Forsaken (7 page)

It
wasn't the rage that I was used to feeling. Instead of being angry,
my beast was more frantic, like he was desperate to get out so he
could look for her. There was a tiredness to his efforts though. It
shouldn't have been so hard to retain control, but I was exhausted,
too. Not physically, at least not so much. It was more a mental and
emotional weariness that was making it hard to retain my normal
shape.

I
remained curled up on the floor for several minutes, but Donovan's
call provided the distraction I needed. I forced myself back upright
and answered my cell phone.

"What
is it, Donovan?"

I
knew I was being rude. Donovan had just pulled me out of a near
breakdown, and even if he hadn't saved me he still would have
deserved better than that. It was becoming a recurring theme. I was
picking the more self-destructive option far too often lately. I knew
I needed to pull it together, but I couldn't seem to quite bring
myself to do so.

"Master
Alec, I'm sorry to disturb you, but I thought that you'd want to know
that Ash has stabilized."

Donovan
might as well have slapped me. He was right to call. Part of the reason
I'd fled the house after the challenge match was how close I'd come
to getting Ash killed, but as soon as I'd arrived at Adri's house I'd
forgotten about him as if he'd never existed.

"Thank
you, Donovan. I'm glad to know that he'll be okay."

There
was a lot more that could have been said. This fight had been
particularly brutal. Jasmin hadn't been up to a repeat yet. She was
walking around under her own power, but it would still be at least a
couple of days before she'd be able to jump back in the ring against
a hybrid. Actually, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed
like she was healing more slowly than I would have expected.

With
Jasmin out and Isaac in New York, the rotation had been Ash, James
and then me. I could have thrown Dominic or Jess into the mix, but I
figured that neither James nor Isaac would appreciate having their
girlfriends put in danger like that. Not when neither of the girls
was likely to be able to do more damage than Ash.

Nothing
in challenge law specifically forbade weapons, but that was more
because a wolf couldn't possibly use any kind of weapon while shifted
rather than because anyone thought that weapons were an acceptable
route to go down.

Ash
defied convention with his fighting style, just like he did with so
many other things. He'd pulled his handgun out and gotten three shots
off almost before our latest challenger even realized the fight had
started. All three shots had landed. They were good, center-of-mass hits,
but even a normal hybrid had a level of redundancy to his internal
systems that made it hard to bring them down. Before Ash could get a
fourth shot off, the hybrid had crossed the distance between them and
opened up the entire left side of his chest.

The
only thing that saved Ash was the fact that James didn't hesitate
even slightly. James hit the challenger only a split second after Ash
went down and made it around behind him for a kill shot less than a
minute into the fight. James had still taken a respectable amount of
damage, but it meant that I hadn't had to get involved, and that
should buy us the tiniest bit of breathing room. The next challenger
would assume that he'd have to face Jasmin, at least, and maybe James
or Isaac as well, before he'd have his shot at me.

It
sounded good on paper, but I already knew that I was grasping at
straws. The deluge of challengers had only just started and there
were hybrids out there who could take James apart in seconds. They
were waiting still, letting others of the dispossessed feel us out,
but it was only a matter of time. I could order Isaac back and it
would help a little, but the fact of the matter was that we were too
small of a pack to survive for very long now that we didn't have the
deterrent of Brandon's pack. Nobody wanted to take over
a pack that was a heartbeat away from being destroyed by another
pack, but now that wasn't a worry anymore.

There
were smaller packs that weren't being cased out by the dispossessed,
but each of them had an alpha who was really, really scary, and that
was the crux of our problem. Without a power that I could call at
will, we were just so much lovely bait. More likely than not, the
only reason we hadn't seen more challengers so far was the fact that
we'd held off Agony and his lot as well as we had. Everyone was still
worried that we were going to produce some kind of secret weapon and
nobody particularly wanted to be its next victim. That kind of
deterrent only worked for so long before people decided you
weren't
using it because you
couldn't
use it.

Donovan
had waited while I followed my thoughts to their logical conclusion,
but the silence had stretched out long enough that it was obvious to
me that he had something else he wanted to say.

"What
is it, Donovan? I've known you long enough now to be able to tell
when you have something to tell me that you don't think I'm going to
like hearing."

"It's
more of an observation, or maybe a series of observations and a
question."

"Out
with it, please. You're usually right when you get to the point that
you think I need to hear one or more of your observations."

"You
haven't painted in weeks. Not since right after Agony and his men
left."

"I'm
in my studio nearly every day, Donovan."

Donovan
cleared his throat, but he didn't let his reluctance stop him from
calling my bluff. "If I may, sir, sitting in your studio is not
the same thing as painting. It is important for you to continue to
nurture your talents. Even in our current circumstances it is unwise
to let the violent aspects of our nature consume too much of your
time and attention. Without balance you risk becoming no better than
one of the Coun'hij murderers."

It
was an unusually strong nudge from Donovan, but more importantly, it
wasn't fair. I hadn't done any of the kinds of things that Abaddon or
Marco would have done in my situation. Either of them would probably
have killed at least one of the girls already as a way of trying to
bring James and Isaac to heel. I knew that Donovan was trying to
help, or failing that just as scared as the rest of the pack, but I
could still feel my beast surge to the fore of my being as my fist
clenched.

"You
said you had more than one observation."

"Indeed.
I'm sure it is no surprise when I tell you that we can't continue on
the course we're currently on, not for long, not without suffering
consequences that none in the pack really want to deal with."

It
was all I could do to keep my voice even. Donovan had been like a
father to me, and he deserved a certain level of respect, but I was
having a harder and harder time lately according him his due.

"I'm
aware of that, Donovan."

"Indeed,
Master Alec. The question is what you're going to do about it."

"I
don't have any answers right now, Donovan. I can't see a way out of
what is coming towards us."

