Four Nights to Forever (10 page)

Only when she returned with a string of condom packets tucked into the waistband of her blue flowered panties did it occur to Doug what kind of predicament he’d gotten himself into. When the end of the week came and she was handing over his tip, how much of that tip would he feel was due to the extracurricular activities and how much to his ski instruction? And if she didn’t tip him? Either way, the chances he would feel bought and paid for were pretty high.

Then Cassie stood in front of him, her pussy nearly level with his face, and all his concerns disappeared over the edge of his mind.

‡

W
hen she returned, Doug was looking off into the distance, his eyes serious and unfocused. Instead of asking what had caused such a pained look—and possibly making their situation about more than just sexual pleasure—she ripped a condom from the string. The movement caught his attention, and he grunted, scooting forward on the couch until he had caught her legs between his, kissing and licking her belly, his hands sliding under the waistband of her panties and gripping her butt.

“God, you smell good,” he said, his tongue dipping under her waistband and causing her breath to catch. “I could eat you for dessert for the rest of my life and die a happy man.”

She fumbled the foil packet, which was scary enough as it was, at his words. She’d been married for twenty years and infertile for eighteen of them. Still, she managed to figure out enough to roll the condom on Doug’s erection without revealing just how rusty she was, an especially triumphant experience because she managed it while he was kissing her belly and her knees were threatening to collapse.

Cassie rested her hands on Doug’s shoulders and pushed him away so that she could admire her handiwork. His cock was thick and hard. Even covered in latex, she licked her lips at the sight. But she was being completely selfish today. A blowjob would have to wait for another night. She slid her panties off and set her legs outside of his, gripped his length in her hand, and moaned when he entered her.

When she arched her back, his angle changed and he rubbed up against a spot that made her cry out at once. He changed the rhythm of his hips, grinding against her with short grunts of concentration. So good. So magnificent. So big.

He filled her completely.

His hands returned to her butt, his grip strong as he determined their rhythm. She was on top but enjoyed how Doug managed to still be in charge, lifting and caressing her muscles with equal measure, his mouth sucking on her breasts. The man had exquisite timing.

She kept riding him, her breath catching every time he hit a magic button inside her, all her blood rushing to her core. She whipped her head up so she could see him. His brown eyes had darkened to the rich color of oak and his face held the tightness of a man about to come. Keeping one hand on his shoulder, she reached down with the other, touching herself as she rode him. He was looking down, and together, they watched his cock move in and out of her body.

Then suddenly, the hot intensity of his gaze wasn’t burning into her hand anymore. She looked up to find him staring at her face. The side of his mouth opened in a soft smile as their eyes connected, and something fluttered in her heart that wasn’t just sex and desire. That unknown fluttering and her lust mingled and became impossible to separate when he leaned forward and nibbled on her bottom lip.

They pressed their cheeks against each other, and her body catalogued the various sensations. Rough stubble against her cheek. His breath skittering against her neck. Him deep inside her and her fingers on her clit. The sound of skin slapping against skin and breath drowning out the sounds of the condo. Coherence had fallen away with the rest of the world.

His fingers dug into her ass, lifting her up before lowering her down and pushing deep into her. She wobbled but never had a moment to feel unsteady because he moved one hand up to her waist to steady her. When her release hit, she was grateful for every muscle in his body keeping her upright when she would have otherwise collapsed back onto the floor. The blood that had pooled around her pussy rushed to the extremities of her body with a speed that made her lightheaded. Her toes tingled. She was too caught up in the pleasure of her body to scream out his name, but she accepted him deeper and deeper inside her until he grunted once, hard.

As their rhythm slowed, she drew her damp finger up the front of his body until it touched his lips. He opened his mouth, drawing his tongue along her finger until she lowered her head and replaced her finger with her lips, lingering on their intermingled flavors until he patted her hips and reminded her to get up before the condom became useless. A small detail she had forgotten. She lifted off him and headed for the bathroom to wash up.

When she returned, he had already moved to the bed, and she crawled in next to him under the sheets. As much as she had enjoyed the orgasm, she wanted to wrap her body around his and fall asleep in his warmth, an intimate desire that didn’t fully mesh with a wild fling. Still, she didn’t stop herself from scooting closer to him. And if he had any qualms about adding a layer of intimacy to their night, he didn’t show it. He opened his arms right up and she tucked herself in next to him.

“Tell me about yourself,” she said, feeling his heart beat against her cheek. His chest hair tickled her nose as she talked, but she didn’t move.

“So, you’re one of those women who likes to talk after sex.” His deep chuckle rumbled in her ear, a pleased sound and a gratifying feeling.

She smiled against his chest. “Yes, but that’s something about
me
. I want to know about you.” The ridges of his stomach were hard against her palm as she explored his body. She liked that, too. “How did you become a ski instructor?”

Doug was silent, and she wondered if he would answer.

When she was about to ask a different question, he sucked in a breath and spoke. “I’m like many ski bums, I suppose. I had dreams of grandeur involving an Olympic gold medal and several World Cup championships. But on one training run in high school, I missed my line, caught an edge, and got tangled in the ropes.”

The pain of the memory was evident in the flat tone of his voice. She turned her head and dropped a kiss against his ribs. He squeezed her arm in response.

“Two surgeries on my knees later and it still wasn’t clear if I’d ever get back to my pre-accident skill level. And after all the medical bills, my parents couldn’t afford to keep paying for training. I was the only one who didn’t see that the surgeons had chopped my dreams into little pieces.” Disappointment broke through the control in his voice.

