Forever Changed (The Mystic Wolves) (23 page)

“But the thought of you not being here, of me losing you, I’ll do whatever’s needed.”

“Really? You agree to kill your mate if the situation warrants it?” Vivien prodded.

He snarled, baring his teeth before regaining control. “How many times do I have to say I refuse to live without
her?”

“Mason, what you’re doing is selfish. Even Darcy has reservations.” It was the worst thing she could’ve said.

“Leave before I remove you myself. Out of respect for your relationship with my wife, I’ll forget you had the audacity to accuse me of that.”

“Honey.” Moving so the blanket fell to the floor, I shifted my body so I could carefully sit up better. “I’m scared; but if you promise me we’ll get through this, I’ll do it.”

“Darcy!” Vivien exclaimed. It was Devlin who motioned for her to be silent.

“Zane is right. This is my decision; so give me the space to make it. I’m telling you all how I feel—about the thoughts that are bouncing back and forth. I don’t want to die; but I don’t want to lose my humanity, either. I want to live. Knowing my aversion to blood will go away helps; but I can’t be the cause of more heartache to the ones I love. I’m scared. I’m terrified I’ll make the wrong choice, but most of all, I am so damn angry. I’ve done everything that’s been asked of me, faced whatever challenges and obstacles were placed in my way, and overcome it all. I’m not perfect, and I’ve definitely had my moments, but I didn’t come this far just to have it end. I want to grow old with my husband, have babies, watch them terrorize Devlin, and have everyone wrapped around their little fingers. I want to watch my children grow into strong, beautiful adults and see my pack grow as a family. I don’t want those who’ve opposed us to win. I’m angry as hell; so if I was to answer you right now, yes . . . I want to become a vampire, and whatever happens, I’ll deal with it like I’ve dealt with everything else. I’m done with being afraid. I just want my happily-ever-after.”

No one said a word and I struggled to catch my breath. My impromptu speech had caught me by surprise. The more I spoke, the more adamant and determined I became. Bad things were always going to happen. Sometimes the options before me would be between two outcomes that were equally as bleak. But it didn’t matter in the end. Just like Mason had said, the alternative was too unbearable.

“Then, I grant you permission.” Tears filled my eyes as Zane’s words registered. Mason didn’t speak; instead, he lifted me into his arms and kissed the side of my head, his body shaking with relief. There was a soft click of the door closing and a quick glance told me Vivien had left.

“If that’s your ruling, I better go prepare.” Devlin’s face revealed nothing—a neutral mask slipping over his features as he bowed first to Zane, and then to me. “It should take me a few hours to have everything ready. Spend the rest of the night together . . . and I’ll come for you in the morning.” The ‘just in case’ didn’t need to be voiced, the thought was already circling in my mind.

“Thank you,” Mason whispered, unable to let go of me. “And you, too, Zane.”

“May the gods watch over us.” Zane smiled, his eyes still containing the sadness he felt.

It would be okay. Now there was a plan. It would be just like every other time danger had surfaced.

We’d kick its butt and send it packing.

Hopefully.

Chapter 25

Mason quietly kicked the door closed behind him, his eyes never leaving my face, as though if he blinked, I’d be gone. There was no arguing with him when he gathered me up into his arms, refusing to let me walk the short distance to our bedroom. It was where we wanted to spend the remainder of our time together, shutting out the distractions of the world so we could be with each other.

He carefully laid me down on the bed. Without a word, he removed my clothes so I would be comfortable, pulling the warm blanket over me to keep any chill out. His tenderness tore at my heart because I knew what he was thinking. I didn’t need our connection for it—everything was written plainly across his features. He didn’t want to weaken me any further, hoping to give me the best chance at success when Devlin eventually returned and summoned me for the conversion.

We didn’t talk about that, either. We didn’t really speak about anything, a solemn almost reverent feeling settled between us. The last time I’d experienced this kind of silence from him was the morning after Jasmine’s death. The sensation that my beloved husband was in turmoil, battling his own doubts and hopes, but chose not to share them, was overwhelming. I’m sure if I pushed, he’d open up and let me know how I could help relieve the heaviness in his heart; but I didn’t want to waste the few precious hours we might have left.

Yes, we’d both accepted Zane’s judgment with positivity; but now, when all the excitement was over and the act would become an actuality, reality settled in. Those risks Mason fought to ignore, declaring he was more interested in believing everything would work out, they were no doubt creeping into his mind taunting him.

“Hey,” I whispered, a faint smile over my lips. “Why are you so far away?”

After making sure I was situated, I’d hoped he would lie down beside me; but he’d chosen to sit away from me instead. Sagging in the chair with his elbow propping his head, Mason simply watched me. I didn’t know what he was expecting, but the distance between us was unacceptable.

“You need to sleep, sweetheart. We don’t know how taxing the conversion will be. The more strength you have, the better.” His voice was gravelly, filled with exhaustion.

