Forever Country (5 page)

During dinner, Mia and Momma plan the
Thanksgiving Day menu. Dad listens intently. Thanksgiving will be
on the farm. For as long as I can remember, Thanksgiving dinner has
only been on the farm. My parents always host the dinner. I think
it’s because Momma likes to cook, and it’s easier to have it here
as opposed to transferring all the food to another location.

After we eat dinner and
clean up the kitchen, Levi and Mia leave. Momma and Pops go to bed,
and I’m unable to sleep. I take my guitar out to the barn and prop
myself up in the corner on a hay bale. Strumming a few chords, I
close my eyes. I play a few country songs by Luke Bryan and Josh
Turner
.
When I
finally open my eyes, I have an audience staring at me. “Hey,
girl.” I stand and walk over to the midnight black mare watching
me. I pet her mane and she moves her head closer to me. “You like
music, girl?” I see a few apples and pick them up to feed her.
Watching her eat, I admire her beauty. All black with a white
diamond shape on her nose. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I give her one
last stroke and leave. I know there is another horse in the stable,
but he doesn’t come over.

The night is dark and cold.
The sky is clear and filled with stars, and a crescent moon. I soon
realize everything is so much clearer and cleaner in the country.
Living in the city, you don’t understand what pollution does to the
air.
Light pollution from such things as
streetlights also makes it hard to see stars. I stop on the porch
and take a seat on the step. I listen. Nothing but silence. I
reflect on the last decade of my life.

Savannah Mae

“
Momma, can we
please
put the tree
up?”

I stand and put my hand on my hip. “Sawyer
Jackson, what did Momma say?”

He frowns. “Not until after
Thanksgiving.”

I smile. My son was listenin’. “And why did I
say not until after Thanksgiving?”

He thinks for a minute and
raises a brow. “’cause
you’re not supposed
to rush the holidays.”

I walk over and kneel down to my son. “That’s
exactly right.”

“
Why not?” He frowns again
and crosses his small arms over his tiny chest.

I take Sawyer Jackson’s
hand and walk him over to the couch.
Because I don’t have money for a tree. Because I don’t know
where the money will come from for the gifts this year to put under
the tree.
I don’t say any of those things.
I set him on my lap in hopes the right words come to me. A smile
forms on my face when I look him in the face.
My beautiful baby boy.
“Because we’re
supposed to enjoy the holidays, not rush through them.”

“
We can still have
Thanksgiving with the Christmas tree up.”

He’s right, we
can
. “We can, but we aren’t. When
Thanksgiving is over, and not a day sooner, we’ll put the tree
up.”

“
Momma…,” he
whines.

“
Sawyer Jackson? If you
keep that up, we’ll wait until Christmas Eve. Do you understand
me?”

“
Yes, Ma’am.”

“
Good, go get your hat and
coat on, I need to run to the grocery store.”

A quick trip, we walk in,
and I attempt to pay off my credit debt, but Mrs. Campbell
says
,
“Savannah
Mae, I’m not showing a debt from you.”

I scoot closer to the customer service
window/ manager’s office window, and whisper, “Are you sure? I was
here the other day and told your husband I would bring the money
back in. I still owe $24 and change on my purchase.” The privately
owned store is too small to have a customer service desk; instead,
it has a manager’s office with a sliding glass window.

“
Ah yes, I remember that
day. I was here working. Your debt has already been taken care of.”
She smiles and I wonder did she and her husband erase the debt for
me. They own the non-franchise store and it wouldn’t surprise me if
they did that.

I look down at Sawyer Jackson and smile.
“Just a few more minutes, Buddy.” I adjust his hat and he readjusts
it after me. Holdin’ his hand, I look back up to the window. “No,
please don’t do that. I have the money to pay it.” I show her the
money I’m holdin’.

“
Savannah Mae, it wasn’t
me, dear. We had a visit from an Angel.”

