“You can’t have that one, Jess. Everyone knows Cinderella wore a blue gown,” Allie said. She grabbed the end of a bolt of royal blue organza. “You have to have
this
one.”
“I want the red one,” Jessie said, her bottom lip jutting out. “Cinderella wore red.”
Meggie walked silently around the display of material.
“I’m telling you, Jess, Cinderella wore a blue dress. Don’tcha remember that plate we got that broke?”
Michelle wondered if she was supposed to intervene. But how could she without choosing sides?
“I want a red dress. Red’s my favorite color. And Cinderella’s dress was red.”
Allie stomped her foot. “You have to wear the blue.” Jessie’s eyes were filling with tears.
Letting her instincts guide her, Michelle stepped between them. “Okay, girls, what’s the problem?” She was glad Jacob wasn’t here—he’d fire her on the spot.
“Cinderella has to wear blue, and Jessie wants red,” Allie said. Jessie sniffled, looking to Michelle to save her from heartbreak. But clearly Allie expected Michelle to back
her
up, too.
Jessie sniffled again, and Michelle made a note to carry tissues in future. “I don’t think it would hurt if, just this once, Cinderella wears a red gown to the ball,” she said. “What color do you want for
your
dress, Allie? Meggie, stay over here, please,” she called as the little girl began to wander off.
Allie walked around the display, studying all the colors. Jessie pulled the bolt of red fabric down, hugging it in her arms.
“I already know what I want,” Meggie said, coming up to point out a bolt of white fabric. “I want this one. It’s just like the one in the picture.”
Allie looked at Meggie’s choice. “You can’t have that one. It’s white. White’s for brides. And Cinderella’s the bride. Hey, Jess, you should have white.”
“Uh-uh. I’m having red,” Jess said, clutching the material against her.
Meggie pulled the bolt of white down. “I want white,” she said, her voice firm.
“You’re not
allowed
to have white. Anyway, purple’s your favorite color. You should have purple,” Allie said, grabbing the end of the bolt, trying to pull it away from her sister.
Meggie wouldn’t let go. “We’re each s’posed to choose our own, Al. You heard Ms. Thomas.”
Michelle noticed a clerk hovering nearby.
“Meggie’s right, Allie honey,” Michelle said, taking the bolt of cloth. “The rule was that each of you has to help make your own costume. It’ll be okay if the colors don’t match the movie exactly. You know, there are actually quite a few movies about Cinderella, and the characters wear different clothes in all of them.” She handed the bolt of material to Meggie before turning to Allie. “So what color do you want?” She put her arm around Allie’s shoulders and led her back to the display.
Allie shrugged. “I dunno,” she said, fingering the fabric.
“Well, what’s
your
favorite color?” Michelle asked.
Allie shrugged again.
Michelle knelt down in front of the little girl. “This yellow’s a pretty color. We could trim it with gold sequins. How does that sound?” she asked.
“I dunno.”
It would be one thing if Allie was just being uncooperative because she didn’t get her own way, but Michelle didn’t think that was the case. It was as if Allie was lost, not sure what to do. Michelle didn’t know what to do, either.
Taking Allie by the shoulders, Michelle guided her toward the front of the rack. “Let’s walk around one more time and you take another look,” she said. “We have to hurry because I’m going to need you to help me find the thread to match these materials and your daddy’s got dinner waiting for us.”
Allie’s shoulders straightened. “I’m a real good thread chooser, aren’t I, you guys?” she said, looking to her sisters for confirmation.
Jessie and Meggie nodded obediently.
Michelle breathed a sigh of relief. All she needed was a little time and she’d get this mothering thing down pat. She grabbed Allie and twirled her around in a hug.
* * *
W
HEN
SHE
GOT
THE
URGE
to hug Allie’s father later that evening, Michelle’s apprehensions returned. They were skating, all five of them, staying on the right side of the course to let faster skaters get by. The girls were in front, with Allie in the lead. And without the triplets knowing it, Jacob was watching them like a hawk. It was amazing how he surrounded them with a security that set them free.
He’d pulled a handkerchief from his pocket earlier to wipe Jessie’s scraped knee, but sent her right off to try again. He’d sat patiently, giving Meggie all the time she needed to try to tie her own laces; after four tries she asked him for help. And then when he’d tied them for her he’d made it seem as if she hadn’t really needed his help at all.
Michelle was seeing another side to the Jacob Ryan she’d thought she knew so well. A side she liked—a lot.
