Forbidden Attraction (Forbidden Trilogy) (18 page)

TODAY’S CLASS FEELS atypical. Liam has taken a seat next to me, but my attention is on Grayson. His professional persona is in place and gone is the sex god who gave me multiple orgasms over the weekend. I want our eyes to meet just once, but he looks over and through me. My eyes gaze over his tailored slacks and crisp button-down shirt. To think I have seen him sans clothes causes a throbbing sensation in my core. I remember his hands on my body and the expert wielding of his tongue. I reminisce on the way his thick cock pounded me into oblivion. I squeeze my legs together in an effort to contain the neediness that’s taking over.

My fantasy is shattered at Liam’s request to borrow a pen. I look at the whiteboard where Grayson is standing and realize I need to be taking notes. My studious efforts do little to suppress my indecent thoughts, but I make it to the end of class. I’m about to gather my things, when Vanessa walks in. She’s wearing a pencil skirt and modest blouse, but the guys in the class still gawk at her obvious sex appeal. Some of the girls stare too, trying to figure out her connection to the professor. Her business attire complements his; they look like they belong together. Their voices are hushed, but I can tell Grayson is preparing to leave with her. I see red and know that it’s unjustifiable.

As I make my way out of the door my eyes meet Vanessa’s briefly. “Siobhan?”

Shit. Double shit. In my fit of blinding jealousy, I forgot Vanessa was unaware of our connection. “Hi,” I say dumbly.

She turns to look at Grayson in irritation. “She’s your student?”

“Not here, Vanessa. I’ll explain later.” He puts his hand on the small of her back to guide her out the class without a scene. All I think about is how he touched me the same way. The intimacy of it is now tainted. Although he says he’s no longer with her, familiar jealousy in her eyes reflects back at me. There’s more to his involvement with her than he’s letting on and now he’s leaving with her. Liam walks up behind me and I shake it off.

“You want to grab a coffee?”

“Really? You want to go to the same place where you shattered my heart with your infidelity?” I ask harshly. He winces and I know I’m taking my anger out on him.

“Sorry. You’re right. We can have lunch in the cafeteria if you want.” He looks remorseful, but I can’t. Grayson’s departure with Vanessa, coupled with the reminder of his behavior with Heather, makes my stomach roll with contempt.

“Not today, Liam. It’s too soon. I’m going to grab something from the vending machine and head to my next class.” I can’t look at him. I’m afraid he’ll see my disdain has less to do with him and more for our professor.

“Okay, Shiv. Whatever you need. If you need time, I can give you that.” He grabs my hand and I almost lose it. I pull away and clench my fist.

“Liam, if you want us to work on rebuilding our friendship, you have to stop making inferences toward something more. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Sorry. It’s just so hard. My fuck-up crushes me everyday.”

“Bye, Liam.” His constant apologies are not as effective as he intends. My heart is beating wildly as I try to tame my anger. Blame it on my red hair, but I’m incensed. Grayson seemed so indifferent and condescending toward me. Yet with Vanessa there was familiarity, gentle affection. In comparison, Liam seems clumsy and boyish and I’m so irritated by the conflicting emotions running through my brain. His touch just made it worse. He has a long way to go to mend that bridge.

I attend my remaining two classes on autopilot. I wonder what Grayson and Vanessa are up to. Maybe he took her to lunch before banging her senseless.
Ha.
Maybe his true reasoning for limiting our arrangement to the weekend is so it doesn’t conflict with his weekday arrangement with her.
Bastard.
Damn I’m so stupid. I turn off the do not disturb function on my phone and see that I’ve a missed text from Grayson

Grayson: It’s not what you think. I am not involved with Vanessa. Give me a chance to explain when I call you later.

How cliché.
It’s not what you think.
Isn’t that the line all guys deliver when they’ve been busted with their hands in the cookie jar? And didn’t he ask Vanessa to give him a chance to explain as well? What game is he playing? I can’t wait for him to call so I can let him have it.

If he wants multiple fuck buddies he needs to be clear on the terms. This “I don’t share” bullshit will not be one-sided. If he wants to dabble, that option will be open to me as well—that’s if we continue this damn arrangement. I’m fired up. I walk into our condo and the smell of chocolate cookies wafts in the air. Jordan is running around the kitchen like a mad woman. The island is filled with fruit and cheese platters as well as my favorite Mediterranean rice balls.

“What is all this?” My mouth waters for the delicious looking appetizers.

“The girls are coming over for watermelon margaritas and a little girl time. The snacks are just to hold us over until dinner.”

