Forbidden Attraction (Forbidden Trilogy) (29 page)

HER SNEER IS unhidden now. “Grayson suffered a great tragedy that’s changed him. It’s not my place to say what, but just know that I’m the only one he’d ever let into his heart. He is a control freak to the nth degree.” She pauses, trying to decide what she’s willing to share. “Grayson is a sex addict. He’s current seeking therapy at my request. He uses sex and one-night stands to keep women at arm’s length. The extended arrangement with you beyond one night, the kissing, and the sharing of his bed with you isn’t him opening up to you or letting himself fall in love with you. It’s his attempt to control the variables of normalcy. This is what normal people do so he emulated these behaviors on his terms. He hates his dependency on sex, therefore he has an uncontrollable need to take back control anyway he can. By agreeing to that arrangement, you gave him the control he so desperately sought. He was able to manipulate the terms of the relationship and the way it played out. You gave him the sex he craved and the control he needed. It wasn’t until I brought it to his attention that he was manipulating his therapy that he decided to let you go.” Vanessa’s smugness is astronomical.

“I don’t believe you.” Why should I trust her? It’s obvious she is in love with him.

“Siobhan. Grayson and I have hooked-up between every one-night stand he has ever had. Every break he has ever taken from being on the prowl has been with me. So you see, I have the longest ongoing relationship with him. I’m his one constant, his link to normalcy. I ground him. I don’t push him for anything more because he still has healing to overcome. When the time comes for him to be with someone, it’ll be with me—someone who has been loyal to a fault, not someone he used to exorcise his demons.

“Grayson made love to me and slept in my bed. Even though I think this is his manipulation of normalcy as I said before, I think he wants it with me. He admitted all the things he allowed himself to experience with you. It was hard to hear, but I listened anyway. That is the kind of relationship we have. I came to you today as a woman to try and give you the facts. I can’t share specifics, but I figured if you understood the dynamics of our relationship, it would help you move on. Yes, I do love him and I’ll fiercely protect what we have.”

Tears sting my eyes. I don’t want to believe her, but what indication has he ever given that she is insignificant? He’s always meeting up with her. He admitted telling her about our arrangement.

The remains of my heart crumble a little bit more.
A fucking sex addict?
I had no false hopes of getting back with Grayson, but it hurts to hear the underlying facts that made up our non-existent relationship. Our arrangement was a game to him. A way to keep his sexual urges at bay through self-imposed monogamy. I was his compromise to bedding several women—an attempt at normalcy.
Really?
His words about delayed gratification come to the forefront. He was deliberately forcing himself to abstain from sex until the weekend as an act of control—to conquer his dependency. I feel so stupid. My heart quivers in the hollow shell of my chest. Tears burn my eyes, but I won’t let them fall. Vanessa has done what she’s come to do. And no, it wasn’t to help me move on. She came here for the sole purpose of shattering any illusion that I meant anything to Grayson. She wanted to tarnish any memories I have with him and taint the satisfaction of having some of his firsts. Well played. Mission accomplished.

“Vanessa, you may go now. You have accomplished your goal. I see through your motives, but I have no plan to seek Grayson out. Your connection with him is safe from me.”

“That was never a fear, Siobhan. It is my bed and my body he’ll occupy tonight. You were never a threat to me. He still sought me out during your so-called arrangement. Not for sex, but for advice and support. You never had him. You just thought you did. He would never consult you on anything important. I wanted to make things clear to you. And now that I have, I’ll be on my way.”

I gasp at her forwardness. If I could get out of this bed and yank out her hair, I would. How crazy do you have to be to visit someone in the hospital for the sole purpose of destroying them? How heartless? I won’t let this crazy tramp see me cry. I hold the hurt and turmoil within and watch as she leaves my room. As the door slides partially close, the damn breaks. I thought I knew heartache before. The pain is just as unbearable as my physical injuries. I allow my head to fall back on the pillow while I will the darkness back. At least it was a pain-free existence. While I wallow in misery, a familiar voice makes my ears perk up. Just outside my door I hear Grayson and Vanessa.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Vanessa?” Grayson spits.

“What does it look like? I was just visiting Siobhan to make sure she was okay,” Vanessa lies.

