Forged in Steele (12 page)

CHAPTER 14

MAREN
stared at the fax machine as the results of the labs she’d couriered out began to print. She held her breath, nearly paralyzed with nervousness. Steele had departed three days earlier, and she hadn’t heard from him—not that she’d expected to. There was no telling just how long he’d be gone, and the very last thing she’d wanted to do when he was leaving on a mission was to tell him she
might
be pregnant with his child.

She hadn’t wanted him to leave without knowing, but then she’d thought that he’d still be there when she got the test results back and she could tell him face to face. But telling him that kind of news, and that she didn’t even have confirmation yet, when he needed absolute focus and concentration wasn’t the right thing to do. How the hell was he supposed to concentrate when his mind was occupied with the knowledge that he might be a father? No, she couldn’t drop that kind of bomb on him, and now she was glad she hadn’t told him the minute he’d arrived because the result would have been the same. He would have had to go before she got the official results, and he’d be left wondering.

Or maybe he would have actually told Sam he couldn’t go? It was a possibility, and one she would have never considered. His job was everything. It consumed his life. He’d admitted he was as married to his career as she was to hers.

But now she was faced with the results, and she’d give anything for him to be here right now. It was selfish of her. Steele saved people. It was who he was, and he was important to KGI. But she wanted him here with her to face the news, whatever it was.

The results were finished printing from the fax machine, but still, she stared down at the papers, hesitating as if they were a creepy bug about to bite her.

“Quit being such a coward,” she muttered. “You knowing one way or another doesn’t change what is. If you’re pregnant, you need to know. If you’re not, then you still need to know.”

After having an argument with herself, she snatched up the printouts and walked back to her desk. She placed the papers in front of her and then sat, taking a deep breath.

She rifled through, looking for the name she’d put on her labs. She’d go back and read the other reports later. If she attempted to make sense of them now, she’d just have to do it all over again anyway. Her only focus was on knowing whether she was pregnant.

Her pulse leapt when she got to her results and she quickly scanned, absorbing those few, life-changing words.

Positive for pregnancy.

She stared in shock, paralyzed by the revelation. Yes, she’d certainly known, suspected, that it was a good possibility. But somehow seeing it there in black and white burst her denial bubble. Maybe in the back of her mind she’d thought the results would come back negative and it all would have been a presumptuous fear on her part. But there it was. She was definitely pregnant and Steele was definitely going to be a father.

Oh God. She was going to be a
mother
.

She sat back in her chair and blew out a long breath. She cupped her hand over her still-flat belly and marveled that there was a tiny life growing inside her. And then, as if knowing the results had suddenly instigated her symptoms, she lurched for the wastepaper basket and emptied the contents of her stomach in a violent retch, her glasses falling down her nose and nearly into the trashcan.

She stayed there, hanging over the basket for a long moment as she tried to catch her breath. Her stomach was in knots and nausea overwhelmed her. Her pulse was racing and sweat broke out on her forehead.

When she was certain she wasn’t going to vomit anymore, she staggered out of her office and into the bathroom so she could wash out her mouth and splash cool water on her face. Then she caught her reflection in the mirror and winced at how pale she appeared.

She braced her palms on the sink and closed her eyes. Pregnant. She was carrying Steele’s baby. No matter how many times she thought it or replayed those three little words on the lab results, she still couldn’t quite wrap her brain around it.

It changed so much. It changed
everything
.

Never mind the fact that Steele was not going to take this kind of news well.
She
wasn’t taking it well! She had a practice in Bumfuck, Costa Rica. It wasn’t an ideal place to have a baby. The nearest hospital was a two-hour drive over crappy roads. She had no access to good prenatal care. Not that she wasn’t fully capable of overseeing her own pregnancy, but she didn’t have things like a sonogram. Or access to sophisticated testing. She had the bare essentials. She sent off labs on her patients to a facility in San Jose, but for anything requiring immediate attention, she directed her patients to make the long drive to the hospital.

What the hell was she going to do?

There was also the fact that while she didn’t mind the dangers of having her practice in a rural area, it was not a place she’d want to have a baby in. She couldn’t very well devote all her time and energy to her patients if she had a newborn to care for.

She walked back to her office in a daze, settling back into her chair. She took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose between two fingers.

This was completely unexpected. But that was what she got for playing with fire. And having sex with Steele was definitely playing with fire. It had been irresponsible and now they’d both pay the price.

She cringed at the thought of laying this kind of news on him. She couldn’t imagine him taking it well at all. He was no better prepared for the responsibility of a baby with his line of work than she was with hers.

How on earth were they supposed to be solid parents when he was off to parts unknown on dangerous missions and she was stuck in an isolated, rural section of Costa Rica providing free medical care for the locals?

That was even assuming he’d want any sort of responsibility when it came to their child.

She winced, knowing it was a shitty assumption on her part. Steele didn’t strike her as the kind of man who’d ever shy away from responsibility. He’d step up. She had no doubt about that. But she couldn’t see him being happy about it.

He’d provide financial support, but she didn’t need that from him. She had an inheritance from her grandparents that she’d split with her brother, and her own parents provided generously whether it was medical equipment and supplies she needed or basic requirements like food and clothing.

She could always move back to the United States and open a private practice, but the thought of that depressed her. She wasn’t cut out for it. With her upbringing, there had never been a question of her having a cushy office, making rounds at a hospital and scheduling time off for vacations. She’d known from the start that she wanted to be a doctor, and she wanted to follow in her parents’ footsteps by traveling the world and offering her services to those who wouldn’t otherwise have quality healthcare.

