Forced: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance (The Blackthorn Brothers Book 1) (17 page)

By the time we got back to Ash’s home, I was too exhausted to go anywhere, let alone try to fight Ash on the matter. But as he scooped me up into his arms and carried me to his bed, I wondered once more how I could possibly go through with marrying him when I knew he’d hate me once he found out the truth. And that more than anything would kill me, since I could no longer deny, even to myself, that I truly loved him.

Yet my father had upped the ante to get me to walk down the aisle, knowing I’d do anything to protect Ash. And that included marrying him, even if he’d hate me if he ever found out that I knew what my father had done and hadn’t said anything about it.

He lay me down on the bed, and slowly stripped me naked. And as late as it was, I was too exhausted to protest, already struggling to keep my eyes open. I fought falling asleep as his naked body sidled up against mine, my head resting on his chest as my mind drifted into a dizzy spiral of physical and emotional exhaustion. And maybe if I’d been more awake, I’d have kept my mouth shut. But I didn’t…the words slipping past my lips before I could give them a second thought. “My father…it’s all his fault, Ash.”

“I know, little bird.” He held me tightly to him, engulfing me in his strong arms, as I fought back my tears. “But I swear, I’ll make you happy, even though you’re only here because your father’s forcing you to be here.”

He didn’t understand…and I knew he wouldn’t, vague as I’d been. But I couldn’t bring myself to say any more, knowing that with my father’s new threat, I couldn’t back out of this wedding. And that meant that there was no fighting what was between us, no fighting the pull of attraction nor the love I had in my heart for him. And frankly, I was tired of trying to push him away, tired of hating him as a way to keep him from finding out my secrets, from letting him into my life.

And yet, there was no way for me to let go of my guilt. No way to let go of my past. No way to let go of what my father had done. Because there was no going back in time to fix things.

No going back to right our wrongs
.

Come morning, I felt no less miserable, though I was resigned to the fact that I’d be getting married in just two days. What option did I have when my father was threatening Ash and his family? And though it’d be tempting to think that my dad wouldn’t go through with it, it wasn’t a risk I could take, since it’d be just like him to do something stupid simply to prove a point.

“I need to get a dress today.” Sitting at the breakfast bar, I pushed my eggs around my plate, too upset to eat.

“Wren…you won’t even look at me.” Shifting in his seat to face me, Ash tilted my chin up, so I’d be forced to look him in the eyes. “Talk to me, love.”

I pulled free of his touch, knowing it’d only weaken my defenses. “There’s nothing to talk about. We’re getting married. Isn’t that what you want?”

“What I want is for you to be happy—and for you to tell me what the fuck’s going on.” He was all but vibrating with tension. But instead of putting his fist through a wall or pounding it on the counter hard enough to have the plates jumping, he instead pulled me into his arms with all the care in the world, and held me tightly to him as I slumped against him. “I love you, Wren…I always have and I always will, and seeing you like this is killing me.”

It wasn’t fair to leave him constantly worrying about me, when there was nothing to be done for any of it. I had to marry him, and there was no point in putting it off because of what he’d do when he found out the truth. “I love you too.”

What else could I say?

“Then tell me what I can do to make you happy. I thought we were getting somewhere. And then you just ran—and I don’t get it, because it felt like a complete turnaround in mere hours. I thought we were good.” The confusion in his voice was completely understandable. But it was the hurt there that had me pushing my problems aside.

“We’re good, Ash. I’m sorry I let things get to me.” I managed a smile, knowing he’d keep digging if he thought there was something wrong. “It’s just that getting married is a big step. But…you make me happy. And I want to get married.”

Especially if I had any hope of keeping Ash and his family from harm.

With his brow furrowed, his gaze wandered over my face, taking me in with eyes far too intelligent. “I don’t believe you, little bird. And I wish I had the time to figure out what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours. But…unfortunately, I don’t. So we’ll get married and I’ll do everything I can to help you chase your demons away.”

I pressed my lips to his, swallowing down the lump in my throat. He was such a good man…and the truth was, I didn’t deserve him. Not after what my father had done. “You’re too good to me.”

“I’m treating you the way you deserve to be treated.” He cupped my face in his hands, so I couldn’t help but turn in to his touch as my eyes slipped shut. “I know you have your reservations about this union, but I swear, I’ll do right by you, Wren. I’ll keep saying the words and I’ll show you every way I can, until you start to believe me and you’re finally able to leave your past behind.”

I was desperate to believe him, but how could I when he didn’t have all the facts? Yet I had no option but to marry him, and hope he never found out about who was really behind his father’s death.

“Everything will be okay, right?” I hated the desperation in my words, my need for assurances.

“I’ll make sure of it, love.” He got to his feet, and pulled me up and into his arms. “Now, come on…let’s go get you a pretty white dress. And I promise, I won’t peek.”

I wanted to protest, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good. And if I was being honest with myself, I wanted him close, needed to make the most of what time we had together, so that when he found out the truth, maybe…just maybe, he’d love me enough to look past my father’s sins. And if not, then at the very least, I’d have this time with him…memories to see me through my lonely nights…to know that at least I’d been loved, albeit for a short while.

With Ash waiting patiently for me as I tried on dresses, I was relieved that it didn’t take me long to find one that was just perfect—a beautiful bohemian sheath of flowing lace with a deep V and a plunging back.

But as I stood there in front of the mirror, it truly sunk in, making my heart hammer out of control.

I was getting married to Ash Blackthorn
.
The man I loved with my whole heart, and the man I’d betrayed.

