Forgotten Sea (22 page)

“We don’t know that they did not,” Conn said. “I have never stopped searching.”

“I never stopped hoping.” Lucy reached out and squeezed Iestyn’s forearm. His right arm, the one she’d healed seven years and a lifetime ago, after he stood with her against the demons. “For seven years, I’ve asked myself if I could have made another choice that would have saved Sanctuary. What happened to you was my fault.”

Silence descended on the hill above the sea.

 “You must not blame yourself,” Conn said. “I have never blamed you. It was my decision to send the younger ones away.”

Iestyn cleared his throat. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said to Lucy. He turned to the prince. “Or yours. It was our decision to turn back. My choice. My responsibility.”

What had Lara said?
“Sometimes things happen as part
of a larger plan, and we just can’t see it yet.”

“None of us figured the ship would go down. Nobody could have predicted I’d turn up now, after all this time. Maybe it was an accident. Or luck.” He shrugged. “Or maybe it was something else.”

“Destiny,” Conn said.

He met the sea lord’s eyes. “Maybe.”

Lucy smiled. “And here you are, safe and back with us again.”

Back among his own kind, she meant. Back where he belonged.

Iestyn smiled, but a vague dissatisfaction still gnawed his gut.

“The question is, where will you go now?” Conn said.

He had no idea. His lack of direction had never bothered him before.
We flow as the sea flows. 
But something was missing. Something was wrong.

Lucy tipped her head. “Won’t you come with us? To Sanctuary.”

Iestyn pictured the green hills and round towers, the magic island set like a jewel between the swaying kelp forests and swirling sky. The work of rebuilding was done, Lucy had told him earlier. Everything was as it had been.

He could go home again. He waited for the rush of relief, the sense of homecoming.

And was surprised to hear himself say, “No.”

“Ah,” Conn said.

The wind whispered from the sea, stirring Lucy’s hair.

“It’s the girl, isn’t it?” she said. “Lara.”

Iestyn ducked his head, feeling about fifteen again. Lucy had been his first love or at least his first serious crush. He suspected she knew it. He was sure Conn did. How could he tell  them he was reconsidering his future based on his feelings for a girl he’d known less than a week?

“She saved my life,” he said.

“She also put you in danger,” Lucy said.

“Not deliberately.”

“We have never allied with the children of air,” Morgan said.

The finfolk lord strolled from the cover of trees like a shark emerging from the shadow of the rocks. His hair gleamed pale in the sunlight.

My great-uncle
, Iestyn thought, Lara’s words fresh in his mind. He could see the resemblance, a trick of coloring, a similarity in build. But he didn’t feel the connection.

“Because we were neutral in Hell’s war on Heaven and humankind,” Conn said.

“Aren’t we neutral now?” Iestyn asked.

“Alliances change,” Morgan said. “The demons no longer disguise their enmity. Your affinity with this girl now could tip things in our favor.”

Conn raised his eyebrows. “Another shift in the balance of power?” he inquired softly.

Morgan met his gaze. “Why not? I liked the look of that heth. We could use something like that.”

The undercurrents of the conversation sucked at Iestyn, leaving him edgy and off balance. “Lara didn’t make the heth,” he said. “But she understands how it was made. How it works.”

Morgan directed another look at Conn. “It would be interesting to learn what else she knows. What else she can do.”

Iestyn gritted his teeth. Lara had run with him rather than let him be used by the nephilim. “Forget it. I won’t let you use her.”

They all regarded him with varying degrees of affront or surprise.

“The pup has grown teeth,” Morgan murmured.

“Your concern for the girl does you credit,” Conn said. “But her appearance now has implications for us all. We’d be fools not to take advantage of her knowledge.”

“Only if she agrees,” Iestyn said. “If she stays.”

The thought that she might not stay struck at his heart.

“Why wouldn’t she stay?” Morgan asked. “She’s obviously in love with you.”

Was she? Iestyn’s throat tightened. He gulped his beer. Was love enough to make her stay?

“Unless you don’t love her,” Conn said, watching him closely.

Iestyn stared morosely at the bottle in his hand. “She’ll never believe it. Not now. Not if she thinks I’m using her.”

“But you’ve told her how you feel,” Lucy said.

“No.”