But she was also practical, and she knew that with the news of her pregnancy came the knowledge that at least for the short term, her plans would have to change. She’d do nothing that put her child at risk.

Her priorities had changed in the blink of an eye. One night of burning-up-the-sheets hot sex had irrevocably altered the course of her life. And maybe Steele’s as well.

She just hoped like hell he didn’t hate her for it. While she shared responsibility for her pregnancy, it certainly wasn’t entirely her fault. Whatever damn condoms he’d used were faulty!

Or maybe he was such a badass that a condom couldn’t hold his little swimmers back.

She laughed at that thought and wiped a hand over her face to relieve some of the tightness. Then she stared back down at the lab report and sighed.

She was done for the day. Patients were long gone. And she still sat in her office as dusk descended, staring at a piece of paper that had upended her entire existence. What she needed was to go back to her cottage, fix herself a nice cup of hot tea and put her feet up.

And then she had to hope that Steele wasn’t gone for weeks on whatever mission he’d been called up on. Now that the initial shock had worn off, her anxiety was through the roof. Steele needed to know so he could process whatever surprise he felt, and then they could work together to find the best solution for their child.

Their child.

She rubbed her belly again as awe set in. She was going to have a baby.

No, it certainly wasn’t the way she’d planned it. Granted, she wasn’t getting any younger, but she’d always figured she’d find a nice guy, maybe even a doctor who shared her goals, settle down, get married and then have children. Much as her own parents had done. Then she and her husband could travel the world with their kids, showing them all the things she’d been shown as a child.

Unfortunately none of that was going to happen now. She was doing it all backward.

Still, the thought of a baby wasn’t an unwelcome one. It would definitely take time to process everything and come to terms with all the many ways her life would change. She smiled, already picturing a little boy or girl with blond hair and blue eyes.

She rose from her seat and collected her bag. On her way through the clinic to the front entrance, she turned off the lights. She mentally rehearsed how she’d tell Steele of her pregnancy.

He’d come back expecting to pick up where they left off, and maybe they even would have worked out some sort of an arrangement where they’d see each other as often as possible. Or perhaps theirs was only a temporary relationship, and after the initial passion and furor, things would die down and they’d gradually stop seeing each other at all.

But none of that was going to happen now. Whatever might have happened over a period of time was no longer a consideration. Their futures were now inexorably linked. They would always share a child and they would always share parental duties and responsibilities.

She pushed open the door and let herself out, turning the key in the lock before pocketing it again. When she turned to take the path to her cottage she nearly ran right into a huge, shadowy form.

“Damn it!” she exclaimed as she hastily stepped back. “Enough already! That’s the second time you’ve scared the wits out of me. What’s with hanging around the door of the clinic waiting for me to come out? Haven’t you ever heard of knocking? Or announcing your presence?”

Mendoza’s errand hulk didn’t seem bothered by her outburst. He stood solemnly, not giving an inch, staring back at her expectantly. What the hell did he expect?

It had been weeks since her last encounter with him and she’d written the entire thing off, thinking Mendoza had forgotten about her. Stupid, but it was what she’d assumed.

“It wasn’t my intention to alarm you,
señorita
.”

“Yeah? Well, you could have fooled me.”

Fear made her words sharper than she intended. His eyes narrowed and he took a step forward. She immediately backed up, putting as much distance between them as possible.

“Señor Mendoza regrets that you were unable to accept his last dinner invitation and wishes to extend another invitation for this evening. I will of course escort you myself.”

She took a deep breath, weighing her options. Even if she made it to her cottage, it would prove no barrier to this man if he really wanted entrance. She needed to keep her calm and make it clear she had no interest in Javier Mendoza. Politely, of course.

“Please extend my apologies to Señor Mendoza. With my schedule I don’t have time for social calls. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a very long, very tiring day, and all I’d like to do is return to my home so I can rest.”

His sigh was heavy and almost regretful sounding. He took another step forward, this time pinning her against the door to the clinic. Panic hit her hard, rendering her incapable of breathing. Her chest burned every time she tried to inhale, and her stomach coiled into a knot.

“I had hoped you would make this easy,” he said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded. “Look, I’ve tried to be polite about this, but I see that’s not working. You need to leave, and don’t come back. I’m not interested. Tell Señor Mendoza I don’t appreciate these little visits to my clinic, nor do I appreciate being scared out of my mind by people lurking in the dark.”

He reached for her arm and she froze, staring fearfully up at him. Oh God. This wasn’t happening.

“You’re to come with me,
señorita
. Don’t make me carry you. I too have been polite, but you’re trying my patience. Señor Mendoza wishes you to have dinner with him, and you’ll attend. Even if I have to carry you there.”

Her mouth gaped open. “You aren’t serious!”

Without another word he hauled her up and tossed her over his shoulder. It happened so fast she didn’t even have time to protest or fight. The ground spun dizzyingly underneath her as her head dangled down his back. Her glasses fell from her nose, hitting the ground, but he never paused.

“Put me down!” she yelled when he started toward a vehicle parked on the road.

His grip tightened at her knees and he kept walking.

When they got to the Range Rover, he put her down, none too gently, and then he opened the door and stuffed her inside. Before he retreated, he put her seat belt on and then stared hard into her eyes.