For The Least Of These (15 page)

“I didn’t know you had a long lost uncle,” she said.

I rolled my eyes to the top of my head, “I don’t, Alicia. I just meant that I’m not related to the people that own this restaurant.”

“Then why didn’t you just say that? Jeez, you drive me crazy sometimes.” I drive her crazy
– who’d of guessed?

Back in the menu, I wasn’t getting very impressed. They had spaghetti and lasagna, all kinds of sandwiches and pizzas, and two kinds of parmigiana: chicken and eggplant. Most of the other dishes were American: steak, seafood, burgers, and several southern dishes. No polenta, no risotto, not even tortellini. How could I eat here? I wondered. My father would disown me if he found out. I thought about a salad, but then I remembered the pathetic looking salad bar and changed my mind.

Alicia piped up again, “Brandy should order for us. She’s half Italian, you know?”

“I’m not ordering for anyone other than myself,” I said vehemently.

Adam jumped in. “Why don’t we just get a pizza? Can we all agree on that?”

Alicia sounded deflated, “I really wanted to try Italian country-fried steak and Italian-French fries, but okay.”

By the time the waitress returned, we had decided on a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. It was the only thing we could all agree on. Alicia also ordered a salad, and Rick got a small order of spaghetti.

The waitress told Alicia she could help herself to the salad bar, so Alicia headed in that direction. I told Adam and Rick that I was going to the ladies’ room and I followed Alicia. Before continuing to the restroom, I stopped beside Alicia. “So, what’s this thing with you and Rick? Last night you told me he was
– how did you put it – oh, yeah – your mud puddle back home was deeper than he was.”

“A guy has to be deep to excite a woman? Eighty percent of the men in the world would be alone if that were true.” Alicia was trying to be smart, and for once I had to agree with her.

“So, you really are attracted to him then?”

“Sure. What do I care if he’s a dog that was about to sleep with you fifteen minutes before he showed up in my suite? I mean your suite. He is Rick Hartwood, entertainer, heartthrob, and all around cool dude. What’s not to love?”

“So when are you dumping him?”

“Whenever you decide that he’s a jerk and that Adam is the one for you.”

“Already there. In fact, I was already there when Adam and I knocked on your door last night. You slept with Rick for no reason.” I loved telling her that even though I knew she’d done it to protect me.

“Who said I slept with him? You and Adam have the most vivid imaginations. He thought the same thing when he saw Rick in the suite with his shirt off.”

“I wonder why that would make him suspicious. And what were you wearing?”

“Rick’s shirt.” She thought for a minute before adding, “I guess that might give off the wrong impression. Still, I didn’t have sex with Rick. He was terribly upset that you puked on him. He’d gone by his room to get another shirt, and then he came over to our suite to see if Adam had brought you back yet. He had the shirt in his hand, and I asked him if I could use it as a night gown seeing how I left mine back at home. He said sure and gave it to me. I had just gone into the bathroom to put it on when you and Adam started banging on the door. I knew you would think the wrong thing, so I sent you away. I put the shirt on and Rick and I started talking about you and me. I knew he was trying to seduce me, but I’m strong and I kept him at bay. Then Adam showed
up and got the wrong idea – but it gave me an idea. I decided that you might get over Rick if you thought he and I spent the night together. So, I asked him to stay.”

“I thought you didn’t sleep with him.”

“I didn’t. He slept in your bed after I kept him up half the night talking. He thinks I’m a comedian or something. When we got up this morning, he started pouring on the charm again, and I still turned him down. I don’t think he’s ever been turned down before, and it’s made him more determined than ever. I suggested that we go to a coffee shop, and while we were there, he told me he was falling in love with me. Isn’t that the stupidest thing you ever heard? Oh, I guess that might not seem so stupid to you…”

I wanted to smack and hug her all at the same time. Instead, I said, “I’m glad you didn’t have to do anything more. Thanks, Alicia.”

“Like I would have done more. Not even for you. Even best friends have to draw the line somewhere.”

I left her to finish making her pitiful little salad and visited the ladies’ room to refresh myself. When I got back to the table, Rick was halfway through his spaghetti. It looked atrocious.

