Forget Me (6 page)

“How about just the tank?” She held up a shimmering violet tank top. “It'll look great with your jeans.”

“Deal.” I'd have preferred something warmer, but it was best to quit while I was ahead.

I put the tank on, and my phone buzzed.

14 Meadow Place.

I drew in a shaky breath. “Here we go.”

I
never told anyone that Flynn broke up with me the night he was killed. Not even Toni. I couldn't count how many times I'd rerun that night in my head. If I'd changed only one thing, Flynn would be alive. If I'd stayed home. If I hadn't seen him on the way to the party and pulled over. If we hadn't fought in the car. If he hadn't dumped me and started walking. If I'd driven slower or faster. Any one of these things and the black SUV would've raced down the street without barreling into him.

But I never shared those feelings with anyone. Toni would just yell at me and say I shouldn't feel guilty. But just because I
shouldn't
didn't mean I wouldn't.

As I drove toward Meadow Place with Toni riding shotgun and Cooper in the back, I thought about what I wanted to happen at this party. Did I want Evan to be Flynn? If he was, then that meant he'd let me believe he was dead. He'd done this cruel thing without even a thought to how much it would hurt me. But if Evan
wasn't
Flynn . . . then Flynn was still dead. And I'd spend more hours lying awake, changing minute details of that night in a futile attempt to save Flynn's life, if only in my mind.

There was no positive outcome.

And, even though Reece invited him, there was no guarantee that the kid would even show up. If he
was
Flynn, he might be worried that I'd be at the party. Or Toni, or one or two of my other friends who'd met him while we were dating. I could be doing all this worrying and he might not even come. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel.

“Why are you guys so quiet?” Cooper called out from the back.

“I just love this song,” I said, turning up the volume. I didn't even know the song. I just couldn't make small talk while my mind was racing.

I slowed as we got near the road. Right before Stell had gone under, the plan for Meadow Place had been another development of McMansions. The developer stopped building after people stopped buying. A few lots only had foundations filled. A couple had frames. And the rest were almost finished—some even had their walls painted and hardwood floors inserted. But none of them ever sold, and they weren't even really for sale now, so they didn't have electricity or heat turned on.

When Reece organized these parties, he did his best to keep them under the radar. He never allowed people to trash the places and always cleaned up afterward. He cased empty houses, found one that had an unlocked window or an easy-to-pick lock, and started planning. He released the address to others at party time. It spread out in a text chain, and within minutes everyone knew where to go. Even though the neighborhood was deserted, Reece always hung light-blocking curtains in any windows, and we parked on an adjacent road so the cars wouldn't attract attention.

I parked on a quiet side street behind some other cars I recognized from school. We each grabbed a flashlight, but kept them off. The rule was no lights until we were inside. We walked up to house fourteen, a large cream-colored colonial. I couldn't even hear the music until we were at the front door.

This was really happening. A drop of cold sweat trickled down my back. I'd wanted to have a speech ready. A great one-liner to throw in his face. Something that told him how angry I was, how hurt I felt. I needed to know how he could've done something so awful. But the words wouldn't arrange themselves in my head.

“What are you waiting for?” Cooper asked, then reached around me and pushed the door open.

Toni pulled me inside and closed the door behind us. The house had finished walls and hardwoods, plus an open floor plan from what would've been a kitchen into the dining and living rooms. A few battery-operated camping lanterns were placed strategically throughout. And, in addition, almost everyone had their own flashlight. I'd been to only a couple of these parties, but they were all the same. In the early hours people mostly stood around and talked. But by the end, people lost themselves in the music and the dancing lights.

We worked our way through the kitchen first. The house had no furniture. Counter space was premium seating. If you were lucky enough to grab a spot, you didn't dare take a bathroom break, because your seat would be taken by the time you got back. A couple of groups were sitting on the floor in the large living room, but most people stood. No dancing yet.

