Forgotten Dreams (18 page)

"Then I hope you're looking forward to retiring in this area, Steven. I don't want your ring back," she told him firmly and without hesitation, wondering as she did, how she could ever have thought herself in love with this insufferable man.

"That's what you say now, but after we've spent some time together, I'm sure you'll feel differently Let's start by having dinner this evening."

"Dinner's out of the question, Crowell," said Christian from the doorway. "Antonia and I have plans this evening."

At the first sound of Christian's voice, Toni Steven turned and stared at him in surprise. There was a look of utter astonishment on Steven's face. His mouth, opened wide in amazement, reminded Toni of one of the fish waiting outside to be cleaned.

His expression quickly changed to one of suspcious belligerence. "What are you doing here?" he asked an grily.

Christian strolled lazily into the room, not stopping until he was standing beside Toni.

With a practiced ease that caused Steven's eyes to narrow, he slipped an arm around Toni's waist.

"You could say I live here, or rather, next door leased Cartlaigne for six months."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Steven turned accusing eyes on Toni. "Is he the reason you're being so stubborn about everything?"

"I didn't tell you about Christian living next door Steven, because frankly I didn't see how it concerned you. As for your last question, don't you think we've discussed that issue enough?"

"I won't stop until you come to your senses," he threw out challengingly. "I'm staying at the Ramada on the bluff." He turned and walked to the door, then paused. "I'll call you later, when we can talk without being interrupted."

He stomped loudly down the hall and slammed the front door with a resounding bang. Moments later Toni heard a car flinging gravel as it sped down the half-mile drive to the blacktop.

"I don't think your friend Steven has learned to control his temper at all, do you, Antonia?" Christian asked against the deafening silence hanging over the room.

"In all fairness, his anger didn't surface until you entered the picture," she pointed out. "Which is also rather surprising. I never realized Steven was jealous."

Christian turned her around to face him, his arms completely shackling her to him. "Since I'm sure you took your engagement to him very seriously he probably didn't have cause to be jealous. But that's over. Now there's someone else in your life and I won't allow the likes of Steven Crowell to intimidate my woman."

"Aren't you being rather bossy, Mr. Barr? And possessive?" Toni grinned up at him. "I don't recall you asking your woman what she thinks about you deciding if and when she can see another man."

"I think, Miss Grant," he said in a tone of voice Toni had difficulty defining, "that permission, along with several other things, was given to me today by that certain woman on a blanket beside a lake."

Whether or not she could have convinced Steven the next day that there could never be a reconciliation between them, Toni wasn't to know. For during the night, in the early hours before dawn, she was awak-ened by Mrs. D and told that her aunt had quietly died in her sleep.

The next couple of days seemed to stretch intermi-nably for Toni and Susie as they prepared for their aunt's funeral.

Creighton Samuels, Jr., of the law firm of Samuels, Samuels, and Clark, had given Toni and Susie a sym pathetic grin when he told them of their aunt's instructions concerning her own funeral. She had demanded that it be held privately with a minimum of fuss, as soon as possible after her death. "Even in death Miss Sara was determined to have her way," he told them solemnly.

"I wouldn't be surprised to actually hear her reprimand us if we don't carry on exactly as she's instructed," Toni remarked. She turned and reached for the fresh pot of coffee Mrs. D had made. "More coffee, Creighton? Susie?"

At a nod from each, she refilled their cups and her own, then leaned back in her chair. Creighton was an old and good friend. Both Toni and Susie had dated him in high school. He joined his father's firm directly out of law school. Oddly enough, something about his blond, boyish appearance had pleased Sara Cartlaigne Shortly after he became associated with the firm, she changed from Creighton senior to his son.

"This is one time I'd like to go against her wishes," Toni said with a sigh. "I feel like some sort of monster burying her so quickly."

"I agree," Susie said softly. "But to be quite honest, Toni, I'd be afraid not to. Lightning might strike us if we didn't follow her instructions to the letter."

The funeral was just as Sara Cartlaigne had wanted. Afterward the reading of the will took place in the small, seldom used library at the cottage.