She glanced over at him as he skated next to her. He was wearing blue sweats that were cut into shorts and a white T-shirt. His skin was browned by years of exposure to the California sunshine, and he couldn’t stop grinning. He was every woman’s fantasy man. Or at least hers. But that didn’t mean she could start hugging him—or even start wanting to. She was married to another man.
“See, I told you they were pretty good,” Jacob said, unaware of the disturbing road her thoughts had taken.
Michelle watched the triplets round a corner of the track. Allie turned to say something to her sisters and Meggie and Jessie grinned.
“They’re incredible, Jacob, just incredible.” And they were. This arrangement was the best thing that had happened to her in a long, long time. She wouldn’t let herself screw it up.
* * *
M
EGGIE
WAS
PLAYING
Club Penguin with her sisters a couple of nights later. They’d just finished dinner and still had a while to go before bedtime. Michelle was helping their daddy with the dishes. She’d come for dinner again. That was twice in one week.
They heard Daddy’s voice saying something and then Michelle laughed. All three girls glanced up from their video game to gaze at the hallway leading to the kitchen.
“Michelle’s nice,” Jessie said.
Allie nodded. “Yeah. She smiles a lot.”
Meggie had noticed that, too.
“I’m glad we got picked for the play after all, and have to make costumes,” Jessie said.
“I didn’t know Daddy would bring Michelle home to make our costumes,” Allie said.
Meggie wondered why her sister said things sometimes. Of course Allie didn’t know. How could she?
“But he did and I’m glad,” Jessie said.
“Yeah, me, too,” Allie said.
Meggie was secretly glad, too, but she wasn’t going to say it. She was afraid to.
“Maybe if we’re real good Michelle will want to stay and we’ll be a whole family just like Katie Walters’s,” Jessie said, her eyebrows all crinkly like Allie’s got when something was serious.
Meggie’s heart started to beat hard.
“Yeah! If we’re real good I bet she will,” Allie said.
They both looked at Meggie. She looked back at them. She wanted to hope for a mother. She wanted to so much. But she couldn’t. Sometimes when she wished it made things go bad. Like the time she’d wished her mother would come for Christmas. She’d wished every night for days and days. And that was the year their mother forgot them altogether. Meggie’d always wondered if it was her fault, for wishing for too much.
“Meggie, it’s your turn,” Allie said, still looking at her. “Don’t you think if we’re good Michelle will want to stay and make us a whole family?” she asked as Meggie looked at her game control.
“I’ll be good,” Meggie said.
“You guys wanna play again?” Allie asked as she won the game, just like always.
“Sure,” Jessie said. “How about you, Meggie?”
“Okay. Only I get to go first this time.”
* * *
“I
T
’
S
EIGHT
FORTY
-
THREE
on this gorgeous Monday morning—”
“Already?” Jacob leaned toward his mike to interrupt.
Michelle wrinkled her nose at him. “But before we say goodbye, we need to tell everyone what we have planned for tomorrow…”
“I don’t think Bob wants us saying stuff like that on the air.”
“I’m talking about tomorrow’s show, Jacob,” Michelle said, grinning at him.
“Then can we talk about…you know?” Jacob asked. He’d always enjoyed baiting Michelle, but especially now that he was getting to know her better.
“I guess if talk’s all you can do…”
Jacob gave her a glance promising retribution. “Psychic Alisha Shane will be joining us tomorrow morning, along with City Councilman Richard Butler, who is, I hear, thinking of running for senator,” he said. He looked up from the sheet he was reading. “You think Alisha will have some insights into Mr. Butler’s future?”
“He’s a politician, Jacob. You think he’ll listen?”
Jacob burst out laughing. “That wasn’t nice, Michelle.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll be nice to him tomorrow, I promise.”
Jacob felt good about the morning’s show. He’d been a little apprehensive about how their new arrangement might affect their work, maybe make their banter stale, but to the contrary, things just seemed better all around.
The “on the air” light went off in their sound booth. Michelle smiled at him. She was pleased with the show, too. But there was something more to her smile than a sharing of professional success, something warmer, something almost…intimate.
“Hey, you guys were great!” Bob Chaney barged into the room. “Your ratings have been up all week.”
Jacob gathered up the papers in front of him. “That’s always nice to hear,” he said. Why did their producer have to pick this moment to bear his good tidings?
“It sure is,” Michelle added. She seemed to be giving a lot of attention to the stack of promo CDs in front of her.
