Forever Girl (32 page)

She walks out the door and I call to Cage.

“Ma’am is there anything I can do for you?” He says to me as he walks in the door.

“I just don’t want to be alone in the room.”

He shakes his head okay and takes a seat next to the bed. As I’m falling back asleep I hear him texting and I think thank goodness someone’s here with me. I feel better knowing I’m not alone in this room. I wake a couple of hours later I turn to see Cage isn’t next to me. I start to breath hard again and I try to get my breathing under control but I have tears coming down my face. Dean opens the door to my room and he sees me and rushes to me.

“What’s wrong Baby?” He says as he rushes to me.

I try to get my breathing under control.

“I woke up and Cage was gone. I don’t want to be alone.”

He gets in my bed and wraps me up as I cry.

“Cage just left and that’s probably what woke you up. You won’t be left alone again baby. Someone will be in this room until you get out the hospital. I’m sorry I was talking outside of the room with Cage. From now on someone will be in the room at all times baby.” He says to me as he gets into the bed next to me.

I snuggle deeper into him and he does the breathing technic with me that Thorpe showed us yesterday.

“Thorpe has asked a doctor to come talk to you about what you experienced. He and I both feel that you need to do this and I’ll be with you the whole time.” He says as he looks at me.

“Do you really wants to hear what happened to me.”

“I don’t want to know baby I need to know so that I can help you heal. Then we can move on to the next phase of our lives together.” He says and I know that he means it.

“It doesn’t matter what you say my love. I love you baby and nothing will ever change that.” He says as he has his arms wrapped around me to give me the support he knows I need.

“I’m worried that you’ll not want me sexually again because I’m not longer just yours.”

He grabs my face and he tells me “You are and will always be only mine. What was done to you will never change that. You don’t need to ever have those thoughts about me not want you because that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

“You’re my forever girl always and forever baby.” He says then lightly kisses my lips.

    Dr. Armstrong comes in and talks to me for about an hour and a half. I tell her everything that happened from the moment I was kidnaped until I was found under the porch by Dean. I cried and so did Dean. I tell her how I feel that I’m feeling all these different emotions and I don’t feel my spark anymore. She tells me that it’s normal to feel all these things.

“I’m scared when I wake up and in those first thirty seconds I think I’m back in that cabin and this is the dream. I knew I was going to die. I knew I was never going to see my babies grow up and get married and have children of their own. I knew I was never going to marry Dean or see my best friend find her one and only. I knew I would never see my dad again and tell him that I was proud to be his daughter, or see my papaw and mamaw again tell them that I always dreamed of having grandparents like them. I had come to terms with never getting those things and now how do I except that I’m alive and I’ll get all those thing now. How do I forget the revelation I had knowing I was going to die? How can I go back to having everything in the world be right again? I was beaten by my mother to the point of most of the damage that was done was by her. Pete raped me knowing that I was his own brother’s daughter and he did it wanting my daddy to know he did that. How do I look at my mamaw and tell her that he defiled me? Or the fact that he has wanted to fuck me since I was sixteen? The only reason he didn’t do it then is because Dean moved in next door to me. He told me that he watched Dean and I make love my first time through the window. He’s the one that put Ali up to breaking us up and he was going to make me his until he found out I was pregnant. Then he didn’t have access to me any longer. Pete told me he was going to destroy my insides and that he and I would have the knowledge of knowing he would be the last man in me. How do I move on from these things?”

“It’ll take time and you have to remember that you survived and you came out victories. You have a choice you can be a victim or you can be a survivor but it’s up to you which one you want to become.” She says to me.

“I don’t want to be a victim.”

“It’ll take work and it won’t happen overnight but I’ll help you get to a place where you’re okay. Then you’ll get to a place where you can put this experience away and be able to move forward with your life. I’ll be coming to your home for an hour session three days a week until you’re mobile. Then we can meet at my office or we can continue the home visits.” She responds.

“At this point I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere for a couple of months. I don’t want to put any added stress on my baby.”

“I understand Lyric. I’ll see you Monday at 11 at your house.” She tells me as she is getting her things and leaving my room.

After she leaves Dean looks at me with his eyes still red from the tears he shed.

“You’re the strongest person I know baby. I’m the proudest man in the world to have you be my woman.” He tells me.

He kisses me and snuggles his face into the crook of my neck and breathes me in. I whisper to him that I love him.

