Forbidden Ballad - Rock My World (11 page)

I feel a thrill of excitement run through me, and Leo takes my hand. His hand is warm and large and I feel desire course through my veins. As if reading my mind, Leo leans in towards my ear.

“It’s very difficult sitting next to you in the dark and not being able to take all your clothes off.”

I gasp.

“Just being honest,” he smirks.

Then we stop talking because the overture starts. From that moment on, I’m whisked away by the magic of live theatre. The show does not disappoint and I find myself hanging on the edge of every word, completely absorbed in the show. I almost forget that Leo is sitting next to me.

Almost.

When the lights go up for intermission, I look at Leo, my eyes wide with wonder.

“It’s amazing,” I gush.

Leo squeezes my hand. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

I want to talk about the show, but fans suddenly swarm Leo. He signs more autographs and takes more pictures, and soon the lights are blinking to tell us the show is about to start again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers just before the entr’acte music begins. I know its part of the package of being with Leo, but for some reason I feel more bothered by Kim now. I know that Leo has a history, and I’ve decided not to let it bother me.

I quickly forgot about everything again as the show starts. Before I know it, the show is over and I have tears in my eyes. I jump up with the audience, clapping loudly as the performers take their bows.

“Come on. Let’s sneak out of here before the crowds,” Leo murmurs, and I let him lead me from the theatre.

We hurry out before most of the audience has left, and Leo ushers me into the car.

“I’m sorry about all of that,” he says, and I don’t hurry to say that it’s okay.

“Yeah, it was a little intense.”

“What part? Kim? Or all the fans?”

“Both,” I answer honestly.

“If you can’t handle this, I’ll understand,” Leo says, but there’s a bit of an edge to his voice.

“I can handle it,” I say a little too harshly, “but give me some time to adjust.”

Leo nods, but his eyes are hard.

“Right. Just so you can tell me that you can’t handle this.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Sure.”

“It’s not like that at all,” I say. Leo’s scared. He’s afraid to be in a relationship and so he’s trying to push me away. “You’re not going to scare me away,” I say, but I feel the small seed of doubt.

“I’m not trying to scare you,” he says, “I’m just stating the obvious.”

The car pulls out into the late afternoon traffic.

I feel a swell of anger and annoyance. I don’t like Leo, let alone anyone, telling me what I’m feeling.

“What the hell is your problem?” I burst out. “Everything was fine, even considering that some old booty call of yours showed up. Why are you ruining this?”

I see pain cross Leo’s eyes and he buries his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice thick. “I’ll take you home.”

I nod and stare out the window.

The ride back to Quinn’s apartment feels far longer than it actually takes. I want to lock myself in my room and cry. I’m not sure how our date went from going so well to being a disaster. Leo’s whole mood had shifted.

When the car pulls outside Quinn’s building, I can’t get out fast enough.

“Thanks for the date,” I manage to say, before practically falling out of the car. I make it into the building before I hear Leo behind me.

“Carly! Wait!”

“Just go, Leo!” I hurry towards the elevator.

“Wait!” He grabs my hand and spins me around.“Carly, I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me. I was being a total asshole.”

I cross my arms. “Yes! You were!”

“Please. I’m sorry. I’m not used to this,” he says gesturing to the two of us. “I always seem to fuck up whatever good things come my way.” He pauses. “At least that’s what my parents like to say,” he mutters.

Whose parents say that?

I sigh. Leo told me he was new to this. I needed to remember that.

“You’re right. I know you’re new to this. Just give me time to adjust to your lifestyle. I’m
new
to that.”

Leo nods. “I know, I know. Fuck, Carly! I’m sorry!”

“It’s alright. I forgive you. It’s not that big of a deal.” He pulls me to his chest and kisses my forehead. “Can I take you upstairs?”

He stops.

“Wait! That doesn’t sound right. Can I escort you back to your apartment?”

“Yes, you may.”

I wrap my arms around his waist and let him take me back to the apartment.

Leo

I leave Carly at her apartment, my lips still burning from our kiss. That girl is such a tease.

In a good way.

I think of how sweet she tasted on my tongue, and the silky softness of her hair as I ran my fingers through it while kissing her.

What the fuck was I thinking when I snapped at her?

I don’t know what came over me, but suddenly I could tell that she was never going to stick around.

Or at least that’s what I told myself.

