Forever and Always (13 page)

We walked in and Yari instantly took a liking for Cyrus. I guess he was fresh meat. She was no better than a dude. “Hey, Josiah I see you were out making friends,” Yari said.

“I guess you could say that,” I answered. “Unfortunately, it came at a high price for some. Everyone, this is Cyrus.” Cyrus gave an awkward wave to the group.  “He has joined our little cause.”

“Are we going to start taking in every stray Mani from here to San Jose?” Wyatt asked.

“He risked a lot joining us, and I will see to it that he is safe. This house is sunlight proof, so that's a good place to start.”

“Well, it looks like we have two less visitors now anyway.” Yari stated. “So welcome Cyrus.  I have a nice big bed if you’re interested.”

Cyrus had a nervous smile and I winked at him. “It’s okay, Cyrus, she bites,” I said, jokingly. I turned to Yari. “So, let me guess. Lena left?”

“Lena said she needed some time,” Yari said. “We gave her some money and she said she'd keep in touch. That’s all I knew to do.”

“You are a saint, Yari.” I said, sarcastically. I was extremely disappointed to hear that bit of information on many levels. But the main one was I really wanted to set things straight with her. “Who is the other person that left?” I asked, knowing full well she was referring to Tommy.

“Lena said you sent Tommy packing.”

“That’s not exactly what happened.  He kind of spazzed out and went flying through the window.”

“Without any help from you?” Yari asked.

“Do you really think I’d throw my best friend through a window?”

Yari smiled because she heard what I said. I still called Tommy my best friend.

“Well, don't worry about him,” I said to the group. “He's coming back and he should be here any minute.”

“Where is he?” Wyatt asked.

“Trust me, he’ll be here. There’s only two rooms, so we need to all be courteous to each other,” I said. “If you guys don't mind, I'm going to take a moment.” I excused myself and walked down the hallway and went into the guest room and shut the door.

I started to feel really emotional.  Now that Lena had officially left, I was going to really have to see this thing for what it was. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to. How can I lead those people if I feel the way I do? My heart ached.

Forever and Always? What happened with that?

I laid on the bed and closed my eyes. I needed to lay down and recharge my batteries. This sure has been some kind of roller coaster since I've been back. I have a feeling it's only going to get worse.

I laid there for about twenty minutes and then I heard a knock at the door. “Who is it?” I yelled out.

“It’s Tommy.”

Great! What the hell does he want? I knew we had just fought by each other’s side, but we really didn't have much choice. We were pretty outnumbered. I wasn’t sure if I was up to talking with him, but he was at the door and I couldn’t tell him to leave.

“Come in,” I said.

The door slowly opened and Tommy poked his head through the door. “Can I come in? I feel a little out of place with all those vampires in the other room.”

“It’s not going to get any better in here,” I joked. “Vampire, party of one.”

Tommy laughed and came in and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Are we good?” Tommy asked.

“Good?” I asked. “There is nothing good about this situation. I think we’re stuck together for better or for worse.”

“That’s it, we’re just stuck together?”

“What do you want me to say? That I think it’s cool what you did?”

“There are things we need to talk about,” Tommy said.

“I know we need to talk. I’m just not sure if I’m ready to, that’s all. Tommy, you’re five years older than me.  I have always looked up to you. This is a hard thing for me to get my head around.  My dearest friend played the girl I love to the point that she left me.  That’s a hard pill to swallow.”

“I didn’t play her.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. You fell in love with her.”

Tommy looked at me and shook his head. “I’m sorry. It was never supposed to be like this. In the end, Josiah, she’s just a girl.”

“Exactly, in the end, Tommy, to me…she wasn’t just a girl. She was my validation in all of this.  She lifted me up and made me want to become this God forbidden thing that I am. She’s not just a girl, and to think that’s all you see, just shows how awful it is that you got her to fall for you.”

“She fell for me?”

“Yeah, Tommy. That’s why she left.  She had feelings for you too and she felt it wasn’t fair for anyone.”

Tommy seemed please to hear that Lena had feelings for him. To be honest, his cocky glow started to piss me off. I needed to call him on it; I couldn’t just let it slide.

