Foreign Affairs (58 page)

‘So have you,’ he said stoutly. Their eyes met. He put his arms around her and kissed her. Gently at first but then with an increasing urgency. She wanted to respond but
couldn’t. A feeling of agitation and panic overtook her and Ronan, sensing her tension, drew away from her.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked. ‘Don’t you want to kiss me?’

Jennifer buried her face in his shoulder. ‘Yes Ro, of course I do,’ she said miserably.

‘But . . . ?’ he probed.

‘Ronan, I don’t want to go all the way. I’d be dead scared of getting pregnant, and I’d feel a bit guilty . . . you know . . . about having sex before marriage and all
that,’ she blurted out.

‘Jenny, hey Jen, it’s all right. Whatever you want is fine with me,’ Ronan assured her. Jennifer burst into tears.

‘I’m sorry, Ronan, I know everyone’s doing it these days and that I’m just old-fashioned. I’d love to be like everyone else and have the nerve to do it. And now I
feel a real failure. I’m nearly nineteen and I’m still a virgin. Charlotte’s slept with loads of fellas. Paula’s slept with two. I’m sure Brenda slept with Eddie.
There’s just me and Beth left. The last of the red-hot virgins,’ she said shamefaced.

‘Well there’s me as well,’ she heard Ronan say. ‘And I’m older than you.’ Jennifer stared at him.

‘You’ve never done it? After all this time living in America, with all those liberated women I’m always reading about in
Cosmo
?’ She was astonished.

Ronan laughed and sat down on her bed drawing her down beside him. ‘Girls aren’t the only ones who feel scared and guilty, you know. Of course I get as horny as hell. Sure,
I’ve had the opportunity. My father once told me if I denied a woman before marriage I was responsible for consigning her soul to eternal damnation as well as my own.’ Ronan scowled.
‘Jenny, I’m an adult. I’ve put myself through college and looked after myself in America but I sometimes still have to try and convince myself that my father’s word is not
law any more and I can do as I please.’ He gave a rueful smile. ‘I could cope with consigning my own soul to eternal damnation, but I sure couldn’t cope with sending
yours.’

‘Oh, Ronan, that’s horrible!’ Jennifer protested. ‘Isn’t it awful that we’ve been brought up to feel such guilt about sex? I wish I could be different. I wish
I could be like Paula.’

‘I’m glad you’re not like Paula. You’re perfect just the way you are.’ Ronan gave her a hug.

‘What a pair we are,’ she said wryly.

‘We’re a perfect pair,’ Ronan declared, and this time Jennifer kissed him. She felt safe within the circle of his arms, the relief of being able to explain to him exactly how
she felt had eased all her agitation and tension.

They spent fourteen carefree happy days together. Because it was not yet high season, her boss kindly allowed her to take time off and they hired a car and went exploring Andalucia and Granada.
They stayed in little guest houses and enjoyed very much being a couple again. Tentatively at first, and then with growing confidence and delight, they learned ways of giving each other pleasure
without taking that final step. Both of them longed to but couldn’t because it would have been ruined by guilt. Because they understood each other, it made it easier and in some ways it
strengthened their relationship.

The day before Ronan was due to leave, Paula phoned Jennifer to announce that she was coming to Spain the minute her exams were over. ‘I’ve wonderful news for you,’ she bubbled
across the crackling telephone lines. ‘There’s a chance of a great job for the two of us next year. It will suit us down to the ground and we’ll be together. I’ll tell you
all when I get there. Oh Jenny, I can’t wait.’ Paula sounded terribly excited.

‘What is it? Tell me,’ Jennifer demanded.

‘I’m going to be cut off, Jenny. I’ll be there soon. You’ll find out all then. Bye.’ Jennifer heard the click and then the line went dead.

‘What’s up?’ Ronan asked from the sofa, where he was sprawled reading the massive novel
Exodus
. A mighty thunderstorm raged outside and rain was bucketing down in
sheets. They hadn’t been saying much to each other. Both of them dreaded the moment of parting.

‘That was Paula,’ Jennifer said excitedly. ‘She’s coming here after her exams. She says she’s got two jobs lined up for us that will suit us down to the ground.
Then she was cut off.’

‘Ring her back,’ he suggested.

Jennifer shook her head. ‘You know Paula, always the mystery woman. It will keep, whatever it is. She won’t tell me anyway over the phone. So there’s no point in me trying to
worm it out of her. I wonder what it is though,’ she pondered. ‘Maybe it’s something to do with the hotel in St Margaret’s Bay. I don’t know if I want to work in a
hotel.’ She made a face.

