Forbidden (Scandalous Sirens) (16 page)

His body ached to plunge into her, to taste her, to have her whole and complete, to watch her pleasure build and know it was him giving her that pleasure.

He gritted his teeth together and growled, trying to drive out the frustration.

He should stay away. Go away. Go back to London, to the parties, the women, the gambling…

He pushed himself from the wall with a compulsive shove and strode down the passageway, intending to find the brandy decanter in the dining room. As he walked he smashed his fist into his other hand, because he knew he would not be able to stay away from her at all.

Chapter Ten

Having spent the majority of the morning pacing the confines of her room, Elisa knew she could no longer keep from going downstairs. If she did not emerge from her room in the next little while, questions would be asked.

With a hand on the doorknob she took a steadying breath. She told herself she could face Vaughn and act as though nothing had happened last night. She could forget the way his hard body had pressed against her, the feel of his lips against her flesh, the promise in his touch. How close they’d come to making love…and in the same room as Rufus…

What would have happened had Rufus woken? An image of him shooting the horse point-blank flashed before her. She knew he would not hesitate to do the same to her—and Vaughn.
 
The certainty had driven her to acquire a hunting knife from the head stableman, lying about the need for adequate protection when out riding.
 
The knife now rested under her pillows, where it would be close at hand should she ever need it.

Nodding at the servants she passed, Elisa made her way down the stairs.

“Elisa, is that you?”

She jumped as Rufus’ voice reached her from the drawing room. He was up early for once and now she must face him. Folding her trembling hands before her, she walked into the room and forced a smile.

Rufus sat in the Queen Anne chair he always favored when he took time for a libation. A tall glass was filled with his favorite port. He brought it to his lips, all the while watching her over the rim.

It was not yet noon and already he was drinking. It was not a good sign.

He motioned to a nearby chair with his free hand. “Come and sit with me.”

Taking a seat on the settee, she folded her hands in her lap and forced a smile.

His gaze shifted to the low bodice of her gown. It was one of the styles he had picked out and a triumphant gleam came into his eye. “I apologize for falling asleep so early last evening,” he said. “I wanted us to spend the night together.”

Elisa sat up straighter, wondering if she’d heard right. She had no wish to become intimate with him now. “I was tired as well last night. I haven’t been feeling well lately,” she remarked, while brushing imaginary lint from her skirts.

“Not feeling well? You were well enough to go riding the other day.”

She heard the accusation in his voice and shifted in her seat.

His brows furrowed into a frown. “Then…what ails you?”

An insane urge to giggle came upon her. What ailed her? If only she could answer truthfully—your son!

Last night, she had surrendered utterly and completely. Only some whim of Vaughn’s had saved her from physically betraying her future husband. In her heart she was already guilty, but if she could somehow retreat from this position, then she might still save herself.

In the tiny moment while Rufus sipped his port, awaiting her answer, she recalled the reason why she must not give in to Vaughn: her son Raymond. This man sitting in front of her had given her the only hope of ever having Raymond back in her life. He’d been paying independent investigators to search for her son.

If she were to cuckold him then Raymond would be utterly lost to her. She could not give in. It was as simple as that.

On the odd occasion where he was agreeable enough to share details on the progress the agents were making, he would explain they were working tirelessly, but the family who originally received the caring of the boy had passed him on and the trail was quite cold and difficult to follow. However, he would assure her with a pat to her knee, the agents he employed had excellent reputations and he would say, “Be patient, dear.”

And so she had continued to be patient.

She studied Rufus now. Was he in the frame of mind to indulge her yet again on the subject? His mention of sharing the night with her and the marketing expedition yesterday boded well, for they hinted that some of his good humor might be returning. When Rufus had first come into her life she had thought he held a genuine fondness for her, hidden deep where no one could spot his weakness. Since Vaughn had arrived, that doting manner had completely disappeared.

Elisa felt her chest tighten with a rush of fear mixed with astonishment, as she considered this aspect of matters at Farleigh Hall. The shooting of the horse, the snarling belligerence; it was almost like a dog barring its teeth. Scaring off competitors.

Guarding its bone.

Had she underestimated the degree of feeling Rufus held for her? His courtship had been as rough as his manners, but even though he had not arrived bearing baubles and flowers, he had brought with him a greater gift that won him her hand: the promise to find Raymond.

She cleared her throat. “What ails me is the absence of my son. I…miss Raymond. I desperately want to see my little boy again.”

He looked surprised and put his drink down on a nearby table and sat back in the chair, his paunch stressing the buttons on his waistcoat. “I have men working on it as we speak. You know that if I heard anything, I would tell you.”

Tears welled in Elisa’s eyes. Her whole world seemed hopeless at the moment. The only thing that would set it right would be Raymond. His presence would save her from depravity, she knew.

“If you could only give me a little more encouragement,” she murmured, looking down at her lap. “I would feel better…stronger, if only I knew it would not be much longer to wait.”

It was as close as she dared come to speaking the truth aloud. If he could show her a possible end to the waiting, then she would find the strength to hold out against Vaughn’s enticing ways.

Rufus’ eyes narrowed and a shrewd gleam came into them. “Is that so?” he remarked casually.