“I thought I was going to have to send Adam to find you,” he said with a grin.

“Ha ha,” I replied.

Alicia was eating her sparse salad, and she seemed to be enjoying it. Adam looked miserable. I reached over and touched his hand. He glanced at me, and then he pulled his hand away. I now felt as miserable as he had looked.

At long last, the pizza arrived. It looked pretty good, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was good. I noticed Adam praying to himself, but he didn’t suggest that anyone else at the table join him. Rick and Alicia didn’t even seem to notice Adam’s behavior at all. Before long, we had
eaten the entire pizza, Rick had paid the bill, and we were heading outside.

Adam reminded Rick about the concert. Rick didn’t seem too worried about it, but he said that he probably should go start getting ready. He kissed Alicia on the cheek and told her he would see her at the concert. He jumped into the Taurus and drove away.

“I guess I’m stuck with you two lovebirds,” Alicia said.

Adam unlocked the car so we could get in. I knew he was waiting for me to correct Alicia, so I said, “We aren’t lovebirds. We’re…we’re church buddies.”

Alicia got a wrinkle between her eyebrows. “Church buddies? What the heck does that mean?”

“I took her to church. What else could it mean?” Adam asked.

“You? Brandy? My Brandy? You went to church? Are you sure you really are Brandy?”

“Yes, I went to church. And that reminds me,
Adam; I have a lot of questions about that church.”

“I’ll just bet you do,” Adam said. “And I really want to answer every one of them, if I can…”

Alicia interrupted, “Do you have to do it now? I would really like to go to Wal-Mart and buy me some fresh clothes. You can answer her questions later.”

Adam wasn’t sure. “It’s kind of important, Alicia. Maybe you should listen, too.”

Alicia was insulted. “I don’t appreciate you deciding that I’m a heathen just because Brandy is. I know God and Jesus, thank you very much. And I’ve tried for over twenty years to introduce Brandy to them, but she’s never been interested before. I guess I just wasn’t cute enough to persuade her.”

“I don’t think I’ve said either of you are heathen. I’m not trying to be judgmental. I’m just concerned for both of you. Alicia, your behavior with Rick just leaves me…wondering about you. Sorry.”

“You don’t know everything, Mr. Holier-than-thou. I’m beginning to think you aren’t right for Brandy either. For your information, I did not fornicate with Rick Hartwood last night or any other time – nor do I intend to.” Alicia was worked up. I had hardly ever seen her this upset. I had hardly ever heard her use such a big word as “fornicate”.

I wasn’t sure if Adam bought her story about Rick, but he said, “Maybe now isn’t the time for me to speak to Brandy. I’ll wait until we are alone, if that’s okay with her.”

“Yes, that’s fine,” I replied. At least I knew he was planning on being alone with me again at some time. In the meantime, I would continue to remind God – and Jesus, too, of course – of all the things I was willing to do if Adam fell in love with me.

So Adam drove Alicia to Wal-Mart. While he headed for the Electronics Department, Alicia and I made our way to the Women’s Department.

“I still can’t believe you went to church. You must really like Adam a lot. Have you ever even been to church before?”

“Not really. I went to my Great-Aunt Carlotta’s funeral. And then there was the funeral for my mom’s brother, Clayton. Of course we both went to your cousin’s wedding. That’s about it.”

“So how did you like it?”

“It was pretty boring for the most part. But I am going to ask Adam about some stuff.”

“Why don’t you ask me?”

“Some of the questions are about what happened today in church. Besides, you aren’t the expert that Adam seems to be and you aren’t as dedicated as he is.”

“What? I am too dedicated.”

“Then why weren’t you in church today? And last week? And the week before…?”

“Alright already, I see your point. Maybe I should spend more time relating to Jesus. I’ll give it some thought. Right now, I see a clearance rack that I’m going to check out.”

Alicia ran off towards a rack of clothes, and I followed. I was running low on money, and the sign on this rack read “$5.00”
– just my price. Hopefully they would have something in my size. I noticed that Alicia already had two or three items in her hand. Luckily, Alicia and I weren’t the same size, so I was able to find a blue short sleeved blouse and a pair of Lee stretch denim jeans. The jeans were actually ten dollars, but I took them anyway. After we had paid for our new clothes, we both went into the restroom and changed. Then we started looking for Adam.