‘Don’t let Paula talk you into doing anything you don’t want to do,’ Ronan warned.

‘As if I would,’ Jennifer exclaimed indignantly.

‘Paula’s a very determined girl when she gets an idea into her head,’ Ronan said.

‘So am I.’

‘I know that, Jenny, it’s just you’re very soft-hearted and she winds you around her little finger sometimes,’ Ronan said firmly.

‘She’s a good friend,’ Jennifer was defensive, not sure if Ronan was implying some sort of criticism of Paula.

‘I know, and so is Beth.’ Ronan closed his book and stood up to put his arms around her. ‘You’re going to be faced with a bit of a dilemma because of them sometime in the
future,’ he said seriously.

‘Why?’ Jennifer was mystified.

‘Actually,’ he teased, ‘you’re going to be in a very tough situation. Brenda’s got to be considered as well, after all she is your only sister.’

‘What are you wittering on about, Ronan?’ She gave him a dig in the ribs.

‘Bridesmaids,’ he said airily. ‘Which of them are you going to choose to be your chief bridesmaid? Or do you want to elope?’

Jennifer stared at her boyfriend, gobsmacked.

‘Well?’ Ronan smiled at her and took her hand in his. ‘If there’s going to be a bridesmaid, there’s got to be a bride. Jenny, will you marry me?’

Chapter Fifty-One

‘Oh, Ronan.’ Jennifer could hardly speak.

‘Jenny, please!’ Ronan’s air of confidence disappeared. ‘Don’t keep me in suspense. Will you marry me? I love you. I knew the minute I saw you that day in the
Botanic Gardens that you were special. I couldn’t imagine being with any other girl for the rest of my life. I can’t face going back to America until I know. I’ve been trying to
pluck up courage all day to ask you.’

‘Yes, yes, yessss.’ Jennifer was ecstatic. ‘Oh Ronan, I’m so excited.’

‘Me too.’ Her new fiancé grinned boyishly as he swept her off her feet and kissed her soundly.

Later, when their ardour and excitement had cooled a little and it had stopped thundering and raining, they walked along the damp beach and made plans. They decided they would wait until
Jennifer’s twenty-first birthday to announce the engagement. Ronan would be home from America by then and would hopefully have a job. He would speak to her father then. Until then, their
engagement would remain a secret. Their special secret. They spent the night talking, making plans for their wonderful future.

They were both exhausted and bleary-eyed when they got up at the crack of dawn to get a taxi to the bus terminus. Ronan was flying home to Dublin via London. He wanted to see his sister Rachel
before he flew back to America. His father wanted nothing to do with him so there was no point in going to Rathbarry. Rachel and he had arranged to meet in Dublin.

They were very subdued on the journey. Saying nothing, just holding hands tightly.

‘At least you’ve got Paula and her news to look forward to,’ Ronan comforted her as the terminus came into sight.

‘I’m going to miss you so much. I wish we could get married today.’ Jennifer’s voice wobbled.

‘Come on now, Jenny. I need a job so I can provide for you when we get married and I won’t be in a position to do that for a few years,’ Ronan said earnestly.

‘And I thought I was old-fashioned,’ she teased, squeezing his hand as the taxi drew to a halt.

‘I love you,’ she whispered.

‘I love you too,’ he echoed, holding her tightly.

‘Keep writing,’ he said, as he pulled away from her reluctantly.

Jennifer nodded, unable to speak. This was the second time they’d had to say goodbye. This time was infinitely harder. She felt as if her heart was being stung by a million nettles as she
watched Ronan walk away from her. How could she wait until she was twenty-one before they were engaged? She wanted to be with him now. She’d suggested going to America with him, but he said
no. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her, he explained. But her parents would not be happy about it and he didn’t want their marriage to be blighted by bad feeling. Jennifer knew he
was right. Both their parents were very traditional. But it didn’t stop her from wishing that she could go and be with him. He gave a final wave and was gone from sight. She cried the whole
way home.

That night was lonely without his reassuring presence on the camp bed beside her and she tossed and turned trying to sleep. She relived his proposal and smiled. Going on about bridesmaids like
that. He was right too, she was going to have a dilemma about her bridesmaids. Brenda would definitely want to be chief bridesmaid, feeling it was her right because she was sister of the bride.
Paula wouldn’t want to play second fiddle. Beth, bless her heart, wouldn’t give a toss. The thought of being Ronan’s wife made her exquisitely happy. She’d known exactly
what he meant when he’d told her she was special and that he’d known from the first moment. So had she. Even though she’d met some nice blokes here in Spain, none of them compared
with Ronan. Paula would probably think she was dull and boring but one man was more than enough for Jennifer as long as that man was Ronan.