The bed shifted as he moved his arm up to rest above her head. His stroked her hair, his movements becoming absentminded as he continued talking. “I was determined to show them I could do it, so I quit school and decided to make it on my own. Stupid egotistical dreams of a seventeen-year-old boy. I got jobs at ski resorts to pay for my lift tickets, and when I realized the dream was dead and buried, I had nothing but skiing to fall back on.”

“Do you not like it?” she asked. He seemed so at ease on his skis and she’d seen the joy on his face every time he looked at the mountain, but his voice was so full of sorrow now. The two didn’t mesh.

Doug had wrapped a length of her hair around his fingers and was twisting the lock. Just as his movement was about to pull at her scalp, he released her hair and smoothed his palm over her head. “I love it. I ski almost every day during the season. I’m senior enough and respected enough that I get to do the mountain tours for some world-class skiers, people the average Joe Skier sees for a brief second on the lift before they disappear into the chutes.”

Cassie shifted her head so she could look up at him. There wasn’t much light coming in to the room, but there was enough for her to see him smile at her and to notice that his smile didn’t make it to his eyes until she smiled back. He caught her hand in his, bringing their joined fingers to her lips to kiss, then up to his. His lips were soft against her skin.

“But I also hate it. I spend every day with my dead dreams front and center.” He chuckled, and it was a
real
chuckle, the mournful smile gone. “That makes me sound more twisted and obsessed than I think I am. I get to spend half the year in communion with the glories of ice, snow, and mountain, and I get paid for it. And then in the summers I lead hiking and camping trips for the different conferences and groups that meet here. This job actually even gave me enough time off to finish my GED and study management and ecology. Come spring, I’ll be in charge of planning outdoor events for conferences as a full-time job and teaching skiing will be a pastime. I might wish it were different, but if there’s a person out there who looks back on his life and sees perfection, I don’t want to know him.”

Cassie didn’t say it aloud, but her ex didn’t seem to think he’d made any mistakes in life, though he seemed to think she’d made plenty. Since they’d spent the last twenty years together, she still didn’t understand how all the mistakes were her responsibility and all the successes his. But Doug’s arms were around her now, not Tom’s, so she pushed her ex out of her brain and snuggled closer to him.

“If you’re so eager to talk, tell me about your life.” He smoothed his fingers down the side of her face, his touch as soft as his eyes and as gentle as his voice. “What is it you do when you’re not buying groceries for your college-aged daughter?”

She felt the heat rush to her face. Lying in bed with Doug was intimate, and he probably hadn’t meant to make her feel old, but he had. He didn’t have college-aged children. He might not have any children—or he might have several, all with different women. Children and reality didn’t belong in this room tonight any more than Tom did.

“I teach yoga. I just sold my house, so for the past several months it seems like all I’ve been doing is getting the house ready to sell.” A sad summary of her life, but the truth was that all she would have added to that list before her divorce was cooking dinner and doing the filing at her husband’s law firm.

She really needed to figure out who she was.

No, that wasn’t right.

The woman lying in bed, wrapped in the arms of a handsome, interesting man wasn’t anyone who had a sad life. She hugged her arm tighter around Doug’s chest, because he’d encouraged her to be brave enough to bounce down a black-diamond mogul run. But he hadn’t created that bravery in her. She was already that person. Doug had just seen that the confident, courageous woman was still in there before she had.

Cassie liked who she was right now, at this very moment. Here she was the kind, understanding yoga teacher with a devoted fan base, the loving mother and loyal friend,
and
a woman with courage and confidence. She just needed to figure out how to keep all those things together when she returned to Massachusetts.

“Moving into a better house?”

She scoffed. “I’m moving into an apartment. I don’t know that it will be better, but I’m looking forward to not having a yard to take care of.” And less space to be lonely in, even if the apartment was still in Framingham.

But this Cassie wasn’t lonely, and she wouldn’t be lonely tomorrow if she came back to the condo alone, to cook dinner for herself and no one else. The person she was right now would pour herself a glass of wine and find value in the pleasure of her own company. Today, when given the choice between being timid and confident, she had chosen confident each and every time. And she liked herself better for it.

He turned over in bed so that her head was resting on his upper arm and he was lying on his side facing her. His arm wasn’t as comfortable a pillow as his chest had been, but she could see his face better.

“Apartment living’s not so bad, once you get used to the neighbors. In my first apartment after my divorce—”

Her eyes widened. “You’re divorced?” she interrupted.

“Yes.” His head pulled back to look at her. “Is this surprising?”

“I don’t know.”
Yes.
But she didn’t want to admit that she hadn’t thought of him past dinner and a fling. It was embarrassing to acknowledge, even to herself, that she hadn’t considered the nuances of his past and the experiences that had shaped him into the person lying in bed with her.

Embarrassment wasn’t the only emotion poking her in the back. She was startled to learn that she wanted to know more. She’d invited him up to her condo for sexual reasons, but she wanted him to continue sharing personal details of his life.

“Not surprised, I guess,” she said. “But a little embarrassed I didn’t think of the possibility.”

“You didn’t think I would come up here if I were married, did you?” He hadn’t moved, but the distance between them increased. Only inches, but they were uncomfortable inches.

“No, of course not. You didn’t have a ring, plus you said on the lift that you were single.” She smiled and the distance between them closed to centimeters. Not where they were before but better. “I wouldn’t have invited you here if I’d thought you were married.”