Forgiving You: A Bluebell Valley Novel (5 page)

“You broke my heart,” she said in a low voice as she turned around, freeing herself from Austin’s grasp. She didn’t want to stay here anymore. This was too much for her.

Austin

Sam had been in love with him. After all these years, he finally had an answer to that question.

Austin couldn’t let her go, not now. He knew she was upset and wanted to get away―probably as far as possible from him―but there were things he had to tell her, too.

After what she’d said today, he now knew how deep the cut was in Sam’s heart, and even though he might not be able to heal it, he wanted to try. She had been in love with him once, and he wanted to know if that could happen again. He had never stopped loving her. Sam had always been on his mind, even when he was trying to stay as far away from her as possible. It had been so hard on him, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. It was actually the worst mistake he’d ever made.

“I’m sorry,” Austin said as Sam was opening her car door. She didn’t look at him, but he took a step closer. “I was so stupid. I should have made time for you, but I didn’t. I can’t fix the past, but I want to fix the present.” Sam was still looking at her hands, tightly holding the door handle. “You don’t even know how much I regret losing you.”

“That’s not enough, Austin,” she whispered. Taking another step closer, he risked grabbing her hand and taking it away from the door handle. Sam resisted for a second, but finally let go. It felt so natural to hold her hand in his that he almost forgot what he was about to say.

“I don’t even know who you are anymore,” Sam admitted. Her eyes were still avoiding Austin’s, but that didn’t discourage him.

“I’m still the Austin you knew.”

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve heard all day,” Sam snapped as she took her hand back. She turned around, ready to leave when Austin grabbed her hand again.

“Let me show you, okay? Dad’s been working on the water pump. Come fix it with me. Like old times.”

“I don’t think it’s―”

“Please. Just come,” Austin pleaded, pulling gently on Sam’s hand. He could see in her eyes that she was scared and just wanted to leave, but he hoped there was a spark of curiosity inside her that would make her stay. “I’m just asking you to sit down and talk to me while I work on the pump, okay?”

Austin looked into Sam’s beautiful green eyes, wondering how he could have ever abandoned her. She was the most incredible woman he knew, inside and out. There wasn’t anyone as sweet and caring as her.

“Why do you even what me to stay? I’m just… bitter and mean with you.”

Austin could remember very clearly what she had said during her interview, how hurt she had been. It was still affecting her, but this was all his fault. He knew Sam wasn’t a bitter or a mean person at heart. She had been hurt, and it was his mistake to fix.

“I know you better than that,” he said softly. “You’re a good person, with a good heart. And I’d like us to… have a second chance.”

If Austin and Sam could be friends again, he knew it would be enough for him. He wanted to see her happy, and he was ready to do everything it took to make that happen.

“Okay,” she finally whispered and Austin couldn’t hide his smile. “But no cameras.”

“Not a problem,” Austin replied as he led her to the back of the house.

Austin couldn’t be happier now that she was giving him a chance. They would finally get a moment to talk and he could explain to her what happened at MIT and why he’d decided to change. Sam might not understand, but at least she would know the reason. He could also explain to her how lonely he was now and that he wished he had done things differently. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, he didn’t even know where he was going to start.

As they turned the corner and arrived behind the house, Austin spotted his father bent over the pump. Seeing the amount of water leaking, Austin quickly understood that Benjamin hadn’t been able to fix it yet. It would be his son’s turn.

“Hey, Dad. Let me get that for you. I think they want to interview you and Mom now, anyway.”

“Oh, I’m not sure―” The old man turned around and stopped when he saw Sam. “Samantha, what a pleasure to see you! I wasn’t expecting you.”

Austin remembered how much his father liked Sam. She had always made him feel comfortable, like no one else in town could. Benjamin was a bit like his son: shy and kept mostly to himself. But Sam had a way to make his face shine and Austin had forgotten all about that.

“It’s nice to see you again too, Mr. Cole,” Sam said with a smile on her face.

“I should probably get ready,” Benjamin said as tried to dry the wet spots on his shirt. “Say hi to Gemma for me.”

“I will,” Sam replied as Benjamin left to go back inside the house.

“He always had a sweet spot for you,” Austin said as his father disappeared around the corner.

“He’s a nice man.”

“He is,” Austin replied. Seeing Sam interact with his father like that reminded him of how superficial all the woman he had met on the East Coast were. If he ever invited one to his orchard, she would have been so clueless about everything. Sam looked like she was at home, already finding a log to sit on while Austin was digging through his father’s tools. He knew deep down that he’d never find another girl like her.

“You might want to remove your jacket, first…” Sam giggled as Austin bent over the pump. She was right; it was better not to ruin this suit yet. And it was already getting hot outside.

“Yes, you’re right,” he said as he stood up again and removed his jacket. He folded it, looking for a place to put it.

“Give it to me,” Sam said as she grabbed it from his hands.

“Thanks,” he replied with a sweet smile. He started rolling up his sleeves and caught Sam’s eyes on his arms. It made his smile a bit wider as he bent down again over the pump. The machine was pretty rusted and would need a lot of work, but that wasn’t going to stop Austin.

“I miss this,” he admitted as he turned the pump off to work on it.

“Miss what?”

“Working on projects.
Real
projects. All I’m doing now is paperwork and managing. It’s not what I imagined.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have a great life?” Sam asked with a bit of bitterness in her tone. He could see where it was coming from, so he decided to let it go. Austin knew he had to gain her trust again, and that wasn’t going to happen in a few seconds.