That bitch Kim had approached me, and then tons of people were asking for my autograph. But, I had been so turned on when Carly snapped at Kim. I barely even
remembered
Kim. She had just been some chick I had met at a party and screwed a few times. I remember thinking she was only screwing me to try to help further her career, but then again, I feel like most women who screw me only want a piece of me. They either want to better their own careers, or be able to go home and say they fucked Leo Nash of Cobalt.

It also probably didn’t help that I had gotten a call from my mother just before I picked up Carly. Of course, it was the usual shit, bragging about my brother and sister and asking when I was going to purse a real career. As if selling millions of records wasn’t an established career.

I snapped at my mom and asked when she and my father were going to come and see one of my shows. She laughed and said she and my father weren’t going to sit through that nonsense. The call had put me in a foul mood but I had refused to let it affect my date. Obviously, that hadn’t worked so well for me.

And then there was all the shit with Skyler going on. I had gone to the appropriate doctor’s office yesterday where they had taken some blood for the paternity test. I was already angry because I learned that Skyler was thirteen weeks pregnant, which meant that she wouldn’t get an abortion at that point. So, if this kid turns out to be mine, there was no chance of me getting out of taking care of it. It’s not that I mind the money; I certainly had plenty of it. But who was I to be a father figure? Would Skyler actually want me in the kid’s life? I would rather send money and let Skyler deal with it. All I would do is disappoint a kid; there wasn’t a paternal bone in my body.

The doctor’s office had told me that they should have the results within twenty-four hours, so I was on edge waiting for their call. And I had been so wrapped up in my own crap, that I had forgotten to ask Carly about our third and final date. We had a night off from rehearsal coming up, and I thought it would be nice to have an evening date. After that, the days leading up to the tour kicking off would be crazy as shit, and I knew that we probably wouldn’t have time to see each other.

And what the fuck would I say to Carly if Skyler was pregnant with my kid? I bury my head in my hands as the car zooms towards my building. That would ruin everything. But hiding it from Carly would seem even worse.

I get out at my building and head inside. I’ve been working on a couple of songs by myself, and I think that’s just what I need to clear my head. It figures that as soon as I have a good thing going in my life, a past fuck up of mine comes on in, ready to blow everything to shit. So typical Leo Nash, Classic Fuck Up.

I look around my penthouse. I’ve done well for myself and I’m proud of the life I created. I hate that there’s this pathetic part of me that still wants my parents to be proud. Why can’t I just not give a shit? Why won’t my mother just leave me alone instead of constantly calling to brag about my brother and sister? It’s like she believes that her calls will finally “kick” some sense into me. Like I’m going to wake up at thirty years old and decide to go to med school.

Fucking ridiculous.

I get out my guitar and start concentrating on the music. It’s soothing, and I don’t even realize that two hours have passed until I glance at my phone and see that I have to be at rehearsal.

I hurry to change, putting on a pair of worn jeans and a ratty t-shirt, before running my hand through my hair to muss it up. I make my way onto the street and walk quickly so I’m not late. Of course, they can’t start without me, but I’ve already taken enough shit from Mark lately.

I see Carly working with Amber at the piano and I hurry over to Jacie who is fiddling with her drums.

“Cutting it close,” she teases glancing at her watch.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“How are things with Little Miss Sex over there?”

I give Jacie a sharp look.

“More like Little Miss Won’t-Put-Out.” I regret the words instantly.

Jacie puts her drumsticks down and stares at me.

“Never mind,” I mumble, busying myself with the microphone.

“Are you telling me, that Carly hasn’t put out for you?” Jacie can’t hide the shock from her voice.

“Let it go,” I growl.

“You’re actually sticking with a girl who isn’t letting you get into your pants?”

“Yes, Jacie! What’s the big fucking deal?”

“The big fucking deal,” she breathes, “is that I’ve never known you to do that with
anyone.
You can’t even stick with a girl who
does
put out.”

“Yeah, well maybe I’m changing.”

Jacie gives me a wistful look. “You’re one lucky bastard,” she sighs. “What I wouldn’t give to have that girl holding out for me. It’s only going to be that much sweeter when she gives in.”

I try to ignore the comment, but I agree with Jacie. I know that this whole holding out thing is only going to make sex that much hotter with Carly.

That is if we get that far. And I’m hoping we do.

Rehearsal gets started, and on our break I go up to Carly.

“Hey,” she says, grinning when she sees me.

“Hey,” I say, squeezing her around the waist. “So with all my stupid shit today, I forgot to ask if you wanted to go out on Saturday night. It’s our one off night, and I thought we could do something in the evening.”