She was in for some exciting times ahead, she reflected, burrowing down under the flimsy sheet. What with choosing a chief bridesmaid and waiting to hear how her parents would react to news of
her engagement. Not to talk of Ronan’s father and his sister. Imagine having William Stapleton for a father-in-law? She grimaced in the dark.

Well if she was inheriting Mr Stapleton, Ronan would be inheriting Grandpa Myles. On the whole, she felt Ronan was getting the better bargain. Grandpa Myles liked Ronan. No doubt he’d be
pleased for her when he heard her news. Her mother had written once that the old man lived in constant fear of Jennifer coming home with a ‘giggleeo’ as he called it. Jennifer chuckled.
No fear of that. She caressed the gold cross and chain that hung around her neck. Ronan had bought it for her as an engagement present. It made her feel close to him. She yawned. She was dead
tired. It had been an exciting forty-eight hours. Paula’s phone call and a proposal within minutes of each other. What was this new job going to entail? Would she be interested? Ronan’s
words came back to her.

‘Don’t let Paula talk you into anything.’ She wouldn’t be, she decided sleepily. She’d hear what Paula had to say and she’d make up her own mind. Then
she’d write to Ronan and tell him all about it. Whatever Paula’s news was, it couldn’t be half as exciting as hers. Imagine being almost engaged to Ronan Stapleton. In a few
years’ time her name would be Jennifer Stapleton. She said it aloud a few times just to test it out. It sounded nice. She was sure her parents would be glad for her. They liked Ronan very
much. He’d be in Dublin with his sister Rachel by now. Lucky Rachel, Jennifer thought enviously. Not, she thought tiredly, that Rachel really was that lucky. From what Ronan had said about
her, she had a dreadful time with that old tyrant of a father of hers. When Jennifer and Ronan had a house of their own, Rachel could come and live with them for a while if she wanted. It would get
her away from her father and help her stand on her own two feet.

She’d write to Ronan and suggest it. It would please him, Jennifer thought as her eyelids drooped.

Chapter Fifty-Two

It was scorching, Paula’s flight was delayed and Jennifer sat flicking through a magazine in the arrivals hall in Malaga Airport. She was dying to see her friend. She
couldn’t wait to tell Paula about Ronan’s proposal. It was very hard keeping it to herself. She was so happy she longed to tell everyone. She’d only tell Paula, Jennifer promised
herself. The family would find out on her twenty-first.

Paula, when she finally emerged through customs, looked stunning. She was wearing white jeans, a white T-shirt and dark glasses. She carried a large black holdall type bag on her shoulder that
was emblazoned with the words
Saint Tropez
. She looked like a film star. Jennifer grinned, some things never changed.

Paula had to look twice before she recognized Jennifer. ‘My God,’ she breathed. ‘Look at you! Look at the tan. You’re glowing, Jenny. You look
fantastic
.’

Jennifer laughed. ‘I’ve loads to tell you.’

‘Me too. Oh, Jenny, it’s great to see you. I’ve loads to tell you, too,’ Paula enthused. They hugged delightedly.

‘Come on, let’s get out of here, I’ve taken the day off.’ Jennifer led the way out of the airport and hailed a taxi.

Paula gazed out the window in delight. ‘The skies are so blue. It’s lashing at home. Can we go to the beach?’ she asked eagerly.

‘Don’t you want something to eat first?’ Jennifer asked.

‘No, no, I’m too excited. I just want to feel that sun scorching me. I’m so white and you’re so brown,’ she added enviously. ‘I can’t believe I’m
here. I can’t believe I’m not going to work in St Margaret’s Bay for the summer. I can’t believe I’m finished studying. I can’t believe I’m
free
,’ she exclaimed exuberantly. ‘It’s a pity I missed Ronan, did you have a great time?’

Jennifer nodded. ‘Guess what, Paula? He’s asked me to marry him. We’re getting engaged on my twenty-first. You’re the only one I’m telling,’ she burst
out.

‘I don’t believe it!’ Paula exclaimed. ‘I’m shocked.’

‘I know,’ Jennifer smiled. ‘I’m a bit shocked myself. But Ronan’s the one for me.’

‘I can’t let you out of my sight before you’re up to something,’ Paula teased. ‘I always knew you and Ronan would make a go of it. He was the only fella you were
ever really interested in. You’re perfect for each other. I know you’ll be really happy.’