Found (48 page)

“I don’t wish to challenge you,” Xairn said,
taking a step toward him. “I wish to
kill
you.”

“What—?” the AllFather began, his crimson
eyes wide with surprise.

Xairn plunged the cryo-knife into his chest,
skewering the twisted black lump that served as his heart. “Die,
Father” he whispered.
“Die.”

The AllFather’s body froze in shock and a
thin layer of frost formed over his rigid torso. Xairn watched
dispassionately as the male who had raised him with such misery and
pain fell to his knees and the life left his eyes.

As the AllFather fell, it seemed as though
some connection between them was severed. The strange, greedy hand
Xairn had felt inside himself was being pulled out, like a tooth
being yanked out by the roots. He cried out in sudden pain, one
hand clutching his chest. Then he collapsed at the foot of the
green etched throne, falling helpless between the bodies of his
mother and father.

Mother,
he thought, turning his face
toward her face, finally peaceful in death.
I’m sorry. I
couldn’t save you but at least I avenged you. And whatever it was
that made me like him is gone. The power, the greed, is
gone…

Then the world was eaten by darkness and he
knew no more.

He woke in a dim room with someone bending
over him. “What…who are you?” he mumbled, trying to make his eyes
focus.

“Relax Xairn. It’s me, Sylvan—I’m a
healer.”

“Am I sick? Where am I?” He sat up in bed and
the room spun around him. With a groan he sank back down onto the
pillows.

“Take it easy.” Sylvan sounded worried. “You
had many wounds—you lost a lot of blood. I want to give you a
transfusion but I’m still running tests to make sure our blood is
compatible with yours.”

“Nothing about me is compatible with anyone.”
Xairn started to put a hand to his head…and stopped. “Turn up the
lights.”

“What?” Sylvan frowned.

“Turn up the lights, damn it! I need to see
something.”

“Very well.” Looking up, Sylvan addressed the
ceiling. “Lights high.”

Xairn blinked in the sudden brilliance and
examined his hand with its pearlescent grey skin.
Grey? But it
was tan—the human DNA I got from Lauren changed it. How can it
possible by grey again? How—?

Suddenly, in a rush of images, everything
came back to him. The corridor filled with vat grown soldiers, the
high steps leading to the throne, the cage covered in black cloth,
the grinning face of his father, the sorrowful, beautiful face of
his mother before she aged and died right before his eyes. And the
cryo-knife, plunged to the hilt in the AllFather’s chest.

Gone. They’re both gone. I killed them
both.

“Your mother’s death was not your fault,”
Sylvan murmured and Xairn realized he’d spoken his desolate
thoughts aloud. “And your father richly deserved what you gave
him.”

Xairn shook his head. “I took her from the
cage. If I’d left her in—”

“She still would have died,” Sylvan
interrupted him. “The stasis holder can’t last forever. Once a
subject is taken from such a long stasis, death is inevitable.
There was nothing you could have done to save her, Xairn. I’m
sorry.”

“I longed for her all my life and I got to
see her for such a short time.” Xairn looked down at his hands. “I
do not regret what I did to my father but I will never stop
mourning for her. For my mother.”

“I know.” Sylvan put a gentle hand on his
shoulder. “At a time like this, it’s best to try and share the pain
with someone who cares for you. Lauren is waiting to see you—she
just came up from Earth. She’s outside the door right now.”

“No!” Xairn sat bolt upright. “No, I won’t
see her. Don’t let her in.”

“Really?” Sylvan looked perplexed. “But,
Brother, she loves you.”

“I am not your brother and it doesn’t matter
how Lauren feels about me. I won’t see her.” Xairn looked down at
the hateful grey hue of his skin. “Send her away.” He wished he
could use the power he’d had so briefly to force the other male to
do as he asked. But he knew without even trying that it was gone—it
had been pulled from him during his father’s death. His Scourge
instincts and desires, however, still remained intact.

“Be reasonable,” Sylvan said softly. “She
cares for you deeply and I know you care for her. At least speak to
her.”

“You’re right.” Xairn looked up at him. “I do
care for her. I
love
her—which is why I must never see her
again.”

