Foursome (27 page)

She runs out of steam and looks at me apologetically. Great. The only choice seems to be that I move sideways, take the same job as I’m doing here somewhere else and then try to work my way up. I kick myself for all the years I’ve wasted. I feel too old to be starting again, hoping that someone will spot my potential eventually and give me some more responsibility. ‘OK. Thanks,’ I say, and I try to sound grateful.

‘How’s the career hunting going?’ Dan says when I get home from work, laden down with bags of goodies for Thursday night.

‘Oh, you know…’ I say, and I change the subject.

30

Joshua, Melanie and Lorna have been shut in Joshua’s comfortable office for nearly an hour now. At one point Melanie calls through to Kay to take them in a fresh pot of coffee and, she says, they all sit there in silence when she pours it out and clears away the dirty mugs. I’ve somehow managed to make Kay as paranoid as I am and she’s convinced that they are discussing her inefficiency and the best way to get rid of her.

‘I don’t think that’d take them an hour,’ I say, laughing. ‘Lorna would just say, “I want to sack her,” and they’d say, “Fine.”’

‘That makes me feel so much better.’

‘It’ll be strategy,’ I say. ‘They’re plotting how to win more clients and take over the entertainment world.’

Nevertheless, I’m anxious about what they can possibly be talking about for so long. Maybe, now they know I’m thinking of moving on they’re deciding whether to cut their losses and get someone in to replace me right away. After all, what loyalty do they owe me now, the ingrate who’s throwing their years of support and generosity back in their faces?

When Melanie sticks her head round the door and says, ‘Rebecca, have you got a moment? We’d like to talk to you,’ I nearly have a coronary.

‘Come in, come in,’ Joshua says genially when I reluctantly edge my way through the door. ‘Sit down.’ He’s smiling at me so I try to smile back and manage a kind of snarl. I can’t even look at Lorna who, I imagine, will be revelling in whatever awful fate is about to befall me. I’m tempted to throw myself at Joshua screaming, ‘I don’t want to leave, don’t replace me,’ and, if I thought it wasn’t already a fait accompli, I probably would. Mortimer and Sheedy is my second home. Where else am I going to work where they’ll remember William’s birthday or let me go home early because Zoe’s in a school play?

‘We’ve been talking about you,’ Joshua says as if I hadn’t already worked that one out. ‘Lorna’s been telling us some very interesting stories.’

He waits as if he expects me to say something, but I’m struck dumb. I was never any good at being in the headmaster’s office. I just want this to be over with.

‘So, the idea for Heather’s new game show came from you, I gather?’ he says, and I nod because it seems to be expected of me. ‘They definitely want to make it, by the way, isn’t that right, Lorna?’

‘Next summer,’ Lorna pipes up. ‘Once we’ve got her out of her ITV commitments.’

I’m starting to get a little confused about why I’m in here. Do they just want to show off about how successful they’re going to be once Heather’s big new BBC contract kicks in next year?

‘And she also told us that you were at the lunch with Niall Johnson,’ Melanie says. I look at Lorna. She’s doing that strange smile type of thing at me again. I look away. Never smile at a crocodile. ‘And that you basically took charge of the situation because she was a little… under the weather.’

I grunt and look at my feet like a fourteen-year-old who’s been accused of smoking in the stationary cupboard.

‘Plus we’ve heard all about what you did for her clients while she was off sick. They were all very impressed with you apparently.’ When Melanie says this I manage to look up at them and see all three of them beaming at me like proud parents.

‘Now,’ Joshua says, attempting a more serious note. ‘Obviously we can’t condone you keeping us in the dark and telling us that you were acting on Lorna’s instructions when we now know that you weren’t, but… it’s obvious that you thought you were doing it all for the right reasons, not only for Mortimer and Sheedy, but for Lorna’s sake…’

‘… Which is good because, as you know, Joshua and I have always worried that the two of you didn’t get on,’ Melanie interrupts.

‘And so we, that is Lorna really but Melanie and I think it’s a great idea, have come up with a proposal for you that we hope you like.’

There’s a big pregnant pause again and this time I know that something good is coming next so I allow a smile to start to creep over my face.

‘What?’ I say. ‘What proposal?’

Joshua takes a big breath like he’s about to address a meeting and says, ‘Well, Heather is going to take up a lot of Lorna’s time from now on. And she’s going to be earning us a lot of money. Obviously there’s also Mary and Craig, who Lorna feels very passionate about. As you know, Mary has got a big break…’

‘Thanks to you,’ Lorna says, and I can’t help myself, I smile at her. It’s a strange sensation.