“See him?” Toni whispered into my ear.

I squinted at the crowd. “No. But the light is so dim. I need to find Reece. He'll know if he's here.”

“I'll walk around, do some reconnaissance,” she said, wagging her eyebrows.

“Want a drink?” Cooper yelled over the music.

“No, thanks,” I said, watching Toni disappear into the crowd.

A senior I recognized leaned toward Cooper. “Hey, who's the blond shortie?”

“My sister,” Cooper growled. “And if you even
think
about her, I'll murder you in your sleep.”

The guy backed off, hands held up. “All right, then.”

I snickered. Toni would kill Cooper if she knew how often he did that. But I'd never tell.

I recognized Reece's overstyled hair as he walked by. I tapped his shoulder. “Hey Reece, is Evan here?”

He whistled. “Wow, you just get right down to it, huh? All this from a FriendShare photo? I mean, he's a good-enough-looking guy, but—”

“Reece,” I interrupted. “Is he here or not?”

He scanned the room for a moment. “I don't think he's here yet.”

I gritted my teeth. “You promised.”

“Relax.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “He'll show. Go have a good time.”

I wandered into the living room. Electronic music pumped from a speaker and a few people had started to dance, waving their flashlights above their heads. I leaned my back against the nearest wall and watched the dizzying patterns of lights on the ceiling. They seemed to pulse with the music.

Even with no heat, the air in the house felt humid. I was glad Toni had made me wear the tank top after all. After a few minutes, she rejoined me.

“Having fun holding up this wall?” she teased.

“I can't just walk around and make small talk,” I said. “Not when he could come in that door at any moment.”

“How about I talk to keep your mind off it? Would that help?”

I nodded, but my eyes were still scanning the crowd.

Toni examined her manicure. “Let's see. Well, Reece told me how much he was looking forward to our date, and I asked him if he'd mind wearing a paper bag over his head with a picture of Ian Somerhalder glued onto it. Amy is making out with Jacob in the corner, so I guess they didn't stay broken up for long. Diana is coming to get Cooper, but she won't deign to come inside, so she's going to text him when she's here. How obnoxious is that? I mean, she only graduated a few months ago. She couldn't come in for one second?”

“Totally agree,” I said.

The front door opened, and my breath caught in my throat. But it was only Nikki Trotto. She did a slow walk through the room. “Hey, girls,” she said, looking us up and down in her pinched-nose judgy way.

“Hey, Nikki,” Toni unenthusiastically replied.

Modeling herself after reality-show girls, Nikki had adopted a nickname. She told everyone that people called her Sikki because her body was so “sick.” But we all knew she gave the nickname to herself. And even in the dim light, she still looked like she'd taken a bath in Cheetos.

“Bronzer much?” Toni whispered, and I held back a laugh.

I had to admit, Toni's mindless gossip was actually helping to calm me down. I could already feel some of the tension release from my shoulders. I closed my eyes and did a slow neck roll.

“Boo,” someone said in my ear. My eyes snapped open, but a blinding light forced them closed again.

“Stop it,” Toni said, and then I heard a smacking sound.

After a moment, I could see again. It was Reece. Though Toni had wrestled away his flashlight.

“I'm only fooling around,” he said, sounding sufficiently chastised.

“What do you want?” I said.

He pointed toward the kitchen. “He's here.”

My lungs seized.

I followed the line of his finger to a tall guy standing alone against a wall. He wore a red baseball hat, same as in his FriendShare profile picture, but the bill hung low over his face. I couldn't see his features from this distance.

Reece grabbed his flashlight back and wandered into the crowd.

“Want me to walk by first?” Toni asked. “Get a look?”

I nodded, barely able to get a word out.

Toni sauntered by him and giggled as she playfully grabbed the hat off his head. Then she disappeared around the corner. I watched as he raised his hands in the air, wondering what had just happened. Within seconds Toni snuck up behind me.

Like I said. Ninja.

