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‘Is there a reason you didn’t toast my marriage?’

‘Sorry?’ I stop in the hallway, somewhere between where the reception is taking place and where the bedrooms are. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realise Ob was behind me.

The wedding ceremony happened without a hitch. No one objected to Jade and Ob getting married – Randolph, as they had to declare him – and now after a very tasty, three-course dinner, the fun has started. I watched Jade and Ob swirl around for their first dance, which painfully reminded me that Piers and I never had one.

I wouldn’t change our New York wedding for anything, but I can change him not being here. I’m heading to my room to put my rings back on and to give my husband a grovelling call. I miss him. Today has sucked without him, and that’s completely my fault.

Ob glares at me and I sigh. Why has he followed me? He should be celebrating with his new wife. Weddings go by so quickly; he should savour every moment he can.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask him.

‘I saw you, Arielle. When everyone else was toasting us with champagne, you were pretending.’

‘I don’t feel like drinking at the moment,’ I mutter, ‘but I still raised my glass for the toast.’

Exactly like Jade, to be fair. She wasn’t knocking back her champagne on account of the baby.

Unlike us though, Ob hasn’t had a problem knocking back the drinks. The whisky is radiating from him and his eyes are very bloodshot. Jade will be relieved that all the photos are done and dusted given the state of her new husband, though there’s still all the snap happy guests around to remind Ob that he was shit-faced at his wedding.

‘Is this seriously why you followed me, because I didn’t have a sip of champagne?’

I refrain from adding that it’s technically
my
champagne, and I won’t drink it if I don’t want to, since neither Ob or Jade have paid us any money towards the cost of
their
wedding. They scaled back the day considerably, which means the deposit we paid has covered the entire bloody venue cost with the discount Tharnham gave them for their last-minute wedding. I’m really regretting our generosity now.

‘Do you have a problem with Jade?’ Ob demands.

How do you tell your best friend that you have a problem with his new wife?

‘Of course not,’ I lie.

‘Really?’ Ob challenges.

It is very unlike my kind-hearted best friend to be aggressive like this, and especially to be aggressive towards me; even though I know this, I still lose it. That one word from him, that challenge, has opened up a can of worms. When fused together with the memory of my fight with Piers, it triggers such anger in me. I feel out of control, and even though the tiny voice in my head is telling me to grit my teeth and try to smooth things over with Ob – it is his wedding day, and I suspect there’s a bigger problem here – I let him have it.

‘If I had a fucking problem with Jade,’ I hiss, ‘then I wouldn’t have let you use my Tharnham booking, would I?’

‘Of course you would,’ Ob splutters. ‘So then you could lord it over me.’

His gelled down red hair has started to spring up in little tufts, and I clock that a gravy stain has joined the ketchup mark on his jacket. It’s hard to feel fond of someone though when they are yelling in your face.

‘That makes no sense,’ I rage back at him. ‘If you knew that, you would have avoided me so we wouldn’t have this conversation that you, supposedly,’ I mock, ‘knew would happen.’

‘That makes–’

‘It makes perfect sense,’ I interrupt, ‘and, anyway, it’s not me you should be confronting.’

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, but I don’t think I’m the only person who noticed Jade’s frantic whispered conversation with one of the male guests after the ceremony. A very good-looking male guest.

‘You do have a problem with Jade then?’ Ob sounds triumphant, and I want to hit him, but he doesn’t wait for an answer. ‘You should have stayed at home with Piers and not bothered to come to my wedding. Some friends you both are. You’re lying to me now, and you’ve been lying to me all day that Piers is here. I guess my wedding is beneath your
husband
,’ he spits out.

‘He would have been here if he could,’ I mutter, suddenly feeling exhausted. It’s been a long day.

I hate Ob when he is like this. He can be a nasty drunk, as I’m currently witnessing. I much prefer him when he’s puking, can’t stand up straight and is declaring his undying love. At least I know where I stand when he’s like that. At least I know that he
likes
me.

‘What’s up, Fatty? Did he find out about Noah?’ he taunts.

‘What are you on about?’ I ask weakly. I need to sit down because I’m starting to feel light-headed. The narrow panelled corridor that we are in seems to shrink then contract, and the lights flicker ominously.

‘I saw you.’

I have the keenest sense of déjà vu.

‘You saw what?’

‘On my stag do.’

The colour drains from my face. I didn’t do anything, wasn’t in the wrong, but that moment still makes me feel so guilty. This isn’t some dirty little secret I’ve kept hidden away though. Not this time.

‘So you saw me push Noah away and kick him in the balls?’ I demand angrily.

‘Well... no,’ Ob stutters, surprised, ‘but–’

‘Well, I did,’ I yell, ‘so why don’t you mind your own business. How dare you accuse me of whatever it was you were implying,’ I fire at him. ‘Piers and I have only just got married, and you’re one to talk anyway when...’