Sylvan frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Look at me.” Xairn held out his hands. “I am
as I was before. The human DNA I had grafted to my own has been
broken and replaced by my original Scourge genetic makeup.”

“Lauren won’t care about your appearance,”
Sylvan said, shaking his head. “Such things are of no importance
where love is concerned.”

“It is because I love her that I cannot see
her.” Xairn sighed painfully. “It’s not just the way I look—it’s
the way I feel. The way I’ll act if I’m not careful.” He looked at
the other male. “You know what Scourge sexual practices are, do you
not? The dominance and cruelty that is bred into our very
genes?”

Sylvan looked troubled. “I do but I thought
you must have found a way to circumvent those traits.”

“I did.” Xairn ran a hand through his hair.
“It was the human DNA—that was what allowed me to control myself.
Now that it’s gone I cannot trust myself around Lauren anymore. I
can’t…can’t trust myself not to harm her.” He looked at his hands.
“Surely you can understand.”

“I would simply tell you to get your DNA
altered again but a second alteration isn’t possible after the
first has failed.” Sylvan raised one pale blond eyebrow at him.
“You truly fear you might hurt her?”

“I know I would,” Xairn said heavily. “And I
love her too much to risk her safety. Please…have her returned to
Earth.”

Sylvan nodded reluctantly. “I will but I’m
afraid she won’t go easily. She’s very insistent about seeing
you.”

“Do whatever you have to but send her away. I
can’t see her.” Xairn shook his head. “In fact, I need to leave
myself.”

He started to get up but Sylvan stopped him,
pushing back against the pillows with one large hand. “That I
cannot allow. You’re still weak and under my care. Until I
discharge you from the med unit, you’ll have to stay here.”

“How much longer do I have to stay?” Xairn
demanded. “I need to leave—need to get far away from here.”

“Don’t be so eager to leave the ones who care
for you,” Sylvan said gently. “It doesn’t matter to us what you
look like, we still consider you our brother. Now rest—I’ll try to
handle Lauren.”

Xairn wanted to get out of bed, to protest
that he was well enough to leave. But the room began spinning
around him again and his head dropped back on the pillows.
Soon,
he told himself, putting a hand over his arm.
Soon
I’ll leave and go far from here.

Where would he go? He had no idea but it
didn’t really matter. He didn’t care where he went as long as he
put enough distance between himself and Lauren. Enough that she
could never, ever find him.

“Surprise!”

Lauren looked up to see Olivia, Sophia, and
Kat walk in the door of the Sweet Spot. She waved at them, trying
to smile. “Hi, you guys.”

“It’s not a surprise, Liv,” Sophia said as
they came up to the counter. “I told her we were coming.”

“You did?” Olivia demanded. “Why?”

“So I could whip up a special treat for my
pregnant cuz,” Lauren said. “Hang on, let me run in the back and
get it.”

“Can I come with you?” Kat stepped forward, a
curious look on her face. “I’ve always wanted to see what the
inside of a bakery looks like.”

“Come on back.” Lauren nodded at her friend
and beckoned her around the counter. “Would you two like to come
too?” she asked her cousins.

“Uh, I think we’ll stay here and admire your
creations.” Sophia nodded at her twin sister. Olivia’s eyes were
glued to the glass cases in the front where the cupcakes Lauren had
baked that morning were on display.

“Fine, pick some to take home while you’re at
it.” Lauren nodded at them and then escorted Kat through the
swinging metal door which led to the kitchen.

To her surprise, the moment they were alone,
Kat grabbed her arm and looked into her eyes. “I know all about
your problem with Xairn and I think I have a solution for you.”

“What?” Lauren looked at her with wide eyes.
“If you know all about it then you’re one up on me. All I know is
that he refuses to see me no matter…no matter what.” Her voice
wavered but she couldn’t seem to help it. “It’s been three weeks
now, Kat. I…I’ve about given up hope of changing his mind.”

“Don’t give up hope.” Kat squeezed her arm.
“He’s going through a lot right now—he watched his mother die and
had to kill his own father. That’s not something you get over right
away—even with a crapload of therapy and he still refuses to talk
to anyone about it.”

“I know.” Lauren’s eyes filled with tears.
“But I want to be there for him—to help him get over what happened.
Only he won’t see me, won’t even talk to me on the viewscreen.”