Adam was perusing the games for the Xbox 360. He looked up when Alicia came bouncing up beside him. “Brandy loves those games,” she said to him. “Did she tell you?”

“No, she didn’t. I like some of them too.”

“You two have so much in common.” Alicia was back to matchmaking. I guess she had forgiven Adam.

“If you say so,” was Adam’s reply. “Are we ready to leave yet?”

“Yes, I think we are done,” I said. “I guess you can take us back to my car.”

“That reminds me,” Alicia interjected, “Rick gave me these backstage passes for the concert. He didn’t give me one for you Adam, so I hope you have yours already.”

“I’m fine,” Adam said. “I can get in when it’s time. And you can ride with me to the concert if you want. I’ll take you back to your car afterwards. That way, you won’t have to pay for parking.”

‘Thanks, Adam, I really appreciate the offer. I’ve blown a lot of money on this trip.” I was almost broke at this point.

“Guess you should have thought about that before running after Rick.” This was Alicia, although I was sure Adam was thinking the same thing.

I stuck out my tongue at Alicia just as Adam said, “Come on, Alicia. Give it a rest. You’ve dogged Brandy enough about this trip. I’m sure you wanted to come just as much as she did. Otherwise, why didn’t you stop her? You know she wouldn’t have come without you.”

Alicia didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. I wanted to laugh, but I was afraid Adam would put me in my place, too. So I didn’t say anything either. In fact, all three of us remained quiet all the way to Adam’s car. Alicia took our bags and hopped into the backseat. I took the shotgun position and, of course, Adam drove. I looked at the time on the dashboard clock. It was already four o’clock. Still, the concert was four hours away. I wondered what we were going to do until then.

Apparently, Alicia was wondering the same thing because she said, “Adam, have you ever had your fortune told? I know this place…”

“I don’t want to have my fortune told. I don’t believe in that stuff. If you’re bored, we can catch a movie or something. I really don’t have to be at the Coliseum until
– well, actually at all. I don’t have anything to do with the concert. Of course, I’m going to take you two, so I do have to go. But we don’t have to get there four hours early. Unless that’s what you want to do…”

“No,” I said. I sure didn’t want to spend four hours backstage waiting for the concert to start. I didn’t want to mingle with roadies, band members, and especially Rick. “We can do whatever you want, Adam.”

We decided to take in a movie. Alicia wanted to see Finding Nemo, but it wasn’t playing at the theater we were closest to. The interesting movies that were playing were Fifty First Dates, The Passion of the Christ, Dawn of the Dead, and Butterfly Effect. Adam said he wasn’t picky and he left it up to Alicia and me. Alicia vetoed The Passion of the Christ. She said that it would just start another argument. I was a little disappointed because I thought the movie might answer some of my questions, but I figured I could watch it some other time. I suggested Dawn of the Dead, thinking I could grab onto Adam during the scary parts, but Alicia rejected it too. She felt that it would be too gory. Adam was getting impatient, so I chose Fifty First Dates with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

The movie turned out to be cute and funny and not nearly as silly as most of Adam Sandler’s movies. I couldn’t tell if Adam really liked the movie or not, but he did laugh almost as much as I did. Alicia thought she wouldn’t like it, but in the end, she was teary eyed just like I was.

When the movie ended, Adam drove us to the Coliseum. He had a pass that allowed him to park in a special area, and we were able to go straight inside without waiting in line. We did have to show our backstage passes as we entered, but Adam made sure everything went smoothly. As soon as we were inside, I was astonished by all of the behind the scenes activities. I never imagined that it took so many people to set up a stage. Everyone was busy, but they all worked together to get the job accomplished. Apparently, I had stopped to watch, so Adam grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the way. He briefly stopped and talked to a guy who was carrying a clipboard. The man pointed to the left, and Adam pulled me in that direction until we reached a door. Adam then opened the door and led Alicia and me inside.