Carly’s face lights up. Christ, why does she do that when I come around? It makes me feel fucking amazing, but also makes me feel like I can never live up to what she deserves.

“That sounds great. I forgot we had one night off.”

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull out.

It’s a text from Skyler.

I try to mask my face so Carly doesn’t pick up on anything.

“I’m really sorry but I need to take care of something,” I say, my voice sounding strangely hollow.

Carly gives me a strange look.

“Everything okay?”

I nod, and leave the room. I head downstairs so I can call Skyler outside.

Her text only said the results were in and to call her.

“Hi Leo,” she answers.

“Well, what’s the verdict?” I ask tersely; I don’t have time for niceties.

“It came back positive. You are the father.”

I stand there on the street, my back pressed against the concrete building, holding the phone against my ear.

I try to process her words, but instead I can only focus on the clammy feeling that is coming over my hands.

“Leo? Are you still there?”

I sink to the ground.

“Are you sure?” My voice is too harsh, but I can’t help it.

“Of course, I’m sure.”

“Well, I want to see proof of the actual test.”

I can literally hear Skyler roll her eyes over the phone.

“Of course, Leo,” she says, her voice acidic. “I wouldn’t dream of not giving you proof. Mark will have it in the morning. I already asked them to forward the paperwork, I just thought I would do the courtesy of telling you first.”

I could tell that Skyler meant well but I was still in shock.

“Christ. I guess you’re keeping it?”

“Yes, Leo. I’m keeping it. You’re going to be a father.”

The words hang in the air between us and I try to make sense out of them.

“I can’t be a father,” I whisper.

“Yeah, well I guess you should have thought about that before you decided to fuck me without a condom,” she hisses.

“Screw you!” I shoot back. “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied and said you were on birth control.”

“I was on birth control!” she spat. “I missed a pill.”

“Well whose fucking fault was that?”

“Fuck you, Leo! This is just as much your fault as mine! Do you think I want to be knocked up now? Do you think I want a baby when I’m starting my career?”

“Then get an abortion!”

“I’m not doing that! It’s not right! I’m a grown woman. If I’m going to have sex with people, then I’m taking on the responsibility of possibly becoming a parent.”

“Well, that’s your choice! That’s not mine! I don’t have sex with the understanding that I might become a parent!”

“Fuck you!” she yells into the phone.

I punch the End button, too angry to even speak. It’s probably a good thing that I’m outside, or else I really would have lost my shit. I pace back and forth for a few minutes, before I realize that I have to get back inside.

I try to act as normal as possible as I walk inside, and I make my way directly to the band. They can sense something is up but I just focus on our music. I can feel Carly’s eyes on me too, but I ignore her.

At the end of the night, Carly comes up to me and rests her hand on my arm.

“Is everything alright?”

I shrug her off. “It’s fine. Sorry. It’s just been a long day.”

She nods and lets me go.

I head home but I can’t sleep. I’m up most of the night, walking around my place, staring at the city and wondering what I’m going to do now. My parents would have a fucking field day with this. Leo screwing up again. But this was the ultimate fuck up.

Mark calls me around nine am and tells me to come down to his office. Sure enough, there in black and white, are the documents, which confirm that I am the father.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” I whisper, sinking down in the chair.

“You need to provide parental support. Either you and Skyler come up with a number that she agrees to, and you get papers drawn up. Or you go into family court and they’ll take care of it.”

Fuck. Family court? I do not want to deal with that shit.

“My advice?” Mark asks quietly. “Come up with a decent number. Something Skyler would be foolish to turn down. Offer her that. Hopefully she agrees and you can get the paperwork done quietly. You don’t want to take this to court.” He pauses. “And offer her a lump sum now too. Tell her it’s to help with any co-pay costs, furniture, clothing, etc. Kids are expensive. She might be more likely to agree to something if you also offer to help her a bit during the pregnancy.”

“Shit!”

I gather up the papers and head for the exit.

“Thanks Mark,” I say, still in shock. I had been feeling keyed up before, but now I’m bone tired. I know that Mark is right. I should offer Skyler a good figure for monthly support and offer to help her during the pregnancy. I know she would try to hit me up for money as soon as she starts decorating a nursery and planning. I don’t have the time or energy to even think of a fair number.

Once I’m back home, I draw all the blinds in the bedroom, plunging the room into darkness.