Forgotten Fears (24 page)

“I’m dying.  There’s no escape from it now.”

“Grandpa….”

“Don’t be sad, Boy. Frankly, I’m glad. I’m tired and in need of my rest.”

The boy frowned, chewing on his lip.

“Before I go, there is something that I need to tell you, something that nobody has ever been told before.”

The boy was intrigued and leaned forward in his seat, curious as to what could be so vital for the old man to share so close to his death.

“What do you mean? I- i don’t understand.”

The old man smiled, showing a mouth full of crooked, yellow teeth. “You will boy, you will.”

A flicker of fear ran through the boy’s body as the old man continued. “What do you know of vampires?”

The boy frowned. “just what ’I've seen on TV. Last year we read Dracula in literature class at school, other than that...not much. Sci-fi is more my thing, Grandpa.”

The boy was confused and wasn’t entirely sure if the old man even knew what he was talking about. He seemed lucid enough, however, his manner had changed completely. The boy realised that he was growing afraid of this withered old man, and wished at that moment for one of the nurses to come in, perhaps just to check on them, or to administer his Grandpa’s evening medication.

The old man smiled, just a curl of the lip, this time, and once again the boy couldn’t help but notice the change in his demeanour. The boy thought this was how a hungry lion might look at its prey before it eats it.

“Would you be surprised to know, Boy, that vampires are quite real? That in fact, they are an active part of our society?”

The boy laughed, trying to breaking the tension. “Come on, Grandpa, everybody knows that the vampire myth is based around the story of Vlad the Impaler. We wrote a paper on it last term.”

The old man smiled at the boy’s laughter, and yet there was no real amusement within it. If anything, the boy thought he saw a flash of anger.

“I'm glad that you’re amused, Boy. But ask yourself this. Can you really be sure it’s just a myth?”

“Grandpa, I’m not sure what you’re saying exactly.”

The old man nodded. “Oh, I think you do. I think you know exactly what I’m saying.” He replied, pointing a bony finger at the boy.

There was a shift in the atmosphere, a palpable energy which made the hairs on the back of the boys neck stand on end. “Grandpa, I’m worried, maybe I should get a nurse or something...” he made to stand, but the old man stilled him with a single glance.

“You, of course, don’t believe me. May I ask why?”

That flash of anger again, buried somewhere behind those ancient eyes.

“Because vampires don’t exist. They’re fiction.” He shrugged, wondering if the old man even knew what he was saying.

The old man smiled, leaning close and speaking in a whisper. “Because I am one of course,” He said, before leaning back on his pillow and awaiting the boy’s reaction. The boy started to laugh but cut it off almost immediately. The old man was looking straight at him, almost through him. The boy realised his grandfather was telling the truth.

“Have no fear Boy, it isn’t as you have been conditioned by your books and movies to believe. You are in no danger from me. ”

The boy struggled to suppress the jolt of terror that slammed through his body. The thing in the bed had transformed somehow, and although at a glance was the same, no longer resembled his grandfather. The boy thought he could see a flicker of crimson in those grey eyes, or perhaps it was a trick of the light.

“Forget all notions of our kind that you have read about in books. The reality is quite different. We do not drink blood, nor are we allergic to garlic, or afraid of crucifixes.” He said with absolute conviction.

“What about sunlight?” asked the boy, unable to suppress his curiosity.

“Harmless. We are no different to you in principal, except that we are immortal.” The old man’s conviction in the way that he confided in the boy was disturbing.

“I don’t understand. I mean, you’re so frail.... you said so yourself that you’re dying.” The boy said, trying to remain as calm as possible.

The old man nodded. “Yes and no.”

“The vampire is a creature of evolution.  We are a parasite if you will. We attach to a host and feed on that host until it is time to move on.” He said to the boy, that same humourless smile turning his lips into a dark line on his wrinkled face.  The old man sat up with some effort. He was now turned towards his Grandson, eyes watching the boy with hungry intensity. He licked his lips before continuing. “Sadly, unlike the movies that you watch or the books that you read, we have no regenerative abilities. Our hosts continue to age. They become diseased, they grow ill. We stay with them until such a time comes that we need to move on.  If we do not, if our host dies before we can move to another, we also die.” He shrugged.

The boy went pale, unable to speak. Despite common sense telling him that it was a fabricated fantasy of a dying old man, he believed him. He was utterly convinced that the old man, the same one that every year spent the Christmas holidays with them, the same man who taught the boy to ride his first push bike, the same man who had taught him how to fish when he was just ten years old, was exactly what he claimed to be. The old man seemed to be able to read the thoughts as they moved through the boys mind, and laughed dryly.

“Don’t be alarmed, I haven’t asked you here for any reason other than to tell the truth of what i am.  For centuries I have moved from body to body, drifting without purpose. I have seen enough of this world to know it holds no more that I wish to experience. It has become a cruel, cold place, even for my kind. I intend to die along with this body you see before you. Eventually, even immortality becomes a burden” said the old man with a tired sigh.

The boy nodded, convinced that his best chance to survive would be to play along until he could escape.

. “How old are you exactly?” he asked as he gauged the distance to the door. The old man watched him and smiled.

“You don’t need to run.  We are misunderstood. This body is eighty-seven. However my essence, the vampire itself...” the old man closed his eyes as he contemplated the answer. “I cannot recall. I remember as early as the fifteenth century, the time between then and now has been a hazy blur of friendships made and broken. Loved ones living and dying. The existence of our kind is a lonely one. Perhaps it is our curse, the price of our immortality. Yes, the time has come to rest. “He said with a sigh.