I don’t finish that sentence. I don’t want to remind Ob that he declared his drunken love for me, that he wanted
us
to be the ones getting married today at Tharnham Hall. I don’t want to lose him as a friend. I love Ob so much, just not in the way he wants me to.

‘I wouldn’t know about you two getting married,’ Ob scoffs, ‘because I didn’t get invited to
your
wedding.’

‘I explained why.’

‘Yeah, but you’re at my wedding now.’

That doesn’t even make sense.

‘I’m your best woman,’ I point out.

‘Why? You didn’t want me to marry Jade. You’re not happy for me.’

I suspect that the person who isn’t happy here is Obélix. Why didn’t I stop him from marrying her and air my suspicions that I really don’t think it’s Ob’s baby she’s carrying. I let my life get in the way at Obélix’s expense. I should have been a better friend.

‘I’d like you to leave,’ he snarls at me, which pushes away all those sympathetic thoughts from a moment ago. 

‘Ob, this was my wedding, remember? I paid for it,’ I screech at him, my patience well and truly gone.

He gives me the finger in retaliation, his face dripping in sweat. Anger radiates from him, and I fear he’s going to start trashing the place, but he storms off.

‘Like you could have got married here without us. Don’t you forget that,’ I yell at the back of Obélix’s head.

That anger?
Gone
. All I want to do is break down and weep. What a fucking mess.

‘Fatty?’

‘I thought you’d stop calling me that,’ I sniffle as I quickly wipe away the tears from my cheeks and eyes.

‘Did I do that?’ he asks as he slides down the wall and joins me on the floor. A stern portrait of Edynfed Brackenbury stares down at us. He clearly disapproves of all this shouting and crying going on in his ancestral home, and I don’t blame him. What happened just now? When did Ob and I ever treat each other like that? I feel ashamed, and I feel sad.

‘Do what?’

‘Make you cry?’

‘Of course you made me cry. You were bloody awful to me.’

‘I’m sorry.’             

That sorry speaks volumes. Ob is sorry about something more than merely flying off the handle.

‘I’m sorry, too,’ I say. ‘This is your wedding, not mine.’

He puts his arm around me. ‘Fatty?’

I want to press him on why he’s not enjoying his wedding with his wife, but I suspect I know what’s coming and there’s a little part of me that hopes I’m wrong.

‘What’s up, Ob?’ I ask lightly, but I feel so tense.

‘Are you happy?’

‘Happy?’ I echo lightly.

‘With Piers? You’re not wearing your rings and you don’t seem happy...’ he trails off, hope ringing out loud in his question.

I shuffle away from him so I can look directly into his eyes.

‘Ob, you’re my best friend, and that will never change, but Piers is my soul mate,’ I say gently. ‘We might be fighting now, but I will be fighting with Piers until one of us dies. Until death do us part, remember,’ I joke, reminding him of his wedding vows from just a few hours ago.

Ob’s face crumples.

‘Oh, crap. No, Ob, please don’t,’ I soothe.

‘I can make you happy,’ he mutters.

‘You do make me happy,’ I say carefully, ‘but you make me happy as my
best
friend
. When you’re not being a dick,’ I add, hoping to reduce some of this tension that’s crackling between us.

Ob looks at me with puppy dog eyes, and I feel monstrous – but I
love
Piers. How I love Ob is completely different. It’s the love I feel for my brother from another mother (and father).

‘What about Jade?’ I ask him in a tiny voice. ‘Where’s all this come from? Why are you not celebrating with her?’

Staring at Ob, I see his shoulders shake up and down, and I wonder why he’s laughing – then I twig he’s crying. My heart aches. I’ve never seen him cry, and I never want him to be this hurt ever again. His broad shoulders are shaking madly, and he sounds like a wounded animal. Huge racking sobs escape from him.

‘Oh, Ob,’ I mutter, pulling him towards me.

Today should have been the happiest day of his life.

‘I don’t think it’s my baby,’ he finally chokes out, and my heart breaks for him. I had hoped it was just me, that there was no truth in my suspicions, but I know Ob wouldn’t air those words unless he believed them.

‘Why?’ I ask delicately.

‘I’m a vet, Arielle,’ he points out gruffly, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve. ‘I know how long pregnancies take, even in humans. She was pregnant when we went to Beaulieu. I don’t think she knew she was, but she had to have been.’

‘Are you sure?’

The last thing I want Ob to do is to end his marriage if Jade
is
carrying his baby. He has to be one hundred per cent sure. He’d never forgive himself if he was mistaken.

‘I’m sure. Fuck, what have I done?’

‘Well, at least you’ve not paid for this wedding,’ I joke. Ob, mercifully, laughs.

‘Can you forget what I said to you? Not about Jade,’ he clarifies, ‘but about me. About me and you.’

‘It never happened.’ I zip my lips. ‘Just like when you threw up on me at Johnny what’s-his-face’s party,’ I say, referencing a house party Ob dragged me along to when we were teenagers. Yes, Ob has a long history of puking on me.