I stood up off the bed. “Tommy, you saw an opportunity and you took it, without any consideration for me. You know me.  I don’t fall for girls every day. You didn’t care. You were only thinking about yourself.”

“I thought about you the whole time.”

“But yet you took her to the beach and told her that you were having feelings for her?  And you didn’t stop there. You kissed her.”

Tommy shook his head at me. “Lena's not in love with me, she told me so herself. She might feel something towards me, but it’s not the same as what she feels for you.”

“I don’t even care anymore.  This whole thing is tainted. You put your stink all over the situation. Even if Lena and I were to work things out. I’ll always know that you…” I stopped myself and then continued. “You will always know that my girlfriend has feelings for you.  I don’t want to live in that world.”

“That is so selfish, Josiah!”

“You? Tommy? Are telling me? That I’m being selfish? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Just hear me out, Josiah.  You and I are built from the same mold.  The reason why we’re so close is because we’re so similar. Why wouldn’t the same girl see things in both of us that she’s attracted to?”

  “Okay, Tommy. That is all fine and dandy. But, you’re in love with her.”

“I don't know anymore.”

“Bullshit, Tommy. You sat there yesterday and spouted your undying love for my girlfriend.  You can’t sit here and say it didn’t happen. Whatever you feel towards Lena is so strong that she feels it too. Don’t tell me this isn’t important to you. I know it is. All I know is she broke up with me over it. So please don’t underplay it because that insults my intelligence.”

“She broke up with you?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, she did.”

“I’m so sorry, Josiah. Man, I fucked everything up.”

“What did you think would happen?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to come clean. I didn’t want it to go down like this.”

“Well, it did.” I turned on the TV with the remote and flipped through the channels. “She's gone and I'm done talking about it.”

Tommy got up and stood in front of the TV. “Josiah, I need to know if you forgive me.”

I flipped off the TV and looked at Tommy. “Did you sleep with her?”

“Of course not.”

“Did you kiss her more than the one time at the beach?”

“No, it never happened again. We just talked, mainly about you.”

I looked at Tommy and felt the history that he and I had shared over the years, and in the end, Lena was a woman that never owed me anything.

“I forgive you, Tom.” I said.

“You do?”

“Yeah, I can forgive, but I can't forget. Maybe over time I’ll be able to, but for now, I'm going to have a hard time fully trusting you.

“That's fair and I hope someday that changes.”

“Was there anything else?” I asked, wanting this conversation to just end.

“For now, I just wanted to make sure we were straight.”

“We’re good,” I confirmed.

Tommy nodded. “Hey, can I sleep in here with you?”

“Really dude?” Now he was pushing it.

“You don't expect me to sleep out there with a vampire who was trying to kill me an hour ago?”

I looked at Tommy and couldn’t help but laugh. “Ok, but we sleep opposite of each other and absolutely no talk about ‘morning hard-ons’.”

“You know, there’s nothing I like more than my wood pressed up against your back, Josiah.”

“That's what I'm talking about. Zip it.” I made a zip motion with my hand over my lips.

Tommy laughed, and said, “Hey, put on America's Got Talent. I heard there’s a guy and his dog that can do every kind of dance imaginable. I heard they do a mean Salsa.”

“It's no American Idol,” I said.

“I haven't like that show since Taylor Hicks.”

“I'm a Clay Aiken fan myself.”

“I knew you were a Claymate!”

“Shut up.”

Tommy and I bunked like a couple of sixth graders having a sleepover. It was hard for me to stay mad at him. He and I had been through so much in the last five years. I still don't understand what he was thinking or what his intentions were with Lena, but I felt like I needed to turn the page.

Did he seriously fall in love with Lena or was he just being competitive?

It was the middle of the day and I woke up hearing a knock at the door. “Hey boys!” Yari was knocking at the door.

“Yeah?” I called out, groggily.

“Open the door,” she said.

Tommy was out like a light so I got myself up and went to the door. I made sure I wasn’t slipping out of my shorts and then I opened the door.

“What are you two doing?” Yari said, walking into the room.

“We’re sleeping.”

“Well, get up! It's the middle of the day!” She laughed.

