret loving Logan. He took my virginity and broke my heart within hours. Loving Logan has left me utterly alone. Apart from feeling overwhelming regret, I’m panicking because I don’t have a strategy about how to move forward. I’ve hit rock bottom.

This day will always be the worst one of my existence – the day that changed the course of my life drastically.

Rosalia

––––––––

I
’ve been awake for hours, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling with empty sadness floating in my chest.

Adam rouses and opens his eyes. Sitting up, he’s wide awake immediately. The first thing he asks is, “Where’s Myk?”

I attempt to put on a fake smile, pulling him to lie back down. Theatrically, he topples backward, lifting his legs into the air and holding his feet, making me laugh sadly.

“Do you know what Heaven is, Adam?”

“No,” he says, flexing his toes and looking up at me to make sure I’m seeing his tricks.

“Well, Myk is in Heaven. He isn’t here anymore. Mykhail was in an accident.”

“Okay,” he remarks.

My brows rise. I’m stunned that he understood me – I don’t even understand how badly I just explained death to a child.

“Is Myk coming?” he adds.

Clearly, he did not understand me.

I sigh. “No, sweetie.”

He slides out of bed and gets his plastic yellow car from the floor, so I drop the subject too.

With a pounding headache, I walk to the shower, noticing my swollen eyes in the bathroom mirror, and I can’t refrain from checking my phone. I’m so used to talking to or texting Logan the second I wake up, but I haven’t received any messages.

Since I’m so shaken up about everything, I climb back into bed, and then my life comes to a standstill. For days, I’m a mess. I’m a twenty-one year old girl taking care of a boy whose brother’s death I’m partly responsible for. A sense of isolation surrounds me.

What am I supposed to do now?

***

T
hree days pass before I force myself out of my wrecked state of mind. I can’t afford to wallow in self-pity over my broken heart and the man who threw me away. I realize I’m missing something, but I have Adam to consider; he’s my first priority, and I have to get on with my life.

First, I need to find out what the Syndicate has done with Mykhail’s body. Second, what am I going to do with Adam? Currently, I’m the only one taking care of him, and spending each day with him is tightening our bond. Somehow, he’s able to place a smile on my face with his sweet ways, and we cling to each other.

Fortunately, I know the address of a certain hacker that could help me. Logan had to drop something off at Henry’s once while I waited in his car. So, on Thursday, I’m standing in front of Henry’s apartment door with Adam next to me. I lift my arm but pause right before my knuckles hit the door. Since I’m at a loss, I knock.

A few second later, Henry opens the door just slightly to prevent me from seeing the inside of his apartment, a deep crease forming on his forehead as he adjusts his black-rimmed glasses. “Rosalia?” His gaze shifts down to Adam, who’s beaming at him.

“Hey, I need to talk to you,” I insist in an anxious tone.

“About what?”

I jerk my chin downward, motioning to Adam. “Obviously, I’m in a difficult situation.”

His eyes switch from me to Adam with an indecipherable expression. “Can we meet later?”