Bob leaned against the door frame, crossing one leg over the other. “So tell me, what’s going on between you two?”
Jacob wasn’t sure who sent Bob the sharpest look, him or Michelle, but he had a feeling if looks could kill Bob would have died twice.
“Nothing,” they both said at once.
“Nothing?” Bob laughed incredulously. “Tell me another one. The air’s been crackling around you two for days.”
“We work well together, Bob. You know that. We always have,” Michelle said, as calm as always.
“I can guarantee if there was anything more than that, it
wouldn’t
work,” Jacob added. “You know me. Love ’em and leave ’em.” It was one thing for
him
to fantasize about having a relationship with Michelle, because he knew it would never be anything more than a fantasy, but he couldn’t allow anyone else to get ideas.
Bob laughed. “Come on, you two. Anyone with eyes can see that something’s changed over the past week or two. What about that crack a couple of days ago, Michelle, something to do with the stuff growing inside Jacob’s refrigerator? And what about you Jacob? How’d you know that Michelle does in-line skating with her hands on her hips? Now come clean, you guys. After all, I’m the one who got the two of you together, so to speak.” He grinned knowingly.
Michelle stood up, her face tight with anger. “There is nothing—absolutely nothing—going on between Jacob and me besides a completely platonic friendship. I am a married woman in case you’ve forgotten. I resent the insinuation that I would be unfaithful to my husband.”
And there you have it, folks,
Jacob thought. The reminder, if he needed one, that he and Michelle were never going to share anything except his daughters. Not that he’d ever thought otherwise.
Bob straightened abruptly. “But he’s… I’m sorry, Michelle, it won’t happen again.” He looked across at Jacob with an apologetic shrug. “Whatever the reason, thanks for the ratings.” He let the door to the sound room close behind him.
Jacob reached for the phone. He needed a date.
CHAPTER SEVEN
M
ICHELLE
GLANCED
at the clock. Eleven-thirty. How could Jacob stay out so late when he knew they had to be at work in six and a half hours? She, for one, needed to sleep. Not that he had any idea his late hours were keeping
her
up. As far as Jacob knew, Laurie was sitting with the girls.
She picked up a magazine, leafing through a couple of pages. Although her sewing machine beckoned from across the room, she’d promised Meggie she wouldn’t start sewing her sisters’ dresses before Meggie’s was cut out. And that wouldn’t be until after they made another trip to the fabric store to buy more material. But at least Meggie’d agreed to let Michelle cut out the gown this time.
Restless, she glanced at her watch again. What was Jacob doing out this late? No, scratch that. She didn’t want to know. But it wasn’t as if he hadn’t been out in a while. As a matter of fact, he’d been out three times that week. Not that she was counting—it wasn’t any business of hers if he was off with a different woman every night—but she couldn’t help it if his daughters chose to fill her in on their father’s social life.
She heard a rustling sound coming from the girls’ room and glanced up, wondering if one of them was awake. Maybe she’d better check.
She walked quietly down the hall toward the door she’d left open at Allie’s instruction after she’d tucked the girls into bed. Slipping into the room, Michelle glanced from one bed to the next, assuring herself that all three children were accounted for. Jessie’s teddy bear was on the floor. Michelle tiptoed over, picked up the bear and laid it down gently next to the sleeping child.
Crossing to Allie’s bed, she saw that the little girl was lying flat on her back, still tucked in just as she’d left her. Then she moved hesitantly toward Meggie, half-afraid that Jacob’s self-contained middle child would sense someone trespassing in her space and wake up.
Meggie’s covers were hanging off her bed, and Michelle leaned over to rearrange them. Giving into temptation, she kissed Meggie’s cheek. The child stirred and Michelle froze. But Meggie settled more deeply into her pillow, a trace of a smile softening her face.
With one last longing look, Michelle returned to the living room. She threw herself down on the couch, picked up her magazine, then stared into space. She loved Jacob’s girls, and yet there were times when being with them made her feel lonelier than ever. Tonight was one of them.
Would she ever have a child of her own? Would there ever be someone who turned to her with innocent eyes and a hundred questions, trusting her to have all the answers? Would she ever be the one a child ran to for comfort?
Michelle didn’t know. And she didn’t know if she was doing the best thing, spending so much of her free time with someone else’s children. Being on the outside looking in. She only knew that she wouldn’t trade her time with Jacob’s girls for anything. For as long as they’d include her in their lives, she would be there.