Mrs. D was taken care of for life. Sara also asked that Toni allow the housekeeper to make her home at the cottage if the older woman so desired.

The Cartlaigne jewelry was left equally to Toni and Susie, as was Sara's money. But it was a surprise to everyone that Aunt Sara had willed the cottage to Toni.

Now, for the first time, an unmarried Cartlaigne female had been given the right to sell the property. It had also been Sara's choice that Toni be her heir to the antiques and the few acres making up the small estate.

CHAPTER TEN

Toni sat across the table from Steven, barely able to contain herself as the meal drew to a close. Some ridic-ulous sense of loyalty had prompted her to accept his invitation, that and the kindness he'd shown since her aunt died. Since Christian was away for the day, tbere didn't seem any harm in having lunch with her ex-fiance.

"This has been like old times," Steven said, smiling as he drank the last of his coffee. "I can't tell you how much I've missed you, Toni."

"Please, Steven," she said, trying to stop him. "You promised not to bring up that subject."

"Okay." He quickly raised both hands in a concilia-tory gesture. "I'm sorry. I won't mention it again to-day. If you're ready, I'll take you home. I think I'll spend the rest of the afternoon touring some of the old homes."

As they approached Cartlaigne and its imposing fadade, Steven stared thoughtfully at the beautiful old place. "Does it make you sad that it's no longer in your family?"

"Heavens no!" Toni exclaimed. "The cottage is trouble enough without having the backbreaking job of maintaining the big house as well. No," she said firmly, "even though I want to see it remain in caring hands, I have no desire to be responsible for,it. Besides, this is the place I've always loved." She waved one hand toward the cottage. "To me this has always been the real Cartlaigne. I suppose that's because Aunt Sara was always there. Aunt Sara was Cartlaigne."

"Will you stay here?"

"For a while. After that . . . who knows?"

"Can I see you tomorrow morning?" Steven asked. "I'm afraid I have to get back to Richmond. But I will be returning to Natchez, Toni. Your aunt's death has been a shock to you and I don't want to press you. But I know there is a future for us. And after you've had time to think about it, so will you."

Rather than argue with him, an exercise she'd already found to be a waste of breath, she asked, "What time does your plane leave?"

"Eleven fifty-five."

"Until tomorrow then." Toni smiled and reached out to open the door.

But Steven wasn't to be put off so easily. He leaned over and cupped the back of her head, his other hand gripping her arm. "How about a kiss?" he murmured huskily.

And during that brief moment when Toni was staring at him as though he'd gone crazy, Steven lost no time in claiming her lips. It was the second time he'd tried to kiss her since his arrival in Natchez. And now, as with the first time, the only emotion he evoked in her was an overwhelming urgency to remove herself

from his touch.

She squirmed away from him and quickly got out of the car. Once she was safe, with the door securerely closed behind her, she gave Steven a weak smile, a brief wave of one hand, then turned and sought the security of the cottage.

When she entered the house and closed the door. she saw Mrs. D and Susie peering out the window at Steven's car as it disappeared down the driveway.

"I'm certainly glad Christian wasn't here to see that tender embrace," Susie teased, not the least perturbed at being caught spying on her cousin. Neither, for that matter, was the housekeeper.

"Is he paying the two of you to watch me?" Toni asked sweetly, the expression in her dark eyes belying: the friendly tone of her voice.

"Don't be so testy, Antonia." Susie chuckled. "Mrs. D and I have never been so nicely entertained. Though I must admit, being fairly certain of the outcome does make for more pleasant watching."

"Has anyone ever told you that you are a busybody, Susie?" Toni asked with a frown. She stared at each of her tormentors, then shrugged. "You're both terrible." "I think we've teased her enough, Susie." Mrs.D smiled, speaking for the first time. "Why don't I make a pot of coffee? We still have several boxes and two trunks left to go through."

The remainder of the afternoon was spent as the two previous ones had been, sorting and going through Sara's belongings. When they finished, Toni left the room rather hurriedly, her head throbbing from the sharp odor of mothballs.

