Forever Is Over (13 page)

“
And how old are you, Herr Sister?
”

He was saying it as though I was German.
I lied. No point me joining Kelly in the cell.

“
Nineteen
”
.

“
As a responsible adult then, should you not have been looking after
this one?
”

He was starting to annoy me now too.

“
I spend my life looking after her.
”

“
Perhaps you should start doing a better job
”
.

“
It
’
s not my fault she
’
s drunk!
”

Kelly protested,

“
Jemma! I AM NOT DRUNK! Even nipple head isn
’
t saying I
’
m
drunk! You
’
re making this worse!
”

“
I am not!
”

“
Yes, YOU ARE!
”

The policeman sighed. He turned his hand over so his palm was
collecting rain, then used it to gesture at me and then at Kelly.

“
Older sister. Younger sister. Both arguing. Both not wearing much.

Both smelling of a
lcohol. Both probably under age
.
In my eyes, not a
good example! I have no choice in the matter, we all need to go to
…”

             
I was ready to flip. I was all set to push him over and shout
“
RUN!
”
I could mentally picture Martin screeching up the road pursued by a
gigantic copper waving his truncheon, then it happened, the god of
disastrous sex must have looked down at me and decided he had his
own plans for me, that it was time to intervene. The police car of our
favourite law enforcer was parked up on the opposite side of the road
to Martin
’
s Escort, Ormskirk facing. Despite the rain, the window of
the passenger side door was open and all of a sudden the control desk
came calling.
“
Blue Ferringo
”
stopped mid-sentence, ran over to his car
and stuck his head through the window. We couldn
’
t hear a word that
was said to him, but he muttered an extended version of
“
F in scum!
”
to himself, took a few steps back, then ran full pelt at his car, jumped
through the open window like a stretched out version of a Duke of
Hazzard, clambered over to the driver
’
s side, switched his sirens on
and sped off.

Kelly and I stood for a few seconds under that bus shelter in stunned
silence before she spoke,

“
I
’
m as innocent as the Birmingham Six!
”

“
Well you could have been introducing yourself to them, if that
copper hadn
’
t been called away! Come on, Kelly, get in the car! There
’
s
a group of disappointed lads in Halsall worrying that I may not be turning up!
”

On the way to Halsall, Kelly would not shut up! Her adrenalin was
obviously still pumping after her brush with the law and she recounted

her whole tale to Martin and Amy from beginning to end. Vomit
Breath was off out to the Kingsway in Southport, clubbing as usual, so
Kelly had already known that she would have to make plans to avoid
me babysitting. She had arranged to go to Kirsty Murray
’
s, a friend
from school, who lived near the Eureka pub, just off Asmall Lane. The
arrangement had been for Kelly to stay
for her tea, then at about ten
o
’
clock when Vomit Breath would definitely be out, she was going to
return home in a taxi. She knew I would be back before Vomit Breath
and that VB would be too drunk to check on us when she came in, so
no questions would be asked. Working in conjunction with Kelly, I had
already told Vomit Breath that I was going to the cinema and that I had
made arrangements to pick Kelly up on my way home. I trusted Kelly so
had no concerns that she could not look a
fter herself for a few hours

             
Kelly
’
s side of the plan did not run smoothly. After passing my
clothes and make-up to Amy, she headed to Kirsty
’
s and had her tea
there as intended. She was all set to stay there until ten, but Kirsty
’
s
Mum had taken a call from her sister to say their Mum, Kirsty
’
s Nan,
had taken ill. Her Nan had angina and she was complaining of chest
pains so they were all concerned her eighty five year old body might be
calling time. Kelly said there was a lot of anxious scurrying around the
house and although Kirsty
’
s Mum said Kelly was welcome to accompany
them up to Burscough, Kelly felt she would be surplus to requirements
and lied convincingly that her own Nan would be more than happy
to see her in Aughton.
“
Tut
”
didn
’
t live in Aughton, she lived in West
Kirby, thirty miles away, but obviously Kirsty
’
s family didn
’
t know
that!