“I think it's Flynn,” she breathed at my back. “It's
almost
him . . . but I don't know.” She paused. “You would know better than me.”

I had to approach him. This was the moment. I took a deep breath and silently told my nerves to calm the hell down. I couldn't freak out and blow it now.

I pushed my way through the crowd, my eyes never leaving the back of his head. I crept up behind him. His frame was the same—the broad shoulders, the height. I reached my hand out and held it in the air above his shoulder. So close. All I had to do was touch him and he'd turn around.

But suddenly I had a better idea. Thanks to Reece.

I quickly spun around to his front and held my flashlight up to his face, so I could examine him but he couldn't see me.

His hair was short, brown rather than black, but that could've been easily changed with nine bucks and a box of dye. I searched his face and immediately recognized features. Those gray eyes, pale as ice, his strong nose, the jawline I'd laid a trail of kisses along.

My heart hammered in my chest.

He winced. “What's with the light in the eyes?” he said, and let out a nervous laugh.

And that's when I saw it.

As he smiled, a dimple formed in his left cheek. It was a great smile—half-cocky, half-adorable—but it wasn't Flynn's. You can't hide a dimple, and I'd seen Flynn smile enough times to know he didn't have one.

Evan looked a hell of a lot like Flynn, but he wasn't him.

I brought the flashlight back down to my side. Evan blinked quickly as his eyes readjusted. And then he saw
me
for the first time.

He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. His eyes flashed with what looked like recognition and then widened with something unexpected. Fear.

He mumbled something I couldn't hear and walked away. I stood for a moment, stunned. He wasn't Flynn. I was sure of that. I didn't know this boy.

But he knew me.

With a jolt, I regained the use of my muscles. I dashed into the living room, but everyone was dancing now, and the spinning flashlights made it impossible for me to pick out his face. I ran down the hall and checked the bathroom—empty. I circled back to the kitchen and frantically looked from tall guy to tall guy.

Someone grabbed my arm.

“Hey,” Reece said. “What did you say to Evan?”

“I didn't say anything. Why?”

Reece let me go and gave me a skeptical look. “It was weird. He ran up to me, pointed you out, and asked who you were. I told him your name and he took off. What the hell did you do? Try to jump him? Down, girl,” he said, laughing.

I groaned and shook my head. “So he just . . . left?”

“Yeah.” Reece turned uncharacteristically serious for a moment. “Morgan, he seemed . . . spooked. Why would he be scared of
you
?”

“T
hanks for leaving early with me,” I said to Toni later that night in my bedroom. I'd changed into my pajamas and washed my face, though I was nowhere near ready for sleep. My mind was still racing.

Toni had changed, too, and was now sitting up in bed scrolling through FriendShare on her phone. “No problem,” she said, dropping the phone onto her lap. “I mean, I would've been freaked out, too.”

I slumped into my desk chair. “What do you think it means, that he knows me?”

“He didn't know you,” Toni said. “He asked Reece who you were.”

“Yeah, but he recognized me. I saw it in his face. And Reece said he seemed afraid of me.”

Toni gave me a look. “Well, you did ambush him and blast your flashlight in his eyes. And some other girl had just stolen his hat.”

I hadn't thought of it that way. Was it possible that he hadn't recognized me at all? He was just . . . wigged out? There he was, at a party where he didn't know anyone but some random dude from FriendShare, then one girl runs off with his hat and another blinds him with a flashlight. Maybe he was just annoyed and left. Maybe the rest was all in my head.

“How do you feel about scrounging up some snackage for us?” Toni asked.

That was the least I could do after freaking out. “Salty or sweet?”

“Surprise me!”

I tossed her the remote for the small television that sat on top of my dresser. “Your job is to find something good for us to watch.”

I tiptoed downstairs, the plush carpet scuffing against my slippers. My parents were awake when we got home, but they'd be asleep by now. As I got to the bottom step, though, I paused. There were voices in the kitchen.

