Forever Yours (8 page)

When Charles peaked under the lid of a pot simmering on the stove and declared, “Ah, mystery meat,” Jade realized all the tenseness caused by Caroline had passed. She responded by playfully punching him on the shoulder.

“Instead of being so obnoxious, make yourself useful by taking out the salad.”

“Okay, don’t shoot.”

Jade gave an exaggerated sigh before putting the pot roast and mashed potatoes on the table. However, she kept checking his color as he ate to make sure he wasn’t coming down with food poisoning.

Charles survived the meal and helped her clean up the kitchen so they could get into the bedroom more quickly. She offered to leave it for later, meaning most likely tomorrow, but he wanted to help.

Standing next to him at the sink made her feel like they were a married couple. As good as it felt, she reminded herself that wasn’t in the cards for her—at least not now, anyway, despite what Caroline had said. Caroline may have had him on a short leash, but leashes often break from wear and tear. He might be legally bound to her, but Jade felt a sexual bond that was nearly spiritual in nature.

As they stood by the bed undressing one another, Jade could feel her insides quivering with desire. She’d been simmering all day just thinking about this moment, and Charles’s slightest touch had ratcheted the heat up closer to her boiling point. Spontaneously, she dropped to her knees and opened the fly of his pants. As she took his penis into her mouth, he gave a moan of pleasure. Jade smiled and began to work her mouth up and down his rod.

Charles buried his hands in her hair, his eyes half-closed. She delighted in watching his face as she pleasured him. Because he was such a caring lover, she desired to do things to him she’d never done with any other man.

He pulled out. “Get on the bed, Jade.”

She watched as he kicked off his slacks and positioned himself over her so that they could pleasure each other. It wasn’t long before she hitched onto that magic carpet ride straight to heaven.

“Oh, yes, baby, just like that,” Jade said, feeling the tension building deep within her.

“Don’t stop…yes…!” was all she managed to say before she was overcome by incredible delight.

When Charles came, she tried to swallow all of it, but some dribbled down her chin. When he was done, she grabbed a tissue and wiped off her chin. At least she was able to complete the act. She remembered the first time she tried to suck his cock. What a disaster. She’d gagged and ruined the moment—completely. Charles made light of it, though, and she promised that she’d do better next time. He told her not to sweat it, but she truly wanted to be able to please him in every way.

Tonight was special. Charles didn’t have to rush back to the Island. How Jade wished he never had to leave. However, she reminded herself that wishing and hoping only led to heartbreak. She had to take each passing day and live it as if it were her last.

And though she loved Charles with all her being and her utmost desire was having him free to live with her and Preston, she never told him so. Jade had accepted the restrictions of this relationship freely and would never make any demands of him. She’d told him that once and still meant every word of it, though she ached to have him near, especially when he was at the house on Long Island.

Summer became autumn. Time had a way of passing so quickly. Preston had bumbled and stumbled along, enjoying his first steps into toddlerhood. Jade could see the world through his eyes and reveled in his delight, often wishing Charles were there to see his son reach a new milestone or do something simply adorable. However, Charles missed much and Jade considered each night they were able to spend together a gift. In his absence, she had a great deal of time to think. With the future in mind, there was a great deal she wanted to discuss with Charles. As soon as Preston was older, Jade wanted to go back to work. She prided her independence and knew as certain as the sun rose every day that nothing was forever.

Over dinner one evening Jade intended to discuss going back to work when Preston was in school. However, the conversation went in an entirely different direction—one that she least expected.

“When was the last time you spoke to your parents?” Charles inquired out of the blue.

“Umm…a while back.”

“Before Preston was born?”

“No. After,” she said, feeling a tad uncomfortable.

“So they know they have a grandson?”

“No,” she replied in little more than a whisper.

“Don’t you think it’s time to tell them?”

“I will.”

“When?”

“Eventually.”

“Before or after he graduates from high school?”
“Why are you doing this?”