Chapter 36

Lyric

    I had to stay in the hospital for a week after I woke up. I’ve been home for almost a month and I’m going fucking stir crazy. I want to get the fuck out of this house and off this fucking couch. I’ve been stuck on this fucking thing or in my fucking bed and I’m so ready to be done with this shit. I take a deep breath and tell myself it won’t be that much longer and I’ll be able to move around without pain. I know I’m grouchy and I need to remember that I’m really not annoyed with anyone. I’m just healing and can’t do anything but rest for another two days. I’ll go to the doctor and they’ll release me from bed rest. I swear I’ve read twenty books and I’ve done a couple of dozen word searches and I can now see the end of the tunnel.

     I’m laying here thinking about the last month. I think about the second day I was home and the twins had just gone to bed. Dean and dad where hanging out on the couch with me and I decide that I really need to know who killed Ali and Pete. I clear my throat and I tell them I have some questions I need to ask.

“Who killed Pete and Ali and how did you find me so quickly? Dean looks at dad and they both look at me.

“Pete killed Ali. She was found by some hunters a month later. Pete was dead when we got there. From the autopsy report it stated that when you kneed him in the nose a piece of his bone lodged into his brain.” Dad tells me.

“I killed him?” I ask with a dumbfounded look on my face.

“It was self-defense and you won’t be charged with any crimes.” Dean says to me as they both look at me to watch my reaction.

I laugh and have to grab my sides and the pillow’s being crushed to my chest trying to absorb some of the pain I’ve caused myself. They both jump up ready to take some kind of action and I wheeze out that I’m fine.

“I was jealous of the person that killed Pete because I wanted to be the one that caused his death. Now that I know that I’m in fact the one that killed him I have no regrets and I don’t have any feelings about it anyway. I don’t have any feelings about Ali being dead either. I feel that they got what they deserved.”

Dean and dad look at me and shake their heads as to say they understand.

“There’s more we need to tell you. Marley helped them by getting the supplies and offering you up to them. She overheard you and Jess talking about going to the bookstore and she knew you would be alone.” Dean says to me.

My anger sparks and I want to fucking murder her. Dean puts his hand on my good leg.

“She was arrested that night. She was sentenced to twenty-five years for her part in the kidnaping. She signed her parental rights to the baby over to Stick.”

“At least the baby will have a chance at a normal life without that vindictive cunt whore around.” I say to them both.

“I’m glad I never have to see her cunt ass face again.” I say to the both of them after I release my pent up breath.

They both laugh at my words and I give them a smile. 

    I come back from my memory and I start to read my kindle. I feel the baby as it kicks me and realize that I’m seventeen weeks and feeling the baby not just fluttering is amazing. I yell for Dean to get down here because I want him to feel our baby move in me. He come rushing down the hall with that damn gun.

“What is it? Are you okay?”

“Put the gun on the mantel and come here. Sit down next to me for a minute honey.” I say to him as I’m shaking my head.

He sits and has the what the fuck look on his face.

“What’s wrong babe?” He says to me again.

“Everything’s fine; better than fine actually.”

I lift my shirt and put his hand on my stomach.

“Baby, it’s time to show daddy the trick you just did for momma.”

Just as I finish talking to the baby kicks Deans hand. I smile so big and I look at Dean. He looks at me and then at my stomach and I shake my head confirming that the baby did just kick. He moves his hand and gets off the couch. He get on his knees and puts both hands to my stomach; then he brings his face down level with my stomach and starts to talk to our baby.

“I knew that you were going to be strong just like your momma. I love you very much and you’ll always be protected.” He says to my stomach with such fierce protection, pride, and love.

The baby kicks and moves a little bit more and then goes back to sleep. He takes his hands away from my stomach and brings them to my face. He kisses me hard but lovingly at the same time.

“I love you baby. You’re amazing and I thank the powers that be every day for you.” He says to me as he puts his forehead against mine.

“I love you too honey. You’ve gotta stop running around this house with your gun. Please go lock it up before the twins get home.” I say as I smack him in the shoulder.

“I’ll probably never stop running to you with a gun when you scream but I’ll be more mindful. I know that nobody can get in here without the sensors going off.” He laughs.

He kisses my lips and gets up to take care of the gun and I settle back into my book.

“Are you excited to get your clearance from the Doc tomorrow? He asks as he picks me up to take me to bed.

“I’m fucking thrilled to be getting off of complete bed rest. I know that he’ll be putting me on light duty and that means I won’t be able to be on the go. I’ll be able to get out of the house and go visit people instead of being stuck in the bed or couch all the time and I’ll be able to help make dinner and walk outside and be able to walk around in general without being scolded by everyone.”

“I love you even when your being a grumpy ass.” He says with a laugh and kisses the side of my face.

“It’s all fun and games until I’m able to get to you.”

“You won’t be doing any chasing until our little one comes into the world baby.” He laughs.

I huff because I know he’s right.