So, as Kirsty
’
s family all sped off in their Vauxhall Astra GTE,
Kelly decided to sit down at the bus shelter, fifty metres from Kirsty
’
s
house, collect her thoughts and decide where to go. It was too early to
go home just in case Vomit Breath was still there having some pre-night
out drinks with her the
“
Halitosis Horrors
”
, as we had christened her
fat, ugly friends.
Kelly says that as she ran into the shelter to avoid the wind and rain,
she knocked over a can of cider that had been left there by a drunken
litter lout. She picked it up and gave it an
inquisitive sniff, but as she
was about to put it in the bin, the copper collared her. To be honest,
as far as I was concerned this was the biggest cock and bull story since
Foghorn Leghorn (the Looney Tunes Rooster) went to Spain to become
a matador! There is no way in the world Kelly would have just been
sniffing a cider can. She was probably drinking it in Kirsty
’
s bedroom
and then smuggled it out when she left. This was the least of my concerns
though. I was more concerned with what to do with her now. Martin
pulled up about a hundred metres from the Birch
’
s house, windscreen
wipers still working overtime, as we weighed up our options. A thirteen year old girl did not belong at a party held by three lads aged between
sixteen and twenty one.

“
Amy, do you think your Mum would mind if Kelly stopped at your
house?
”

“
No, she
’
d be fine.
”

“
Shall we send her back with Martin then?
”

Kelly wasn
’
t impressed. She was in the front and turned around and
gave us daggers.

“
Hey you two! Stop talking about me as if I
’
m an overnight b
ag! I
don
’
t want to go back to Amy
’
s! Can I not just come to the party with
you?
”

Amy and I both replied in tandem,
”
NO!
”

Kelly was blossoming into a crafty bitch.

“
Well you two will have to come back with me then.
”

“
Why?
”

“
Martin
’
s a bit creepy. I don
’
t fancy the idea of a twenty minute car
journey in the dark with him. No offence, Martin.
”

“
Kelly, you can
’
t say that!
”

Neither Kelly or Martin appeared perturbed by her statement.

“
I just have! Sorry Martin, I don
’
t really know if you
’
re creepy or
not but you do look a bit creepy! Now if I go back to yours in the car, I
’
ll probably find out you
’
re very nice, but what if I don
’
t? No-one will
hear my screams on those lonely back roads!
”

Again Amy and I, in tandem, exclaimed,
“
Kelly!
”

I think we were both shocked she had the gall to come out with
something like that but also, deep down, we were aware she had a point!

Martin was a bit weird! He was probably just quiet but, hand on heart,
I wouldn
’
t like him to drive me home to Ormskirk from Halsall either.
Like Amy, he was small and red headed, but he wore glasses, had severe
acne and had one continuous eyebrow that stretched across his face like
a foxes tail.

Amy whispered to me,

“
What should we do?
”

“
How do you think it will look if she comes into the party with us?
”

“
Very uncool!
”
Amy stated

“
What if we smuggle her in?
”
I suggested, but Amy was not
pleased.

“
Smuggle her in!
Are you joking? What in? A dustbi
n?
What are
we going to do, get Ted Rogers to come with us and distract everyone
with his 3-2-1 hand signs?
”

“
Don
’
t be daft. She could just follow us in a couple of minutes after
we go in.
”

“
And what would she say? That she was just in the neighbourhood
?
What the hell would she be doing in Halsall! Maybe she could say she
just popped over to milk the cows and shear the sheep!
”

Amy
’
s tone was now full of sarcasm, irritation and annoyance.

“
Amy, I have no idea. I am just trying to think what to do. Getting
annoyed with me is not helping a single bit. I wasn
’
t planning for us to
bring Kelly
”

We hadn
’
t even reached the party and already it had been a weird
night. Two of the kindest, most laid back people in the world were
completely losing their cool. I hadn
’
t seen Amy or Kelly lose control
before and here they were, both losing it on the same night.

Amy sighed,

“
Jemma, I know it
’
s not your fault. I
’
m just annoyed we didn
’
t think
to take Kelly to my Mum
’
s when we found her in Ormskirk rather than
bring her all the way out here and then try to decide what to do with
her.
”

Martin, normally a man who, if he said a few words, would have been
described as having a talkative day, now decided to join the debate.

“
Do you want to know what I think?
”

Amy looked at him as if his bowels had just moved. I was more
receptive, we were stuck in a hole and if Martin had a spade that was
fine with me.

“
Why not, Martin? Hit us with it!
”