The boy licked his lips, choosing his next words carefully. “I have a question...”

The old man smiled, for now back in the guise of the boy’s grandfather. “By all means ask. Your curiosity is the reason I chose you to tell of this,” said the old man, folding his hands across his chest.

“What if I don’t believe a word of this?” he said, forcing himself to look the old man in the eye.

“What if this is just words, a sick joke?”

The old man nodded, considering the question.

“Knowledge can be a burden, especially if carried around for as many years as I have. I’m tired boy. Your grandfather’s body has been good to me. I have spent time with a good family of good people who have made me long for my own who are now but dust. A vague memory at best which itself has started to fade.”

The boy was surprised to see a tear roll down the old man’s cheek. “You’re crying”.

The old man nodded “as I said, do not believe everything you think you know about our kind.”

The boy licked his lips “when did you....”

“Inhabit your grandfather’s body?

The boy nodded.

“It was many years ago, he was nineteen and serving in the army. I was attempting even then to end this cursed life. It was world war two, the city of Dresden in Germany was in ruins after the bombing raids of the allied forces.”

The old man had a faraway look in his eye now as he recounted the story to the boy

“The air still smelled of fire and blood. It was as close to hell on earth as you could ever expect to experience. I had been inhabiting the body of a German tailor when the war broke out. I was enlisted along with every other able-bodied man and had seen enough to know that humanity was on a downward slide to which there was no escape. I had seen wars in the past, of course, but those were for a reason. For power, to liberate a country. Not this one. Hitler was an evil, evil man, and because I was enlisted, there was no way for the parasite to escape whilst the body it was in was useable. That is the rule that has stood for centuries. The decision to end my existence was an easy one. I had fashioned my noose and with some effort attached it to one of the remaining rafters of a building already half destroyed by the bombing. The noose was around my neck, and I was looking forward to being freed from my curse. Your father and his squad entered the building as I jumped. Even as the noose pulled taught, I tried to warn him, tried to tell him to leave me be.”

Another tear rolled down the old man’s cheek as he closed his eyes and continued

“He was a brave man, and without thinking scrambled up to cut me down despite me being the enemy. This thing inside me recognised that the body it was in was already broken and no longer of any use. Even as I felt the numb bliss of death, it jumped to your grandfather who was trying in vain to revive the empty vessel of flesh and bone. Just like that, death was taken from me and the curse of life further given for me to endure.” He shook his head slowly “if only he would have left me be, I would have found my peace.”

The boy had forgotten his fear and was now engrossed in the conversation

“Did you try again? I mean if you were that determined....”

“It’s difficult to explain. The parasite once attached to a new host enjoys a certain period of euphoria. The feeling is unlike anything that you could ever imagine. Power, excitement, the sheer thrill of experiencing life in a new body. More powerful, more intoxicating than any drug. For a time, it is easy to forget that you long for death, and this for a vampire is a dangerous time. We are reckless and impulsive during this period.  The human body, of course, tries to fight the invasion of the unwanted parasite, and a battle of wills between vampire and the host. Of course, the vampire always wins eventually, but the process can take several years in some cases. By then, of course, the entire process begins again. Day by day, week by week, year by year the vampire sinks its barbs deeper and deeper into the host. Eventually, all that remains is vampire, and the host is no more than a shell to keep us alive.”

“So my grandfather... is dead?” asked the boy.

“No. Your grandfather and I are entwined into one. Even as you and I speak, he fights. But on our death, we both agree.  We are both tired of this frail existence. You need to stay here and make sure that when the time comes nobody disturbs us.  You have to help me, your grandfather the vampire.

“You’re using me?” the boys cheeks flushed with anger. “What if I don’t believe a word of this, what if it’s the ramblings of a crazy old man if – “

The old man moved with inhuman speed. Before the boy could react the old man had a hold of his wrist and was pulling him closer. He tried to squirm free, but the old man’s grip was like iron. Their faces were only a few inches apart, and the boy could smell the tobacco laced breath of the old man who whispered now in a low voice. Their eyes were locked, the boy now unable to dismiss the red flecks in the old man’s eyes as a trick of the light.

“You don’t understand, you….”  The old man released his grip, convulsing back onto the bed and clutching at his chest as an alarm began to sound.  The boy tumbled to the floor, before quickly getting to his feet and watching. The old man had begun to drool as he thrashed wildly within the covers, one pale leg kicking out into the air. The boy waited to see what would happen, as two nurses hurried into the room.

“Don’t touch him!” yelled the boy as he was pushed aside.

The nurses worked on the old man, opening his pyjama top and began compressions on his chest. The two nurses worked for almost ten minutes, then ceased their efforts, before turning off the alarm.

The room was silent as the boy looked on.  The old man was dead.

One of the nurses, a heavy set woman with black hair pulled back into a tight bun looked over to the boy, who was still staring at the figure on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” she said to him. “He’s gone”

The boy nodded, before walking slowly towards the open door.

“Excuse me, young man,” the nurse called after him. “Do you want me to call anyone, family or –“

She stopped mid-sentence. The boy was looking at her over his shoulder, a wry smile on his face. She thought it was the kind of smile that a hungry lion might give to its prey just before he ate it. It must have been a trick of the light, as she was sure that she saw a brief flicker of crimson in his blue eyes.

“No need for that.” The boy said to her. His eyes drifting towards the old man on the bed. “After all, life goes on doesn’t it?” without waiting for a response from the nurse he turned and quietly left, closing the door gently behind him.

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