Forgive Me (Callaway Book 2) (9 page)

"He's a good man," was all she managed to say.

"Yes, he is. He's a lot like his father, tied to this land but ruled by his heart." She knew Kathy was referring to Drew deciding to stay in Montana. Looking back, she knew Drew had made the best choice for himself. She couldn't hate him for not coming with her; he would have ended up resenting her for making him leave.

"I never meant to hurt him," she told her, tears flowing down her face as the emotions she'd kept buried for years finally erupted.

Kathy grabbed both of her hands, forcing Amanda to look her in the eye. "Oh, baby girl, I know, and he knows that, too. My boy, he's a stubborn one. He gets that from his father, but he loves deeply. When I met their father, I fell in love on the spot, and he did, too. There's a saying that when the Callaway men fall in love, they fall in love hard and fast. Once they give their hearts, it's forever. Drew has always been in love with you, Amanda, and he always will be. The teenage boy survived you leaving once, but the man…well, I'm not sure he can survive that again. What I'm saying, darling, is that I see the love you have for him in your eyes, but if you can't see it for yourself, then be careful with Drew."

Tears trickled down her cheeks, and she knew she had to leave before having a complete meltdown. "He's the only man I've ever loved, Kathy. The only man I've ever…I should go."

"Amanda, I didn't mean to upset you," Kathy told her. She knew she was trying to comfort her, but all she wanted was to be alone.

She hugged Kathy, doing her best to reassure her. "I'm okay. I'll be back in three days to pick up the first order. Thank you, Kathy."

"You're family, Amanda. It's my pleasure." Amanda hurried out of the house and completely ignored Nick as he called her name, asking her if she was all right. She got in her truck and headed for the one place where she could forget everything: Owen's Bar.

The parking lot was relatively empty when she pulled up to the bar, reminding her that she was about to get drunk before 6 p.m. She walked inside and ignored the looks from strangers and the inquiries from acquaintances. She took a seat at the bar when she saw Owen was working.

"Amanda, what can I get for you?" She looked up at Owen Thompson and smiled at how much he still looked like the heartbreaker he had been back in high school. All the girls wanted one of the Callaways or Thompsons back in the day, and from the looks of the women giving her the death stare that evening, things hadn't changed much. Owen, Jake, Chase and Josh had been like her brothers growing up, but she and Owen had always been the closest, since they were the same age. Almost every memory she had of high school included Drew and Owen.

"Whiskey straight, and keep them coming, Owen." She watched his expression change and recognized coming to drink her worries away probably hadn't been the best idea.

He looked at her like he was trying to decide what he should do, but before she could say anything, he handed her a glass and filled it with Jack Daniels. "What's got you drinking the hard stuff, darling?"

She laughed, but she was pretty sure it sounded more like a sob. "Well, let's see. I'm going broke trying to pay off my dad's debts, my house is falling apart, and apparently the saying that your first love never dies is dead-on."

"We'll fix your house, Amanda." She downed the whiskey and watched as he filled it back up without any questions.

She threw her drink back once more. "Why did you guys even agree to this?" she asked him, satisfying the curious part of herself. Sure, they had all grown up together, but she hadn't been a part of their lives for years. It just didn't make sense to her.

"Because you're like family, Amanda." She watched him as he spoke and knew he was being honest, but no matter how many times people told her she was like family, she couldn't get herself to feel like they were right.

"I don't have a family, not anymore." She was alone. Even in a bar full of people, she felt alone, and she hated it.

"You have us, and you have Drew." Everyone kept telling her she had Drew, but the truth was she didn't. He hadn't made a move.

He flirted but nothing more. She knew how intense Drew could be, and she hadn't seen that side of him. Maybe he wasn't in love with her anymore. She wasn't the same girl he once had feelings for, after all; hell, even her body wasn't the same anymore. "Everyone keeps saying that, but you know what? I
don't
have Drew."

"You'll always have Drew, and you'll always have us, Amanda. Just because you left to find yourself doesn't mean you don't matter to us anymore. You'll always be family to us," Owen told her from behind the bar.

She desperately wanted to change the subject, so she gave him her best smile. "How is it y'all got better-looking with time?" That was the truth, too. Owen was 6'4 with wide shoulders and arms as big as her thighs, with dark brown hair that almost looked black, and the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. He had tattoos peeking from under his T-shirt, and he was the definition of dangerously hot. He was such a contrast to Drew, who had light brown hair that had grown longer and green eyes she could always get lost in. It was hard to believe these two guys could be best friends.

"Flattering my ego will get you free drinks, Mandy, but that's about it. Putting the moves on you would piss off Drew to the point of murderous rage, and I like my life, darling." She laughed at his words because Drew had shown no real signs that he still cared. Or had he?

"I don't even think he likes me that way anymore." She wasn't trying to feel sorry for herself, but the truth of the matter was she didn't know how Drew felt about her anymore. It didn't matter how much she still loved him because if he didn't feel the same, if he didn't care about her anymore, at least beyond the realm of friendship, nothing she felt mattered.

"Oh, trust me, he does," Owen replied with a smirk that would have made most women swoon at the man's feet.

"I mean, I know I'm not as thin as I was back then, and I hear he slept his way around three towns." Listening to women talk in the diner about Drew's sex life and what having sex with him had been like had been one of the hardest adjustments she'd had to make. She hated that other women knew what it was like to sleep with Drew and she didn't. She hated knowing he was the only man she'd ever let inside of her heart, the only man she'd ever thought about giving that part of herself to, and that he'd slept with more women than she cared to think about.

