Forever We Fall: Broken #4 (The Broken Series) (7 page)

Kyle

Storming into mine and Lee's bedroom, I made a mental note to
never
do Derek another favor for the rest of my life, as I ripped my shirt off, buttons scattering everywhere, before slipping my pants off.

Therapy
…What a croc of shit.

Even the word was stupid and that
doctor
didn’t have a fucking clue of what she was talking about. I did
not
have mommy issues. My mother was dead. Issue dealt with.

Now, if she'd said I had daddy issues then I'd have been inclined to agree, but mother issues?

No way.

Growling in frustration I grabbed the duvet and dragged it back before climbing into bed. And the shit she'd spurred about repressed grief was laughable. I coped just fine – a lot better than the other members of this household. The nerve of the woman to insinuate that my emotional health was unstable and I was close to burning out… See, that was exactly why I didn’t trust anyone with an
IST...

"Kyle, is that you?" I heard Lee call my name moments before she stepped out of our ensuite bathroom in nothing but a bra and thong.

My mouth dropped open as I gawked at every hot inch of her skin. I had to sit on my hands to keep them from grabbing her as she pranced across our bedroom like a fucking feast.

Stopping in front of the full-length mirror hanging on our bedroom wall, I watched as she started pulling at the skin around her stomach.

What the hell?

"I need your honest opinion." Her brow furrowed as she looked at me with an agitated expression. "Do you think I look fat?"

Trick question.

Trick fucking question...

How the hell was I going to get out of this one unscathed?

Did I think Lee looked fat?

Fuck no.

Would she believe me if I told her that?

Definitely not.

"I love you regardless of what size you are, princess," I said smiling at her, thinking that this was exactly the type of thing a woman would want to hear. Her eyes narrowed and my smile slipped away.

Ah shit...

Wrong fucking answer.

"I've gained weight," she announced sulkily.
Where?
"On my ass and stomach," she declared in a distressed tone, answering my unspoken question with spooky awareness.

"You have not," I scoffed as I folded my arms over my chest and sighed. "You're tiny."

"Kyle," she growled. "My hips are wider than yours." Groaning loudly, she shook her head and sighed. "Okay, just close your eyes. Don't look at me."

Don't look at you?
"You asked me to look at you," I informed her as I scratched my head in confusion. I would never understand the way her brain worked.

"Well, don’t look now," she hissed as she roughly pulled open one of her drawers and grabbed a pair of ugly-ass pink jammies.

"Don't you think you might be overreacting a little, princess?" I coaxed, continuing to look at her as she dressed quickly, her cheeks red and flustered. Lee was smoking hot. Sure, she wasn’t stick thin, but that was a good thing. A fucking great thing. "I love your curves," I purred. "You've the body of a real woman."

"It's not fair," she grumbled, ignoring my compliments, as she grabbed a hair-tie from her dresser and tied her curls back off her face. "Men have all the freaking luck."

Plopping down on the floor she began to put her socks on, her expression furious. "Stretch marks, a jelly-belly and a ruined vagina," she muttered and I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud.

"Droopy breasts, a shapeless butt, a weak bladder," she continued huffily. "And you," she snarled as she climbed to her feet and pointed an accusing finger at me. "All you got was affirmation of your fertileness and horny pregnancy sex."

"And six weeks of palm and her five friends," I chuckled.
Damn, I loved that girl.
Smirking at her pouting face, I added, "See, baby, I suffered too."

Patting the mattress I crooked my finger at her. "Now get your sexy ass over here."

"I'm not doing it tonight, Kyle," Lee huffed as she stalked over and climbed into bed, curling onto her side.

"I'm serious," she grumbled, slapping my wandering hand away from her ass. I just shook my head and sighed. I had a fair idea I wasn’t getting any when Lee had started to wrap herself up, covering every inch of her skin from the neck down.
Crazy fucking woman…

"How did your therapy session with Derek go?" Lee asked in a softer tone. Twisting around to face me, she slipped one freezing cold hand under the duvet to rest on the warm skin of my stomach. "You were ages, did you find it helpful?"

"Ugh." I rolled onto my back and threw my arm over my face. "The less said about that the better."

Lee chuckled and curled into my side, throwing one of her short legs over my thigh and the sensation of her flannel jammies against my skin was weird as fuck. "That bad, huh?"

"Let's just say hell will freeze over before I step inside her office again," I growled as I wrapped an arm around Lee and pulled her closer, before reaching over with my free hand and flicking off the lamp. "I hate the way they scrutinize me like I'm some weird prize," I admitted quietly. It was easier to talk about it now that the lights were out. I didn’t want Lee to see how unsettled I truly felt and I knew she'd see it in my eyes. "She thinks I repress my emotions," I laughed humorlessly. "That I'm vulnerable and my need to be in control and bossiness stem from years of burying every other emotion but anger." Sighing heavily, I twisted my finger around a loose lock of Lee's hair. "She doesn’t think I've dealt with Camryn's death," I confessed. "And that I'm highly-strung."