‘That wasn’t Johnny’s party, that was the Kayleigh Chapman party,’ Ob exclaims with a hint of a smile on his face, though his eyes are bloodshot and the circles underneath them are starting to turn a deep purple.

‘Wait, who you–’

‘A-huh, that was her. Johnny’s her cousin.’

‘Crikey, she was fit, Ob.’ I’m impressed. ‘Why didn’t you stick with her?’

He pulls me a look, and I know the answer is because of me.

‘Right, well get this sorted out with Jade, then look Kayleigh up on Facebook, yeah?’ I try and joke, except I see his devastated face staring back at me. ‘Too soon,’ I mutter. ‘Right.’

‘I should go.’ Ob clears his throat. ‘Go face the music.’

‘Do you want me to come with you?’

Ob shakes his head as I stand up, too.

‘You’ve got this,’ I say, hoping he has and that Jade admits the truth to him. He deserves the truth.

‘See you, Fatty,’ he says sadly.

‘See you, Ob.’

I stand there staring after him, wondering whether I should run after him, when a voice whispers behind me: ‘Boo!’

I jump, clutching my chest, and spin around. ‘Bloody hell, Dad! How long have you been there? I thought you were Edynfed.’

‘What was going on there?’ Dad nods in Obélix’s direction.

Don’t ask,’ I mutter. ‘Where’ve you been anyway? I thought it was only the bedrooms back here.’

Mum and Dad aren’t staying at Tharnham Hall but at a B&B nearby. It must be weird for them knowing that this should have been my wedding. Dad would have been the one making his speech, a clever delightful one, instead of the monotone one we had from Jade’s very scary father. Instead of my best woman speech – which I kept very brief, and very PG-rated – we would have had Giles sharing amusing tales about Piers...
I miss my husband.

‘Arielle, why’s Piers not here really?’

It’s like Dad has read my thoughts.

‘He’s at home, I told you. He’s not feeling too well.’

‘Arielle,’ Dad says sternly in a no-nonsense tone which indicates that he knows there’s a lot more to it than that.

‘It’s fine, Dad. Honestly.’

He shoots me another look.

‘OK, we had a stupid argument.’ I sigh. ‘It’s nothing serious, but it all got a bit too much for me after the party last night. I took it out on Piers when I got home.’

Dad is studying my face carefully but he doesn’t say anything. 

‘I was heading to my room to call him, OK!’ I mutter defensively. ‘See if he can get here for the end of the reception, not that there’s going to be much of a party going on shortly. Ob doesn’t think the baby is his,’ I explain. ‘Married life is hard, huh?’ I try and joke.

‘Yes, it might be hard for
Piers
,’ Dad points out.

I let out a small gasp. This is
my
dad. He’s supposed to be on
my
side.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well...’ He downs the rest of his drink and places his glass on the side table underneath Edynfed. Edynfed continues to look down disapprovingly at us. I bet things were a lot simpler in his day.

‘Look at what’s happened in the past few months. You’ve started to build up something with your internet antics and the pop-up, just as Piers gets really ill and has to leave the job that is his life. He must be feeling it.’

‘That’s...’ I snort, but I stop myself. I was about to say ridiculous, but Dad is right.

For the first time in a very long time, I actually know what I’m doing. I have found myself. I have a purpose that was, sadly, missing before.

OK, I’ve got sucked into other things – like the gallery – but as soon as the market reopens then I’m launching Frocks and Socks. I owe that much to Felicity. There’s a reason she didn’t cancel the lease.

Until that happens though, I’ll be running pop-ups and offering my fashion consultancy services online. I’ve got a meeting with an investor friend of Piers’ next week who knows about e-commerce start-ups; I’m going to make my idea happen, and I’m going to make it a success.

‘The world doesn’t always revolve around you,’ Dad says kindly. ‘You can fix things though.’

‘I can?’

‘Yes. You know your room?’

I nod.

‘Go there. You have a visitor.’

I shoot Dad a look.

‘Look, go and talk to your husband, Arielle.’

‘Piers is here?’ I squeak.

‘He is.’

Suddenly, even though I was about to call Piers from my room, I want to go anywhere but there.

‘I should maybe go after Ob though. He–’

‘Arielle Demi Lockley,’ Dad interrupts with a stern face, then laughs. ‘Arielle Demi
Bramley
,’ he corrects, ‘go and talk to your bloody husband. He’s been hiding out in your room. I had to sneak the poor man some food that I tucked away in my napkin.’

‘But the baby’s not Ob’s, didn’t you–’

‘Arielle! Don’t worry about Ob. I’ll go and see to him, and he has all his family here.’

‘But–’

‘Arielle! I never thought I’d be saying this to you as a grown-up, but do as you’re told and go to your bloody room!’

I can’t help but laugh at that.

Dad is right though. If Piers is here I need to make things right with him. I’m only stalling because I’m a scared idiot. I have no reason to be scared though because that is my husband, my
soul mate
, waiting for me.

‘Thanks, Dad,’ I call back at him as I dash towards my room and, of course, towards Piers.