Forbidden Broadway: Behind the Mylar Curtain (50 page)

Oh, ev'rybody. I feel so happy, I want you all to
experience my happiness with me. So sing along,
ev'rybody. The words are "Once in love with Tommy..."
Here we go!

[He happily leads the audience in a brief sing-along to
the first part of the song, then abruptly cuts them off.]

Wonderful! That's enough, I'll take over ...

Goodbye, I love you all for loving me!

[Blackout.]

"I Couldn't Hit That Note"

JULIE ANDREWS

[She sneakily signals to the pianist and, with a smug
and satisfied look on her face, modulates down a key.]

I'LL NEVER KNOW WHY FREDERICK LOEWE SAID,

[She modulates down again, quite
happily and triumphantly.]

[She modulates down yet again, and finishes in
exquisite delight.]

... NIGHT!

Topol: "If I Sing it Slower"

TOPOL

[Enters and looks up, as if speaking to God. ]

Dear Jerry Robbins, you made many, many roles in
Fiddler on the Roof. I realize of course, that I, Topol,
have the biggest role. But what would have been so
terrible if my part was just a little bit longer?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[He gets wildly involved in melismatic flourishes.[