Forever Blessed (Women of Prayer) (11 page)

"I started to cry. Before long I felt a hand resting on my shoulder and the deep voice of the church’s pastor praying with me. I sobbed. Everything I had been holding on to, every hurt and every bit of anger flowed out of me as I was filled with the peace of Christ. It was at that moment I realized how much I needed forgiving, how much I had hurt those who loved me, those who relied upon me. Most of all, I realized how much I had hurt the one who gave his life for mine. I neglected him. I failed to trust him. I turned away from him when I needed him the most. I renewed my vow to forever trust him that night. Yes, I still had some healing to go through, but I am no longer angry and bitter. I have given every aspect of my life to him to do with what he wants. My life is no longer my own. It is his.

"So to answer your question, my fear is this. If God can’t forgive the people who hurt us the most, then how can he forgive me?”

Laney took her friend's hand. “You never told me any of this. I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn't meant for you to know this until now. Now is the time for you to consider the truth and what it means for your life. It won’t be easy. God never said we’d walk through this life with no troubles. He did say he would walk through everything with us. He would be our strength. It is up to us to trust him to do what he says he will do. Are you ready to trust him, Laney?”

Laney paused. At every turn in her life, if the church had been involved, there had been pain. She wasn’t ready to trust the church. But that wasn’t what Sheila was asking. She was asking her to trust God. “I want to trust God, Sheila. I’m just not sure I’m ready to trust the church.”

Sheila took her friend’s hand. “Let's pray. God will take you just the way you are and he will strengthen you and grow you, as long as you allow him to.”

Both ladies bowed their heads and Sheila prayed for her friend, asking God to open Laney’s eyes to exactly how much he loved her. 

             
             
             
Chapter Fourteen

Sheila tentatively approached the church. Ella had invited her to the women’s prayer group that Pastor Jessi’s aunt started up. She loved the Lord with all of her heart, but praying with other women was not something she’d ever done. She mumbled to herself as she climbed the steps to the front door “a little late to fret over that now.”

She walked down the hall toward the sound of voices. All around the room ladies were praying. Some were kneeling. Some were pacing. Some, like Ella, were quietly sitting with their heads bowed. Well this is a bit different. Perhaps she got the time wrong.

Just as she was headed to an open chair, Merry, the lady leading the prayer group spoke up.

“Ladies, I hate to interrupt some good prayer time but it’s actually time for us to start. Course, most of us already started but we have some new women with us and we ought to spend a bit of time getting to know them. Why don’t you make yourself a cup of tea or coffee…by the way, thanks, Ella, for making the coffee. I hear it’s much better than the mud I usually make. Grab a cookie or two and introduce yourselves. We want everyone to feel welcome and at home as we petition the Lord for the souls of our loved ones.”

Ella caught Sheila’s eye and went to greet her with a hug. “Come on, let’s get some tea. You know how chilled I get this time of year.”

Several women approached them as they stood side by side sipping their tea. It wasn’t long before Merry called the prayer group to order.

“I trust you introduced yourself to someone new. God has given us the privilege of being sisters in Christ. A blood-bond stronger than any family tie unites us. We are daughters of the King. Whether we know one another in the natural or whether we meet on the other side, we are sisters. We are here to lift one another up and to bear one another’s burdens. As some of you already know, long before I moved here, I started a prayer group in Oklahoma. Then life happened. I grew older and my family worried about me, so I moved here where they could keep an eye on me. For a while I was bitter. I was angry because everything I worked so hard for was gone. My way of life, my friends, the home that my husband built for me, my church family, all of it was gone. But, what I didn’t understand was, God has something more planned for me. My life wasn’t over. I had a whole new set of directions, and how glad I am that I got over my temper tantrum, because I get to meet with you ladies and pray with you. What an honor that is for me. I get to spend time with my beautiful niece and nephew and watch their children grow in the Lord.

“When our lives change we must stop and ask the Lord what his plans for us are. As women, we are creatures of habit. We like our security. But, we must remember that God’s plans are higher than our own. He knows what is best for us and we must trust him to lead us where we can best serve him.

“Enough of me preaching. Let’s pray, shall we? Each week we meet here to fellowship and most importantly to pray over our loved ones. We all have loved ones that do not yet have a relationship with our Lord Jesus.

“Every time we meet you have the opportunity to write your loved ones’ names in this book.”  Merry held the book up for everyone to see.  “This is where we keep track of those we are praying for. When one of our loved ones comes to know the Lord we write the date down as a reminder that God always answers our prayers. As we begin praying, feel free to make your way to the book and write down the names of those you are praying for. God is faithful, ladies, and his promises to us are true. We’ve got an appointment. Let's not be late.”

Sheila watched as the women went to the Lord in prayer. Some talked out loud, their voices demanding. Some whispered, keeping their petitions between them and God. Sheila made her way to the book. She looked at the different handwriting, each one pleading with God to remember their loved ones. She thought about the ladies in her life, the ladies back at the house. Some of them knew her God. Some did not. She began writing and as she did, she felt the tears begin to gather. Her heart broke for these women. They were her family. She returned to her seat and sank to her knees. Only God heard the pleas as they tumbled from her heart. Only God could help them.

