Forever Safe (Beacons of Hope) (35 page)

She released another sigh that informed him she was happy again. He loved how quickly she could put aside her concerns and easily trust that everything would work out, even though he wasn’t sure how.

Her fingers skimmed up his shirtsleeves, leaving a trail of heat on his arms. Suddenly, all he could think about was the fact that she’d survived and that she was his.
His.
Finally. He drew her body against his, which may have been a mistake because he was keenly aware of her nearness and how exquisite she was.

One hand glided up her back to her neck and the other to her cheek. He positioned her head so that he could bend in and claim her lips with all the desperateness that had overcome him earlier when he’d thought she was dead. His touch was neither gentle nor chaste. It was hungry and full of all the need for her that he’d denied for too long.

She rose on her toes to meet him, greeting his kiss with one as ardent as his. She didn’t hold back.

Through the haze of his passion, he heard the clatter of carriage wheels coming from the direction of Provincetown. From the rapid speed, he guessed the newcomer was either Arch or Nathaniel. Or both. He knew he should stop kissing Victoria before anyone arrived. She’d be embarrassed to be caught kissing him so fervently. It was unladylike and even scandalous.

But he didn’t want to stop. He wanted Nathaniel to see them together. He wanted Nathaniel to see Victoria kissing him in a way that she never had him.

He tipped her head back so that he had access to her neck. He broke away from her lips and moved to her lovely exposed throat. He kissed her jaw line and dipped to the spot below it, feeling the thud of her pulse and the heat of her skin.

From the corner of his eye, he could see that Arch was driving the wildly careening vehicle, which meant Nathaniel was riding as a passenger. As the carriage jerked to a stop, Tom captured Victoria’s lips again. After his teasing kisses upon her neck, she was ready for him and responded with an ardor that would surely show Nathaniel who her choice was.

The horse’s snorting and the banging open of the carriage door didn’t seem to penetrate Victoria’s passion. She was lost in their kiss. Tom waited until he heard Nathaniel’s feet hit the gravel, and then he counted mentally to five before he released her.

She didn’t immediately pull away and would have moved to kiss him again, except that he turned her slightly. “We have company,” he whispered and nodded toward the new arrivals.

Her first glance was disinterested. But when she looked again and understanding lit her eyes, she broke away from him. He wrapped his arm around her waist, not intending to let her distance herself too much. She was his now. He hoped Nathaniel had gotten the message, but just in case he hadn’t, Tom would make sure he understood.

Thankfully, Victoria didn’t protest his need to stake his claim on her. Instead, she sidled into the curve of his arm.

Nathaniel’s eyes were wide and bounced back and forth between him and Victoria. Confusion floundered across his face. His mouth was open as if he wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say.

Arch didn’t move from the high driver’s seat of the carriage. But his broad shoulders visibly relaxed. Tom was sure Arch had assessed the situation as rapidly as he would have. The lone horse, the broken door, and Butch unconscious and tied up on the ground. Seeing that Victoria was standing and unharmed, Arch was content. In fact, Tom caught a glimpse of humor in Arch’s eyes, as though he suspected what Tom was doing and why.

Nathaniel’s eyes, however, had no humor in them, only hurt and surprise. “Victoria? I don’t understand.”

Tom felt the slight tremble in her arm as she wound it behind his back. “I love Tom.”

“But you love me,” Nathaniel stammered. “We’re getting married.”

Victoria shook her head slowly, almost sadly. “I’m sorry.”

Nathaniel searched her face, and his shoulders sagged as though he realized he was defeated. Perhaps he’d suspected it all along but was finally admitting it.

A shard of guilt pricked Tom. He owed Nathaniel an apology for sending the telegram and allowing him to believe Victoria wanted to resume the wedding plans. Even though the deception had revealed Theresa as the culprit, Tom probably could have figured out a way to gain Nathaniel’s participation in the process without setting him up for this kind of pain.

At the very least, Tom hoped Nathaniel would recover from his heartbreak quickly, and hopefully one day find another woman he could love as much as Victoria. He was a good man, but he had to realize by now that Victoria wasn’t the right woman for him. Tom guessed that if she’d gone through with the plans to marry Nathaniel, she would have run away from the ceremony, like she had every other time she’d attempted marriage. In fact, if Tom hadn’t intervened on her wedding day back in June, Victoria wouldn’t have made it to the carriage.

She hadn’t ever had the right man. And now she did. She had him. And this time, at their wedding, she’d have no reason to run.

V
ictoria stood on the Provincetown dock and tried not to keep glancing with too much longing at the town behind her. The August morning was overcast and a brisk wind blew off the ocean. But even with the threat of rain and the gloomy gray of the low clouds, the view of the town with its neat rows of plain white houses, small shops, and austere hotel somehow seemed homey and welcoming. Even the salty fish odor emanating from the rows of drying cod didn’t nauseate her the same way it had the first day she’d arrived.

She realized that her perception had changed a great deal during the past weeks. She’d thought this seaport town on the tip of Cape Cod was dingy, run-down, and with little to offer a woman like her.

How mistaken she’d been. Now she saw it as a place where she could live simply without focusing so much on herself and what she could get out of life. Away from the busyness and the glamor of society, she could take a look at herself and try to discover who she really was.

“You’re absolutely sure I can’t persuade you to come back to Newport?” Nathaniel asked again, standing in front of her near the gangplank. He was attired in an elegant green and brown promenade suit and a matching hat that highlighted his green eyes. His fly-away hair was shorter than usual and his mustache was neatly trimmed.

“As much as I truly adore you, Nathaniel,” she said as she adjusted her parasol. “I’m simply not the woman you need.”