"What do you think, Kyle?" she asked in her soft, southern drawl. Even in the darkness I knew she was studying every inch of my face. Her small hand came up to cup my cheek. "Do you think any of what she said is true?"

Yes…
"No."

****

Lee

I woke in the middle of the night to an empty bed and a hammering heart. Clenching my eyes shut, I felt around on my nightstand until I found the switch for my lamp and switched it on.
God, I hated the dark.
I didn’t mind sleeping without a light on when Kyle was with me, but from the coldness of his side of the bed, I guessed he hadn't been in bed for a while.

Opening my eyes slowly I climbed out of bed and crept out of our room, checking on my daughter first before I went downstairs in search of her father.

I found him in his office, hunched forward on his chair, with his head on his desk and his hand on the mouse of his computer. Kyle wasn’t sleeping well lately and I couldn’t bear to wake him up and have him worry some more.

But he was only wearing his boxer shorts, so I rushed down the hallway and grabbed a blanket from the downstairs linen closet before returning to his office and draping it over his shoulders. My hand must have nudged his because the computer screen flickered to life, revealing what he'd been doing before falling asleep. He'd been in the middle of writing an email…

To: Linda Stone

From: Kyle Carter

Subject: Repressed Grief

(Yeah, see the subject heading? Well, according to Derek's therapist, I've got that by the bucketful.)

Linda, I don't understand what's going on anymore. Everything feels like it getting out of control and I feel so fucking lost without you. I miss you so goddamn much and I've been going out of my mind with worry. I honestly don't know what I've done to offend you so deeply that you won't speak to me, but whatever it was I'm sorry.

I need you, Linda. Everyone depends on me. And you... You're the one I depend on.

The trial is scaring me. I can't tell anyone, especially Lee, but I'm scared to death.

If Lee cracks on the stand then that's it… Rachel could get out in five to seven for diminished capacity.

It's a huge possibility, Linda, and I have no idea of what to do or how to cope with all of it.

Please let me know you're okay. Just one sign that you're alright and I'll stop sending these pathetic fucking emails...

Skulking away guiltily, I slipped out of his office and closed the door behind me. Sagging against the closed door, I closed my eyes and exhaled a sharp breath. Anger burned inside of me as I tried to figure out what to do for him – how to help him. I couldn’t talk about the email because I shouldn’t have read it in the first place. Why the hell was Linda doing this? It was so cruel and Kyle didn’t deserve to be treated this way. But knowing he was afraid caused the fear inside of me to spread like a disease…

Pushing off the door, I slowly made my way back to bed with a heavy heart and a truckload of anxiety.

****

Chapter Six

Kyle

"Is that Mike again?" Lee asked as she stood rummaging through her dresser drawers. "Is something wrong at the hotel…" her voice trailed off as she gazed dispassionately at her reflection in the mirror hanging over her dresser. She raised her hair up and down with her hands in what I presumed was her trying out potential styles.

"Everything's fine, princess," I replied in a gruff tone as I glanced down at the screen of my phone where my brother's name was flashing, before silencing it and tossing it on my bedside table.

I hadn't been to the hotel in weeks and grudgingly conceded my half-brother, Mike, was a skilled and capable manager, so when he called me about an emergency it was serious. "Mike's got everything in control," I lied. I'd have to call in later, but she didn't need to be getting herself all worked up with my shit. She needed calmness. God knows, we would have enough trouble in a few weeks and I needed some breathing space too. All the crap with Tracy, Jimmy and the trial was taking its toll on me and I knew hiding from my problems wouldn't make them go away, but my stress-levels were through the roof.

"I'm going to have to cut it," Lee grumbled, breaking me from my daydream, still tugging at her hair. "It's too long…too damn curly." I rolled my eyes and fought the urge to laugh at her comment – which I couldn't disagree more with. Her long, dark brown hair fell to the middle of her back in twisting, velvety curls. Her hair color was one hundred percent natural and her curls were sexy as hell.

I remembered Cam forking out hundreds of dollars to have her hair curled like that on several occasions and I could never figure out why Lee hated her hair when – according to Cam –women went to great lengths to pull off the 'bed me' look. I had no fucking clue what that meant, but I wanted to bed Lee every time I looked at her, so I guessed Cam had been onto something with that theory.

Lee muttered something incoherent before sliding a hair tie off her wrist and pulling her hair in a pony-tail. "You're gorgeous," I told her as I folded my arms behind my head and took in the fucking fantastic floorshow in front of me.