“It gets… lonely sometimes,” he admitted. Even if it was something that he knew, he had never said it aloud to anyone. After all, it wasn’t like he had a lot of friends to confess to. Sam wasn’t really his friend anymore, but she was the closest thing he had to one. William and he had never been really close, simply sharing glamorous glimpses of their lives over a beer. “There are lots of things I wish I had done differently.”

“Like keeping in touch with me?”

“That’s one of them, yes.”

“Why didn’t you do it, anyway? It’s been ten years and I still don’t get it.”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

As Austin started working on the pump, his thoughts drifted back to that night where he left Bluebell Valley and Sam behind him, hoping to come back as a successful engineer. He’d never thought he’d turn into a businessman, let alone that he’d abandon the people that were the most important to him.

“We both wanted to leave Bluebell Valley, and I know I was supposed to wait for you, but when I got to MIT… It was my world, you know? I was surrounded with people like me, who shared similar dreams. I became so obsessed with all my projects and homework that I just didn’t have any time for the people in Bluebell anymore. All that counted, at the time, was to get the best grade and impress my teachers. I couldn’t let you or anyone else distract me, as it was the best chance I had at becoming
someone
.”

Austin peeked at Sam, who had closed her eyes. She was facing the sun, letting it warm up her face. Even if she was silent and didn’t look like she was paying attention to him, he knew she was listening.

“The harder I worked, the more I realized I wanted to succeed. Slowly, I taught myself business, marketing, and everything you need to know to run your own company. I knew exactly where I wanted to be, and I worked toward that, leaving Bluebell Valley behind me for good. Abandoning those roots made me lose perspective, and my dream of saving the world turned into a dream of making money.”

“Why did you just now come back to Bluebell Valley, if you realized what was happening to you?” Sam asked, taking Austin by surprise.

“I… It was too late already. The damage had been done, and I didn’t know how to undo it. Or even if I wanted to undo it. I thought I was happy, until I realized a few years ago that money doesn’t buy happiness.”

Austin could clearly remember how miserable he’d been. His job wasn’t as fulfilling as it once was, but he didn’t know what to do about it. He wasn’t going to abandon ship, but he hadn’t figured out what to do to make himself feel alive again. It had numbed him to a point he thought he couldn’t come back from, until he’d seen Sam’s blonde hair at the liquor store.

“I have all the money a man can wish for. Once, it was what I wanted the most, but not anymore.

“What do you want now?”

“Peace and quiet,” Austin replied without hesitating. “People that I can trust around me.”

He knew exactly what he wanted because he had been craving for it for so long already. Why hadn’t he come to Bluebell Valley by himself, instead of waiting for a TV show to bring him back here?

“You said the old Austin is still there. I’m sorry, but I don’t see it,” Sam admitted as she looked at him. It was true: Austin had changed. But he was ready to change back. He didn’t want to wear the mask he had made for himself years ago, even if a part of it had blended into who he was now. He could never go back to being the shy person that he used to be, but he could still have a heart just as big.

“Come here,” he said as he waved Sam to come closer to him. “I need a hand.” He watched her hesitate for a second before she stood up and put his jacket down on the log. All those small victories, the steps they were taking in right direction, made him happier than ever. He realized that the closer Sam was getting to him, the faster his heart was beating.

“What do you want me to do?” she asked as she leaned over the pump too. She was so close to him, their arms brushing against each other. Austin knew he was attracted to his old best friend, but he was always surprised at how much of an effect she had on him. It almost made him forget why he’d asked her to come next to him.

“Right,” he said, trying to get his mind back together. “Could you hold this pipe in place while I tighten this?”

Whenever he had built or repaired something in the past, he had always loved to have Sam around to help. When she had clear orders, she knew exactly what to do and turned out to be very useful. It had also been an excuse to have her over as often as possible. Austin was doing the same thing today; repairing the pump with Sam was simply an excuse to make her stay longer.

“How have
you
been?” he asked her. Now that they were both working on the pump, their faces were only inches from each other and the temptation to kiss her was too strong for him. He needed a distraction. “You haven’t told me much about what happened in your life since I left…”

“It’s… there’s not much to say,” Sam admitted. Austin could see that she kept her eyes on the pipe she was holding, avoiding his eyes.

“I’m sorry about your father. I never got a chance to tell you.”

“Thanks.”

Austin knew how important Sam’s father had been to her. She had inherited most of her features from him, and she had the same caring heart he had.

And Austin hadn’t been there for her… There were so many things he had missed because he was too busy building his empire. He had been running after things that were not important for so long.

“You still work at the bakery?”

“Mmhm,” Sam said as she nodded. Of all the things he had thought Sam would do when she graduated, he never believed for a second that she would take over her parents’ bakery. Yes, it was a family business, but she had so many dreams. She wanted to see the world, become a psychologist and help as many people as possible. She wasn’t meant to stay in Bluebell Valley and bake bread all day long. She had so much potential. It seemed wasted to Austin, but then he remembered what happened with his own potential and realized that sometimes, wasted potential wasn’t such a bad thing if it meant you kept the people you loved close to you.

“I studied in Seattle for two years. I was halfway through my Bachelor’s when I heard that my dad had passed away. I couldn’t find an opportunity to leave after that. Now it’s too late.”

“It’s never too late,” Austin replied, knowing better than anybody how true this was. For so long, he thought his relationship with Sam was over and now they were here, talking casually.

“How I am supposed to leave my mother here and go back to college? Even if I could, I’m not sure that’s what I want anymore.”

“What do you want?” Austin asked. Sam had never been able to stop talking about her dream of becoming a psychologist when they were still in high school. If she’d given up on that, what else could she possibly have?