A car pulled into the driveway, its headlights shining through the front window before turning toward the garage. Her heart started to beat a little faster, and her fingers tightened around the edges of the magazine she wasn’t reading. He knew she was here; he’d have seen her car out front. So what was he thinking? That she was keeping tabs on him? That she was taking advantage of their arrangement to invade his privacy?
Michelle forced herself to breathe normally and put the magazine down. She was being ridiculous. She had a perfectly legitimate reason for being here. It would’ve been silly to keep the sitter when Michelle was here, anyway, working with the girls on their costumes. And Jacob was the one who’d told her, when she’d moved her sewing machine into his living room, that she could come over anytime.
She heard his key in the lock, heard him close the door. “Michelle?” His voice sounded so formal. It was worse than she’d imagined.
She stood and slipped into the flats she’d kicked off a couple of hours before, then turned to face him. But the explanation she’d prepared died before it ever reached her lips.
Tongue-tied, embarrassed beyond belief and so jealous she wanted to scream at him, she tried to look anywhere but at his face—but she couldn’t stop staring. He had the unmistakable look of a man who’d just been on a date—a very successful date, judging by the smudge of pink on his cheek.
“Where’s Laurie?” He remained in the doorway, one hand in his pocket, the other fiddling with his keys.
“The girls and I walked her home earlier. There didn’t seem to be much point in having both of us here.”
He nodded, looking over at the material spread out around her sewing machine, at the magazine she’d left lying open on the coffee table, anywhere but at her. “You paid her?”
“I tried, but she said she’d settle up with you later.”
He slid his keys into his pocket. “You never said anything about coming over tonight. I thought you were having dinner with your parents.”
Michelle shook her head. “That was Tuesday. They have a standing bridge game on Thursday nights.”
He nodded again.
Michelle hated this awkwardness between them. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. They were friends—partners.
“The girls went to bed right at eight o’clock, though they did try the old glass-of-water routine I used to pull with my parents,” she said, walking toward him.
“Yeah, they still try it on me from time to time, too. My mistake was in falling for it the first time. That’s the way it is with them. If you give in once they forever hope you’ll do it again.”
Michelle smiled. “I’ll remember that.”
She slid past him, heading for the front door.
Jacob followed her. “I’m sorry it’s so late. It looks like you’re only going to get a couple of hours’ sleep.”
She turned around, once again ready to defend her presence there, to tell him that making costumes was a time-consuming business, that she didn’t want to leave things till the last minute. Again her words died on her lips. His gaze met hers for the first time since he’d walked in the door. He was rubbing the back of his neck, looking remarkably unsure of himself.
It was so unlike Jacob she froze with one hand on the doorknob. His heavy-lidded eyes were filled with all the words he wasn’t saying. There was anger there, the ready defense for finding his home invaded without his prior knowledge. But she saw regret, too. For what? For keeping her out so late? Or for coming home to her straight from an evening with another woman?
She couldn’t look away as he moved closer, almost hypnotized by the changing expression in his eyes. He reached out, fingering the strand of her hair that lay against one shoulder. His gaze locked on to hers.
Michelle had never been so tempted to kiss a man in her life. At that moment it felt like a matter of life and death. She needed to be kissed until she was too breathless to think.
His head came down, his lips parting. So this was what she’d come to. Was she really so desperate for a man’s touch that she’d kiss Jacob, straight from another woman’s arms? She didn’t try to stop him, but her eyes filled with tears.
Jacob backed away immediately. “Maybe you should call before you come next time,” he said as if nothing had happened. “That way I’ll know not to stay out so late.”
If he was trying to make her feel better, he’d failed miserably. Michelle nodded and pulled open the front door. And that was when she remembered Meggie’s ruined costume.
“If it’s all right with you, I need to run Meggie back to the fabric store tomorrow,” she said as soon as she was safely on the porch.
“You forget something?” he asked, leaning on the frame.
Michelle shook her head, gathering her usual composure about her like a cloak. “She didn’t want any help cutting out her costume. She did it herself, with her school scissors, while I was helping Jessie with hers.”
Jacob grinned. “I assume it didn’t turn out too well,” he said.
Michelle smiled back, thinking of the mangled material in his trash can. “You could say that,” she said.
Jacob shook his head, the gold highlights in his hair glinting under the porch light. “I promised the girls I’d take them to the Hard Rock Café tomorrow night. Why don’t you first take Meggie to the store and then come with us, since you’re making the trip over here on a Friday night? I know the place is touristy, but the girls love it.”
