Forever You (14 page)

“Why didn’t you say something?” I said as I ran my hands through my hair.

“Well, I wanted you to have what you wanted.” She said innocently.

I sat there and stared at her. I tried to think of why she would agree to come here for seafood when

she didn’t like it. It’s because she was a kind and generous woman who thought of other people first. I

remembered the times she showed me new experiences, so I decided I was going to be the one to

show her something new this time around.

“I’m going to order for us,” I smiled as I waved for the waitress to come back. “We will start with

an order of calamari, crab legs, and a lobster tail for each of us. Also, please throw in an order of

broiled scallops.”

The waitress looked at Ellery as she managed a slight smile. I crossed my hands and placed my

elbows on the table, leaning forward so I was closer to her.

“Remember the times when you made me eat things; the pizza, hot dog, and let’s not forget the use

of the chopsticks?”

“Yes, I do, and I’m fine with everything you ordered,” she said.

“We’ll see about that,” I smirked.

She leaned over the table, “You’re a vicious man, Connor Black.”

“Not as vicious as you are, darling,” I whispered.

Just as Ellery leaned back in her seat, the waitress came over and set the calamari in the center of

the table. Quickly, Ellery took out her phone and placed it on her lap. She was looking down at it and

typing something. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You Googled ‘calamari’ didn’t you?” I asked.

She nodded her head as she took a sip of her coke, and I could see the fear in her eyes. I felt really

bad for what I did. I stopped laughing and looked at her intently.

“You don’t have to eat it, I’m sorry,” I said.

She told me it was ok and that she was going to try it. She took a piece of calamari with her fork

and looked at it. She took a bite and started to make the most adorable faces. I reached in my pocket

and pulled out my phone. This is a moment that I didn’t want to forget. She tried everything I ordered

and was a great sport about it. She even told me that she actually enjoyed everything. We laughed and

talked throughout dinner. Her laugh was as much of a turn on as her smile. She was fun to be around,

and she made me feel human. That’s the only way I can describe it, because I’ve never been happier

than I am when I’m with her. We finished eating, and as we exited the restaurant, I put my arm around

her and pulled her into me. She put her hand on my chest and laid her head on my shoulder. I wanted

her as close to me as possible.

I was used to staying at the best hotels around the world, and I wouldn’t settle for anything less. I

drove out of the way to find a Ritz Carlton. I pulled up to the entrance and let the valet park the Range

Rover. We walked into the hotel and up to the reservation desk where I gave them my last name and

reserved the Presidential Suite. The concierge called over the bellhop, and he took us to the

elevators.

“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Black, and welcome to the Ritz Carleton,” he said.

I started to explain that we weren’t married, but Ellery quickly interrupted me and started playing

some game with him.

“Thank you so much. What my husband is trying to say is that we won’t be staying long.”

As soon as the elevator doors opened and we stepped into the suite, Ellery turned and looked at

me. “The Presidential Suite, really, just for one night?” I saw this as an opportunity to play her game.

“I will have nothing but the best room for my beautiful wife. Isn’t my wife beautiful?” I asked the

bellhop with a wide grin.

“Yes, sir, she’s very beautiful.”

“Darling, husband, make sure you tip this nice young man well,” she smiled.

I pulled the cash from my pocket and started looking for a twenty-dollar bill to give the young man.

Ellery came up behind me and grabbed a one hundred-dollar bill and handed it to him.

“Do you have a wife or girlfriend?” she asked.

“Yes, I do, thank you, ma’am, and thank you for your generosity,” he answered.

“Go buy her something beautiful, perhaps a nice necklace.”

I looked at her and clenched my jaw. I was in utter disbelief that she gave him a one hundred-

dollar tip.

“Thank you, ma’am, sir, thank you,” he said excitedly as he walked out shutting the door behind

him.

“Really, a one hundred-dollar tip?” I asked her.

“Well, it’s what you tipped the cab driver.”

“Cab driver, what are you talking about?” I asked confused.

“The night I brought you home, I had to pay the driver, and I didn’t have enough money, so I went in

your wallet and gave him a hundred; that was before you told me that you were going to fuck me

really hard.”

My jaw dropped and horror swept over my face. “I said that to you?” I asked very embarrassed.

“Yeah, but you were drunk, so I forgave you,” she smiled.

Damn that smile. “A one hundred-dollar tip, Ellery?” I kept saying as I started walking towards

her. She had an excited look in her eyes.

“Connor, relax, it’s only money, and you said yourself that you have plenty of it,” she said as she

ran behind a chair. I started to chase after her around the suite. She was screaming as I kept saying

over and over, “A hundred dollars?”

She ran into the bedroom, and I chased after her. I caught her and threw her on the bed. We both

were smiling as I straddled her and had her arms pinned above her head. We were both out of breath

as I just stared into her beautiful, ice blue eyes. The feelings I had at that moment overtook me. I’ve

never felt so strongly for someone before. All I know is that I wanted her. I needed to feel her. Her

lips were begging to be kissed as mine were begging me to oblige. My heart was racing, and my body

ached for her. As I held her wrists, I lowered my head, and gently brushed my lips against hers. I

stopped and held her gaze; it wasn’t enough, I needed more. I let go of her wrists and softly stroked

her cheek with the back of my hand. She brought her hands to my head and lightly ran her fingers

through my hair. I was highly aroused, and there was no hiding it. I could feel the rapid beating of her

heart, and it was at that moment that I knew she felt the same way about me as I did about her. I

brought my lips to hers once more and fell onto her as she parted her lips, allowing our tongues to

meet for the first time. Kissing her was amazing; it was everything I knew that it would be. I took my

time exploring her mouth and licking her soft lips. I wanted her to feel me and feel the love I was

giving her. I gently held the sides of her face with my hands and started tracing her jaw line with my

tongue. Suddenly, the images of Amanda, lying dead on the floor and covered in blood, flooded my

mind as did all the other women I’ve used and had sex with. What the hell was I doing? How could I

cross the line like that? I wanted her so bad, but I couldn’t risk losing our friendship. She was too

important to me. I abruptly broke our kiss, pulled back, and sat on the edge of the bed, running my

hands through my hair.