“What? All I’m asking you is why you haven’t told your parents about Preston. I think they have a right to know.”

“I have my reasons. Why are we talking about this?”

“Because it’s important. What’s really going on here?” Charles’s face had become dark with anger.

“I’d like to drop the subject, Charles.”

“You’re acting like a child.”

“Are you certain you want to discuss this?”

“I thought we already were, Jade.”

Jade knew where they were headed and had never wanted to have this conversation with Charles. It wouldn’t be pleasant.

“Is this about race?” he finally asked, bringing it out into the open.

“Damn straight it is. You’ve met my parents. They didn’t exactly welcome you into their home, did they?”

“They were…cordial.”

Jade raised an eyebrow. “According to whose standards—Caroline’s?”

“
That
is unbecoming of you,” he said.

“Sorry. Look, the point I’m trying to make here is that they’ll explode when they see Preston.”

“Because he’s so light-skinned?”

“Exactly. They’re militant blacks and just as biased as those Aryan groups. No one group has a monopoly on hate. Hate comes in every color.”

“So you were going to keep his existence a secret forever?” Charles said.

“No. I just have to find the best way to tell them.”

“Things won’t change, you know. I mean, he’s not going to become black.”

Jade looked at him. “Charles, you’ve got to understand my parents’ mindset. They’re furious at me for not associating with my own kind to begin with. That makes me ‘uppity’ in their eyes. And to compound that grievous error, you’re married and Preston is practically white. We’ve got nothing going for us here.”

Charles was quiet for several moments, probably thinking about what Jade had just said.

“I think I’m beginning to understand your hesitation,” he said at last. “Even so, you’re going to have to tell them sometime.”

Jade nodded.

“By the way, what did you want to talk about?”

Drained, she no longer cared to talk about anything else that night. Instead, she wanted to go to sleep and not wake up until everything was resolved.

“Nothing important,” she said, and tried to stifle a yawn.

“Tired?”

He got the hint.

“A little.”

“I’ll say good night, then.”

Jade walked Charles to the door, wondering if there would ever be a good time to tell her parents about Preston.

Be careful of what you wish for. That was the lesson Jade learned before dawn the following morning when she awoke to the persistent ringing of her cell phone. Only bad news came at such an ungodly hour.

In the dark, she fumbled around her night table until she located her phone. Still half asleep, she answered it and heard her sister Vanessa’s high-pitched voice. Jade hadn’t spoken to her in years. The last time was at Vanessa’s second wedding ceremony. She must have gotten Jade’s number from their mother. That meant Mama was still pissed at her. Jade had really hoped she’d mellow with time and understand Jade couldn’t flourish in Trenton.

“Get your sorry black ass down to Lincoln General—”

“Who’s—?”

“The old man had a stroke and it’s bad.”

“How’s Mama taking it?” Jade asked, finally getting more than one word in.

“Come see for yourself.”

Jade was about to ask another question when she realized Vanessa had already hung up. Nice conversation. Perhaps more than she should expect from her older sister. Vanessa had always resented Jade’s intrusion into her life. Didn’t like that she’d had to share her things with her. She’d always told Jade, “If you hadn’t been born, I’d have had it all.”

The phone call blew all the cobwebs of sleep away. Jade had to go to the hospital to see her father and had no one to watch Preston. Well, whether or not she wanted to break the news about her child, she had no choice now.

Jade made coffee, showered and dressed all before Preston got up. After she changed and fed him, she packed an overnight bag for them both—in case she had to stay in New Jersey. Wanting to be free to go as she pleased and not have to depend on public transportation, Jade rented a car and then left a message on Charles’s phone.

At the hospital, Jade found parking in the visitors’ lot and put Preston into his stroller. She hadn’t been here in years, not since her sister’s miscarriage, and yet the hospital looked the same with its portico out front and busy lobby. She walked inside and went over to the information desk. Her father was on the fourth floor. She took the elevator up.

