Found by Love (43 page)

"Whose fault was that Sis? Yours! You could have talked to Olivia about it and ya know it. As a matter of fact it might have helped pull herself out of her grief quicker knowing that you needed her." I nodded my head regrettably.

"Okay, okay. You're right." He put his hand over his ear and grinned.

"I'm what? Can you say that again? Man! I waited my whole life to hear you tell me I was right about something and you wait until you see me in a dream! After my death?" He was laughing but I was crying again.

"That's not nice. This was feeling like old times again until you mentioned the fact that you're not alive. Do you have any clue how much I miss you?" I put my head on his chest and breathed him in while he cradled me in his arms and soothed me with his words.

"Shhhh. I know you do because I feel it every day but you know what? People come and go into our lives when you least expect it for a reason. Do you remember when Mom and Dad died? Who stepped in to help fill that void?"

"Henry and Elizabeth. They kind of took us under their wing." I looked up at him. "I haven't really talked to them much over this whole Grayson ordeal. I've felt so ashamed of myself and have blamed myself for what happened to him and keep thinking that if I would have kept him he'd be in a better place. Mentally that is." I felt him let out a frustrated sigh and I looked up into his eyes and he seemed put off for some reason.

"Now see! There you go again. You've been doing so well and Caleb has been helping you deal with things and helping you find yourself and boom! Just like that you're back to blaming yourself for everything that you think has gone wrong."

"What do you mean by he's helping me find myself? I haven't been lost! I've just been-" He cut me off before I could finish what I was saying.

"Oh you've been lost and for a long time Sis and way before I died. The real Claudia that I know and love and grew up with has finally come back to the surface because of his love for you. Don't you see that?" I opened my mouth and started to say something but had to pause because he was right. Again! I had to change the mood of the conversation.

"I really do love him ya know. I'm pretty crazy about him and realize what a selfish jerk I've been to him all of these years." I can't wipe the grin from my face after thinking about Caleb and how much closer we've become since last night. "I really think you two would have gotten along. You do approve of him don't you?" He smiled and laughed at me.

"Of course I approve of him and I know we would have gotten along and you wanna know why? Because he loves you and he always has and anyone can tell just by the way he looks at you and even by the way he says your name. Cruella! Hahahaha! Boy if that name doesn't fit you."

I punched him in the arm as he continued to laugh and the tears started forming again and I reached over and hugged him as tight as I could. He put his hand on the back of my head and started rubbing my back.

"Thank you Derek. Thank you for coming to see me even if it only was in a dream. I've missed having my older brother around and this has helped fill that gaping hole that you left when you died." I pulled away and smiled at him through my tears. "I love you still and I always will... Forever and ever." I had to add the last part to lighten the mood because we've never been mushy and I knew it would give him a chuckle which is what he did.

"Haha... It's amazing how dying will make you reevaluate how you communicate huh. Haha. I love you too little sis." He hugged me again and stood up and cocked his head at me. "Do me a favor will ya? Tell Olivia I love her and tell her that the kids and I are doing great." His eyes were starting to mist up and I knew he was leaving me again. "Give my nephew a hug and... tell Olivia to lighten up on Cash a little bit because he's under way more pressure than I ever was. He might have more money than I'd ever see in my lifetime but he has way more responsibilities. He's a good man and it's you that I need to thank for him showing up in her life when she needed him so thank you for that." I was quite shocked by his admission and he noticed and laughed. "Hey... I'm dead remember? She deserves to be loved and to have babies to love again because she's... Well... She's the sweetest woman in the world and I would never expect her to not move on. I'm really happy and proud for her." I walked up to him and touched his arm gently while he composed himself.

"I'll tell her. I guess you already know that she's having another baby?" He nodded his head and laughed.

"Yeah and I also know that Cash is freaking out about it but he'll be alright. They'll BOTH be alright because they're great for each other and communicate better than Olivia and I ever did. That was on me though."

"Yeah, Olivia is quite the saint." He grinned and nodded at me and I hugged him because I felt like he could leave at any moment and I wanted to savor this for as long as I could.

"Communicate with Caleb, Sis. Even if you think it's stupid; talk to him because he listens to you. He loves you. ALL of you! The good, bad, ugly and especially the crazy! Don't forget that. Trust him alright?" I squeezed him tighter and nodded my head.

"I will and I do. Finally! I really do." He pulled away from me and gave me that cocky grin of his.

"I love you Sis but it's time to wake up now. Goodbye." I watched him walk down the walkway deeper into the garden and I had an urge to follow him but my whole body started shaking and I couldn't move.

"Claudia... Wake up Baby! Come on, you're scaring me. Wake up!"

I hear Caleb's voice and he sounds scared. I turn around and I'm back on the couch and he's leaning over me with fear in his eyes.

"What's wrong? Is Grayson alright? Did someone die?" I look around the room and other than Caleb we are alone in the living room. He swept me up into his arms and tried to control his breathing.

"I thought you were dead! I couldn't wake you up you were sleeping so hard. I even pulled my phone out to call for an ambulance." All of a sudden Cash, Olivia, Josie and Mattie rush into the room.

"Caleb? What's wrong? We heard you all the way up two flights of stairs." I was waiting for Caleb to answer Cash but he couldn't seem to compose himself he was that upset.

