Fourteen (6 page)

“I’m just going to uh . . . I’m going to change.”

“You look fine, Ari . . . Anna,” he said, correcting himself.

“I look like I just got back from running. I’ll be right back. I have to get my stuff anyway.”

“I found a few volunteers,” he offered before I could take a step. “My parents and Sherri said that they’d be willing to help us out.”

“Oh. Okay. I’ll be right back.”

I hadn’t thought about why he was here, honestly. All that had been running through my mind was the fact that he was seeing me all sweaty, disgusting hair, and gross clothes; I didn’t smell too great either.

I forgot that he was here so we could work on our project. I sucked in a deep breath and took the stairs two at a time, bursting into my room. I changed as fast as I could, spritzed some perfume on. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, hoping that it looked better than when it was down. I grabbed my book bag and walked back down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen and sat down in the chair across from him.

“Did you want to read what I wrote of the paper last night?” I asked as I pulled out my books.

“Yeah, sure. Let me know what you want me to look up, too, please? I meant it when I said I want to do half of it.”

I was surprised that he was being so
nice
to me. I know that we’d seemed to have made some sort of non-verbal agreement to deal with this without ripping each other to pieces, but I was still shocked that he was keeping his word. I pulled my notes and the assignment out of my folder, sliding it across the table to him. He looked at the chair next to me and moved over, pushing his books with him and smiling awkwardly at me.

“It’s just . . . easier.”

“Yeah.”

He read over what I’d written, and I flipped back to the page with my likes and dislikes from the other day.

I think you’re beautiful.

I reached up and played with my ponytail, closing my eyes for a minute in an attempt to get rid of the memory. It wasn’t something that I was fond of, and the less I thought about it, the better off I would be.

“Your perfume smells nice,” he murmured, his eyes trained on the paper.

I looked at him, my mouth gaping open as my hand fell from my hair and slapped against the edge of the table. I winced, crying out a little when it landed on the bruises on my wrist, naturally. I pulled it against my chest, gently rubbing my fingers over it in an attempt to soothe it.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine.”

He leaned forward, and I flinched back as he reached toward me.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” he said. He stared at my wrist and looked something very close to agonized. “I will never do that again.”

I let him gently grab my fingertips and place my hand on the table between us. He carefully pushed back the sleeve of my shirt, and I blinked at him when he hissed.

“Shit, Arianna, I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered, actually sliding his hand underneath mine and wrapping his fingers around my palm. “I didn’t . . . I was running so late, and I couldn’t get anything into my locker like I should’ve and . . .” His eyes were still focused on my wrist. “You were right about everything. You were only trying to help and I—”

“Okay, listen,” I said, my voice shaking as I slid my hand away and placed both of mine in my lap. “We’ll start over, all right? We’ll forget any of this happened, and we’ll just start over.”

“I can’t just forget about this.”

“Why not? It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a big damn deal, okay? A big fucking deal because I’ve never . . . I would never touch a girl that way. I’ve been raised better than that, and I just—”

“Because it was me,” I said, looking down at the table. “And I’m supposed to be treated like shit by everyone.”

“No. No, you’re not. I had no right. None of us have any right.” He leaned forward, buried his hands in his hair, and groaned. “We shouldn’t treat
anyone
the way we’ve treated you, and it’s not fair.”

I sat, flicking my thumbnail against the bottom of the table.

“Let’s just umm . . . we should really get started on the project,” I said and grabbed the paper he’d dropped in front of him.

“Yeah, sure.” He kept his head down and his hands in his hair for a few minutes longer. I fidgeted so I didn’t feel so damned uncomfortable while he sat there, staring at the wood grains of my kitchen table.

After working for a few more hours, Dad finally arrived home and decided that he’d order pizza for dinner. I invited Evan to stay, but he declined, so we wrapped things up for the night.

Sighing, I stood up when Evan did. He slung his book bag over his shoulder. He kept his eyes down.

“I’ll walk you out,” I said. He turned on his heel.

I followed him out onto the porch.

“It’s not fair, Anna,” he whispered. “And I’m not going to do anything like that to you ever again. I’ll make sure that no one else does, either.”

I mentally scoffed before sighing and leaning against the side of the door.