No promises. No guarantees.

Conn raised his eyebrows. “Then you should.”

Iestyn’s jaw set stubbornly. Lara had told him straight out that she was tired of other people telling her how to live her life. “She ought to be able to decide what she wants for herself.”

“And how can she do that if she doesn’t know that you love her?” Lucy asked.

“She should understand her options,” Conn said.

 “She deserves the words,” Morgan said. He glanced toward the picnic table, where his wife Elizabeth chatted with Margred Hunter. “Women need words.”

Iestyn’s chest felt tight. Lara had been so careful not to ask him for promises. But he could make them, because the words mattered. Because she mattered. He wanted her. He trusted her. But he hadn’t trusted his feelings until now.

He regarded the three under the trees, his prince, his friend, his only living blood relative.

“I need to talk to her.”

“She’s gone,” Morgan said.

Iestyn’s blood drummed in his ears. “What?”

“Dylan saw her headed back to the inn. I came to tell  you.”

Conn’s gaze narrowed. “Problem?”

Uneasiness gripped Iestyn. That sense of something off, something wrong, swept over him.

“I don’t know. I have to find her.”

* * *

Lucy watched Iestyn stride down the hill with the quick impatience of the boy she once knew. But he wasn’t a boy any longer.

She sighed, remembering. Iestyn had been her first friend on Sanctuary, a gawky adolescent with a kind heart and a flashing smile. Seeing him all grown up made her feel . . .old.

She listened to the ocean’s long-drawn-out lament, the cries of the seabirds drifting over the water like the voices of lost children.

“You are disappointed,” Conn said quietly.

She turned her head to find him watching her, his silver eyes impenetrable.

 She didn’t understand. “Disappointed?”

“That he is not returning with us to Sanctuary.”

She shook her head. “No.” She roused herself to give a better answer. Conn was forcing himself out of his customary reserve to communicate. To talk about her
feelings
, poor man. He was trying. They both were.

“I was just thinking how much he’s changed. Iestyn.”

“He is older.”

She attempted a smile. “Aren’t we all.”

“Not you.”

The magic of Sanctuary kept her from aging. In physical years, she was probably younger than Iestyn now.

Her throat tightened. “I feel about a hundred.”

“You are as fresh and young as spring,” Conn said. “And more beautiful than the day I met you.”

“Oh.” He took her breath away. Tears welled in her eyes. “You don’t have to say that.”

“Women need words, Morgan tells me. And it gives me pleasure to say them.”

He knelt before her on the grass.

“Conn.” She was shaken. Embarrassed. He was a proud man. Prince of the merfolk, lord of the sea. And at any moment, anyone could look over and see him kneeling at her feet. “What are you doing?”

“Something I should have done long ago.” He took her hands. Her fingers trembled in his strong clasp. “Lucy, my love. My heart. Will you marry me?”

The earth whirled and settled around them. She swallowed the ache in her heart, the lump in her throat. One of them had to be practical. They had duties. Obligations.

“What if I can never give you children? You need an heir.”

“I need you. I will always need you.” He looked up at her, his silver eyes blazing. “Recommit to me, Lucy. Here, in a church, in the sight of God, according to the custom of your people. Take me as your husband. Will you?”

Her tears washed her grief away. She forgot pride and obligation, forgot whoever might be watching. All she could see was Conn’s eyes, Conn’s face, full of heat and love and tenderness.

She felt an overwhelming rush of love for him.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, please, I will.”

He rose to his feet and pulled her into his arms, kissing her fiercely. The sun sank to the surface of the sea, trailing banners of scarlet and gold.

* * *

A fist closed in Lara’s chest. She didn’t trust Zayin, not for a moment. But she couldn’t bring herself to believe that the Master Guardian would actually hurt her.

She edged backward toward the door, feeling with her foot for the threshold, keeping her eyes on him.

“Please.” Zayin sounded more derisive than angry. “Don’t put me to the trouble of coming after you.”

Again.
The unspoken word echoed between them.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“We’ve been worried about you,” Zayin said. “Simon in particular.”

“I’m fine. You can tell  him so.”

“Tel him yourself. Come home with me.”

Home. A vision of Rockhaven rose in her mind, glossy and sharp as a photograph, the strong, stone walls, the jewel like windows, everything she’d once loved, everything that was permanent and safe.

