Forever Blue (34 page)

***

    
With so much on my mind, I nearly forgot about Carter’s appearance on Jay Leno that night. I fell asleep on the couch and awoke to the sound of Scotty chuckling next to me.

    
“What’s going on?” I asked, drowsily.

    
“Your old buddy’s on television.”

    
I dismounted myself from the couch and walked closer to the television, suddenly
snapping into full alertness—Carter
was
chatting
with THEE Mr. Jay Leno.

    
“God, you can tell this guy is so into himself,” Scotty mentioned.

    
The comment was unnecessarily disrespectful. “No, he’s not.”

    
“Are you kidding me? Look at him.” Scotty definitely had no idea what he was talking about. “It’s not like he hides it.”

    
“He just has a lot of confidence,” I retorted.

    
“Yeah, whatever. I would, too, if I made the kind of money he does.”

    
I continued to stare at Carter on the television screen. I wanted to touch him so badly that it hurt.

    
“Anyway, he’s probably just waiting for the perfect moment to come out of the closet. He
totally
looks like a homo,” Scotty chimed in.

    
Rather insulted, I shot back, “He’s not gay.”

    
“How would you know? You haven’t talked to him in years. Weren’t you two just kids when he took off?”

    
I walked back over to the couch and faced him. “Jealous much?”

     
“What me?” Scotty asked with the most condescending chuckle. “I don’t think so.”

    
“You know nothing about him, Scotty, so why don’t you just shut your filthy mouth!”

    
My anger
had
metastasized into something I suddenly had no control over.
After
I stomped out of the room,
I realized that
I might have made it
a bit
too obvious.

***

    
On the day of the interview, I sat at a twenty-foot cherry wood conference table overlooking the ABC lot. I waited a good amount of time, hoping the spark of uneasiness flashing through the pit of my stomach would vanish. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but I began to feel as though someone
had
forgotten
about me.
The idea lost its steam when a fortyish, dark-haired man walked into the room.

     
“Hi, Alexa. I’m Gian McDonald, executive producer.” He met my gaze and shook my hand. “Traci and our producer, Alan, should be here in just a second.”

       
He was on the shorter side and had a
rough appearance about him. His goatee made him look intimidating, but that aside, his endearing smile calmed me.

    
I slid my portfolio over to Gian. He opened it and said, “I’ve heard some exceptional things about you.”

    
Gian and I chatted about my previous experience in the industry. After a good thirty minutes, in walked Traci and a skinny long-haired man with a slew of tattoos on his arms.

    
“Alexa, this is our producer, Alan White,” Traci said, taking a seat at the conference table. She was petite and sported short reddish layered hair.

     “Hello, Alexa. Nice to meet you,” Alan said, shaking my hand.

    
“Did Gian tell you anything about the series?” Traci asked. “Well, we’re aiming for a show that’s similar to Sex and the City, but with a cast focusing on men.”

     
“The adventures of four male best friends living in Los Angeles and dating,” Gian chimed in.

    
“It sounds interesting,” I said, intrigued.

    
“We’re in the middle of filming the pilot episode, so we’re going to need another makeup artist as soon as possible,” Alan mentioned.

    
“Well, your portfolio is impressive.
We still have a few other people we’re interviewing. I’ll be in touch,” Gian said.

      
I stood up and shook each one of their hands;
sensing disappointment
was
on its way.

***

    
I came home to find Scotty in the bedroom packing.

    
“Hey,” I said, eyeing his suitcase curiously.

    
“Hey, hon. How did it go?” Scotty asked.

      
I shrugged. “Good I guess. I really didn’t get a straight answer.”

    
“Well, give it time. It doesn’t happen overnight. You’re dealing with the big dogs now.”

    
“Are you going somewhere?” I asked.

     “The CEO of a telecommunications company asked me to come meet him in San Francisco. He’s interested in purchasing several vacation homes in Orange County.” Scotty stuffed some socks into his suitcase. “He asked for me personally. Can you believe it? I caught the first flight out. I have to be at the airport in the next hour or so. I know it’s last minute.”

    
“Go and do what you have to do.”

     
“So, you’re cool with me leaving?”

    
“Of course.”

    
“Good,” he said, kissing me on the forehead. “I’ll be back in a few days.”

    
I reveled in Scotty’s momentum, knowing the timing was too perfect. For the first time since we’d met, I was excited for him to leave on a trip without me.

    
“You’ll be okay, right?” Scotty asked.

    
“Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’ll keep myself busy.”

    
I pulled myself out of my self-absorption
by the time Scotty left for the airport.
It was only minutes later that I got an unexpected
phone call.

    
“I’m baacccck,” Carter said.

    
“And I have good news for you too,” I said, bracing myself. “Scotty left for the weekend.”

    
“Hmm. We might have to take advantage of this.”

      
“We better. Opportunities like this don’t come around very often.”

    
“I have to make an appearance at a movie premier tonight. Why don’t you come by tomorrow
night?”

    
I couldn’t think of a thing I anticipated more than being in Carter’s arms again.

***

   
 
Isabella dropped by unexpectedly the next afternoon to have me sign some paperwork.

     “So did you hear anything about my interview?” I asked.

    
“No, not yet,” she said, taking a teaspoon of artificial sweetener and carefully stirring it around in her tea. “Don’t stress out about it. Everything will happen the way it’s supposed too.”

    
“I’m just really antsy. I want that job,” I said, sitting down at the table beside her.

    
“Like I just said, things will work out the way they’re supposed to. You shouldn’t worry so much.”

    
Paranoid and unashamed of it, I expelled a deep sigh. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

    
“Alexa, is something else bothering you? You seem a little preoccupied.”

    
I looked down into my cup of tea
for a long, uneasy moment.
“Isabella, do you ever look back on your life and wish you could go back and do things differently?”

    
“I think everyone has those moments. Why do you ask?”

    
“I don’t know. It’s just sometimes I think about what life would
have been
like if I hadn’t gotten married.”

    
“Darling, I don’t know where this is coming from, but look around you.” She frowned and dismissively waved her hands in the air. “You live in a beautiful house—a wonderful husband and a career that’s just about to take off. Why on Earth would you want to start over?”

    
Isabella would never understand how I felt. If I told her about Carter, she’d disapprove and fire off a painful tongue-lashing. I decided against speaking about it further.

    
“Never mind. It was just a crazy thought,” I said.

    
“Does this have anything to do with babies?”

    
She couldn’t have been further off. “Oh no.”

    
“But Scotty is still pressuring you, right?”

    
“Not as much as he was before. He knows my career comes first right now.”

    
“I’m glad you know what you want, dear. When you are finally ready, you won’t feel like you made a mistake.”

    
Before I left for Carter’s house that evening, I made a decision that
would
change the course of my life. I wasn’t sure how Carter would react, but it was worth fighting for.

AND DON’T MISS THE STUNNING CONCLUSION, FOREVER BLUE: NEW TEARS TO CRY OLD SONGS TO SING, COMING TO EBOOK APRIL
2012

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