Forbidden Flowers (13 page)

How often they populate the erotic reveries of women young enough to be their daughters. The ambiguous mystery they bring with them, of having slept in many beds, surrounds them with an almost mystic, golden haze of romance. Sexual but fatherly at the same time, the older man promises to guide us safely into our sexual life, initiating us with his great skill, forgiving us in his wisdom by joining us in the forbidden act.

Toby

I'm eighteen, white, single, and reasonably sexually liberated, surrounded by people who frown upon sex. Right now, I'm having an affair with a guy called Lou, who is twenty-six.

His divorce comes through in about one month. He's really fantastic!

My first fantasy was of a man who lived next door to us. At our summer cottage. I was fifteen at the time. He's about forty-five, with sexy gray hair (sophisticated-looking).

My parents have one cottage while I have my own.

At about one in the morning, a knock would come at the door and V., the man next door, who had kids older than I, would come in and immediately we'd be locked in a mad embrace. He was the best married man around.

Whispering gentle words, we'd fall on the bed and make love. He's gentle and I get horny thinking about him. We'll screw and talk until five A.M., when he returns home and leaves me with memories.

Another fantasy I have is having a huge dog (German shepherd) make love to me (doggie-style, of course). I would be held down, and the dog would be forced to sniff between my 86

legs and lick me out. Then he'd put his hard, moist penis inside me, and we'd rock on to heaven.

Just the thought of his big nose probing between my legs excites me.

Nothing really excites me as the thought of making love to two men. Both of whom are familiar to me.

One to perform cunnilingus on me while the other (after the first) can screw me.

While on a train, Lou and I made love on the seats of our car. It was dark, at night, so no one really saw us (I hope). The seats across from me were vacant, but there were people ahead and behind me. We played with each other until that crucial moment came. He pulled down his pants and put a blanket over him. I had on a dress with no pants, so I just hopped on his knee, and when he put his huge prick inside me, along with the movement of the train, it was heaven. It was good! I experienced my first real orgasm with him.

We fucked for about two hours, all the way to Boston, where we had an engagement to play the next day.

I'll often fantasize that again he's home, and I can screw him again and again and again.

Everytime I see a guy in tight pants … look out! I could just grab him and wow!!

You seem like a fantastic lady, and I hope we could meet sometime.

Penny

When I first became aware of my sexual fantasies, I was in my early teens. They used to threaten me sometimes, particularly the ones involving other women. I have not gotten to the point even today where I can, or want to discuss them with my husband, even though my best friend and I swap fantasies. Our latest mutual fantasy is telling our men that we're going to Memphis for a weekend shopping spree, but actually going there to get fucked. As you can see, I have come a long way with my fantasies, and can now enjoy them. In fact, I don't like to read
My Secret Garden
while I'm at work, because it gets 87

me too turned on, and that's not a state I want to be in at the office.

One of my favorite fantasies when I was a kid was walking along the superhighway near the school I went to. The people weren't in cars – I would imagine them moving together in small clumps or groups, but walking. As I moved into the left lane to pass a slow-moving family, I had to turn sideways. I passed close by a man with a hard-on. I smiled and said mm-mm-mm … as in mm-mm-good. He took my arm and tried to get me to go with him. I smiled sheepishly and answered that I really couldn't, because I was too young and inexperienced. He tried to convince me again, and I said, why not. We got out at the next exit. I had no pants on. We were sitting near the school. Someone (I think the hard-on man) was twiddling my clit. It felt good. Then I was in a room. I decided I had to get out. So I sheepishly asked him if I could please have my pants back. He gave them to me, and I hurriedly left the room. There was snow on the ground; then the man was after me. All of a sudden, I saw a train arriving. I yelled out, “Thank God for the Southern Pacific!”

That was the end of that particular one. One of the first fantasies I can remember in my whole life was a man lying down.

I opened his zipper – I thrust my hand inside his pants, but into pitch blackness. At that time, I had never seen a cock.