"I hope I never smell that odor again," she said as she collapsed in a chair at the table in the kitchen.

"My sentiments exactly," Susie muttered as she reached for her jacket and purse.

"Don't you have time for a quick cup of coffee?" Mrs. D asked.

"I'd love it," Susie said, "but I have to fix dinner. The two of you can get by with a bowl of soup and a sandwich. I have to cook in order to fill the cavernous stomachs of my family."

"How sad," Toni replied in mock sympathy. "You know very well you could give Brent a plate of straw and he wouldn't complain."

"Perhaps." Her carefree cousin shrugged. "But every now and then I just love playing the poor overworked housewife."

When they were finally alone, the housekeeper and Toni enjoyed one of their long talks. Toni had always felt close to the older woman. For as long as she could remember, Mrs, D had been a part of Cartlaigne, her presence felt in every corner. She also loved the housekeeper because of her closeness with her aunt. Both women were adrift without Sara, each reaching out to the other to fill the void left by the old woman's death.

"I haven't asked, Mrs. D, but do you want to remain here?" Toni asked.

"Yes," the elderly woman said with a nod. "I've no family except for a sister. She has a son, and even though they are always glad to see me, I feel as though I'd be intruding in their lives. But what about you, Toni?

Are you going to leave an old woman to knock around all these empty rooms by herself or will you make this your home?"

"It gets more difficult each day to even think of leaving. So," she said, smiling at Mrs. D, "there probably be two of us knocking around. Although, for the life of me, I can't figure out what kind of job I can get in this town."

"Now, don't you fret." Mrs. D patted her hand consolingly. "With the money Sara left us, we have quite a while before we have to worry about starving."

Toni smiled, then looked thoughtfully at her friend "It's still hard for me to accept the idea of my aunt Sara wheeling and dealing in the stock market."

"Your aunt was born way before her time, honey I've often thought she'd have been able to run any large corporation as well or better than most men. She could even have gone into politics. A woman like Sara could have been governor or a congresswoman. She could charm the birds out of the trees when it suits her, or be hard as nails."

Later, as Toni showered to remove the mothball smell from her skin and hair, then dressed in a pair of emerald-green slacks and a matching sweater, sbe wondered if she had been wise to get Mrs. D's hopes up by saying she planned to stay in Natchez. For in all honesty, she wasn't sure what she wanted to do.

Since her affair with Christian had begun, there hadn't been room enough in her thoughts for unexciting things such as jobs and what she should do tc support herself. In spite of her determination not to make more of their relationship than there really was Toni found herself doing just that. It was so easy to sit and wonder what it would be like to have his children but it was also very easy to wonder how long he would be content to come home to the same woman. Hadn't he told her there'd always been an under

standing with the women he became involved with? No commitment, no ties, had been his motto.

Then why the various displays of jealousy he'd shown, first with the men Susie paraded beneath his nose, then his outright anger when Steven called? The actual arrival of her former fiance had turned that anger to cold, hard rage and had Christian watching her every step.

Did that sound like a man interested only in a brief affair? she wondered.

"But what about me?" she whispered. "I turned to Steven at a time in my life when I was most vulnerable. Is that what I'm doing with Christian? Am I unconsciously attempting to create, to manipulate innocently spoken words into what I want to hear and believe?"

What exactly do I want, she wondered. Have I finally accepted Susie's idea that real happiness can only be found in marriage? Do I care enough for Christian to marry him? Would he ever even ask me. She grimaced.

Oh, yes, she answered her own question. You care enough for him. You love him enough to follow him to hell and back.

"Maybe it's time for me to pick myself up and stop worrying and wondering about what Christian's going to do next," she said aloud. "Somehow the idea of sitting around waiting for a man to decide whether or not he wants me isn't very appealing. Besides," she said, grinning at her reflection in the mirror, "I just might decide I don't want Mr. Barr. I wonder what he'd do then."

"I hope you don't mind my holding back dinner for a few minutes, Toni," Mrs. D said with an excited in her voice as she scurried about the kitchen. "I vited Christian to eat with us and he should be here any minute now."