Forty-Four Box Set, Books 1-10 (44) (20 page)

“Yes, well, there is actually some news about him, in a way,” Dr. Mortimer said. He cleared his throat and took a sip of his espresso. “I’ve found out a few things. First of all, Nathaniel is out of the country and has been for many months. Maybe even a year. I wanted to tell you two so you can stop worrying. He’s in Africa.”

“Africa?” Kate asked.

“We don’t know where exactly yet. But we’re very close to finding him. I’ve hired a top detective firm and they’re confident they’ll have his exact location soon.”

Kate nodded and then sighed.

Dr. Mortimer looked at me, then back at Kate, his face flattening a little.

“We’ve traced him to Doctors Without Borders.”

“Really?” she said, coming back to life a bit.

“What’s that?” I said.

“It’s a group of doctors and nurses who go to Third World countries to provide much-needed medical care,” Dr. Mortimer said. “And the agency thinks that he’s joined them.”

He finished his coffee and waited for a reaction, but Kate said nothing. She was probably disappointed, wanting instead to hear that Nathaniel had been caught somewhere in Boston and was going to jail. Or something like that.

The silence steeped like a teabag. No one said anything, even though it was growing uncomfortable.

“Well, at least he’s far away,” I said, finally.

“Ben, that doesn’t sound like your brother,” Kate said. “I mean, helping people and actually practicing medicine.”

Dr. Mortimer nodded.

“I can see what you’re saying. But before he lost his mind, he really was a very good doctor. Maybe he’s gone back to that and stopped doing his research.”

She gave him a sarcastic look.

“But what matters is that we’re close to finding him and it shouldn’t be too long,” he said. “Look, I know I should have done more back when I found out about him. But I’m determined to make this right now.”

Kate glanced over at me.

“I’ll find him. I won’t let you down. Not again. I promise.”

She nodded, the lights from the restaurant casting shadows on her face.

“But then what, Ben?” she asked. “It’s a nice gesture and all, but there were no charges filed against him. He got away clean. So what happens after you find him?”

Dr. Mortimer rubbed his face.

“I don’t know yet,” he said. “But somehow I’ll find a way to bring him to justice.”

The wind blew into us and the umbrella tilted, looking like it was almost going to fall before regaining its balance.

“As long as you’re seriously looking for him, don’t forget about Abby. Maybe she could help you out,” Kate said.

My heart raced. I wasn’t expecting that and Dr. Mortimer looked at me with a strange expression on his face.

“What does she mean?” he asked, staring at me.

“Those dreams. The visions of your brother that she used to get. Remember?”

He looked both concerned and annoyed, like he didn’t want to think about all that again.

“Have you had any more of those?” he asked, turning toward me.

“No,” I said, just above a whisper.

“I’m just saying that Abby should be part of this,” Kate said. “And that you need to know if she has another vision. They were real, Ben. I was there. For better or worse, she seems to have a connection to him in that way. She can help you.”

I didn’t know why Kate was saying all this. I hadn’t had one vision since Nathaniel had left town last year. Dr. Mortimer sat back in his chair, darker energy above him.

“Okay,” he said. “Abby, have you had any dreams or feelings at all about him lately?”

I could tell he still wasn’t sure about any of it, but unlike Kate, I didn’t take it personally. Dr. Mortimer was a man of medicine, a scientist. I knew he wasn’t too interested in all the psychic stuff I went through. But it didn’t matter to me. He had saved my life.

“No, nothing,” I said.

“We’re all on the same page here,” he said. “I do want to hear about anything you think is important regarding Nathaniel because everything will help. I want us all to work together.”

Kate inhaled, but then smiled. It was a real smile for the first time that night.

“Good. I’m glad you realize that it’s not silly to use Abby to help catch him.”

Dr. Mortimer stared out at the sunset while Kate drank her espresso.

“So how’s that new boyfriend of yours?” he asked. 

Kate looked flustered for a moment. She put down her cup and paused, struggling to find the right words.