A couple of years ago, when I went through the phase I described of having fantasies about' other women, my sexual images were very exotic. I would imagine myself grabbing Miss America's tit, watching a pregnant lady undress. Many times, I have had dreams about being bare-chested in public, in which I usually tried to cover myself. Recently, I had celebrity week. One night, I was part of the
M.A.S.H.
unit, and Alan Alda was after me. The next night, Frank Langella (
Diary of a
Mad Housewife, Twelve Chairs
) was fucking me and said,

“The only problem is that I have a small dick. So you will have to flex your muscle.” I remember in my dream feeling my vagina tighten and loosen, tighten and loosen.

If you like, I can ask the friend I swap fantasies with to send you hers. I hope I have been of some help.

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Cecillia

I love you, I love you, I love you!!!!

Your book was sensational and quite a turn on at times – a turn off at others, but always devilishly good fun. I'd love very much to submit a fantasy or two of my own. I'm seventeen, and have fantasized (in one form or another) as long as I can remember.

My favorite (current favorite, that is) concerns this boy I went out with several times (but unfortunately never slept with). This was while I was still a virgin – but should I run into him again, am sure I could get things to happen!! The fantasy starts that we're in his bedroom, alone together, and I walk over to him and just start to kiss him quite passionately while I unzip his fly. I take his huge throbbing cock into my hands and start caressing, fondling it, etc. He slips his trembling hands up my sweater and starts to massage my breasts. He has to unzip my fly and slips his hand right on my dripping pussy and sticks a few fingers up my cunt.

We both undress each other (I stop while pulling off his pants to fellate him). He lays me on his bed, props my legs up and open, and his full red lips unite with my red cunt and
Zowie!
I pull his head into me, and that tongue of his licks the hell out of me. We have intercourse and both end up quite satisfied.

My next one concerns a girl friend of mine. I decide to sleep over her house, so we smoke some grass and are feeling rather free with one another. We decide to take a shower together, and that's when the fun begins. We offer to wash one another's backs and naturally that's not all we wash of one another. We get into her bedroom and first I towel her off, then she does me; she has me sit on the edge of her bed so that she can dry my feet and legs. She starts feeling my thighs and starts to kiss and lick them. She opens my legs wide and starts to lick, suck, and kiss my cunt. She works her way all over me, and we end up 69ing it all night.

I've told my lover these, and he enjoys them also.

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I too am an avid crotch- and fanny-watcher. I always enjoy visually undressing men and imagining screwing with them.

Can't wait for your next book. Much love to you.

Isabel

I just finished reading your book called
My Secret Garden
, and I liked it very much. I especially liked it because it made me feel better about myself. I think about sex a lot, and I fantasize about sex so much that I was beginning to think that I was perverted. It makes me feel better to know that other women fantasize about sex just as I do. I am going to be a sophomore in college this next school year, but I am home for the summer right now. I want to tell you about my fantasies, but I must keep this letter anonymous, because I live in a very small town, and I do not want anyone here to find out about me. As I said, I have a lot of sexual fantasies, and I would like to tell you about some of them. Although I have sexual fantasies almost anytime, I have my most developed sexual fantasies when I masturbate. I think I masturbate more than most girls. Almost every night before I go to sleep, I masturbate, and I often masturbate at other times during the day when I am aroused and can be alone for a while. Masturbation is the only kind of sexual activity I have ever had. Although people say I have a pretty face, I am overweight. Being overweight makes it difficult for me to get dates with boys, so I have had only a few dates with boys in my whole life. To be honest, I am a little afraid of boys. I am afraid I might be frigid if I ever did have sex with a boy. That's enough about me though. I had better tell you about my fantasies.