"Nothing's wrong you guys. I was just sleeping so hard that he couldn't wake me up so I scared him. I guess I was wore out, haha." I reached up and started caressing his cheek to try to get his attention and he finally looked at me and leaned down and gave me the sweetest kiss and pulled my head into his chest.

"You heard her. Can you all leave us alone now? I need to talk to her for a minute." He still seemed pretty scared so I turned towards the four of them and nodded my head and they looked at us like we were crazy but went back to whatever it was they were doing. I could feel Caleb staring at me and he still seemed really scared.

"Baby, I'm fine okay. I was just sleeping hard is all." He shook his head at me.

"I thought you were DEAD! I've been trying to wake you up for ten minutes and you wouldn't budge or make a sound until you woke up. You started talking but I knew you weren't talking to me. Were you having a dream?"

Derek! I was dreaming about Derek! With the craziness going on when I first woke up I completely forgot about finally seeing him. I grinned at Caleb and nodded my head which made him feel a little better.

"Were you dreaming about our wedding maybe?" I giggled because of the way he arched his eyebrows up.

"Haha. Stop doing that and no I wasn't silly. Why do you think I was dreaming about our wedding?"

"Okay ouch! That hurt because you just made it sound like that's not something you want to dream about but I specifically heard you say and I quote; "I will and I do. Finally! I really do." To me, that sounded like you were taking me as your husband in your dream." I thought back to mine and Derek's conversation and remembered why I said what he heard me say.

"I was responding to what Derek told me to do in regards to you." Should I tell him what my brother said exactly? Yes I should because keeping it from him was the opposite of what he said. "He told me to continue communicating with you because you're pretty much madly in love with me and all of my quirks and what not and... Well... to trust you." The grin that spread across his face made me look away from embarrassment but he grabbed my chin and made me face him.

"Pretty much madly in love with you? Ha! Baby I'm all the way madly in love with you."

"I know, I know. He's right and I told him just that and he told me that it felt good but thought it was funny that I couldn't tell him while he was alive that he was ever right about anything." The dream is all coming back to me and tears start stinging my eyes at the memory of it.

"So... Can I call you the ghost whisperer now? I'm just kidding Cru. I can tell that you're happy and sad at the same time. How'd it feel to finally be able to see your brother after all this time?" Awww… He so gets me. He knew how heartbroken I truly was that Derek had never appeared to me like he had Olivia in her dreams. I put my head on his chest and started crying and he consoled me as best he could.

"Bittersweet and depressing at the same time, but we hugged and told each other we loved each other which was something neither of us were very good at while he was alive. He's definitely a fan of yours that's for sure."

"You sound as if you don't want him to be a fan of me. Are you alright?" I look up at him and the worry and concern that he had before was back.

"Yes I'm fine... Or I will be anyway and of course I want him to like you but that's the thing. He's dead. I finally got what I've been wanting and he came to me in a dream and it seemed so unbelievably real and just when I was occupied with my life and wasn't missing him as desperately as I was it has all rushed back and all I want to do right now is go back to sleep and pray that I can see him again."

"So right now, you're mad at me for waking you up and you're mad at Derek for finally visiting you in a dream. Does that about sum it up?” Hearing it said it out loud makes me feel like a complete crazy idiot. I giggle and grin at him as he grinned back at me.

"Yep! Pretty much! Damn... Derek's right. You really do love me for the good, bad, ugly AND crazy! I love that you get me!" I lean up and kiss him hard on the lips and he pulled me closer to him and I feel the last wall that I had surrounding my heart slowly fall away in just this one kiss. I no longer felt any barriers and I felt lighter all at once and I knew Caleb felt it too because I felt him smiling as he ended the kiss and looked deeply into my eyes.

"There it is… finally..... The peaceful contented look you have on your face right now is the most beautiful sight that I've ever before seen in my life. You know I've seen a lot of beauty in the world but your face…. Right now has love and joy written all over it."

"Stop it before you have me blushing and throwing up at the same time with all of this mushiness." Yeah... He about had me gushing back at him but I had to say something to keep from crying again. I looked back over at him to make sure I hadn't hurt his feelings but he knows me best and knew I didn't mean anything hurtful in my response.

"Are you ready for your surprise?" I look down at my hand realizing that it couldn't be too bad because the ring was the biggest surprise I could think of and I already had that. I nodded my head at him. "We... As in you and I and Cash, Olivia and I guess Josie and Mattie are going out tonight. As in OUT! Not a movie, not a game room but ADULT TIME OUT!" I squealed and started hopping in his lap from excitement.

"Oh thank you! I think we all need some adult time! I'm going to run upstairs and go jump in the shower and start getting ready. I love you Nerd Boy."

"I love you Cru! I always will. Now go put something on that will have me dying to take off of you all night.” I knew just the dress to tease him with and couldn’t wait to see his face when he sees me in it. I give him a quick peck on the lips and head to our bedroom, excited for actually getting a date with the man that I love more than anything in the world.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Olivia and Josie came to my room while I was finishing up with the last touches to my hair. Caleb loves it when I wear my hair up and I like the way he is constantly caressing my neck and behind my ear when it’s up so up in a clip it goes.

“Well girl you sure do make me feel like a whale in this dress. Claudia, what time do you work out because I would like to train with you? I could lose a few pounds and tone myself up.” I looked over at Josie and she looked ravishing in her dress and I couldn’t imagine why she was calling herself a whale. Olivia busted out laughing and sat down on the toilet to watch me finish my hair.