Forever Bound (3 page)

How
could her brother be so blind? He and Christine would be perfect together, the
ideal high-achieving, attractive couple.

“I
think you might have fun with it,” Fiona continued in her usual breezy tone.
“And I checked online. The sister resort next door is couples only. They have a
boutique with merchandise from the Plume.”

“From
where?”

Fiona
laughed. “It’s a private BDSM club. They make some quality gear.”

“Fiona!”

Her
friend grinned, unrepentant. “If you change your mind and want some moral
support when you go shopping, let me know. I’m always looking for accessories.”
She headed toward the guest rooms, then glanced back. “If you decide to throw
him back, let me know, too. I’ve always thought Ryan was kind of cute.”

“You
are
bad!”

Fiona
laughed again. “You knew that already, girlfriend.” Then she was gone, checking
her key and dragging her roller bag behind her.

Christine
had been talking to the concierge, but came back to Jess’s side. “You okay?
Last minute jitters?” She looped her arm through Jess’s elbow. “I’ll check with
the concierge again later about the missing bag. Don’t worry. They have four
days to find it.”

“It’ll
be ruined if it spends four days crammed into the suitcase.”

Christine
gave her a hug. “Stop worrying! It might need a little touch up with the iron,
or maybe just to hang out in the shower for a while. We’ll fix it.” She smiled
at Jess. “You should enjoy this. It’s a dream wedding and it’s all yours.”

“You
should be the one getting married, not me.”

“Why’s
that?”

“Because
you still believe in all this happily ever after stuff.” Jess sighed. “I’m not
sure I can anymore.”

“Oh,
you don’t mean that. You and Ryan are perfect for each other.” Christine’s
smile was a little bit forced. “Besides, I’m living vicariously. You have to
have a fabulous wedding for all of us. Fiona, too.”

“She’ll
never get married. It’s a matter of principle.”

“Don’t
be so sure. When people are certain they’ve got it all figured out, the
universe has a way of shaking up their assumptions.”

“You
really believe that?”

“I’m
a relentless optimist. You should know that by now. Besides people live longer
when they’re married—that would be an incentive even for Fiona.”

“Ryan
might not live long enough to get married if he keeps this up.”

“You’re
all bark and no bite,” Christine teased. “Everyone knows you two are wonderful
together.”

Even
if Ryan seemed to have forgotten. Maybe it was just the stress of the wedding. Jess
forced a smile and tried to think positive. “Thanks, Christine. I’ll meet you
back here in a few minutes. Don’t rush.”

“I
can take care of hunting down the dress. You go spend some time with Ryan.”

Jess
snorted and jerked her head in the direction of the bar. “He’s busy.”

Christine
gave her an intent look. “Oh, I thought you and Ryan might take a break
together today...”

Jess
shook her head. “No, we decided to wait until the wedding night,” she explained.
“Keep it more romantic.”

Christine
smiled. “That does sound romantic. The first time all over again.” She glanced
back toward the bar. “Maybe that’s why he’s so busy with his friends. Trying to
avoid you would make it easier to keep to your plan.” She smiled. “You two are
so electric together.”

They
had
been electric together.
Jess’s heart ached that the magic she’d thought they’d share for the duration
was evaporating before her own eyes.

But
trust Christine to find a nice and reasonable explanation. She was also the one
who had been most reliable in sorting out the last minute kinks and crises.

“You
are the best, Christine,” Jess said, her tears rising. “I don’t know how I’d
get through this without you.”

“It’s
going to be perfect,” Christine said with a confidence Jess didn’t feel. “We’ll
triple-check everything and all you’ll have to do on the big day is enjoy
yourself. You’ll be so beautiful and this place is just gorgeous. It will be a
dream wedding. It will go off without a hitch and you’ll arrive home to find
dozens of new clients wanting your services.” She hugged Jess. “Take a deep
breath and stop worrying. You’re never going to do this again, so enjoy it.”

“You’re
right.” Jess gave her best and oldest friend a tight hug, wishing she could
believe it was true. “Thanks.”

“Let
me talk to the concierge about the bag. Have a shower and a nap.” Christine’s
tone was comforting. “That will make you feel better. Do they have a spa here?
We could book in before the wedding and get beautiful together.”

“That’s
a great idea!”

“Maybe
you should get a massage today.”

Maybe
she should. Jess joined her mom, listening to her mom’s enthusiasm for the
resort, and tried to be a little more optimistic.

It
couldn’t hurt.

* * *

Ryan
didn’t come to the cottage at all that day. Jess couldn’t believe it. She’d
unpacked her bags and then his, hung up the clothes, and rearranged everything.
Great. She was a dutiful little wife already. She felt a resentment that was
far from what she wanted to feel.

She’d
gone for a massage with her mom—which hadn’t really helped—and had
intended to sparkle her way through dinner as if she was having a marvelous
time.

Instead
she lost it.

Ryan
was drunk when he came to the table and everyone knew it. Jess’s mom’s lips practically
disappeared in her disapproval and Jess found herself clenching the stem of her
wine glass so tightly that she nearly snapped it.

“What
the hell is the matter with you?” she demanded in an undertone.

He
dared to look surprised as he took his seat beside her. “What do you mean? Just
enjoying this great location.” His words were slurred and the smile he gave her
lacked his usual charm.

Jess
caught her breath and bit back an unkind comment.

She
saw a wariness dawn in Ryan’s eyes. “Guess I’d better get something to eat,” he
said, starting to rise from the chair he’d just claimed. “You think there’s any
beef left at the buffet?”