I hold Sawyer Jackson’s hand tight. More
people are comin’ into the store, and the line behind me is gettin’
long. “Okay, thank you. I appreciate it more than you know.” I have
no idea who would have paid for my purchase. Ethan doesn’t have the
extra money and he didn’t even know I was short the other day.

“
Happy Thanksgiving,
Savannah Mae.” She smiles, and it’s a genuine, friendly
smile.

“
Thank you, and Happy
Thanksgiving to you, too.”

I drop off Sawyer Jackson
with his daddy before my shift at Peaches. I kiss and hug Sawyer
Jackson and wait at the door for Ethan to
answer my knock. This sure isn’t the life I had pictured for
myself.
I always thought Ethan and I would
be married forever, have two kids and some grandbabies, and grow
old together.

“
You know you can come in,”
Ethan says, opening the door.

Looking into the apartment, I fidget. “I
know, I need to get to work.”

Ethan leaves and when he returns he hands me
some money. “It isn’t much, but it should help you with some
bills.”

I reluctantly take the money and say, “Did
you find work?”

“
I sold the infant cradle
today.”

Ethan makes the best wooden furniture in
these parts. I swear it’s better than what the Amish folks make. I
remember the cradle he’s talkin’ about. Dark walnut wood with
spindle sides. “I hope it went to a good home.”

He smiles and nods. “It did.”

I look at the money again and it reminds me
of the grocery store. “Have you been in Campbell’s Food Town
lately?”

“
Not since the divorce. I
feel funny walkin’ in there. I get sympathy stares from Mr. and
Mrs. Campbell.”
It wasn’t him.
“Why?”

I fidget again. “They’re havin’ a sale on
meat this week,” I lie. I bite my lip to keep from spittin’ out the
truth that threatens to escape my mouth. “I need to go. Are you
sure you mean for me to have all of this?” I hold up the money for
him to see.

“
I’m sure.” He looks behind
him at Sawyer Jackson and looks at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
for us to end up like this.” He looks sad and tears threaten to
spill from my eyes.

I’m not sure what to
say.
Never in a million years did I think
my high school sweetheart and I wouldn’t be
together
. I swallow the lump in my
throat
. I try to dismiss the memory of
when I caught Ethan kissing Heather Sue under the maple tree last
year. It was the night of her birthday party. I walked home cryin’
and he came home drunk shortly after. I wasn’t able to get over it,
although he swore he didn’t do anything.
But kissin’ ain’t nothin’.

“
Well, you better get goin’
or you’ll be late for your shift.”

“
Thank you for the money.
If you need some…”

“
No, Savannah Mae. You take
it.” He takes his hand and pushes my hand with the money in it away
from him. “It’s for you, and our son.”

“
Thank you, Ethan.” I step
back and give him a sad smile. “I’ll be here in the mornin’ to get
Sawyer Jackson.”

“
Sounds good. Be careful
and if you need me, call me.”

“
I’ll be fine.” I peek into
the apartment and say, “Sawyer Jackson, I love you,
Buddy.”

“
Love you, too, Mamma.” He
runs up and hugs me goodbye, almost knockin’ his daddy
over.

During my shift, the
customers and the employees are all talkin’ about a local girl who
was murdered earlier this mornin’. I pick up the
Zanesville Times Recorder
and read the main headline: “Local girl found murdered outside
of County Line Bar.”

“
Are you
kiddin’?”

“
Where have you been? It’s
the talk of the town,” Cathy says.

I shiver at the news of such tragic news
hittin’ so close to home. I don’t have time to read the article
before we start to get busy. I don’t need to read the paper to know
what it says. I hear the story over and over again from the
customers. Cathy was right, it’s the talk of the town.

The girl, whose name is not bein’ released
yet, was found outside of the bar, by the wooded area in the back
parking lot. I overhear people say that Megan Rose hasn’t been seen
around town in a few days. I don’t ask any questions and I try to
not engage in any gossip.

Ethan and I used to frequent that bar when we
were married. It’s a nice place. Everyone in town goes there. I
can’t imagine who or why someone would have been murdered
there.