“Evan, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is. No one deserves it. Least of all you.” He stepped in front of me and placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently, almost reassuringly. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

I stared after him as he walked down the steps and got into his car. He waved at me as he pulled onto the street and drove away. I was completely flabbergasted. The Evan Drake that had just left my driveway didn’t seem like the Evan Drake I’d gotten so used to seeing. He appeared to be caring and apologetic and completely unlike the guy he was in school.

I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled.

Maybe he did have some of that little boy I’d known all those years ago still inside of him.

“Anna? Are you going to just stand in front of the open door all night?” Dad called from the living room.

“Waiting for the pizza guy, Dad,” I said absently, my eyes still glued to the same spot.

“Oh. Well. Okay then.”

I rolled my eyes, closed the door behind me, and sat down on the first step. I rested my elbows on my knees and my chin in my hands while I wondered what in the hell tomorrow morning would actually be like.

“Good morning,
Anna
.”

I shrieked and nearly dropped everything as I leaned heavily against my car and rested my forehead on the roof.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I turned around when it felt like my legs no longer consisted of jelly and looked up at him.

It was wholly unnatural for someone to look that damn good in a casual outfit like jeans and a long-sleeved, red and blue striped shirt. It was wholly unnatural for someone that good-looking to be talking to me of his own free will.

“Good morning.” He smiled and hooked his thumbs around the straps of his book bag. “Did you sleep well?”

I reached up, and he eyed my hand as much as he could before I placed it on his forehead. He shook my hand off, his eyebrow raised, as I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Just making sure.”

“I feel fine,” he snapped.

“I was only joking around with you.”

His nostrils flared for a moment, and he closed his eyes briefly.

“This isn’t easy, you know.”

“Yes, I’m very much aware of how easy it
isn’t
, Evan.” I rolled my eyes and walked by him, wondering how everyone in this school was a total moron. I made it through the front door of the school before I felt his hand in the crook of my elbow, pulling me into a random classroom.

Wow. He was quick. Then again, he was on the baseball team, so that kind of made sense.

He slammed the door behind us, and I shook myself free of him and looked down at my feet.

Here it comes, Anna. I hope you weren’t really banking on having anything to do with Evan Drake for very long.

“I’ve never had to work for friends, Anna, because it never mattered to me before.”

“Why does it matter now?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

I rolled my eyes.

“If this is too hard for you, no one’s making you do anything with me or for me. I’m not a charity case, and I don’t need someone like you, parading me around for I don’t know what reason.”

“You can’t really be this dense!”

“I don’t have time for this,” I said and started to walk by him.

“You have just as much time as I do.” He grabbed my arm again and stopped me. “Come on, just cut me a little slack, and meet me halfway here.”

I looked up at him and found that his eyes were actually a very dark shade of blue. In the past, I’d only been close enough to see the basics—the slope of his nose, the curve of his mouth, the sharp angles of his jaw. I’d never gotten a chance to see the deep color of his eyes because he’d never been this close to me before, voluntarily.

The one time he was, I was too focused on the way he was crushing my wrist to register the color of his eyes.

“Sorry.” I exhaled loudly, embarrassed to find that I was having a hard time doing much of anything.

“Don’t apologize,” he whispered, and I could’ve sworn he looked down at my lips before meeting my eyes again. That didn’t make any sense. “Just . . . don’t get so pissed off at me right away, all right? I’m really trying.”

“Okay.”

“We should uh . . . what do you say to hanging out later? Today, I mean. After school.”

“Are we going to work on the project?”

“No. I mean . . . just hang out for a while. Get to . . .” He licked his lips, and my mouth went dry. “Get to know each other . . . without schoolwork and other people to worry about?”

I stared at him, doing my best not to look at his lips as he licked them again.

He
had
to stop doing that, or I was going to forget how to form complete sentences.

“Arianna?”

“Anna.”

“Right. Anna.” He shook his head sharply once. “What do you say?”

“To what?”

He gave me the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile, and I cleared my throat.

This is not good. Abort, Anna, abort!

“Yeah, sure, that’s fine.” I closed my eyes. “Where did you want to go?”

“Could we hang out at your place? My family is nosy, and bringing you home would only present questions neither of us really wants to answer.”

My heart sank, and I nodded, taking a step back from him and opening my eyes to look down at my feet again.

Of course they would. They’d want to know why Evan—as close to high school royalty as anyone else in this place could get—was bringing home someone like me without the excuse of homework.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I can meet you at the house, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there right after you.”

