Forever Too Far (16 page)

Not clearly but I did remember her. I remembered her smile and her laugh. She used to make me feel

happy as a little boy. The smell of her pancakes made me feel safe. Knowing my son was gonna have

a mother like that brought tears to my eyes. He’d have what I didn’t. Something I’d only had a taste of.

“What did I say?” Blaire asked pausing as she noticed the unshed tears in my eyes I couldn’t seem to

control. Dammit.

“I was just thinking that my son was going to have the mother that I never got a chance to have. Your

mom was special enough that her memory stuck with me,” I admitted.

Blaire’s eyes filled up with tears and she grabbed my face and kissed me. Her soft lips opened and

her tongue slid into my mouth hungrily. Right here in front of everyone. This wasn’t like her but I

would take it. I started to kiss her back just as passionately when she pulled back enough so that she

could look at me. Her hands still held my face. “I love you, Rush Finlay. You are going to be the best

husband and father the world has ever known. One day our son’s wife will be thankful that her

husband will have had you for a role model. She’ll be lucky because of you. Because you will have

raised our son to be the man that you are. He’ll love her completely because he’ll know how.” She

choked on a sob and pressed her lips to mine again and I cradled her in my arms as I enjoyed having

her so determined to reassure me that I was a good man. Nothing in life was as precious as this

woman. It never would be. I’d found my happiness.

Bethy kissed me on the cheek then pulled something out from behind her back. A small silver package

with Rush’s familiar scrawl on the note was being held out to me. “Rush wanted to provide you with

your something old,” she explained.

I hadn’t tried to get any of those things. I had forgotten about that tradition. Smiling, I took the package and opened it. Inside was a very expensive looking pearl ring. The silver band it was on was elegant

and engraved. I held it up to see the engraving. It said, “My love” in it. That too was old. Not

something Rush had done.

A small note lay tucked beside it. I picked it up and opened it.

Blaire,

This was my grandmother’s. My father’s mother. She came to visit me before she passed away. I

have fond memories of her visits and when she passed on she left this ring to me. In her will I was

told to give it to the woman who completes me. She said it was given to her by my grandfather who

passed away when my dad was just a baby but that she’d never loved another the way she’d loved

him. He was her heart. You are mine.

This is your something old.

I love you,

Rush

I sniffed and Bethy did too. I glanced over at her and she was beside me reading the note. “Damn,

who knew Rush Finlay could be so romantic,” she said and sniffed again.

I knew. He’d shown me that more than once. I slipped the ring on my right hand and it fit perfectly. I

figured this was not a coincidence. Smiling, I looked over at Bethy. “Thank you for everything,” I told

her.

She hugged me and nodded. “I should be thanking you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” Before I

could say more she ducked out of the room with a final wave.

I turned to look into the mirror to study myself. The pearl colored satin gathered over my breasts

stayed up without straps thanks to my pregnant cup size. The waistline was high and right under my

breasts and was covered in a million tiny pearls. Over the satin was a layer of chiffon that hung

loosely in an A line until it hit a few inches above my knees. I’d chosen to go barefoot since I had to

walk on the sand. My toenails had been painted a pale pink to match the rose petals scattered on the

aisle.

A knock on the door startled me and I turned to see Harlow step into the room. She was holding a

small box. “You look like a princess,” she said, smiling.

“Thank you,” I replied. I felt like one.

“I have something from Rush. He wanted to be the one to supply your something new,” she said and

handed me the small gift. “I’d leave but I think you’ll need my help.”

I took the box and opened it quickly, excited to see what it was he had sent up here to me this time.

Nestled inside was a delicate gold chain with several diamonds cut in the exact shape of my ring but

much smaller. I held the anklet up and the sun coming through the windows caught the diamonds and

danced around the room.

“I’ll put it on you,” Harlow said and I laid the anklet in her hand then she fastened it around my ankle.

I’d told Rush that I felt like I needed something on my feet but that I couldn’t imagine walking across

the sand in shoes. This was his answer to that. I smiled and thanked Harlow.

“You’re welcome. It’s beautiful on you,” she said before leaving the room just as quietly as she had

entered.

I looked down at my ankle in the mirror to admire it when another knock on the door came. A familiar

face that I hadn’t been expecting at all smiled at me and I rushed over to hug Granny Q. I hadn’t

invited Granny Q because I was worried that Rush would be upset about Cain being here. I knew he’d

be the one to drive his grandmother and I couldn’t not invite Cain too. Tears stung my eyes as she

squeezed me.

“I can’t believe you’re here. I can’t believe you drove this far,” I gushed.

She patted my back and chuckled. “Well, I didn’t drive. That man of yours sent me and Cain plane

tickets. First class. I’ve never been so pampered in my life. Was an experience, I tell ya.” If I didn’t already love Rush Finlay with every fiber of my being then I’d love him more for this. But he had all

of me.

“Now don’t you go to blubbering on me and mess up that makeup. You look like your momma. Just

like her. Don’t think your daddy could be happier than he is right now. I’m not supposed to come up

here and make you cry. I’m here to give you something from Rush. He wanted to be the one to give

you your something borrowed.”

The silly smile on my face couldn’t be helped. He was sending me another gift. She handed me a

small box wrapped just like the one that Harlow had brought. I took it and unwrapped it quickly.

Nestled in a satin box was a small note. I picked it up and underneath it was an old swatch of pink

satin. It had been well worn and it was obviously cut from something else. I opened the note.