“
They don’t know who she
was?” I ask Cathy when the customers leave.

“
The paper’s not releasin’
her name, pendin’ notification of the girl’s family. But I heard
she was unrecognizable.”

I sit down before I fall down. “The chance is
very good we know her,” I whisper.

“
Who you tellin’? Everyone
knows everyone in this town. I heard Diane and Bobby say it was
Megan Rose. You remember her, don’t you?”

I can only nod. I do remember her. She went
to school with my sister, Samantha Marie. After my shift at the
diner, I walk into my lonely house. The house is small and at one
time, it felt too small. However, since my divorce, and with Sawyer
Jackson at his daddy’s, the house seems too large. After a shower,
I make a pot of coffee. After the news I heard at work tonight, I
doubt I’ll be able to sleep. I place a few logs into the fireplace
and go outside to sit on the porch. The air is crisp and cold, and
the neighborhood is dark and quiet. Work was busy and it feels good
to just listen to nothin’. I pull the quilted throw tighter around
me.

I sip on my hot coffee when I see a dark
shadow joggin’ down the street. It is out of the ordinary to see a
dark figure runnin’ this time of night. I should probably run
inside and lock the door, but I don’t feel threatened. I continue
to watch the figure in the dark hoodie jog closer.

The person stops when he gets in front of my
house.

What am I doing? I look up
and down the street and I don’t see anyone. Maybe it was a mistake
to sit on the porch. Maybe I should have run into the house and
locked up
.

The jogger lowers his hood before speaking.
“Can’t sleep, Savannah Mae?”

My heart beats hard and fast. I look closer
at the figure walkin’ into the street lighting. “Abel Lee.” I
smile. “Didn’t your momma ever tell you it’s not safe to be out
this time of night?”

He smiles, revealing perfectly white teeth
and a single dimple. “As a matter of fact, she did.” He walks
closer to me and stops when he reaches the steps leading up to the
porch.

“
And you chose to not
listen to her?” I take another sip of my coffee to try to hide my
smile.

“
Lots to do throughout the
day, so running at night
works out better
for me.” He takes a step closer and raises his right foot to the
next step.

“
Can’t sleep?” he
asks.

We make eye contact. “No. Sawyer Jackson’s
with his daddy, and I just got off work. Just enjoyin’ some quiet
time before bed.”

He nods. “Let me leave the pretty lady to her
quiet time then.” He lowers his foot to leave.

“
Would you like a cup of
coffee?”

I can see uncertainty in his eyes. He puts
his hand in his hoodie jacket pocket and says, “Are you sure?”

“
I wouldn’t have asked ya,
if I didn’t want the company.”

Abel

I have to think for only a second before I
answer. “I think I would, thank you, Savannah Mae.”

She stands up and drops the quilted throw she
was wrapped in on the wooden rocker she was sitting on. “Don’t just
stand there, c’mon up.” She motions with her hands for me to join
her on the porch. “How do you take your coffee?”

I walk up the three steps as she holds open
the screen door for me. “Black, please.”

She smiles and says, “I figured. Come in
while I get your coffee.” She holds the screen door wide open for
me.

“
Thank you.” I stand at the
door and wait as she disappears behind a beige wall. I look around
the room and notice the handmade walnut end tables, coffee table,
and the corner cabinet. The house is small and
comfortable.

The local newspaper is on
the coffee table, and I walk over to pick it up. I recognize the
bar on the front page and I read this headline: “Local girl found
murdered outside of County Line Bar.” I skim the article looking
for a name. There isn’t one.
Savannah Mae
reappears with a mug of black coffee.

“
Thank you,” I say as I
take it from her. “You have a beautiful home.”

She looks at me and raises a brow. “It’s
small and cozy, but beautiful? I’m not so sure.” She walks over to
the fireplace and adds another log. “Shockin’ news, isn’t it?” she
asks, looking at the newspaper I’m still holding.

I lay the paper down on the coffee table and
say, “It sure is. This is out of the ordinary for this area, isn’t
it?”