She shook her head without speaking.

“Frankly, I’m relieved to find you alive,” Zayin said. “This room stinks of demon. Demon and fish.”

Shocked, she met his gaze.

“You do know he’s possessed,” Zayin said. “Aqua Boy.”

Lara sucked in her breath. “You
knew
?”

“I knew he was a danger to you.”

“Not anymore. Iestyn cast the demon out.”

Zayin stared at her, arrested. “He did.”

“We did.” The memory of it straightened her spine. “Together.”

“Well,” Zayin leaned back in the chair, his big body deliberately relaxed. “It appears we underestimated you.”

“So you see . . .” She exhaled. “You don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

“Possibly. But then you have an obligation to protect others
. Scire, servare, obtemperare
.” His smile was dark and joyless. “The only way to regain the perfection of Heaven is through the Rule.”

“Do you really believe that?”

Black eyes flickered. “Simon does. And you are Simon’s disciple, are you not?”

Her chest felt tight. She didn’t know what she was anymore.

What she believed. “I can’t go back to the way things were.”

“No one would expect it. You’ve changed,” Zayin said, with an assessing look. “Other things can change. If you came back of your own volition, Simon would welcome you with an open heart and open arms. We need you, Lara. What you have learned, you can teach to others.”

His words tore at her soul. More than physical safety, she craved emotional security. Simon’s praise and approval, a valued place at Rockhaven, were all she’d ever wanted.

The burden of freedom, the weight of fear, pressed on her heart. Her lips felt numb. She heard herself say, “What about Iestyn?”

 “What of him?”

“I can’t just leave him.”

Zayin glanced around the empty room. “And yet he is not here.”

A flush heated her face. “He’ll be back.”

“For how long?” Zayin asked.

She stared at him, stricken, seeing Iestyn’s face, alight with joy. Hearing Iestyn’s voice, bright with hope.
“With
her help,
I can learn to Change . . . I can go back to sea
again.”

Zayin pressed his advantage. “Let it go, Lara. Let him go. He’s free to be with his own people now. And you can be safe with yours.”

“So you’re asking me to trade a chance at happiness for . . . What? Security?”

“I’m telling you. Give up your infatuation with this boy for a guaranteed future.”

But there were no guarantees outside of Heaven. Iestyn had said that. The only thing certain was change.

Lara gnawed the inside of her cheek. She
had
changed. She was more confident now, more sure of herself and what she wanted. She didn’t need to look to Simon for approval anymore or to the nephilim for safety and acceptance. She had to trust herself. She trusted Iestyn. She wanted him, wanted what they could be together.

Zayin stood, big and dark and alien in the charming white room. Despite herself, Lara’s heart gave a little bump.

“We’ve both wasted enough time here,” he said. “I’m taking you back.”

“No, you’re not,” Iestyn said.

Lara’s head jerked around to the door. “Iestyn.”

“Hey, babe.” He smiled, but his eyes were cold. “We missed you at the party. You should have stuck around.”

Her eyes blurred. Her heart pounded. But a combination of pride and hurt and honesty held her back. Made her say,

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me.”

He winced. “I guess I deserve that. Stay. Let me make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to—”

“You’re too late,” Zayin interrupted. “She’s leaving.”

“Not with you, asshole.”

“You can’t stop her.” Zayin looked Iestyn up and down. “And you definitely can’t stop me.”

Iestyn bared his teeth in a grin. “I’ve killed demons, church breath. Angels don’t scare me.”

Violence boiled up in the room, quick and hot as steam.

“Stop it, both of you.” Lara stepped between them, facing Zayin. “What I do and where I go is my choice.”

“Not after I get through with him,” Zayin promised darkly.

“But then you’d have to go through us,” a male voice announced from behind them.

Zayin’s black gaze switched over Lara’s shoulder. “Who the hell are you?”

Bewildered, she turned.

Morgan and Dylan stood shoulder to shoulder in the doorway backing Iestyn. They could hardly have appeared more different, she thought dazedly: Dylan, dark and lean, Morgan, broad and fair, Iestyn with his sun-streaked hair and hammered gold eyes. But at that moment, they were as close as brothers, united in her defense.