Jade had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, and the drab, olive-green walls surrounding her did nothing to soothe it. The unique hospital smell of disinfectant and sickness assaulted her nasal passages and she nearly gagged. How she hated hospitals!

The door to the room was open. She took a deep breath and pushed the stroller inside.

Her father was hooked up to an IV. There was a breathing tube in his nose. His eyes were closed. Jade noticed his hair was totally white now, making him appear older than his years.

Suddenly her mother came between Jade and her father, blocking her approach. Her mother nodded toward the door. They went back out into the hall.

She looked at Preston long and hard. “How dare you bring that bastard into this room!” she spat.

“This child is your grandson.”

“He’s no blood to me. My grandson would have black blood flowing through his veins.”

“How can you deny your own?” Jade asked.

Her mother ignored the question. “Is this the child of that white lawyer who paid us a visit?”

“Yes.”

“I thought so. He keeping you? I don’t see no ring on your finger.”

“I love him, Mom.”

“You’re his whore.”

Jade shook her head. “It’s complicated.”

“It always is. They only use us.”

“Charles isn’t like that,” Jade protested.

“Then why isn’t your union blessed?”

“It will be.”

“When?”

“After he divorces his wife.”

“Don’t be a fool, Jade. He’ll never divorce her because he has the best of both worlds. You’re just too stupid too see that.”

“Charles—”

Her mother put her hand up to silence her. “Take him and go back to where you came from.”

“I want to see Dad,” Jade insisted.

“Do you want to kill him? What do you think will happen when he sees that?” She pointed at Preston.

Deep inside, Jade knew her mother was telling her like it was. Her father was no different from her mother and in many ways worse. Years of prejudice had molded them into the hateful people they’d become. She turned to leave as the first tear escaped from the corner of her eye.

“You’re dead to us now, Jade. You hear me?
Dead!
”

“Ma Ma,” Preston said, trying to get her attention.

Tears streamed down Jade’s face as she patted his head.
So be it, Mama. We’ll live without you. To hell with you all.

Jade called Charles from the road. “I’m on my way home,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.

“You sound upset. I take it things didn’t go too well.”

“You might say that. I’ve been disowned.”

“Disowned? That’s rather harsh.”

“Uh-huh—but so damned effective.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I always thought blood was thicker than water.”

“You don’t know my parents. And by the looks of things, you never will.”

“I’ll try to stop by tonight,” he said.

“You don’t have to. I’m exhausted. I didn’t get much sleep last night and the drive knocked me out.”

“All right. I’ll bring some take-out tomorrow night. Feel better, darling. I love you.”

Her mother’s hateful words about her relationship with Charles echoed in her head and all Jade was able to say was, “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

That night, tired as she was, Jade lay awake thinking about the confrontation she’d had with her mother. Had she been so naïve to think she’d get a chance to see her father? Hadn’t she really expected her mother to act exactly as she had? After all, her parents had marched with Martin Luther King only to realize they’d no time or patience for the slow pace that the changes in civil rights were taking. In essence, their views had become radicalized. Growing up in a segregated South, who could really blame them? However, it was time for them to change course again and rejoin the mainstream of society. African-Americans had come a long way and had even reached the White House. Unfortunately, her parents were myopic and just couldn’t read the writing on their crumbling wall. Instead, they’d rather cling to their prejudices.

As Jade stared at the ceiling, she thought about her love for Charles. Was it strong enough to weather all the storms—especially the ones when he wasn’t around? Was she independent and strong enough to raise Preston—no matter what? She wanted to be able to shout out “Yes!” However, she wasn’t certain.

Charles and Jade often discussed Preston’s upbringing. She knew he preferred her to be a stay-at-home mom while the boy was developing his major skills. Charles didn’t want her to place Preston in day care just so she could go back to work. There was no need, because he would take care of them. This was wonderful, but what would she do if Charles ever left her or, God forbid, anything ever happened to Charles? She wanted to prepare for any eventuality by having a job to fall back on. She intended to discuss that with Charles, and the sooner, the better.