Great. Company coming over to crowd my space is exactly what the doctor ordered after a day like today—not.
I don’t want to ruin Jordan’s fun after she’s made all these preparations so I put a smile on my face and pretend it’s the best plan ever. “Okay. Let me get changed into something more comfortable and I’ll help with the margaritas.” At least there will be alcohol involved. And to think I never use to drink—now the numbing effect is my savior. I don’t want to hear another lecture from Jordan so I’ll keep today’s events to myself. My phone rings and I answer it quickly, anxious to hear from Grayson. Instead I hear heavy breathing and I scream before hanging up. The phone rings again and I’m ready to let this sick fuck have it.

“What the fuck do you want, ass wipe?”

“Hello to you too, Siobhan,” Grayson says with underlying humor in his tone. “Should I call you at a later time?”

“No. I thought you were my unknown caller who keeps calling me and holding the phone,” I huff.

“Surely you must have caller ID. Just decline any calls that are unknown.”

Duh.
I don’t say that though. “You’re right. I’ll do that.”

“About today. Vanessa came to meet me for a business lunch. She works in my father’s company as a senior marketing research analyst. She needed insight on an acquisition we’re looking at. She was surprised to find out you were my student. The fact that I omitted that is causing her to be suspicious of our involvement. I tried to dissuade these thoughts, but I don’t know how successful I was.”

“So you are not sleeping with her?”
I can’t believe we’re having this conversation again.

“I think you and I both know I don’t sleep with women. I fuck, but no, our relationship is strictly platonic.” He pauses before questioning my intentions. “You are not having second thoughts, are you? I told you I didn’t want a relationship, but that doesn’t negate the fact that we are bound by exclusivity while this arrangement is in place.”

I don’t dare tell him I’m starting to develop feelings for him. I don’t know how long I can continue as is, but for right now, I’ll take what he’s offering. I can’t deny the sex is earth-shattering. Unparalleled. I might as well use this break from relationships to explore my sexuality. “Fine, but I won’t share you either. No weekday arrangements for you.”

“What?” It takes a second before he comprehends my insinuation. “You think I have another arrangement with someone else? Baby, I enjoy the delayed gratification. I save all my pent-up sexual energy to unleash on you once the weekend arrives.”

Oh my. What do you say to that? “Well, that’s good to know.”

He chuckles at my obvious loss for words. “Would you like to meet me for dinner tonight?”

“Delayed gratification, huh?”

“I was actually speaking about a meal, not sex. Although I’m finding I like the way you taste. You could be dessert,” he jokes.

“You are such a cornball. Tonight I can’t. Jordan and I are having a girl’s night with watermelon margaritas.”

“You have such a colorful vocabulary,” he chides. “I love all your Siobhanisms. I tell you what. What do you say to spending this weekend in San Francisco? We can take in the sights during the day and have fantastic sex each night.”

My heart flutters and I’m glad he isn’t here to see the silly grin on my face. I’m flattered he wants to spend time with me outside of “fucking.” I’ve only been to San Francisco once with Liam, but that was three years ago. I can’t say I’m one hundred percent sold on the extent of his relationship with Vanessa, but I’ll trust what he says for now or until irrefutable proof proves otherwise. In the meantime, I want to make new memories with Grayson. “Sure. That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Great. I’ll pick you up at five o’clock Friday. Don’t drink too much tonight. You have classes tomorrow,” he warns.

“Yes sir,” I reply with sarcasm.

“Hmm. I like the sound of that. See you Wednesday, Siobhan.” He ends the call and I immediately feel bereft. I love the sexy rasp of his voice. He has managed to awaken my desire over the phone. Delayed gratification is for the birds.
Ugh
.

OUR GIRL’S NIGHT is filled with alcohol and gossip. We vow to make Monday nights our regular margarita time to energize for the week. I have to admit it’s nice to expand my circle of friends beyond Jordan, especially since I wasn’t keen on the idea of company earlier. Liam had monopolized most of my time so I didn’t have the inclination to hang out with anyone but Jordan in my spare time. Looking back, I was somewhat a stick in the mud. I rarely drank, rarely went to parties, rarely cursed, and let's not talk about my sex life. See the trend here? Now I’m more uninhibited, so in a way, I have Liam to thank. His act of betrayal has made me reevaluate the things I want from life. I’ve given myself permission to have fun. I’m not completely there yet, but I’m taking baby steps. After all, I never would have pictured myself in a no-strings arrangement, yet here I am.

I leave the girls in the living room around ten o’clock. I only have one class tomorrow, but all the alcohol has made me sleepy. I shower and get ready for bed. I find a text waiting for me from Grayson. I’m elated.

Grayson: I hope you had a good time tonight with the girls. Sleep tight beautiful.

The text was sent two hours ago, but I reply anyway.

Me: Going to bed now. Had a great time. Until Wednesday :)

He doesn’t text me back before I fall asleep. His sweet words are enough to hold onto for now.