“Oh, you mean Colin?” she said, trying to sound casual. “He’s good.”

I could tell that she was wondering how he knew about Colin as her eyes rested on mine for a moment.

“You’d like him,” she added.

Dr. Mortimer smiled.

“Good. Good for you.”

I figured he just wanted back into our lives, one way or another. And maybe by accepting that Kate had moved on, we could all be friends again.

I waited for her to ask if he was seeing anyone, but she didn’t.

Kate’s phone buzzed and she stood up and answered it, walking over to the grass as she talked. Dr. Mortimer asked the waitress for the check and handed her his credit card.

“Thanks,” I said. “Dinner was great.”

“My pleasure. I hope we can do this again. More often, I mean.”

He stood up and stretched.

“I promise you,” he said. “I’ll find him. And he’ll be held accountable for all the terrible things he’s done, regardless of the police department’s theory.” I could see the hurt in his eyes, the betrayal he felt. Embarrassment, too. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

I nodded.

Kate finished her conversation and joined us again as he signed for the bill. I saw those crazy bands of white energy shooting out around both of them. I gave them a moment and walked over to the edge of the river, looking for Jesse. It was an old habit.

I didn’t know why, but it seemed like he should have been here with us. A sharp sadness jolted through me. I wiped a tear that had slipped down my cheek, put on my sunglasses, and turned back toward Kate and Dr. Mortimer.

“Maybe we could do this again before the summer is over?” he said.

“Yeah, maybe so,” she said.

I gave Dr. Mortimer a hug goodbye.

I didn’t know what my story was. I started the dinner happy and somehow I ended up sad.

I loved Jesse more than ever. I loved him across life and death and the murkiness between our worlds. I knew that we belonged together.

But I wasn’t sure if I would ever see him again.

CHAPTER 9

I was always a little lost on Saturdays. I never worked on the weekends and there was no soccer either. Kate was usually out at the newspaper or with Colin, and the house was quiet and empty.

I decided to start running in the park where Jesse and I used to hang out. I didn’t want it to make me sad or anything, but I figured I could work on my speed and look for him at the same time.

It was a nice afternoon and not too crowded. The running path I was on looped around the park before disappearing into the forest and coming back out at the swings. It was half a mile and I planned on starting with four laps.

I had put together a good running playlist on my iPod and turned up the volume. Wolfmother pulsated through my ears as I picked up speed. I ran past some kids, past the “fitness boot camp” group that was working out with weights on the grass, past the dogs playing in their gated area. I glanced over at the empty basketball court.

I flashed back to when Jesse and I went to a Portland Trail Blazers game with his dad. We were just kids then and had nosebleed seats and ate too many hot dogs. But it was fun and Jesse talked about it for weeks after.

“You’ll be coming to all my games, right?”

I laughed. We were still in elementary school and he had just started playing basketball in the afterschool sports program. He was kind of short back then, too.

“Come on, Abby. I’m talking about when I sign my contract. Of course, I’ll be on the Spurs so you’ll have to move to San Antonio. But I’ll buy you some cowboy boots if you come along with me.”

I smiled.

“I’ll need a swimming pool too,” I said.

“Deal,” he said.

It felt good to be able to run. Sometimes it was hard to believe that a little more than a year ago I had trouble just walking to the Jeep. There were so many days that I was sure that I would never be able to run or play soccer again.

And now I was doing both.

I started thinking about my plans for September, when the river guide job was done. Kate said I could probably work part-time over at the newspaper on the features desk as an assistant. She had a friend who was the editor of that section and had offered me a position if I wanted it. I would be in charge of the calendar section, checking dates of events and making sure everything was correct. It would be a tedious desk job, but I felt I could do it if it came down to it.

Ty and a few others taught skiing and asked if that was something I would be interested in. But I knew I wasn’t ready for the slopes yet. My balance wasn’t there, I could tell. I really liked their lifestyle though, going from one fun job to another depending on the season.

