Forever Fall (10 page)

That evening Mandy stood in the doorway to the family room staring at the back of Luc’s head as he watched a baseball game on the TV, the remote resting in his right hand. Periodically, he would voice his opinion, sometimes in colorful terms, of an umpire’s call or the ineptitude of a player to catch or hit the ball. Obviously, he was totally absorbed in the action taking place on the big screen and unaware of her presence.

She wished she had something to occupy her to the extent that she could block everything out. But she didn’t. Ever since their conversation on the porch earlier that day, Mandy could think of nothing except Luc’s offer to listen.

Over the years, people—friends, neighbors, teachers, social workers, the police—had laughed at her, taunted her, gave her condescending attention, and even pretended to care only to prove they didn’t. Never, in all that time, had anyone sincerely offered to listen, really listen
 . . .
until Luc. Not that she expected him to shower her with sympathy. That wouldn’t change the past. Besides, she couldn’t stand any more sympathy. His feeling bad for her didn’t change her past.

She slipped into the room, still indecisive about what she would do or say now that she was here, and took a seat next to him on the big sectional. Finally, she decided that if she did tell him about herself, it might serve to help him to better understand why getting the baby simulators into the classes would be beneficial, and why it meant so much to her. If she could accomplish that, it would be worth pulling her dirty laundry out of the box in which she’d kept it hidden for so many years.

But how in blazes did one start a conversation like that? Perhaps something along the lines of
 . . .
So, Luc, let me tell you about my crappy childhood.
She glanced at him. He was so immersed in the game that she wasn’t sure he’d even detected her presence.
Bottom-line was, no matter how she initiated the conversation, first she had to drag his attention away from the baseball game.

“Good game?” she asked conversationally.

“It would be if they’d get their heads out of their—” He turned to her, his face creased in a sheepish grin. “Sorry. I get too wrapped up in the game sometimes.” His smile deepened, and Mandy’s heart leaped. “Where’s Shannon?”

“She went upstairs early. Between you and me, I think she’s exhausted from getting up with Joey last night and plans an early bedtime.”

Luc nodded, but made no comment and went back to watching the game.

Mandy sat silently staring at her folded hands, wondering how to divert the attention of someone so engrossed in a baseball game. The crack of the ball hitting the bat drew her gaze to the screen. As a runner crossed over the little white object in front of the man dressed in padding and a face mask, the crowd went crazy.

“Yes! Finally,” Luc yelled, punching the air with his fist.

“Does that mean he got a touchdown?” She wasn’t so ignorant of the sport that she didn’t know a touchdown from a homerun, but that should get his attention.

The screen went black. Luc laughed out loud, then laid the remote on the coffee table and turned to her. “I can see I’m going to have to educate you in the American male’s favorite pastime. First of all, they score touchdowns in football. That was a homerun.” Wide-eyed, she feigned understanding and nodded. He shifted his position to look directly at her. “Secondly, it was rude of me to ignore you in favor of the game.”

Mandy was stunned. Sports had never been an interest of hers, but she knew enough about men and their favorite teams that little if anything came between them and a game. This man was obviously an unusual guy. Little things about Luc that she could appreciate were piling up faster than she could count. In the process, the wall she’d kept around herself for years was showing signs of crumbling. The realization sent a shock wave through her, followed by a chill of fear. That wall had been her protection against relationships for so long, and without it she’d be left vulnerable.

As with most things in her life that she found troubling, she tucked it away until later when she could think it through to a solution. “Don’t let me interrupt. Please, go ahead and watch the game.”

He grinned. “I can catch the score on the news later. Besides, my team was losing miserably. I’d rather not be witness to the slaughter.” He stood. “It’s beautiful evening. How would you like to take a walk down by the lake with me?” He held out his hand.

“I’d like that.” Without thinking, she slipped her hand in his.

When her skin made contact with his, she had to catch her breath. Immediately, as if burned, she let go and then quickly preceded him out the door, her heart pounding so hard, it would be a miracle if it didn’t fly right out of her chest.

As they walked along
the shore of the lake, Mandy started second-guessing this idea. The setting came right out of a romantic, Hollywood chick-flick. The air was cool, yet not so cool that she needed a sweater. The smooth, moonlit lake stretched out before them like black silk swathed in streaks of liquid silver. A huge yellow moon hung in the sky surrounded by a faint sprinkling of sparkling stars. A soft breeze ruffled the trees. And a man, who was becoming far too important in her life, walked so close beside her she could feel his shoulder brush hers.

Talk about playing with fire!

For a long time they walked in silence. Soon they were far enough from the house that all she could see was the faint glow of light from Shannon’s bedroom window. Joey must be awake.

Luc leaned close to her. “Let’s sit and talk.”

She started, then nodded. “Okay.”

He cupped her elbow and guided her toward a large outcropping of rocks positioned so close to the shore that she could hear the water lapping gently against them.

Mandy boosted herself up on the biggest rock and turned so her feet dangled over the water. Luc sat beside her close enough that their thighs almost touched. Again, silence prevailed.

Mandy glanced up to see a shooting star streak across the night sky. “Look, a shooting star. Make a wish.” She closed her eyes and wished her life had been different. Maybe then she could trust these feelings she was having for Luc and allow herself to follow wherever they led. But that was not gonna happen. She couldn’t change what had already been. So the wish was wasted.

“I know what you wished for,” Luc said, his voice deep and too near her face.

She turned to him in surprise. “You do?”

“Yes. You wished to win this test.”