"I won't lie to you and tell you he was a monk, but you're the only he's ever loved. Deep down, you know that, and you're hot as hell, so don't go thinking Drew doesn't want to fuck you sideways, 'cause I can promise you, he does." He filled her drink back up before leaving her alone with her thoughts as he tended to other customers.

One of the things Drew adored most about the ranch was sitting out on the porch and watching the stars. He knew it made him sound like a girl, but there was something calming about sitting outside, with the wind blowing and the stars shining. He grabbed his ringing phone from the side table and looked at the caller ID. "Owen, what's up?"

"You need to get your ass down here, now." Drew wasn't sure if that was annoyance or laughter he was hearing in his best friend's voice. However, he knew whatever was going on was important or else he wouldn't be calling at one in the morning.

He grabbed his keys and headed to his truck. "What's going on?"

"Your girl showed up early this evening and got real acquainted with Jack Daniels." He didn't know if he wanted to be mad at her or smile his ass off, because he knew damn well that for her to be drinking meant she had to be feeling out of control.

"I'm on my way." Driving down to the bar, the only thing he cared about was finding out what the hell Amanda was doing drinking by herself. The idea of her drunk in a bar full of men, looking at her like she was their next meal, made him want to kill someone. He knew Owen would never let anything happen to her, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

When he pulled up to the bar, he saw Owen outside with Amanda, who was singing and dancing while looking sexy as hell. He glanced at Owen who had his hands up in surrender, and he took a deep breath before walking toward them. When she saw him, she ran toward him; he opened his arms and braced himself for the impact.

The one thing he knew about Amanda drunk was that she loved physical contact, so when she jumped on him, he was ready. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he grabbed her denim-covered ass, groaning at the feel of her. "Drew, you're here. You're so hot." She was definitely drunk, but damn if she wasn't adorable.

She pressed her face into the crook of his neck and it felt so damn good holding her, he didn't want to let her go. "All right, let's get you home, baby."

"Hmmmm, are you going to kiss me if I go home with you? Because I really want you to kiss me." She licked his neck and started grinding her hips over his erection, moaning at the friction.

When she licked his ear and started whispering all the things she wanted him to do to her, he pushed her against the back of his truck and pinned her in place with his body. If he felt her grind on his hip for one more second, he wouldn't be able to stop, and there was no way he was doing this with her drunk. "Jesus Christ, Amanda."

She looked at him and he saw a flash of sadness pass across her eyes. He hated that look, but he couldn't take advantage of her, not like this. "You don't want me?" The disappointment and embarrassment he heard in her voice was something new coming from her. She had always been so confident, and he didn't like seeing this new vulnerability from her.

"Fuck, Amanda, I want you more than I want my next breath right now, but you're drunk and we are not those people. Let's get you home." He forced himself to stay in control. Fucking her in that moment would've been so easy, but it wouldn't mean anything, and that wasn't going to work for him.

He carried her to the other side of his truck, still holding her up, and dropped her down on the seat before buckling her in. When she kissed the side of his neck as he fixed her seatbelt, he felt his control slip. "You put those lips on me again, Amanda, and I won't care that you're drunk. I'll take you right here in the cab of my truck. I'm hanging on by a thread here. Help me out." She didn't say anything, just nodded, and he thanked God for making her cooperate.

When she was settled in the truck, he walked back to where Owen stood, watching him with a huge grin on his face. "Thanks for calling me, man."

Owen shrugged it off like it wasn't a big deal, but they both knew it was. "No problem. Figured if she was drinking to forget you, I wasn't about to let her leave with another man."

The mention of her leaving with another man made him clench his fists, but he quickly shook the image out of his head. "I owe you."

"You would have done the same if she would have been mine. Now, get your girl home." His girl. Damn, that sounded right. Yeah, she
was
his, and he was going to make her see that sooner rather than later.

She stayed silent on the drive home. He kept checking on her every few minutes, making sure she was okay because Amanda drunk wasn't usually quiet. She focused on her hands which were crossed on top of her thighs; she looked so fragile. "What were you doing at Owen's bar?"

She didn't answer him until they pulled in her drive. "Trying to forget."

He put his truck in park, unbuckled his seatbelt, and turned his body so he was facing her. "Forget what?"

She looked up at him, and the sorrow he saw in her eyes broke his heart. "You." She said it like she was hoping he wouldn't hear her.

"Why were you trying to forget me?" he asked calmly.

"Because I want you so much, and it's all I can think about, and it's not fair that you're this hot." She turned her head back to face the passenger window. When he didn't speak, she unbuckled her seatbelt and her hand went to the handle.

Before she could climb out of his truck, he reached for her shoulder, smiling when she jumped a little at his touch. He moved his body across the console so his mouth was right beside her ear and gave her the words that would change everything. "You have me, Amanda. You've always had me."

Chapter Five

Five in the
morning came way too soon. He rolled out of bed, his aching muscles urging him to go back to bed, but he couldn't. For the past two weeks, he'd been working twenty hours a day between fixing Amanda's place and the work that still needed to be done on the ranch. They were making good progress on the house, and everyone was giving it their all, but he could tell they were feeling the exhaustion.

He walked into the shower, letting the warm water ease the ache in his muscles. Everything in his body went lax under the water except his cock, which had been permanently hard for the past few weeks. Amanda had been at the house almost every day, doing whatever she could to help them, and having her around looking all sweet and damn gorgeous was torture. The first day, she greeted them wearing those damn cut-off shorts that made her ass look perfect. When he caught Owen looking at her ass, he all but killed the man. The next day, she was right there on her front porch wearing a sundress that made his mouth water, showing off her curves. She was driving him insane, and the worst part was she had no idea she was doing it.