“Very funny. What do you want, Yari?”

“Well, if you two are done having your makeup sex, I have a proposition for you guys.”

“Okay,” I said, ignoring the gay joke.

“Remember that gorgeous white house I took you to, a couple months back, when we went to that crazy house party?”

“The one in Victorville?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“What about it?” I asked.

“Well, as you remember, the place is freaking huge. The guy who owned it isn’t exactly with us, if you know what I'm mean. And the guy who is now looking after it said all of us could stay there as long as we like.  It has nine rooms, a Jacuzzi and a pool.”

“I remember it well,” I said. “I had a pretty memorable night. How soon can we move in?”

“We can leave right now if you like. The place is completely furnished and just waiting for us to move in.”

“Did you tell everyone else?”

“Yeah, they have already transitioned and left. Everyone decide that they were going to go live there regardless of what you decided to do.”

“That's good, “I laughed. “I'm not running a cult here. I’m glad people are making their own decisions.”

“Why don't you and Tommy gather your stuff and drive out.”

“Drive?”

“Oh, I forgot you only fly now, Josiah. Forgive me, oh great one.” Yari smirked at me and left the room.

I shut the door and turned around and faced Tommy. “Hey, Wolfboy, wake up!”

Tommy looked up at me half dead. “What the hell are you yelling about?”

“Get up and gather your things, we’re moving.”

“We’re moving? What the hell?”

“That’s what I said. Get up, sleepyhead, rise and shine.”

“Where are we moving to?”

“Trust me, you’ll love it. It’s a freaking palace.”

“Wow, a palace!” Tommy stretched his arms.  “That’s cool. This place was getting a little cramped.  Where is it? Beverly Hills?”

“Not quite,” I laughed. “Try a location that is a lot dryer and hotter.”

“Where?”

“Victorville.”

“Victorville? You mean that desert town on the way to Las Vegas?”

“That would be the one.”

“That place is a 100 degrees, 365 days a year.”

“Well, thank God our house will have air conditioning and a pool, so you won’t have to worry about it getting too hot.”

“You know that for sure?”

“Yes, I’ve been there. Get up and quit complaining. You’re going to have your own room, and that will be a very good thing because I don’t want to look at your junk.”

“Hey, Josiah. My eyes are up here,” Tommy said, jokingly pointing at his eyes.

“It’s kind of hard to miss when you wear basketball shorts three sizes too small.”

“I thought we weren’t going to call attention to our junk.”

“Sorry, it’s hard to miss.”

“That’s what I’ve been told.”

I shook my head and walked out of the room.   The house was empty except for Yari, everyone had gone up to Victorville. I went over and sat on the easy chair. Yari came out of her bedroom with a bag full of stuff. “Hey, will you and Tommy take this bag with you?”

“Sure, no problem.  It will probably be just Tommy. I’m thinking about flying over. Otherwise I have to transition and sit in the back seat as the eagle.  I don’t think I want to deal with how slow Tommy drives.”

“It’s nice having one of us grounded. It makes it easier to figure who will drive our shit places. No need to draw straws.”

I smiled in agreement and leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes.

“What's on your mind, Josiah?”

“You were right about everything, Yari. I didn't want to believe you, but you called it. I won’t ever doubt you again.”

“I know it’s hard, but you need to turn the page.”

“How have you done it all these years? Aren’t you exhausted?” I looked over at Yari and she came over and sat on my lap.

“Josiah, you are too nice. It’s not exhausting if you don’t allow people to control how you feel.”

“I thought Lena and I had something special.  I thought it was more. Obviously I’m an idiot.”

“Josiah, you’re not an idiot. For God’s sake, look at you! Your freaking gorgeous and you have a heart of gold.  If Lena can’t see that you’re head and shoulders above any man, then it’s her loss.”

“You really think that?”

“Honestly, what is sexy as hell about you is your confidence.  You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and go out there and do you.”

Yari was right. I needed to let it go. “I’ll put your bag in the car.” I got up and picked Yari’s bag up.

“Josiah, I talked with Lena for about two hours right before she left.  She loves you. She loves you more than you know. Give her time.”