‘… and we need to keep up that momentum for her. Craig is going to need a lot of attention to help him rise in the ranks and Lorna feels she’d like to take the time to build up her roster some more herself, use the contacts she’s making, that kind of thing, you know?’

I nod impatiently. I daren’t speak because I don’t want to sideline him. I want him to get on with it. What proposal?

‘And, of course, Melanie and I feel that with the Heather coup she should absolutely be given the freedom to do that. So… what that means is that Lorna is not going to have time to look after the voice-over work, nor does she feel she can put her full energies into working with Jasmine or Samuel or Kathryn or, indeed, Joy. We don’t want to keep pushing them around from pillar to post, of course, but Lorna has spoken to the four of them and, given what they now know about what has been going on here over the last few weeks, they have all said that they would be delighted – in fact, in Kathryn’s case ‘ecstatic’ – to be represented by one Rebecca Morrison.’

He sits back and takes in my reaction. I know that my mouth is wide open, but I can’t remember how to shut it.

‘Obviously,’ Joshua continues, ‘four clients and arranging a few voice-overs does not quite an agent make, but we thought that maybe you wouldn’t mind being paid the same as you’re on now until we can help you build it up a bit more. Or until one of your clients gets a major highly paid contract, which, given what you did for all of them in a couple of short weeks, isn’t out of the question.’ He smiles at me warmly and I want to hug him. Luckily I contain myself.

‘Yes. I mean no. Of course I don’t mind. Really?’

‘Really,’ Melanie says. ‘We’ll have to start looking for a replacement for your old job right away, of course. We thought you and Lorna could share Kay if that’s agreeable.’

I’m not sure I believe this is really happening. ‘Absolutely. That’s if… Lorna, you’re OK with it?’

‘It was Lorna’s suggestion,’ Joshua says. ‘We just have to hope Heather’s new contract is as big as we hope it’s going to be, otherwise we’re all buggered,’ he adds laughing.

I feel sick with excitement. Suddenly I know how Lorna felt. Why she was so pleased with herself. I want to shout out of the window. ‘Look at me, I’m AN AGENT!’

‘I’m… I don’t know what to say. Thank you. Thank you so much. And I don’t care if you pay me the same forever, I just want to do the job and do it well and –’

‘Steady on,’ Melanie says. ‘Joshua will hold you to that.’

The moment over, Joshua busies himself with something on his desk and that’s our cue to leave.

‘We’ll all have a glass of champagne at the end of the day to celebrate,’ he says to our retreating backs.

Lorna is sloping back off to her office.

‘Lorna,’ I say, and she stops. ‘I’m gobsmacked. I can’t thank you enough.’

‘It’s OK. I doubt I’d still have my job if it wasn’t for you…’

‘No. It’s not OK. You didn’t have to do what you just did and I’m so grateful, so unbelievably, completely and eternally grateful.’

She smiles at me shyly again and I think what the hell and, before I really know what I’m doing, I have got her in a hug. It’s a bit like hugging a skeleton and there’s a moment when I worry that she might snap in two, but I go for it anyway. When I break away she looks flushed, but she also looks happy. It makes her look like a different person.

‘Thank you,’ she says.

‘Actually,’ I say, before I can stop myself, ‘we’re having a little Christmas do tomorrow night, me and Dan. Only a few of our friends and their kids, but if you’d like to come? Kay’s coming…’ What am I doing? Five minutes ago we hated each other, why is she going to want to come and spend time at my house?

‘Really?’ she says, and I say, ‘Absolutely.’

‘Then I’d love to.’

The next day and a half goes by in a haze of champagne drinking – first Joshua then Dan and then Isabel insist on toasting my success – and excited planning. I’m full of ideas about the heights I can take my motley crew of clients to. I’m bursting with energy, bouncing out of bed at six thirty in the morning, getting in to work by eight. I haven’t felt like this for years, since… In fact, I don’t know since what, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt like this before. Lorna continues to be friendly but reserved and, as always when people are nice to you, it’s impossible not to be friendly back. I think I’ve slightly alarmed Dan, Isabel and Kay by inviting her to our little soirée but they understand that I wanted to do something nice for her, something to show that I’m truly grateful.

Kay sets to work trying to find my replacement. Luckily Amita has accepted another position, but Kay calls the two graduates, Nadeem and Carla, and asks them if they want to come and interview for a different but surprisingly similar job, which they both nearly bite her hand off to do.