Jessica
seized his arm and pushed him back down toward the chair. “You could at least
try to be sober. You could at least pretend to be happy.”

Ryan
sat down hard. “I am happy, Jess,” he said through gritted teeth. “The guys
just want to blow off some steam. It’s harmless.”

That
he couldn’t manage to say that last word didn’t help.

“It’s
not harmless,” Jess snapped. “It’s destroying everything.”

“What
do you mean?” He knew what she meant. She could see it in his eyes.

So,
he knew he was trashing their relationship and he didn’t care. That didn’t
exactly make Jess feel better.

“It’s
making me hate you,” she said quietly. “It’s making all these people wonder why
the hell they’ve come so far. That society journalist is coming in on Tuesday
and she’s just looking for a way to make this seem like a fiasco. You don’t
have to make it easy for her.” She took a breath and added her deepest fear,
wanting him to refute it. “Maybe there’s not going to be a wedding.”

Instead
Ryan’s lips tightened and he leaned closer. His eyes gleamed and he looked more
like his usual self. “Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” he said, to
Jess’s shock. “Maybe everything went to shit
before
I started drinking with my buddies. Maybe you were
the one who ruined everything.”

“Me?”

“Yes,
you. Getting married to me wasn’t good enough for you.” He gestured to the
dining hall. “You had to make it into this huge promotion.”

“That
was your idea!”

“I
plead ignorance. This is one big revelation to me.” He shook his head, casting
a glance over the place as his lips tightened. “And it’s costing a fortune. Are
you sure your shop can afford it?”

“It’s
a stretch, but it could take our sales to the next level. I’ve already seen a
big uptick with the newspaper coverage.”

“Well,
then, good. If it trashes our relationship, at least there will be an upside.”

“You
don’t mean that.” Jess stared at him in horror. “I thought you wanted this,
too.”

Ryan
leaned over her, his gaze so intense that her heart thumped. “I wanted to marry
you. I wanted to make you happy. I wanted you to have the ceremony you wanted
to have and your business to be as successful as you wanted it to be.” He shook
his head. “But this? Wow, Jess. It’s totally over the top.” He laughed under his
breath. “Maybe I can’t afford to marry you.” He shoved his hand through his
hair and looked lost.

Jess
felt more than lost. She felt as if a cold hand clutched her heart and gave it
a squeeze. “What are you saying?”

“Maybe
calling it off wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”

“You
can’t mean that...”

“I’m
not sure. Maybe this is the kind of wedding your family and friends have. Mine
go down to the local church. It’s not fancy, but it doesn’t cost a fortune
either.” He fixed her with a hot look. “Where do we go from here, Jess? I’m
just a beat cop, just starting out with the force. I don’t make the kind of
money that will ever let me toss twenty thousand dollars at a vacation.”

“I
don’t care about that. You love your job...”

“But
you have expectations. What happens if you get pregnant and stop working? What
happens if your shop closes down? What happens if we have to live off my income
alone? It’s a different lifestyle, Jess, and I’m wondering if just having me
would make it worth staying for you.”

Jess
felt her mouth drop open. “I love you.”

“And
I love you. I’m starting to wonder if it’s going to be enough.”

Jess
couldn’t think of a thing to say.

Ryan
waited only a moment before he got to his feet. “I’m going to get something to
eat.”

Jess
stared after her groom as he bailed on her.

Again.

Would
this be the pattern of their life together?

Was
he right?

Jess
sat numb as her family closed ranks around her. Her mom began to talk about the
way her new sandals had pinched her feet, seeking advice on stretching the leather
straps. Her brother Jake teased her mom about the optimism of wearing the shoes
on the flight. Christine watched Jake while Fiona checked her phone for
messages. They all pretended to not notice that Ryan sat at a different table
with his buddies to eat.

Jess
stared at the table, wondering what she should do. The other guests drifted
away to dance or go to the bar. She wanted to cry, but that wouldn’t fix
anything.

Predictably,
it was Christine who came to her rescue. “You must be exhausted,” she said as
she moved into the seat Ryan had vacated. She smiled at Jess. “I know I am.
That flight was early.”

“I’m
going dancing,” Fiona announced, giving Jake a pointed glance. “Anyone want to
come?”

Jake
shook his head and stretched like a big cat. “I’m with Christine,” he said,
tempting Jess to kick him. “Time for the party animals and the early risers to
part ways.”

“You’ll
feel better after a good night’s sleep,” Christine said, but Jess didn’t
believe it. She was hollow inside, sick with the sense that everything was
falling apart.

Jake
stood up and smiled at his sister, ignoring the way Christine watched him.
“Come on, Jess. You look dead on your feet. Give it up for the day. I’ll walk
you back to your cottage.”

Christine
turned away quickly, but not quickly enough that Jess didn’t see her
disappointment.

Maybe
Christine was right and a night’s sleep would improve the view.

It
couldn’t hurt.

* * *

Ryan
fought to keep his gaze from following Jess as she left the restaurant.

He’d
said too much and hurt her feelings. He knew it and he felt like an asshole,
but on the other hand, he couldn’t keep silent any longer.

Once
upon a time, he would have been able to tell her something tough in a kinder
way. They might have disagreed, but they would have kept talking—and they
would have ended up making love slowly afterward.

He
ached with the memory of how sweet it could be to reconcile.

They’d
never argued like this, but maybe lovemaking could still take the edge off
everything. He thought of following her and seducing her, then remembered their
deal.

He
sat down hard. If he went to the cottage, he would make love to her. He would
try to drive the pain from her eyes and try to restore the connection they’d
had. He’d kill himself to make her smile. But he’d promised to wait until the
ceremony.