I didn’t know what had happened to Wren to make her take off and try to cancel the wedding, though I was fucking relieved that things seemed to have settled between us. She now had a wedding dress—which I’d yet to see—and we were a day away from the big day. All we had to do now is actually make it down the aisle, and get married.

Given how rushed everything was, I told my family that we’d skip the rehearsal dinner and any bachelor or bachelorette parties they may have been thinking of throwing us. The last thing I needed was for Wren to panic, and typical pre-wedding activities would definitely do that. No…best to just get her down the aisle on the day.

“You know…it’s supposed to be bad luck for you to see me on the day of the wedding, and if I stay here, then we’ll wake up together. And it’s not like we don’t already have the odds stacked against us.” She bit her bottom lip, her eyes darkening with worry.

Pulling her into my arms, I brushed her hair from her eyes, and then stole a lingering kiss. “It’ll be fine, love. And I promise I’ll get out of here first thing in the morning so that you have time to get ready.”

“I got in touch with my good friend, Lizzie, and she should be able to make it tomorrow, which means I’ll actually have a maid of honor.” This time when she smiled, it was genuine, her eyes lighting up from within, and I swear, there was no sight more beautiful. “Is it okay if I have her swing by here to help me get ready?”

“Yeah…of course. This is your home now as much as it is mine. I want you to feel comfortable here, so treat it like it’s your own—because it is, love.” Anything to make her feel more settled. “And my mom’s taken care of the flowers, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

If this were a typical wedding, there’d be a million little details to iron out. And yet, at this point, all that mattered was marrying Wren. It didn’t matter if things weren’t perfect, as long as she became my wife, and I could make her happy.

“Come on. It’s our last night being single, and I have plans for you.” I stole one more kiss, and then grabbing her hand, I led her to our bedroom. “Wear the sexiest thing you’ve got that won’t get you arrested in public.”

“Where are we going? Because it doesn’t sound like we’re going out to dinner.” She was looking both concerned and excited, though I hoped that once we got there, she’d enjoy herself.

We had been to a few BDSM bars before and she’d enjoyed herself, but now that I knew about her past I wasn’t quite sure how good an idea it was. Even though I’d originally been thinking that this would be a fun surprise, I was now second-guessing myself. “I was thinking you might want to go back to Succubus
.
I know it’s been awhile…”

“That could be fun. But if you’re doing it only for me…I guess I’m just not sure.” She gave me a shrug, looking far too apologetic.

“Hey…” I pulled her into my arms as I sat down on the edge of the bed so she could look me in the eyes with little difficulty, since I needed her to know that this didn’t matter and I didn’t want her getting upset about it. “Forget about it. Honestly, there are plenty of other things I’d rather do. As long as I’m with you, nothing else matters.”

She bit her bottom lip, looking unsure. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” And then I had an idea. “Stay here…I think I’ve just figured out the perfect evening.”

It was something I had remembered her saying ages ago. A bit of a childhood she’d never gotten to experience. And she might think I was crazy for thinking of it, but it was worth a shot, especially if it made her happy.

It didn’t take me long to get everything together, and in the end, it turned out to be the perfect night for it. “Just give me fifteen minutes to get everything ready, and then I’ll come and get you and Sammie.”

Thank fuck I had the ideal yard for this sort of excursion—and thanks to my father, I had more than enough experience setting things up. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t need to be. And given such short notice, this was the perfect way to spend the evening, if not the whole night.

Once I’d finished setting up, I headed back inside and took Wren by the hand, leading her to the backyard. “Hope you weren’t peeking.”

“Would it be naughty if I did?” Her sultry smile had me wanting to detour to the bedroom, though I stayed the course.

“You’re so very bad, Wren. But that’ll have to wait until later. Right now, we have something else to do that’s far more important.” With Sammie following along, I led Wren out into the backyard, loving her gasp of surprise and the smile that jumped to her lips as she leapt into my arms and hugged me.

“
Camping
. I can’t believe you remembered.” She covered my face in kisses, and I swore, I couldn’t remember her ever being this happy. “Can we make s’mores?”

“Let me see what I can dig up.” I left her at the robust fire I already had going in the fire pit, and went to rummage through my kitchen cabinets. And though the ingredients I found wouldn’t work for traditional s’mores, they would do for now. “Amazingly enough, we had marshmallows and some sort of chocolate, but I only have chocolate chip cookies.”

“Even better.” Her smile and enthusiasm were contagious, and I loved that I could do this for her, even though it was a small gesture.

“First you need to find a stick to roast your marshmallow.” I grabbed the lantern and led her toward the woods that surrounded my property. “Make sure it’s long enough, so that you don’t get burned if the flames shift on the wind.”

“How’s this?” She handed over a stick for inspection, her smile beaming.

It was a reminder of just how normal a life my parents had tried to give me and my brothers, despite everything else. But Wren…she’d never had that, for whatever reason. And even worse, she’d had her innocence stolen from her, since at the age of fourteen, I highly doubted she’d been with anyone yet.

I cupped the back of her neck and pulled her to me, kissing her temple as I handed her back her stick. “It’s perfect. Just do what you can to peel off the bark at the very tip of your stick.”

It didn’t take me long to find one of my own, and then we were snuggling by the fire as we toasted our marshmallows, and made s’mores. I got her some chocolate and cookies, and helped her get her marshmallow off her stick.

She gently squeezed the cookies together, the marshmallow melting the chocolate and oozing out as she took a bite, her smile wider than I’d ever seen it before. “This is so good, Ash. I can’t believe I’ve gone all these years and never tried this before.”

I couldn’t help but kiss her sweet, sticky lips as she smiled. “We can do this every night, if you want.”

“I think I’d like that.”