"I
know I'm exceeding my station, Master Alec, but with all due respect,
you're the Kir'shan of the pack. You can't just passively wait for
someone to hand you a solution. You need to come up with an answer
and fast. That's not a responsibility you can shirk for much longer."

"Be
careful, Donovan. Mallory has already pushed me too far. Don't you
pile on, too."

I
hung up on Donovan before I could say something that really couldn't
be taken back and then looked up to find that I'd put my fist through
the wall. I didn't remember doing so, but there was no arguing with
the results of my rage.

Donovan
wasn't being fair, but that didn't mean there wasn't a kernel of
truth to what he'd just said. I'd been avoiding the call that I knew
I had to make next, but avoiding it wasn't going to make things any
easier.

I
took a couple of calming breaths and dialed the number that I'd
started seeing in my dreams.

"Bishop
residence, this is Shawn."

"Hi,
Shawn. It's Alec."

The
pause between my greeting and his response wasn't promising, but I
waited him out.

"Hey,
Alec. It's been a while. I thought maybe I'd get a call from you
after everything that went down with Agony, but you seem to be
playing your cards even more close to your chest than normal."

"Yeah,
I probably should have given you a call. Agony's visit was even worse
than I'd expected it to be. Right after he left...something else
happened that threw me for a loop. I guess I haven't been
myself lately."

Calling
another pack, even when I wasn't talking to the alpha, was always a
bit of a verbal sparring match. Shawn was a good sort, but the formal
communication between packs these days was so intermittent that
everyone was reluctant to give up too much information. The Coun'hij
tended to find ways to make all kinds of tidbits come back to bite
people later on.

"So
what really happened when Agony visited? I've heard the rumors, just
like everyone else. Agony's men came back looking like they'd been
through a meat grinder, but you lost some people. That's not how I
expected things to go down. I expected that either you'd unleash
whatever you used to take Brandon down or Agony would pretty
much wipe out your entire pack."

That
was the rub. If I was going to be able to recruit Shawn's help then I
was going to have to come clean and risk the information getting out
sooner rather than later.

"The
rumors are right; I manifested a power when I faced off against
Brandon. Not before the challenge, literally in the middle of the
fight. It was some kind of vortex. I pulled energy out of both packs
and essentially leveled everyone there."

Shawn
let out a low whistle. "That's a big deal, Alec. Agony and
Oblivion both have to touch someone to use their powers on them. This
puts you in a class above them. You'd be up there nearly with
Puppeteer."

"Maybe
not quite as high up there as you think. All of that power leveled
me, too. The only thing that saved me was the fact that I was the
first one to my feet afterwards."

"Is
that why you didn't use it to take Agony and the rest down?"

I
couldn't go back from here, but I needed Shawn's help. The pack
couldn't continue on like it was.

"No,
I didn't use it because, so far, it isn't something that comes when I
call it. Donovan thinks I just need more time for it to finish
developing."

I
could almost hear the cogs spinning inside Shawn's mind.

"You
don't have much time left, Alec. Only losing three people when Agony
came calling is probably holding some of the dispossessed back from
challenging, but you guys didn't make a very good showing on the
first guy who came through."

"I
know. Agony's visit did a real number on us. I've got people who are
one step away from cutting and running right now and it's all I can
do to hold things together."

"That's
not a good situation for you guys to be in, not with everything else
going on. The dispossessed are going to be lining up to take a shot
at you. How many challenges have you had so far? Two? Three?"

"Two
so far, but you're right; they are just going to come faster and
faster. Best-case scenario right now is that they'll wear us down.
Worst-case scenario is that somebody really nasty comes through and
rips through us sooner rather than later."

Shawn
sighed. "That about sums it up, but it doesn't explain why
you're calling me."

"We
need help. You guys have the largest pack in North America right now.
If you could loan me a couple of hybrids and a few wolves to help
even things out as far as the power structure inside of our pack, it
should go a long way towards deterring some of the challengers. I
just need more time to get my power to finish manifesting."

Another
pause, this one long enough that I started to get uncomfortable.
Shawn literally had the fate of my friends in his hands.

"If
my dad agreed to your request it would be tantamount to declaring
that our two packs were allied against all comers."

"I
know."

"Then
you know that the only reason the Coun'hij has allowed us to get so
big is that Dad has remained steadfastly apolitical ever since the
dustup between them and your dad. If Dad throws his weight behind
you, we'll have Agony here inside of a week, and he'll bring every
spare enforcer they've got. At best we'll have a repeat of what you
just went through, but on a larger scale. At worst we'll have a
repeat of what they did to your dad."

I'd
known what Shawn's answer would be. That was part of why I'd waited
so long to make the call, but I had to ask. If we didn't get some
kind of help, we weren't going to make it very much longer.

"I
just need time, Shawn. If my power finishes manifesting we have a
very real chance of breaking the Coun'hij once and for all."

The
call quality was good enough for me to hear Shawn pacing. He'd
started about the time I'd brought up my power, but as he stopped
moving around, I knew he'd made his decision.

"I'm
sorry, Alec, but me sending down some of our people will just get a
lot of people I care about killed and it won't buy you the kind
of time you need. It would be like throwing a bucket full of ice into
hell."

I
felt my beast surge up nearly to the surface, felt my vocal cords
lengthening slightly, but I stopped the transformation before it
could go any further.

"You
can't know that, Shawn. A few days might make the difference."

"I'm
sorry, but I do know it, Alec. I know that sounds crazy to you, but
it's the truth. Even if you're right and your power isn't as
developed as it's going to get, even if it comes whenever you call
for it, you're still not going to be a match for the Coun'hij, not
with Puppeteer in the mix. You'd need something else, someone else
that could offset the army he'll bring to the table."