"Sure I am," she said in a sardonic tone as she rummaged around in her chest of drawers. "Did you call Derek last night?" she asked as she grabbed a pair of panties from the drawer and stepped into them. It was amusing as hell to watch her dress. She kept my shirt on as she slid her panties on in her ridiculous attempt at modesty. I had no fucking clue why she always did this. I'd seen more of Lee's body than she had. I'd delivered our daughter. I'd seen it all. Every part. It didn't faze me. It just made me love her more. "How is he doing?" she asked. "Was he happy to see his parents? Do you think he's eating properly?"

"Calm down, I called him last night. He's fine, baby. I think he needed the break away…" I told her, my voice trailing off as I watched her slide a pair of skin-tight blue jeans up her legs. Jesus, I fucking loved watching that woman shimmy into a pair of jeans. It was like free porn. I'd never get tired of that sight.

"How did he sound?" she asked, her fingers freezing on her zipper. "Do you think he's drinking again?"

"He'll need it to deal with his mother," I snorted and mentally slapped myself on the head when I watched Lee's face darken, her eyes glazed over. "Lee, he's okay, baby. He'll be home in a week or so," I said softly.

Derek was doing a lot better. He was talking to his parents again and had gone home to Idaho for a long overdue visit. I personally thought this was huge fucking progress. Every day I saw a little more of the old Derek and it felt damn good to know that he was coming back to me. The night he came home, it felt like I'd gotten back a crucial limb that I hadn't known was missing…

"What are you thinking about, princess?" I asked as I stared at Lee's glazed over expression.

She blinked twice before giving me an apologetic half-smile. "Just about how good this feels to be in sync with you," she replied, her smile widening as she gestured between the both of us with her hand. "You and me…Us. This is it, isn't it, Kyle?" Her face reddened and she closed her eyes and bit down on her lip before sighing in pure contentment. "This must be what people are supposed to search for. This feeling, this kind of connection we have. It doesn't waver, it grows. It drowns me, smothers me and still I crave more. Need more. I'm still trying to figure out if it's a healthy way to feel."

I was momentarily stunned. Fucking drowning in her words. "Uh…" I shook my head and tried to form a sentence. I couldn't. Her words had knocked me on my ass.
She loved me that much…

"I like it when you're happy," Lee murmured, distracting me from my thoughts, as she did the sexiest wiggle as she buttoned her jeans. Hell yeah, I was happy. Every part of me was happy as I watched her.
Very happy.

"Keep jiggling your ass like that and I won't be leaving this room," I warned her.

Lee stopped moving and gaped at me. "You are such a strange man." she mused as she stepped forward and climbed onto the bed to kneel before me. "You get turned on by the weirdest things."

Sitting up, I grabbed her hips and tugged her onto my lap. "It's a damn shame to hide this," I growled as my hands slid around to squeeze her ass.

I slipped my hands up her shirt and trailed my fingers up the soft skin of her stomach until I found my destination. "Then don't leave this room," she purred as she pressed her crotch against my junk. "Stay here with me…"

"These are fucking perfect," I told her as I cupped her full breasts. "Jesus, they're bigger than ever."

Lee moaned as her fingernails dug into my shoulders. "That's because of the baby weight…"

"Don't say it," I warned her as I pushed my hand up her shirt until I had her tits in my hands and vision. "Don't even fucking think it." She was conscious of her body since having Hope, but I swear she saw shit that wasn't there. The only extra anything she had was a deeper curve to her waist and bigger breasts. God, I hoped she wasn't planning on dieting. She didn't need to be messing around with my playground. "Your body's a dream, Lee."

I must have said the right thing because her lips crashed down on mine with such force I fell back on my pillow as her hot tongue invaded my mouth. "Jesus," I groaned as I tugged on the waistband of her skin-tight jeans. "How the fuck am I supposed to get these off you?"

"Just tear them," Lee moaned against my lips. "Please…I need you inside me."

Fuck.

Grabbing the front of her jeans, I yanked until the sound of fabric ripping filled my ears. Thank Jesus. My lips never left hers as I shoved them down her thighs. She kicked them off the rest of the way as her hands pulled at the front of my boxers. "I want you so bad, Kyle," she gasped against my lips.

Lifting her up, I slid her thong to one side and positioned my dick at her entrance. "Christ, Lee, you're soaking wet, baby."

The sound of our daughter crying caused both of us to freeze.

Lee giggled and I wanted to fucking cry.

My dick was so hard I was worried it would break if I didn't get inside her right now.  "Shh," I coaxed as I flexed my hips upward. "I didn't hear anything…"

"Maybe another time," she teased and climbed off me.

"Yeah," I muttered as I got up and stalked into the bathroom to take the coldest shower I could handle. "In about eighteen years." 

****