“Why? Why would you do that? You two are not friends.”

“We don’t have to be friends for me to express my concerns for another human being.”

“You are lying to me, Ness. Why? You know I always see through your lies.”

Oh. My. God. He has a cutesy nickname for her. I want to barf. They need to get away from my door. I’m in my own personal hell. I want to yell for them to go away, but my nosiness knows no bounds.

“Don’t be so judgmental, Gray. This is partly your fault too, you know? You made her into some lovesick fool you had no intentions of being with,” she taunts.

“The boundaries were clear. I can’t help—” He cuts his statement off, but I want to hear where he was going with this. “Look, I’m not going to do this here with you. I’m going in to talk with her and make sure she’s okay. I’m sure she’ll tell me what you were really up to,” he whisper hisses.

“Like hell you are. This shit between you two is over!” she yells.

“Keep your voice down. Who the hell do you think you are? You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Look, Grayson, I’m sorry, but I can’t let you see her. This is unhealthy. Your guilt is eating at you right now. Her accident wasn’t your fault. I’m your friend and I won’t let you get sucked into something out of pity.”

“What are you even going on about? I’m just checking on her.”

“Who’s lying to who now? I already checked on her and she’s fine. The truth is I did it so you wouldn’t have to. We both know the significance of her accident and what it represents for you.”

There is complete silence on the other side of the door. What’s going on? What’s Vanessa talking about?

“I appreciate your concern, Ness, but it is not necessary. You’re right. I do feel the guilt. I didn’t end things very well and then I rubbed you in her face. This has nothing to do with my past though, so don’t make this into something more than it is.” I wish I could fill in the blanks to what they are not saying. They’re being very cryptic, but one thing for certain, Vanessa is determined not to let him see me.

“Don’t you dare take a another step. Please don’t force my hand, Grayson. Don’t make me jeopardize our friendship because I will. I’ll do it to save you.”

“What are you going to do?” he growls.

“I’ll report your fling to the dean. I have proof, too. The club, your little trip to San Francisco—”

“You had me followed?” he interrupts. He’s flabbergasted.

“I knew you two were up to something when I found out she was in your class. The pictures are time stamped so it doesn’t matter that the semester is over. Think about it, Grayson. What will this leak mean for you? You’re rich. You’re the VP of your father’s company for God’s sake. This will be of no consequence to you, but what about her? What will this mean for her academic credibility? What will her consequences be? They will comb through every class she has ever taken in search of additional sexual misconduct. I. Will. Ruin. Her,” she punctuates.

“You wouldn’t dare.” The coldness in his voice is glacial. I never thought about the scale of accountability and who had more to lose. My academics are all I have. The terseness in Vanessa’s tone tells me she’s not bluffing.

“I promise you I would. The minute you walk into her room, I’ll take a picture of you entering and then I’ll start the rumors myself. I’ll make it my personal business to visit the dean and destroy her.”

I hear some shuffling of feet and then a thump. “Let go of me, Grayson. You’re making a scene.”

“I can’t believe you’re this evil. I’ll never forgive you for this,” he says sadly.

“I’m so so sorry. You’re forcing my hand. You know I’ll do anything for you. I can’t see you go down that road again no matter what you say. Please don’t hate me,” she sniffles. “I need you to choose right now. Walk away or make me destroy her.”

“Don’t you see, Ness? That’s not the choice you’re creating right now. The real choice is do I allow you to destroy her or do I destroy us? Goodbye, Vanessa.”

“Grayson, wait!” I hear her heels clicking against the tile. The sound travels away from my door and they are both gone. So that’s it? He’s going to let her win? I know he didn’t want to see me in trouble, but damn.

He walked away from me just like that. I didn’t want to believe their connection was as strong as she portrayed, but I can hear his anguish. Unlike the ease in dismissing me, his hurt from walking away from her was apparent. She is indeed special to him. I’m a nobody. I bet he is thinking, why risk a scandal and academic ramifications for someone who is dispensable? He’s upset with her right now for stomping all over his control, but in the end, I know he’ll forgive her. As she said, she is his constant in the revolving door of women who wish to break down his barriers.