*  *  *  *

Sheila heard the screams, she felt their pain, but she couldn’t get to them.
God, help me.
No matter how hard she tried, she was helpless. Keisha, Laney, the other ladies from the shelter, she heard every one of them. It was so dark. She made a fist and swung into the darkness, making contact with something, someone. A grunt of pain erupted from an unidentified male. She swung again, making contact with bone. She heard a crack, similar to a stick breaking into two pieces. Suddenly she felt hands tighten around her throat. She tried to scream, but nothing would come. She gasped for breath. She felt her life draining from her body and opened her eyes one last time in an effort to see her tormentor. With one swift movement she jerked her knee upward, making contact exactly where she needed. As the oxygen filled her lungs she let out a blood-curling scream…and sat straight up.

Shaking she looked around the room and realized she’d had a nightmare. She stumbled to the bathroom and wiped the perspiration from her face. She made her way back to her bed, sunk to her knees and ended her day the same way she started it, in prayer.

             
             
             
             
Chapter Fifteen

Keisha rang the doorbell, sure that Laney-girl wouldn’t be happy with her. She knew what she had done was wrong. But, she couldn’t help herself. She thought about not telling her, but friends didn’t do that sort of thing. Friends were honest.

*  *  *  *

Laney took the box of donated Christmas decorations and set them before the tree. The kids sure picked an ugly one. Maybe with the help of ornaments it would be redeemable. Laney jumped at the sound of the doorbell. Who could that be? She hadn’t heard one peep from Paul, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still looking. Pulling the curtain back slightly, she saw the person standing on her front porch and a huge grin broke out on her face. “Keisha!”

She opened the door and pulled the woman in from the snow. “Keisha, what are you doing here?”

"That’s how it is, huh? I’ll go. You don’ want me here…I’ll jus’ be goin’.” She opened the door and started out. “Here I thought you’d like to see your friend Keisha. Guess I was wrong.”

“Keisha, get in here!”
             
Laney pulled her by the coat and gave her friend a hug. “Of course I want to see you. I just didn’t know if something was wrong. You know you are welcome here anytime!”

Laney hugged her again then pointed. “Put your coat in the closet. Want some hot chocolate?” She headed to the kitchen to put some water on. “Hey, where is Junior?”

“Um…he’s with a friend.”

As Laney took two mugs out of the cupboard, she looked back. “So, you have some free time? Want to help me and the kids decorate our tree? It’s scrawny, but it should be fun! Ella’s coming over too. She made cookies.”

“Yeah, sure, sounds like fun.” Keisha half smiled.

“Well, the kids are at Ella’s helping her get her things together. She hasn’t had a tree in years and has a bunch of ornaments. All I have are these that were donated to the shelter. I bet she has some beauties. I can’t wait to see them.” Laney grabbed three more mugs. “I guess two isn’t going to be enough. I better make enough for everyone.”

Keisha looked around Laney’s kitchen. It sure was different from hers. “I like your kitchen. It’s pretty.”

Laney looked around her kitchen. True, it wasn’t as big and didn’t have as many gadgets as her kitchen at Paul’s, but this bright yellow kitchen was warmer than that kitchen had ever been. She smiled. “Yeah, it’s nice. I like it too.” This was home. The sound of a slamming door and loud excited voices reminded her of just how much better this kitchen was.

“Mom! Look what we made.” The kids came running into the kitchen with plates of cutout cookies. Some were painstakingly decorated while others had clumps of candies and sugars on them. Leave it to her daughter, the artist, to make exquisite cookies.

Leave it to her son to dump every type of candy topping available on just one cookie. “Mom, did you see my world? Ms. Ella let me make a world with the left over cookie dough. Look, there’s my sea and my land.”

“Very nice, Matt. I suppose you are going to leave the world for Santa? So he knows his way around?”

Matt grinned. “Uh-uh,” he mumbled with a full mouth and crumbs falling. “It’s all mine.”

“Ella, I think you’ve created a monster. A cookie monster, that is.” She grabbed a cookie from Matt’s plate and headed to the living room. “Hey guys, let’s decorate us a Christmas tree.”

Laney moved into the living room while Matt and Joy grabbed the two boxes of ornaments from outside the door.

“Mom, wait until you see all Ms. Ella’s ornaments!” Joy had already started removing them from the boxes. She held up a beautiful golden angel for her mom to see. “Look at this one. Isn’t it just gorgeous?” She pulled another one out of the box. “Ms. Ella, where did you get these from?”

“I collected them over the years. Some were gifts and some I bought. I used to love to decorate for the holidays. It brought me such joy to see the tree all lit up. I guess I have gotten too old for all the fuss. It makes my heart glad to see them being used again.”

Keisha removed a fragile glass snowflake from the box. She just stared. How could something be so beautiful when her life was such a mess? She placed the ornament in front, right where she could see it when she visited. It would look just like a real snowflake when the house lights were off and the tree lights were on. She looked around the room.
So this is what a family Christmas is like.
Everyone was laughing and eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate. Christmas music was playing in the background. She felt out of place. She didn’t belong. Who did she think she was? Stringing popcorn and cranberries? This wasn’t her. She didn’t do things like this. Who was she kidding? It was too much to handle. She grabbed her coat from the closet and left without saying good-bye. She had walked for nearly a block when she heard her name being called.