I thought about the guides and how much they were always smiling. They really loved what they did. They were outdoors and interacting with people and even though they didn’t make much money, they were the happiest people I’d ever been around.

That’s what I wanted. I wanted to find that. Something I loved doing so it didn’t even feel like I was working. I was pretty sure that the newspaper job wasn’t going to be like that.

I didn’t really know what I liked to do. I liked soccer and running and river rafting, but I couldn’t think of any sort of career that would involve those things. I mostly knew what I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to be inside at a cubicle, and I for sure didn’t want to be in a classroom.

I looked up ahead at the cluster of trees I was about to run through. It was dark in the forest, covered in thick shadows. Weak sunlight cascaded through the branches up above. The shade felt good. I was hot and working up a sweat.

I looked up ahead and stopped.

She stood in the distance just off the path, lingering in the trees, staring at me with those razor sharp eyes.

Chills shot through my body. Again.

I pulled out my ear buds, trying to catch my breath but never taking my eyes off her. Her white dress blew behind her. She looked exactly the same as she had that day on the river, her wet hair matted down around her head and gown, that same dead expression. Her face was stark white with large, dark circles surrounding those piercing eyes.

She stood there, waiting. Waiting for me.

A gust of cold air slammed into me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. She kept staring, refusing to let go of my eyes.

I shivered as I backed away slowly before turning around and taking off back to the park. I ran as fast as I could, back to the sun, back to the people playing on the grass. Back to normal. I didn’t stop until I got to the Jeep, until I was inside with the doors locked.

She hadn’t followed me. I quickly started the car and drove out of the parking lot. With my heart thundering in my chest and my hands shaking, I weaved down the street and headed home.

That was twice now. Twice that I’d seen her.

No other ghost in the past year had done what she was doing.

She was stalking me.

CHAPTER 10

I was glad the house was empty when I pulled up.

I was still shaking as I stood in the shower, letting hot water rain down on me. I hoped it would wash away the dark feeling. There was something awful about that ghost, something horrifying.

She carried with her the same darkness I used to feel. That darkness from the lake.

I stayed under the water for a long time. When I finally came out, the bathroom was like a sauna with dense steam hanging thick in the air. I wrapped myself in towels and a robe and headed over to my computer.

I had told Kate about those others that I had seen on the streets and I would tell her about this one too. Just not yet. I didn’t want her to worry. Also, if she knew I’d seen the ghost on the river she’d want me to quit my job.

For now, I needed Claire’s opinion.

I had found Claire on the internet six months ago when I wasn’t getting anywhere on my own in my search for Jesse. I had a sinking feeling that he was getting farther and farther away from me and I needed to know what had happened to him. If he was okay. I knew he wouldn’t leave me if he had a choice. I wanted to know whether he was gone for good or if he still was out there.

I felt kind of stupid looking for a medium online. There were thousands of them, all willing to help in exchange for a credit card number. But I wasn’t a fool. I knew that most of them were fakes. Most of the sites I visited left me with a bad feeling, and I knew they were taking advantage of sad, desperate people. So I kept looking, hoping to find one real one who could help me. One was all I needed.

It had taken a few weeks to find her, but when I did it felt right.

Claire was a single mom who lived in London and had “the gift” of seeing spirits and dead people, according to her website. I didn’t know what it was about her, maybe just a feeling, but she was the only one I contacted.

I knew that Kate and Dr. Mortimer and Dr. Krowe would say that it was just proof that I still hadn’t accepted Jesse’s death and that I needed more therapy. So I didn’t tell anyone about what I was doing.

I wrote to her to see if she could help me. And when I told her that I had seen and talked to Jesse for months after he died, she believed me. She told me it happened like that sometimes, that once in a while spirits stayed around because they weren’t ready to let go.

We never spoke on the phone, only through email or instant message. She said she wanted to help because I had an “interesting energy” and that she would like to work with me. She never did end up charging me for anything either.