“He’s changed,” Kat said. “A lot. He’s
reverted back to how he looked before you guys swapped DNA.”

Lauren shook her head. “I don’t care about
that! I just want to be with him. Before he left, he told me he
wanted to be with me too. I guess…he changed his mind.”

“Only because he’s afraid he might hurt you.
And I have to be honest—I think he might,” Kat said seriously.

“What?” Lauren demanded. “What are you
talking about?”

“I’ve been doing some research on the Scourge
and the way they have bonding sex,” Kat. “It sounds like you’re in
for a rough ride if Xairn does come back to you.”

“I don’t care,” Lauren said passionately.
“I’ve thought about that and you know what I decided? It’s worth
it. No matter how much it hurts, I’ll go through with it if it
means I’ll have Xairn back in my life for good.”

Kat shook her head. “But he thinks the exact
opposite—that nothing is worth hurting you, not even a lasting,
bonded relationship. So what you need is a way to have bonding sex
with him
without
getting hurt.”

Lauren bit her lip. “I’m afraid that’s
probably not going to happen. I don’t want to be crude but you
should
see
the size of his, uh, equipment. And Scourge have
two
shafts instead of one so if we did have bonding
sex—”

“I know,” Kat interrupted, nodding knowingly.
“Didn’t I tell you I did some research?”

“And you found a solution?” Lauren asked,
raising an eyebrow. She walked over to the convection oven where
Olivia’s cupcakes were baking.

“I found out a lot of things,” Kat said
mysteriously. “For instance, did you know the original Scourge
women actually
liked
the way they were treated?”

“What?” Lauren frowned. “Xairn told me they
were tied up and tortured. Who would like that?”

“There were some abuses of power,” Kat
acknowledged, going over to the counter to look at the bowl of pale
green frosting Lauren had prepared. “But in a lot of bonded
relationships, the female Scourge seemed to genuinely care for
their mates and enjoy their sexual relationship. That’s because
while the Scourge males were natural Dominants, the Scourge females
were natural submissives—it was hardwired into them to enjoy being
dominated.”

“Really?” Lauren looked at her with wide
eyes, the tray of chocolate cupcakes she was taking out of the oven
forgotten. “They…they really
liked
it?”

Kat shrugged. “It was in their genes. They
couldn’t
help
liking it.”

Lauren looked down at the cupcakes she’d
baked especially for her cousin. “Kat, if I tell you something do
you promise not to think I’m weird or sick or something?”

“Word of honor.” Kat raised her right hand
solemnly. “Go ahead and spill—I’m not the judgmental type.”

Lauren smiled as she put down the cupcakes.
“I didn’t think so. The thing is that ever since Xairn has come to
stay with me here on Earth I’ve been having these, well…these
fantasies. About things I never would have been interested in
before.”

“Mm-hmm.” Kat nodded. “Go on.”

“Well, I felt weird about it and kept
thinking it was strange and unnatural. I mean, I was raised to be a
feminist and never let any man dominate me. So I kept wondering why
I was fantasizing about this kind of…thing.”

“About being submissive, you mean?” Kat
raised one dark red eyebrow.

Lauren blushed and nodded. “Essentially,
yes.” She began removing the cupcakes from their trays, working
carefully as she spoke. “As I said, I didn’t know where all this
was coming from. But now I realize I’ve only been having these, uh,
feelings
since Xairn and I had our DNA altered.”

“That makes sense,” Kat said thoughtfully.
“You took some of his DNA and he took some of yours, right?”

Lauren nodded. “And I never could figure out
what I got out of the exchange. I mean, with Xairn it was
obvious—it changed his skin and eye coloring dramatically. But with
me, nothing changed except my scent. And the change was so subtle
nobody by Xairn could even tell.”

“Maybe you
did
get something else from
the exchange,” Kat said. “If you’ve got Scourge DNA running around
inside you, it’s not surprising that you’re having the same kind of
urges a Scourge female would when she wanted to have bonding sex
with her male.”

“That’s what I’m beginning to think. Whew…”
Lauren let out a shaky laugh. “For awhile there I thought I was
going crazy or something. I couldn’t figure out why I wanted…what I
wanted,” she ended lamely.