Mandy laughed. “You couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“No? Then what did you wish for?”

“If I tell you, it won’t come true.” But then it wouldn’t anyway. Besides, hadn’t she been searching for a way to tell him about her childhood? Perhaps the heavens had provided the perfect opening. As if in answer to her unvoiced question, another star shot across the sky. Still she couldn’t bring herself to start divulging her childhood.

“My turn to wish.” He closed his eyes, then opened them and turned to her. “Want me to tell you what I wished for?” A tiny smile teased at the corner of his mouth.

How she loved his smile. It spread through her like sunshine, leaving behind warmth and
 . . .
What? Finding no answer, she allowed the pleasant rush of emotions to wash over her. Some of the tension left her body. “If you want to, but remember, it may not come true if you do.”

“I wished that you’d tell me why winning this test is so important to you.”

She hesitated, staring deep into his eyes. “Were you being straight with me?” Studying his moonlit expression closely, she saw sincerity and caring reflected back at her. “Are you really a good listener?”

Instantly, his expression grew serious. “Absolutely. It’s part of my job to be one.”

Still she hesitated. Finding the words to tell him something she’d kept hidden away deep inside for so long wasn’t coming easily. Avoiding the subject altogether had been much simpler. But, she’d opened the door, and now she had to step through it.

She stared out over the lake, took a deep fortifying breath and began to talk. “I’m the product of a single parent home. I don’t know who my father is, and my mother never saw fit to share that information with me
 . . .
if she even knew. However, she wasn’t a bit backward about reminding me on a daily basis, either with words or attitude, that I’d ruined her life, and that she wished I’d never been born.”

She glanced at Luc out of the corner of her eye. His brows were drawn together in a frown, but he said nothing. Was the frown distaste? Disgust? Thoughtfulness? She couldn’t tell, so she plunged on.

“Until I was eighteen, I lived in the poorest section of town, which teetered on the edge of squalor, and learned very early how to survive on my own. My mother made what few dollars we had by
 . . . .
Let’s just say she was employed in the world’s oldest profession. Most of what she made went to buy her cigarettes and booze. My clothes came from the local thrift shop or church sales. My mother didn’t cook, so my meals came from anywhere I could find food. Sometimes, after I got older and was able to get a part-time job, I bought groceries and cooked for both of us.”

Luc drew in a sharp breath. “My God.”

She turned to him. “I’m not telling you this for sympathy. Believe it or not, I do have a purpose.”

“I’m listening.” He smiled. What she saw in his eyes was definitely not sympathy, and a blanket of warmth slid over her chilled body.

“I don’t want any other child or teenage mother to go through what my mother and I did. I don’t hate her. She had no resources, no family support, no idea about what to do with a baby. But, she shouldn’t have been in that situation to begin with. She never should have had a child. At least not at such a young age and with no idea of how to handle it. Perhaps, if someone had shown her the lifetime consequences of a few hours in the backseat of a car, she wouldn’t have risked it.”

He laid a hand on her arm. “I totally agree and have the utmost compassion for you and her, but I have to say that I’m very glad she had you.”

Mandy stiffened and didn’t know what to say. Tiny prickles of pleasure danced up her arm from where his hand lay. Something she couldn’t put a name to filled his deep voice and wrapped around her like a warm breeze on a cold night. The world seemed to shrink down to this rock on the edge of the lake and just the two of them.

The silence that had fallen between them was broken by the hooting of a big barn owl perched in a tree just behind them. As they turned in unison to look at it, it spread its wings wide and flew over their heads, then disappeared into the darkness.

Luc glanced after the retreating bird and laughed. “I think he agrees, and you can’t argue with the ancient wisdom of an owl.”

Mandy found herself smiling. “Anyway,” she went on, “the reason I’m telling you this is so you’ll better understand why I’m so passionate about getting the baby simulators into the family planning class. No teen should have their life stolen from them because they’re too immature to understand the long-term consequences of their actions. And no child should have to suffer simply because they were born at the wrong time.” She finally stopped talking and looked at Luc for a reaction. “This is probably difficult for you to really understand. You must have had a much different childhood.”

Luc released her hand, stood and then walked to the edge of the lake. “I had clothes on my back, three good meals a day and a roof over my head.”

Mandy frowned. What an odd way to describe his childhood. All material things. He’d said nothing about his parents. Maybe he didn’t have any. “Were you an orphan?”

He laughed sarcastically. “No. Not really.”

Not really? What did that mean?

“I don’t understand.” She waited for Luc to explain.

He shook his head and came back to the rock and sat down beside her. How could he complain when he’d had everything a kid could ask for: all the latest toys, good, nutritious meals, a wonderful education, clean, new clothes, and homes that were more than comfortable even if they were scattered all over the country? She’d lived without all these things.

However, from what she’d said, they did have one thing in common
 . . .
neither of them had had the love and affection of caring parents. And, in the end, being deprived of that made all the rest insignificant.

Just then, his cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, flipped it open and glanced at the illuminated screen. Asa Watkin’s number. The very last person he wanted to talk to now. He closed it and replaced it in his pocket.

Though not taken, the call gave birth to a vivid reminder of his deal with Asa. Suddenly, what Luc was trying to do so he could keep his job left a very sour taste in his mouth. He was sure that very soon he’d have to make a choice between his settled lifestyle, his job and the welfare of the teens in his charge. And now he realized that if he made the wrong decision, he’d lose Mandy, and that tore at him in a very unexpected way.