“There’ll be plenty of time for sleep. This is not how I want to spend these next few hours, Mason. Please, come here.” I patted the space beside me, his side of the bed, and didn’t stop until he finally relented. I understood he meant well, but what I needed more than anything was the warm press of his body against mine, his arms around me. If ever I needed his grounding influence, it was now. “Make sure you
’re comfortable, as well.”

Knowing I could be persistent, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. “I’ll join you, but I want you to sleep, Darcy. I don’t want anything going wrong later.” He cautiously lowered his body, mindful not to touch me, as if mere contact would shatter me into pieces.

“I’m not fragile. Please don’t treat me like this. I don’t need to be treated like I’m going to die. All that drama is outside the door. It’s not in here, in our safe haven from the world.”

“I can’t pretend that everything is fine. I can’t be careless with you. Too much is at stake. Now, close your eyes, sweetheart. I won’t go anywhere.”

“But you won’t touch me.” Placing my own hand over his chest, I could feel his heart beating beneath my fingers and the slight tremor. Whether it was the natural reaction I adored whenever my skin met his, or concerns preying on his nerves, I didn’t know. I simply accepted it, brushing back and forth as my nails skimmed over his chest. He allowed it for the briefest of moments before taking my hand and returning it to my side to prevent the caress from leading to more. The gulf between us seemed like an abyss. “I promise I won’t break.”

“I can’t be sure. This is safer, trust me. I love you, Darcy. It won’t be much longer and things can go back to the way they were.” Mason almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him things would never be the same.

Tired of waiting for him to give me what I needed, I took it for myself. Turning to my side, I removed my tank top, and let it fall to the carpeted floor.

“Darcy . . .” He was a mixture of conflicting emotions. There was no hiding his desire, his eyes flaring at the sight of my lacy bra yet he felt it was his duty to keep me from over exerting myself. Whether he liked it or not, I was going to show him it was my choice how we spent tonight; and I would always choose him.

“Kiss me. Forget what
might
happen and focus on right now." I tenderly cupped the side his face, peering into his deep blue eyes. “I want you to make love to me, Mason, and don’t you dare hold back. Show me that despite it all, the only thing that matters is our love. Remind me why risks should always be taken.”

“You have no idea what you’re asking,” he whispered, fear the driving force.

“I’m asking my husband to put aside his protective instincts and simply love me. If there was ever a time we needed to follow our hearts, regardless of what we think, it’s now. Don’t make me wait. I need to feel you inside me. I need that connection.” Tears filled my eyes, spilling over as they rolled down my cheek. “One night with no regrets. Just you and me.” I couldn’t stop rambling. If he didn’t kiss me soon, I was terrified he never would.

“If we’re going to do this, we’ll take it slow.”

“I don’t care, as long as you touch me. I’m not lying, Mason. I need you more than I’ve needed anyone in my life. Stop worrying about what tomorrow brings. Don’t let tonight slip by; it might be the last time we can ever experience our soul connection. Don’t let me leave you with that regret.”

“Then wipe away your tears, lover. Tonight we’ll create a memory we won’t ever forget.” All reservations left his face as a soft smolder filled his eyes, his mouth forming a seductive smile that already had my insides melting. Leaning in, taking his time to trace his hand over my bare shoulder, Mason kept constant contact. There was an intensity there that showed me he was letting go of his fear and laying it aside. He bound up what he felt he should do as my mate, and simply exposed his soul for me to see. Kissing me where his fingers had been, there was no hesitancy.

He was serious about making this night the most memorable of our entire courtship and marriage. The way his lips dragged up my neck and the soft touch of his tongue as he savored each sweet spot, told me that this moment would later define us. This would be how we remembered our devotion to each other. This would be when we truly became Mason and Darcy—soulmates forever.

I let out a deep sigh of appreciation, my toes curling as heated sensations began swirling inside me. Nipping at the underside of my chin, it wasn’t long before his lips found mine for a kiss that exceeded any we’d previously exchanged. There was no describing it, no words that could accurately convey how blissfully vulnerable, yet insanely possessive, it was. With that one kiss, Mason stamped his ownership over me; and, in return, as my tongue touched his, he relinquished his submission to me.

We belonged to each other so completely, irrevocably bound in heart, body, and spirit. This kiss was a celebration—a declaration that in spite of the odds, our love existed and would forever stand as a testament that such a love triumphed all adversity. His hand gently cupped below my ear, his fingers slightly tangled in my hair, and that mere action spoke volumes as Mason deepened his savoring and tasting of my mouth. In all things, he was thorough, his passion and desire fueled his ability to make me feel undeniably cherished.