Her heart beat a little harder. Had he guessed her thoughts?

“If it will make you happy, I will visit with my London solicitor. The agents report to him and in truth, it has been a week or so since I inquired as to their progress. I will get a new report for you. How would that be?”

It was said with the casualness of a man discussing a report on fatted calves for market. But he had made the offer. It was a victory of sorts.

“I appreciate anything you can do,” she told him truthfully. “I feel such a void without him.”

Rufus flinched as though struck. “Do you doubt I could give you a good life?”

“That was not my meaning,” she replied, digging her nails into her palms. “I am his mother and I need him, just as I’m certain he needs me.”

“We will see what we can do.” Rufus lifted the bell and rang it, signaling the end of the discussion.

Joshua stepped inside the room a moment later. “The carriage is ready, my lord.”

“You are going somewhere?” Elisa asked, keeping the hope from her voice.

Rufus stood and with a smile, replied, “We’re going to the Munroe’s soiree.” His tone indicated that he was stating the obvious.

Elisa’s heart pounded. “But…that isn’t until tomorrow evening.”

“We were invited to stay the night, remember?”

Elisa flinched at the tone of his voice. Of course she could not remember. She’d not had a chance to read the invitation before Rufus had all but snatched it out of her hand.

Rufus extended his arm. “Come, my dear. We don’t want to keep them waiting.”

It was too soon. She wasn’t prepared.

“My clothes…a gown…”

“All packed, my dear. I had Marianne see to it yesterday. The ball gown was delivered early this morning, just in time.”

Her heart began to beat hard and fear touched her. She had felt all along that Rufus was planning something. Now her guess was confirmed, but she still did not know what he planned.

She touched the low bodice of her gown. “I must change first,” she began. Although the gown was not particularly revealing, for her first public appearance in many years, she knew she must be the absolute model of propriety.

“No, there is no time,” Rufus told her. “What is it, woman? Do you seek to make us arrive late? I won’t have you make a fool of me, you know.”

She swallowed. “Yes, Rufus.” She took his offered arm and let him lead her out to the carriage.

Where was Vaughn? She could not help but wish he was here in the carriage with her, for she knew he would stand between her and whatever the consequences of Rufus’ scheming.

* * * * *

That night was torturous.

To begin her woes, she and Rufus were placed in connecting chambers, as though they were already husband and wife. She wished he were not so close.

One other couple had arrived that night beside themselves and it appeared no more were expected. Elisa hid her dismay when this fact was made clear to her by the number of places at the dining table. It meant Vaughn would not be nearby—she would have to deal with Rufus and his schemes all by herself.

In addition, the couple who had arrived just that afternoon were the Duke and Duchess of Wessex. The Duchess was Lady Cynthia Crowley and until her marriage she had lived in the same county as Elisa’s family.

Elisa recognized the redheaded woman with a sinking heart. There was little chance Cynthia did not know about Elisa’s tarnished past. Elisa’s own family had disowned her after her husband’s death and would have taken great pains to let the district know they had no association with her erring ways.

Cynthia Crowley nodded her head when the introductions were made, her face neutral. But then she started and stared at Elisa with a measuring eye.

The Duke had been delightful. He had obviously married late in life, for he was much older than his wife, quite silver-haired and with a dashing monocle. He treated Elisa with an old-fashioned courtliness that took the edge off Cynthia’s disdain.

But partway through the pre-dinner drinks, Elisa saw the duchess lean towards her husband and whisper behind her fan. The Duke’s monocle dropped and he fumbled to return it to his eye as he tried to examine Elisa without appearing to stare.

Elisa’s heart sank slowly lower and lower as throughout the meal the Duke and duchess snubbed her repeatedly—failing to hear her requests for condiments to be passed to her and when their gaze wandered around the room, they would pass over her like she was not there.

Elisa sat wringing her napkin under the table, fighting tears. Because their station in life was higher than Elisa’s, it was her place to leave the room and the party, as they had made it clear she was not welcome there. But she could not leave unless Rufus made their excuses and he seemed to be completely oblivious to the unspoken disapproval settling around the table.

Caroline appeared to feel the tension, but as she had no idea about Elisa’s past, she could not possibly understand its source. She tried to lighten the atmosphere with gay chatter, with her husband William supporting her.

Rufus was not a conversationalist at all. He ate hungrily and steadily, with a positively cheerful air. If Elisa had been calmer, she would have said he was enjoying her discomfort. But that notion was a product of her upset.

She was never more grateful for a meal to come to an end as she was when William stood, proposing brandy and cigars in the library for the gentlemen and the Duke agreed with alacrity.

That was the moment Elisa had excused herself and went immediately to her room.

She lay tossing and turning in her strange and uncomfortable bed, reacquainting herself over and over again with the fact of her blighted past. It was not going to go away. Time would not obliterate her reputation, however false it was. She could only hope upon the morrow that she could find the company of guests who were ignorant of the rumors—people who saw beyond the whispers and the falsehoods.

Abruptly, she yearned for Vaughn’s company.

She curled up in the bed, hugging herself, wishing mightily he would appear suddenly and take her in his arms. He would provide the comfort she longed for…