“I’m sorry, Ellery, but I can’t,” I said.

She sat up on the bed behind me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her and see the hurt and

rejection she must be feeling. I was appalled by the words that she spat at me.

“Why not, Connor? Is it because I’m not one of your whores?”

She knew about the other women and never let on that she did. I got up from the bed and walked

across the room.

“You’re not a whore, Ellery, and I just can’t.”

“Please just tell me what’s wrong and why you don’t want me,” she pleaded.

It was breaking my heart to have to stand here and do this to her. “I do want you, Ellery, and that’s

the problem; I want you too fucking much.”

“How’s that a problem?!” she yelled.

I turned and looked at her with rage in my eyes. Maybe if I tell her about the real me, she won’t

want me and this will all be over. “You don’t want to know the real me. I’m not a good person; I use

women for sex. I can’t have real relationships; I don’t want to.”

“We don’t have to have a relationship; we can just be friends with benefits,” she said.

I couldn’t believe she would stoop to such a level that she would sleep with me with no strings

attached. I would never do that to her, and I would never use her that way. She took a step closer to

me and whispered.

“Connor, please; I need you.” A single tear fell from her eye.

“Don’t, Elle, don’t do this to me, to us; I can’t sleep with you.”

She turned and walked out of the bedroom, telling me to fuck off. The tone of her voice was angry

and hurt. I followed her out of the room as she was about to walk out the door. She put her hand on the

doorknob and started to turn it. There was no way I was letting her walk out of this room and possibly

out of my life.

“Don’t you dare walk out that door, Ellery!” I yelled.

She stood there for a moment with her head down and then started to open it. I came up behind her

and put my hand on the door, slamming it shut. I grabbed her arms, turned her around, and pushed her

up against the door. I needed to make her see the kind of man I really am. She looked at me with fear

in her eyes, and it killed me that she saw me that way. However, she needed to understand how much

I love her and how I couldn’t allow myself to hurt her by messing up our friendship.

“I fuck women for the pleasure, that’s it. There’s no emotion for me when I fuck them; there never

has been!” I yelled as a single tear fell from her eye.

“I seduce them, use them, fuck them, and leave them. Is that what you want? Is that how you want

me to treat you? You’re different, Ellery, and you scare me. You make me feel things that I’ve never

felt before. You’re all I think about, both day and night. I feel empty inside when you’re not around.

Don’t you understand? It isn’t supposed to be this way, and if I sleep with you, this will all be

ruined.”

Suddenly, the fear was gone from her eyes, and it was replaced by empathy. I couldn’t look at her

anymore because of the tears, and it was tearing me apart doing this to her.

“What happened to you that made you this way?” She asked in a soft whisper.

I continued to look down, still pinning her body against the door. It was my fault that we were in

this position, and it’s time that she knows the truth. If she wants to leave after I tell her, then I’ll let

her go, and I’ll never see her again. Dr. Peters is right; there can no longer be any secrets between

Ellery and me. Our friendship has come too far.

“I had a girlfriend when I was 18. She started to become obsessive and wanted to spend every

waking minute with me. It became too much to try to keep her happy and, it led me to feel like I was

suffocating, so I broke up with her.” I paused and looked up at her as my eyes began to fill with tears.

“She committed suicide two days later. She left a note, explaining that if she couldn’t have me, then

she didn’t want to live and told everyone to blame me for her suicide.” I let go of her arms, taking her

wrists, and turning them over.

“You see, this is why I feel sad when I see these on you. It’s a reminder of what I did, and how I

killed her.” She gasped at my words as she broke my grip and cupped my face in her hands.

“You did nothing wrong, Connor. It wasn’t your fault that she killed herself. It was her weakness

and inability to cope; you cannot blame yourself.”

“I swore then I would never fall in love or get emotionally involved with another woman, but with

you, it’s too late. I’m already emotionally attached, and I’m doing everything I can to stop myself, but

I can’t.” I turned away from her; my breathing was rapid. This was her opportunity to leave, and I

was willing to let her go so she can be happy, but she didn’t leave.

Ellery walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “I’m emotionally attached,

and everything inside me said to stay away, but I see a side of you that I don’t think you let other

people see; a sweet, tender, and caring man who would give his world for someone that he cares

about.”

I let out a breath. She wasn’t leaving; she was staying. She understood and didn’t care because she

just wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with her. My secret was out, and she didn’t run. I turned

around and looked at her. I saw the sadness in her eyes, and I wanted to take it away. She shouldn’t

be sad; she should be happy.

I pressed my lips against hers and kissed her passionately. Our tongues danced together as I picked

her up and carried her to the bedroom. My heart was racing, and my body ached for her, to touch her,

and be inside her. I sat her gently on the bed as I lifted up her shirt and took it off. I took off my shirt

and unbuttoned my pants, never taking my eyes off her. I never wanted to take my eyes off her again.

She stood up, took off her jeans, and threw them on the floor. She laid down on the bed in just her

black lace bra and matching thong. I stood there in awe of this amazing woman as I looked over her