Blaire,

I’ve waited until today to show this to you.
It hasn’t been easy to not say anything about it. But
when I was reminded of who your mother was I was also reminded of this piece of satin. I had

forgotten where it came from for a long time but I knew it was special so I kept it with me. All the
time. Growing up, when I was scared or alone I would hold it in my hands and rub it across my

face. It was a secret I wanted no one to know about. But it soothed me. When your father reminded

me of the Mickey Mouse pancakes my memories of your mother all came back. With them I

remembered the day I got this piece of satin.

Your mother always wore a pair of pink
satin pajamas to bed at night. She would often rock me to
sleep because I was difficult to get to calm down long enough to close my eyes. I loved it when she

held me. My own mother never did. I would go to sleep at night rubbing my nose across her arm

and the pink satin pajamas. The day she left I remember being scared. I didn’t want to be left with

Georgianna. Your mother hugged me tightly then tucked this piece of satin cut from her pajamas in

my hand and told me to use it at night when I was going to bed.

I’d love to say this memory came back to me all on my
own but it didn’t. I just knew the fabric had
to do with the woman who made me pancakes. So, I asked your dad. He told me the story and I

realized that the recurring dream I had growing up about the woman in the pink satin pajamas

was real. Not a dream.

It’s mine and you can’t have it (unless you really want it and then it’s yours).

This is your something borrowed.

I love you,

Rush

“I hope you’re not wearing a lot of makeup ‘cause if you are you just cried half of it off,” Granny Q

grumbled.

I smiled and took the tissue she was holding and wiped my face free of the tears. I wasn’t wearing

much makeup, to Bethy’s dismay. The mascara I had on was waterproof which was a good thing. I

touched the satin to my cheek and thought of my sweet momma leaving this for Rush. Then I folded it

and tucked it into my strapless bra. I put the note away in the dresser. I wanted to keep that too.

Forever.

“Well, I need to get on downstairs and get in my seat. I’ll see you soon,” Granny Q said and blew me

a kiss before she headed out the door.

I walked over to the mirror to check my makeup when another swift knock came on the door. My dad

stepped inside with a smile on his face. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. That’s

one lucky man down there. He just better remember it.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” I replied.

He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out another small gift box similar to the ones the others had brought in here. “I have something for you from Rush. He wanted to be the one to give you your

something blue.”

I couldn’t keep the silly grin off my face. I had already figured out that was why he was here. Dad

handed it to me. “I’ll stay. You’re going to need my help with it.”

I opened the box, excited about getting something else from Rush. A delicate gold chain that matched

the anklet he’d sent me was nestled in the satin. I pulled it out and hanging from it was a teardrop

shaped topaz. Beside it was another note. I took it out quickly and unfolded it.

Blaire,

This teardrop represents many things. The tears I know you’ve shed over holding your mother’s

piece of satin. The tears you’ve shed over each loss you’ve experienced. But it also represents the

tears we’ve both shed as we’ve felt the little life inside you begin to move. The tears I’ve shed over
the fact I’ve been given someone like you to love. I never imagined anyone like you Blaire. But

every time I think about forever with you I’m humbled that you chose me.

This is your something blue.

I love you,

Rush

I wiped another tear away and laughed. He was right. We’d had both sad and happy tears. I wanted

this memory of both on me as we said our vows today.

My dad took it from my hands and fastened it around my neck. I moved it so that it lay against my

chest. I was complete. He’d made sure I had something old, something new, something borrowed, and

something blue.

“It’s time for us to go down now,” Dad said to me before walking over to open the door. I followed

him and then he led me down the stairs and out the front door. I was to walk under the house and come

through an archway of pink roses and white twinkling lights.

Slipping my hand into the crook of my dad’s arm, I let him lead me.

I had waited at the bottom of the steps as each person came down after taking her the gifts I sent up.

When her father had gone up I’d known I couldn’t wait around this time. I had to get outside. I wanted

to be the one taking the gifts up to her but she’d been adamant that I couldn’t see her before the

wedding.

Standing under the pergola covered in ivy and white roses on the sand between my house and the gulf

I waited with the minister on one side and Grant on the other side.

“You nervous?’ Grant asked.

“That she’s gonna decide not to walk down that aisle? Yes,” I replied.

Grant laughed and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“One day you’ll understand. And when you do I’m going to laugh my ass off.”

“Not a chance in hell,” he replied.

Bethy appeared under the pink roses, which meant that Blaire was waiting behind her. I picked up the

hidden wireless microphone that I’d had the sound guy strategically place for me and put it on my

lapel. Then I reached behind the flowers and picked up my guitar. It had been years since anyone had

seen me touch this thing. I could only imagine what was going through their heads. Only my dad knew

what was going on because he’d helped me with the chords.

“What’re you doing?” Grant whispered. The disbelief in his voice as he figured out the answer all on

his own was obvious. I didn’t need to tell him. As soon as Bethy was in her place I stepped in front of

the minister and looked directly down the aisle. When Blaire appeared the music would begin. I’d

gone over everything with the sound team thoroughly.

When she stepped forward on her father’s arm her eyes locked with mine and then went wide in

surprise. She had been supposed to walk down the aisle to “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz. But I

hadn’t wanted another man singing to her. Not today. I wanted her walking to me while I sang the

words written just for her when she walked down the aisle to gift me with my world.

“Well, uh, I haven’t been one much for singing... well you know, in front of people... but I figured

after all we’ve been through... this would be a good time to say what I’ve always wanted to say.

Blaire, I love you girl... to the moon and back.” I watched as she stood frozen looking at me. The