I think I am the female equivalent of a “peeping Tom.” In my sexual fantasies, I almost always imagine myself secretly watching other persons engaged in sexual activities. One of my favorites is to imagine an attractive boy undressing while I am secretly watching him. I have never seen a boy undressed, so I am not sure if what I imagine is completely accurate. I am aroused by the thought of seeing a boy's sexual organs, but the thought of actually touching them kind of scares me. They kind 90

of attract and repulse me at the same time. When I have this fantasy, I also like to imagine this boy masturbating himself after he undresses. I am not sure how boys really do masturbate themselves, but in my fantasies they do it several ways. My favorite right now is to imagine a boy lying facedown on ,his bed and moving his hips up and down so that his penis rubs against the sheets. I like to imagine that when he ejaculates he calls out my name as though he has been fantasizing about me.

Another of my fantasies is to imagine a couple having sex while I secretly watch. The couples are usually persons I know personally; when one of my girl friends gets married, I like to lie in my bed on her wedding night and try to imagine what she and her new husband may be doing. I imagine that I am there secretly watching when she sees her husband undress for the first time and when she undresses while her husband watches.

The thought of undressing in front of a boy scares me, but it arouses me too. After fantasizing about one of my girl friends and her new husband undressing, I imagine that I am secretly watching them when they have sex for the first time. Unless I know otherwise for sure, I imagine that she is a virgin. Her husband's penis is very large, and she cries out with pain when he pushes it into her for the first time. It hurts so much that she starts crying, but in a few minutes, it starts to feel good to her.

This, too, is a part of sex that scares me, but also arouses me.

Besides newlyweds, I fantasize about other couples I know too, both married and unmarried. I think about what they probably do when they have sex. I like to try and imagine all the things they might do when they are having sex together. In my mind, I try to picture them having sex. One of my favorite things is to imagine them having oral sex. Mostly, I try to picture whatever girl I am fantasizing about sucking on her partner's penis. The idea of doing that to a boy repulses me, and yet it fascinates me too. I sometimes imagine that he ejaculates in her mouth and that she swallows it. Thinking about that arouses me very much, but I do not think that I would ever really do that myself. I also like to picture in my mind couples masturbating each other, and I get very aroused when I try to picture the boy sucking on the girl's nipples.

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Most of my sexual fantasies are of the types I have already described, but I do have a few other kinds of sexual fantasies sometimes. Almost everytime I see a good-looking boy, I try to imagine what he looks like with his clothes off. When I do this, I kind of play a game.

I try to guess the size and shape of his sexual organs, although having never seen a boy with his clothes off, I am not too sure what his sexual organs ought to look like. Once I saw a boy whose pants were bulging as though his penis were erect, and it arouses me when I think about how he looked. I really wish that there were a magazine for women that showed photographs of good-looking men with all their clothes off.

Another fantasy that I have had a few times concerns two girls I know at college. They have an apartment together, and I found out from some of my friends that they are lesbians.

Sometimes when I masturbate, I try to imagine that I am secretly watching when these two girls are having sex together. It worries me, but I do get very aroused when I think about them having sex. Sometimes I get, aroused thinking about some very feminine and slim girl with all her clothes off, and occasionally I fantasize about secretly watching a girl like that undress and then masturbate. Sometimes I think that I would be less afraid of having sex with another girl than I would of having sex with a boy.

In almost all my sexual fantasies, I am just a secret' observer of other persons' sexual activities, but in a very' small number of fantasies, I do play other parts. Most of these fantasies have a similar format. I imagine that I am trapped and am forced to have sex with a good-looking boy. I will give you an example of one of these fantasies. I imagine that I and a good-looking boy, who otherwise would pay no attention to me, are snow-bound alone together in a mountain cabin together or some other place like that. We have food and logs for the fire in the fireplace, so we are comfortable. When night comes, we prepare to sleep in separate rooms, but when I begin' undressing, he bursts into my room. He already has all his clothes off, and he forcibly removes the rest of my clothing. When he sees me with my clothes off, he gets even more excited, and his penis becomes erect. It is very firm and very large, and I am scared 92

by the sight of it. He forces me down on my back on the bed and gets on top of me. Right away he starts trying to push his penis into me. It hurts so much that I start crying, but he just keeps pushing his penis into me. After several minutes of that, it begins to feel good. He keeps moving his penis in and out of me for about ten or fifteen minutes, and then he ejaculates.