On Thursday afternoon Kay pushes me out of the door at four thirty, telling me that no one wants to eat at half past nine because I wouldn’t leave work in time to cook. The kids have finished decorating the flat and are happily dressing the table, all attempts at being too cool for school forgotten in the pre-Christmas excitement.

‘Why is Lorna so horrible?’ William asks as he’s placing the traditional angels in front of all the place settings.

‘She’s not,’ I say, and hope that for once he’ll let it be.

‘But you’re always saying she is. You told Dad she was a complete and utter bitch.’

Zoe snorts.

‘You shouldn’t be listening in on our conversations,’ I say. ‘And that wasn’t her, that was another Lorna.’

I realize as soon as I’ve said this that it’s a mistake. William is just as likely to say to Lorna, ‘Mum knows another Lorna who she says is a complete and utter bitch,’ as anything else.

‘Actually I did use to think that, but I was wrong, OK? And she’d be very, very upset if she knew that I’d said it, so don’t mention it, will you?’ I’m so confused about Lorna that I’m not sure what I actually do think about her at the moment, but I don’t want to tell him that.

‘I’m not stupid,’ he says huffily, and Zoe says, ‘No, of course you’re not,’ in a way that means he clearly is.

‘Mum…’ he whines.

I leave them to it, knowing that there’s no way they’ll have a full-blown row this evening, Not since the year Dan threatened to make them spend the evening in their rooms after they’d committed some misdemeanor or other. He’d stuck to it too until after the starter, so they’d missed everyone else pulling their crackers and comparing little gifts.

By seven the food is under control and the place is looking – and smelling – amazing. It reminds me of a fair ground, all fairy lights and garish silver and red decorations. There are scented candles in all the rooms. The mulled wine is mulling or whatever it is that it does, the Camembert is ready to bake for the appetizer, the trifle is made and the yule log that William made in Food Technology is melting quietly in the heat of the kitchen. I rush around in the bedroom, getting changed in record time, while Dan opens the wine and pours us both a big glass. At twenty past seven Kay is the first to arrive.

‘Quick, carols,’ I say to Zoe before I answer the door, and Zoe rushes over to the iPod dock. We always have carols playing when people arrive on the twenty-first.

‘Is Cruella here yet?’ Kay asks in a loud whisper as I take her through to the living room to introduce her to Dan and the kids.

‘Don’t.’

Somehow Kay – who, of course, has two sons, which might go some way to explaining it – turns out to be as much of a geek as William so they bond over talking about the discovery of some obscure star or other that has been on the news for reasons I can’t even be bothered to try to remember.

Isabel and the girls arrive next, turning up on the doorstep at the same time as Rose and Simon who have brought along their six-year-old daughter, Fabia. Their other two are both at a sleepover.

We adults drink pungent mulled wine and nibble on the little pre-dinner snacks I’ve put out, and chat about not much. Rose seems a little nervous of Isabel, given that she was the bearer of bad news about Luke, but luckily Isabel, who has good intuition, spots this and makes a big show of thanking her for saving her from making a complete fool of herself. It’s all very relaxed and friendly and Christmassy, and then the doorbell rings again and there’s Lorna clutching a bottle of wine. She hands it to me as I show her in.

‘Do come on in.’ I’m talking to her like an elderly aunt I’ve only met once before. The truth is I don’t really know how to be around her. Well, apart from defensive, hostile and suspicious that is.

‘Your flat’s looking lovely,’ she says, looking around at the decorations as I take her coat.

‘Thanks. Come through. Everybody, this is Lorna.’ You never saw a roomful of people so interested. Lorna the legend is in our home. Even Rose and Simon have been filled in on her exploits on the few occasions we’ve had dinner with them. I introduce her to everyone she doesn’t already know and she says yes to a glass of mulled wine so I leave them all to it while I go and fetch her one and check on the sausages. Isabel follows me out.

‘She’s even skinnier than the last time I saw her,’ she stage whispers.

‘I know. Oh God, was this a terrible idea, inviting her?’

‘No, of course not. It’s your good deed for the year. Only we’re not having beans with the sausages are we because I don’t think I could cope.’

‘Shh,’ I say, laughing. ‘We have to try to be nice.’

And, actually, the meal is fun. Everyone coos over their little cracker presents. I agonized over what to put in Lorna’s and, in the end, I plumped for a pink, glittery ballpoint pen because she always seems to be having to borrow biros off people’s desks at work.

‘I love it,’ she says, smiling. Yes, it’s definitely a smile. I’m getting more used to it by now; it doesn’t scare me quite so much as when it first appeared.