I held my breath and listened. I stood still and tried to make out some of the words. I didn't usually sneak around eavesdropping on my parents, but something about their tone made me hesitate. It was hushed. Secretive. They wouldn't be worried about waking me and Toni up. They knew we stayed up half the night when we were together. So the only other answer was that they were talking about something they didn't want me to overhear.

I crept along the wall and moved silently through the living room, avoiding the open doorway that led to the kitchen. Closer now, I could hear them better.

“I just don't think the time is right,” my dad said.

“Noah, I'm starting to think you'll never find a right time,” my mom snapped.

Her tone shocked me. Just because my parents never fought in front of me, I wasn't naïve enough to think that they never fought at all. But still, it was shocking to hear them talk to each other this way.

“Consider that for a moment,” Dad said.

“Consider what?”

“That maybe she doesn't ever need to know.”

She? She who? Me?
I slid along the wall, trying to get as close as I could to the doorway.

“But what if she finds out from someone else?” Mom said. “Have you thought through the repercussions of that? I think it should come from us.”

I strained to listen. I was barely breathing. If I could've momentarily stopped my heart from beating to hear better, I would have. I took one more step and put my hand up against the wall for balance. But it wasn't the wall, it was the light switch. And apparently my flannel pj's, slippers, and slow shuffle across the carpet had created a perfect storm. The biggest static electricity shock I'd ever gotten shot out from the light switch to my hand. I saw blue.

And . . . I yelled.

Chairs screeched as both my parents jumped up from the kitchen table. They appeared in the doorway a moment later, looking concerned as I cradled my electrocuted hand.

“What happened?” Mom asked.

“Um, I came down for some snacks, and I went to hit the light switch and got shocked.”

Now that it was clear I wasn't really hurt, my dad laughed. “It's those stupid slippers.” He pointed down at my favorite bunny slippers. They were so old, the bottoms were nearly worn through. “You have to throw those things out.”

“Never!” I battle-cried and shuffled forward on the carpet to recharge. Then I reached out my hand like a weapon.

He backed up a step, and I swiped at the air. “Missed me!” he called, and then ran up the stairs like a kid.

I smiled. Dad and I had waged static electricity wars before. Neither of us had outgrown them yet, obviously. It had even almost made me forget the conversation I'd walked in on. Almost, but not quite.

Mom went into the kitchen and took two mugs off the table and placed them in the sink.

“You guys are up late,” I pointed out, eyeing the cups.

She wiped her hands on a dish towel and smiled. “Heading up now.”

I hesitated for a moment. “What were you talking about?”

Her smile faltered. “A lot of things. Why?”

It felt like we were playing a game. And for some reason I didn't want to show all my cards. “I thought I heard something about me, maybe.”

She turned away and opened a cabinet. She pulled out a yellow bag and pressed it into my hands. “Sour Patch Kids,” she said. “Toni's favorite, right?”

I nodded and kneaded the bag of candy with my fingers. Whatever the conversation had been about, Mom wanted me to let it go. But I couldn't. I had to try one more time. I took a step forward, closing the distance between us. “Is there something I need to know, Mom?”

Her eyes darted to the doorway and back at me. “You were at Toni's house earlier tonight, right?”

“Yeah. We got ready for the party there.”

“I'd prefer it if you did that here,” she said matter-of-factly.

I gave her a questioning look. “Huh?”

Mom lowered her voice. “The Klanes are kind of a mess right now. I'm sure you know that. And your father and I just . . . don't want you in that environment.”

She reached out and gently tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “You know we love Toni,” she said. “She's welcome here anytime.”

Before I could formulate any follow-up questions, Mom brushed by me and went upstairs. Clutching the bag of candy in my hand, I thought about her explanation. Could that be it? They'd only been talking about not wanting me at Toni's house? That wasn't exactly a big secret.

I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more.