“I think you are,” he said in that same anguished tone he’d used before when trying to convince her to go through with the wedding.

She shook her head, once again feeling the weight of guilt for not having seen the incompatibility in their relationship much sooner. Even if she’d never met and fallen in love with Tom, she should have had enough sense to realize that she’d cared about Nathaniel for selfish reasons—for how he made her feel, what he gave her, the life he could provide, and how his status reflected so positively on her.

That wasn’t to say that she hadn’t cared about him, because she had. She’d enjoyed spending time with him. They’d had fun together. He’d been tender and sweet and considerate and giving. If she’d stayed with him, she might have had an easy life.

With Tom, she was sure to have more challenges. But she felt complete with him. He balanced her weaknesses. She didn’t have to pretend to be anyone but herself. He saw the good and the bad in her and accepted her regardless.

“Oh, Nathaniel,” she said, “you’ve been the perfect gentleman and lavished me with your gifts and love. But I haven’t appreciated all of your attention the way a woman ought to.”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“I know God has someone better for you. Someone who will need all you have to offer and will love you deeply in return.” She’d already returned his engagement ring, for the second time. And she planned to return all of the other jewels he’d given her during their courtship. She didn’t need them and prayed he’d find someone else to give them to soon.

She motioned to Arch, who was standing guard at the end of the dock. He had his arms crossed over his giant frame and scowled at any of the fishermen at the drying racks who stopped their work to stare at Victoria.

Even though her captors were in jail, Arch and Tom had both insisted that she have a bodyguard at all times. At least until they made sure Theresa and her family were brought to justice. Even now, Theresa was locked in a berth on the steamboat. Tom and Arch had already questioned her and learned that Theresa’s father had conspired with his daughter to prevent Victoria from marrying Nathaniel so that Theresa could have the chance. She admitted to having been behind Arch’s stabbing, that she’d purposefully dropped her glove and gone back to retrieve it so that Victoria would be by herself and more susceptible to an attack. It was the same tactic she used by leaving her grandmother’s earring behind in the hotel.

Every time Victoria thought about her friend, she wanted to weep for not only the loss of a friendship but also for what would become of Theresa once her crimes were made public. Her striving to improve herself had brought about her downfall instead of the elevation she’d sought.

The sad situation was all the more reason Victoria wanted to break free of the constraints of the world she’d grown up in. If the desire to climb higher led people in her social circles to consider kidnapping and murder, then clearly that world had too much control over them.

Victoria had tried to speak to her friend earlier in the morning when the sheriff had accompanied Theresa from the jail to the waiting steamer.

“I’m sorry for not being a better friend,” she’d said as she walked with Theresa up the gangplank. “If I hadn’t been so focused on myself, I would have seen that you cared for Nathaniel.”

Arch had tried to tell her that Nathaniel wouldn’t have cared for Theresa in return. Not even if Victoria had given him up much sooner. But Victoria still couldn’t absolve herself of the guilt. If she’d been more sensitive and less selfish, she might have seen Theresa’s hurt earlier and prevented all of the problems.

Arch’s heavy steps approached her and his gaze told her that it was time to go. “Ready for this?” He held out the item she’d decided to bring along.

Victoria let her fingers linger over the grainy wood. As she’d prepared to see Nathaniel off, she’d asked Arch for a suggestion of something to give Nathaniel to ease his pain, to let him know that even if she couldn’t marry him, she still cared about him.

Arch had nodded at her driftwood cross on the bedstead in her hotel room. Several years ago, she’d told Arch the story behind the cross, the same story her mother had written in a letter when she’d been separated from her father, not knowing what the future would bring, especially in relation to her blindness. During that time, her mother had learned not to place her hope in her circumstances or a man, both of which would change. But she’d learned instead to hope in the one Beacon that would always be there, no matter what darkness came her way.

It was finally time to pass the mementoes along to someone else who needed hope more than she did.

She traced the pattern of the cross one last time. Then she held out the treasure to Nathaniel. “I want you to have this.”

“Your cross of hope?” The surprise in his expression told her that he knew how much it meant to her.

“Read the letter that goes with it.”

“But the cross is your mother’s.”

“I know she’d approve of me giving it to you.”

Nathaniel studied the wood, which had cracked and lightened with age. The cross certainly wasn’t anything spectacular. Most men in Nathaniel’s position of wealth would have thought it a mere trifle.

When he looked at her again, his eyes were resigned but gentle. “I’ll take good care of it.”

“I know you will.”

It was his turn to reverently finger the wood that had weathered many wrecks. Victoria prayed it would help him through this new wreck she’d made for him. “I’m sorry, Nathaniel,” she said again, as she already had numerous times since he’d caught her kissing Tom yesterday. She wasn’t sorry for kissing Tom, but she was sad she’d hurt Nathaniel.

He lifted a gloved hand to her cheek. “You’re not entirely to blame, darling.” He tenderly stroked her skin. “I think I always knew that you weren’t mine, even though I tried hard to hold on to you and not let you get away.”

A light drizzle had begun to fall. The breathy whistle of the steamboat rising amidst a cloud of white vapor alerted them that the captain was ready for departure. Around them, the shore was nearly deserted. Any passengers leaving on the
Blue Belle
had already boarded.

Nathaniel drew his finger down her cheek one last time before dropping his hand. “Good-bye, Victoria.”

She rose on her toes and quickly kissed his cheek. Then she strode away before she made a fool of herself and began to cry. She wasn’t sure why she had the sudden surge of emotion at his departure. Perhaps because his leaving signified that she was cutting herself off from her old life. He had been her final link, and by turning him away, she was choosing a new course. That was more than a little scary, and she wished Tom were with her to assure her that she’d made the right decision.