And suddenly, in spite of everything, the evening was turning out okay. “I’d like that,” Michelle said. “And by the way you might want to take some stain remover to the make-up on your collar before you throw that shirt in the wash…”
* * *
J
ACOB
HAD
KNOWN
it was a mistake to invite Michelle to spend the evening with the girls and him the minute he’d issued the invitation. She was starting to make him crave a relationship he had no business craving—that he’d resigned himself to never having. Laughter and loyalty even when he was a grouch, mutual respect and love—those were the things he wanted from her, even knowing that she considered herself a married woman.
As he waited with her for a table at the Hard Rock Café the next night, he regretted the invitation again, but for a different reason. He should have foreseen the crowd of people waiting for tables.
He wouldn’t have minded so much if just he and the girls had been here. While it wasn’t easy keeping three energetic and excited seven-year-olds entertained, he was, after all, used to it. But with Michelle here, everything was different. He was on edge, afraid the triplets’ enthusiasm was going to wear on her, expecting one of them to do something embarrassing or, worse, all three of them to do something embarrassing.
“Can I have another soda, Daddy?” Meggie asked, bringing him her empty cup.
“I want one, too, Daddy,” Jessie said, bobbing up and down in front of him.
“Me, too,” Allie said, taking Jessie’s cup and handing it to Jacob with her own.
He glanced at Michelle. Her glass was still full, but she was smiling at the girls. Deciding not to risk the unpleasantness that could occur—in triplicate—from the word
no,
he said, “Sure,” and headed back to the bar.
As he waited for the bartender he wondered what he was doing trying to avoid the inevitable. At some point the girls weren’t going to be perfect angels. In fact, right this minute he was probably creating the situation that was going to ruin things. As a single father he’d discovered years ago that public rest rooms were the ultimate challenge. He couldn’t very well take the girls with him into the men’s room. And he sure wasn’t sending them anywhere on their own. That was why he never took his daughters anywhere without making sure they went to the bathroom just before they left home. But after the long wait to be seated tonight—and after two large sodas—he expected to hear, “Daddy, I have to go right
now,
” at least three times before the evening was over.
The girls all knew what they wanted to eat, and they placed their orders almost as soon as they were seated at the table. Jacob sat between Jessie and Allie trying to restrain their excited chatter. Being with the triplets had never been so exhausting.
“Look at that guitar, Michelle. Isn’t it cool?”
“I like the motorcycle. Did you see the motorcycle, Michelle?”
“Daddy, what’s that record hanging over there? Can I go see?”
Jacob wished he were at home. “Girls, girls, one at a time, please,” he said, afraid to look at Michelle. Had she had enough yet?
“Well, can I, Daddy? Can I go see?” Meggie was halfway out of her chair.
“Meggie, sit,” Jacob said. “We’ll look after we’re done eating.”
“See that guitar, Michelle? It’s Elvis Presley’s,” Allie said, pointing to a corner of the room.
“Yeah, and the motorcycle’s his, too,” Jessie said, sitting up on her knees.
Michelle’s head spun as she tried to keep up with the girls.
“Are they really Elvis Presley’s?” she asked Jacob.
He shrugged. “I doubt it, but you never know.”
“I’m hungry, Daddy. When’s our food coming?” Meggie asked fifteen minutes later, long after the girls had tired of the sights in the room.
“Soon,” he said, hoping he was correct. He must have been out of his mind to have invited Michelle on an outing like this—his family was an accident waiting to happen.
Jessie grabbed the saltshaker and turned it over, spilling salt in her palm.
Jacob snatched it from her. “You know better than that, Jess,” he said, brushing her hand off with his napkin.
Watching Jessie, Allie and Meggie took an interest in the condiments, too.
“I’m counting the sugars,” Meggie said, pulling the dishful of packets toward her.
“What’s this, Daddy?” Allie asked, shaking a bottle of steak sauce.
Jacob lunged for the steak sauce, praying the lid was on tight. “Put the sugars back, Meg. People don’t want to use them after you’ve played with them.”
Jacob was surprised that Michelle still looked so unruffled. Ellen would’ve insisted on leaving.
“Anyone know how to play hangman?” Michelle asked, taking a small notepad and pen from her purse.
“What’s hangman?” Allie and Jessie chorused. Even Meggie looked interested.