Fresh tears slide over the dried ones on my cheeks. The hollowness in my chest steels my resolve: this will be the last time I cry for him or love. I was so intent on getting over Liam, I allowed his gentleness and exposure to new things warp my plan of not getting caught up again. I was defenseless to his tender moments and good looks. I know it doesn’t seem that he was charming or gentle, but I could see beneath his tough façade. There was more to him than meets the eye. He made me fall hard, only to kick me while I was down. Not only that, he has allowed his—whatever she is to him—to kick me, too. Our attraction was forbidden, but we acted on it anyway. The secrecy and lies were destined to end in ruin from the beginning. Nothing good ever comes from deception. I’m glad that this is the start of our Christmas break.

It’ll allow my heart the time it needs to heal and when I get back to school I’ll ward off relationships like the plague. Jordan and my mom walk in with flowers. I use the back of my hand to dry my tears, but Jordan doesn’t miss the attempt.

“Hey, baby. I’m so glad you’re finally awake.” She kisses my forehead. “What’s wrong baby?” Crap. She notices I’ve been crying.

“I have just been replaying the events of the horrible crash in my mind. I was so scared,” I lie.

“Oh, honey, you’re safe now and we’re here.” Jordan smirks at my blatant excuse.

“I was so worried about you, Shiv. You scared me half to death. I shouldn’t have let you leave alone.” My mother looks between us, trying to figure out the unsaid words. She doesn’t know about Grayson or that I left in the rain upset. Jordan hugs me and I whisper in her ear.

“It’s not your fault.”

The doctor comes in and tells us he’ll be removing the chest tube today and I should be able to go home in a few days. A police officer from the scene of the accident walks in and I wonder what he wants. As far as I know, I didn’t hit anyone else’s car, thank God.

“Good morning, Miss Gallagher. I’m Officer Howard. I’m glad to see that you’re doing better from the last time I saw you.”

I grip the blankets with my sweaty palms. Something is wrong. This is not a casual visit.

“I just want to ask you a couple questions,” the officer continues. “The driver that towed your car reported the right front wheel of your car had been tampered with. The bolts were not secure, which meant the tire could have come off at anytime, especially at increased speeds. Did you have any work done to your tires recently?” My mom gasps in horror.

“Oh my God, Siobhan. Oh my God,” she repeats in full panic mode. Jordan and I exchange worried glances. The anonymous phone calls immediately come to mind and I can see Jordan has come to the same conclusion. I recall my front tire was wobbling just before I lost control of the car. I don’t want to scare my mother. I need to figure this out, but not stuck in Texas, which is exactly where my mom will force me to stay if she suspects foul play.

“Oh no officer. Umm, I’m embarrassed to say I tried to change my own tire right before the accident. I must have not tightened the bolts properly,” I lie. Jordan is staring daggers at me and I’m afraid she’ll give me away.

“Are you sure, ma’am? There isn’t anybody that’s trying to hurt you?” My mother looks at me questioningly.

“I’m positive.” My mom lets out a sigh of relief and I know I’ve done the right thing.

“Siobhan, you could have been killed. Don’t ever try that again. Leave that type of thing to the professionals,” she chastises.

“Sure thing, Mom.” The officer thanks me for my time and leaves his card with me in case I think of anything else. I will call him once I get home and explain why I couldn’t say anything in front of my mom and my need to have this kept private. I’m actually scared shitless. Who would want to hurt me? They should take a number. I can’t wait to get away from Los Angeles for a while. Is this the work of Vanessa? Somehow I don’t think she is that crazy, but you never know. I try to recall when the calls first started. I don’t really have any enemies besides her.

My mom leaves to get a cup of coffee. Jesus. Now I’m in for the Jordan inquisition.

“Why the hell did you lie to that officer, Shiv? That was so stupid. Someone is trying to kill you. It is not a joke.” Her eyebrows creases and she bites her lip.

“Look. I had to lie for my mother’s sake, but I have the officer’s card. I’ll call him later and explain everything.” I grab her hand but she pulls away.

“You better. Maybe we can just transfer for the last semester. That shit with Grayson and now this. It really isn’t an ideal situation to return to anyway.”