The temperature between us began to rise. Despite his wish to keep things slow, our bodies wanted more, needed the growing fire to continue burning. There was always a split second where things appeared manageable; and then Mason moved, or his hand caressed a previously ignored spot of skin. It didn’t matter what type of movement it was. There was a recognizable moment when, just like the peak of a roller coaster, my breath would catch and suspend me in place before hurtling me over the edge.

Whether he was aware of it too, or caught up in his own emotions, that moment hit me with full force, leaving me with no other choice but to give in. It created a craving so deep, and a desperation so powerful that the desire to take what I wanted consumed me. There was no thought about weaknesses or maintaining my energy level. What I wanted from Mason would provide a more potent power that could satisfy me for a lifetime. Not waiting for him, I pushed him back onto the bed, grateful to find no resistance, as my hair feathered over his chest.

Licking him, moaning my approval at the slight salty taste of his skin, my body was on fire—demanding. I didn’t think about consequences, I merely acted, dragging my nails down his abdomen, marveling at how his muscles tightened and flexed from the contact. Everywhere I touched, he reacted; telling me I held all the power and he was mine. My mouth sampled everywhere, biting and sucking, leaving no place on his body ignored. Mason’s groans and growls fueled my own hunger, his hands buried in my hair, urging me on.

“Darcy,” he whispered, my name sounding beautiful on his lips. I reveled in the fact I’d made him sound that way. He moaned again, and it curbed the desire to explore him more. There was only one thing I wanted—yearned for. I wanted to be so close to him that it was impossible to know where he ended and I began.

There were connections, and then there were
connections.
Ours had never truly been solely physical, although we both knew what we did to the other. As he helped me position myself over him, straddling his strong hips, it was the fastening of our souls that proved, without a doubt, we would always be together. Even though I’d agreed to the Heart and Death, I’d known; even the Fates couldn’t change that one fact—Mason and I were one—and as his body slid into mine with that delicious feeling that heightened every nerve inside me, I knew this was what it meant to love and be loved.

“Oh, Mason,” I murmured, rocking my hips ever so slightly before his hands gently took hold of my waist and he began guiding me. This was who he was. He knew what I needed and where my limitations were. If it was hard to move, he helped; and as we both controlled the growing tempo, my head tipped back and tears began falling.

“Are you hurt? Do I need to stop?” He’d mistaken my emotions for pain and I shook my head.

“I love you, Mason O’Connor. I’m crying because of this. We are so beautiful together, fitting perfectly because our souls are two pieces of the same puzzle.” Continuing on my own, I picked up the pace, needing what was fast approaching. “For as long as I live, there will be no one but you. It will always be you.”

“Forever, sweetheart. Forever and always. Now let yourself go.”

There was no need for words. Our hearts blindly blazed through as our bodies moved. We were like finely tuned instruments being played by a beloved master, each pluck and strum creating exquisite music that resonated stronger as we both spilled over the edge and into euphoria. There was no weariness, only an infusion of indescribable joy.

This was who we were, who we would always be, and nothing would rob us of this perfect moment.

Slumping forward and resting on top of his chest, both of our hearts raced wildly as we slowly reclaimed control over our breathing. My body felt utterly boneless, as tingles and shivers continued pulsing through me.

“Thank you,” I mumbled softly, my ear pressed against his chest.

“What for?” Mason haphazardly traced his fingers up and down my side.

“For not holding back. For just being with me. I love you.” I tried to stifle a yawn, but he noticed it.

“You will always be mine, Darcy O’Connor. Now sleep.”

I didn’t fight him this time, even though I didn’t want to waste a single moment. But our lovemaking had taken a toll and, as my eyes dropped closed, the last thing I heard was him whispering he loved me.

****

I awoke with a start, unsure of how much time had passed, and finding Mason’s side of the bed empty. Panic filled me. He hadn’t roused me to let me know where he was going, so it made me worry that something had happened. Maybe Devlin wasn’t able to perform the conversion ritual and now they were scrambling for an alternative. If the idea of them having to kill me should I become insane frightened me, the thought that someone would darken their soul, the price for using dark magic, was even more disturbing.

Not giving into the doubts that surfaced, I put on a brave face, yawning as I sat up. I didn’t focus on the fact I was still tired, my body still not healing and, instead, slowly deteriorating. No, my full attention was on how deliciously sore I felt and the way my skin still warmed at the memory of Mason’s touches. Even though I was dying, I had never felt more alive. If this was it for me, I was glad we’d had the night together.

The door slowly opened, making me jump. Instead of Devlin coming for me, it was Mason, wearing a guilty look on his face. “Sorry, I was hoping I’d be back before you noticed I was gone.”

“Did something happen?” I asked, smiling as he slipped off his shirt and crawled back into bed with me.

“No. I needed to talk with the Pack and explain what was going on, because this will affect them, as well. I wanted to hear if any of them had any reservations or opposing beliefs. Better to know now than afterwards.”

My heart wanted to burst over the respect he extended those he watched over. “And?”