“We should . . . go to our lockers before the bell rings. Wouldn’t wanna be late.”

I attempted a laugh and looked up at him again. He was smiling at me, and I looked down at my feet again.

That smile was dangerous. He could’ve asked me to walk naked down the hallway, and I would’ve done it without a second thought.

This would’ve scared a number of people and possibly scarred them for life—including myself.

“No, wouldn’t want that,” he said.

I gave him a wry smile and started for the door, jumping back when he moved in front of me and pulled it open. I waited for him to walk ahead of me but looked up when he didn’t move.

He was holding the door open for me.

Evan Drake was holding the door open for
me
.

I stammered my thanks and disappeared through the door. I kept my head down and my eyes glued to the floor as I walked to my locker. The hallway was completely silent, and I heard the door to the room Evan and I had just left slam shut.

I was quick to shove my things into my locker and grab the books I needed, all but running into the classroom and collapsing onto my stool. I crossed my arms over my books and buried my head in them, trying to calm all the crazy thoughts that were swirling around in my head.

I stared at Christina from across the table as her eyes followed Vince when he left the cafeteria. We had approximately five minutes before he came back, and she’d been staring holes in my forehead the entire time he sat next to her, rambling aimlessly about something no one cared to talk about.

In fact,
everyone
had been staring at me all day. I was surprised I didn’t resemble a slice of swiss cheese at this point. I was more of a circus sideshow freak than I had been before, and I’d seriously begun to reconsider this whole let’s-be-friends thing with Evan Drake thing. So far, it wasn’t leading anywhere good.

“You spill and you do it
now
,” Christina demanded, tapping fingernails on the grey surface of the cafeteria table. Her eyes danced with excitement as she wiggled.

“There’s nothing to—”

“Don’t start with that.”

“He’s my partner for human physiology, and we were just talking about the project.”

“In an empty classroom? Alone? With the door closed and locked?”

“We wanted to talk in . . . hey.” I sat up straight and pointed at her. “What are you talking about locked?”

“Don’t think no one tried to get in, Anna.”

“He didn’t lock the door.”

“Oh, so
he
locked it, huh?”

“It wasn’t locked.”

“Yes, it was. Brittany nearly had a freaking snit fit when she couldn’t get in.”

“Why would she think she needed to get in?” I grumbled, leaning forward, and resting my chin in my hand.

“Because she’s Brittany Feldman,” Christina retorted, grabbing the orange from Vince’s tray and cradling it in her hand. “She’s a pain in the ass and has to be shoved up Evan’s for as long as possible each day.”

I snorted. “She has a pretty good reason, though. I mean, he doesn’t discourage her or anything.”

“Seriously, tell me what’s going on with you two,” she said, leaning across the table and staring to peel the skin off the orange. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“No, I know,” I said, fidgeting. “I just don’t want to jinx anything especially if he changes his mind.”

“Are you two dating?” she whispered.

“No,” I exclaimed. “He’d never be interested in me that way. Christina, come on.” I spared a glance up at her and rolled my eyes. “You know that’s not the way things work.”

“Things change, Anna. People change. If Evan got away from those idiots he calls friends, maybe you two would have a chance.”

I shifted, biting down on the inside of my cheek to keep the hope swelling up inside my chest at bay. I didn’t need to fuel the fire that shouldn’t be there in the first place.

“Don’t, Chris. Please.”

She sighed as if I’d just asked her to go stand on the roof of the school and sing the latest Lady Gaga song. She leaned back as she pulled a piece of the orange apart and popped it into her mouth.

“We’re trying to be friends. I think. I guess that’s what we’re doing?” I went back to fidgeting. “We’re hanging out tonight.”

“Where?”

“My house.” I snorted halfheartedly. “He doesn’t want to explain to his parents that we’re just hanging out and not doing homework. I guess I’m not allowed to meet his family until I’m a size two.”

Christina had her head tilted sympathetically to one side. Her jaw moved slowly as she chewed, and I sighed.

“People don’t change, Chris,” I said, trying to smile at her. “They just find new ways to work around their old personalities.”

Vince chose that moment to sit down, reclaiming his spot next to Christina and wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her against him and grinning at the both of us.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Christina blurted out

“No.” I laughed when Vince stared openly at Christina in disbelief. “We’re done.”

“You’d better give me details tomorrow,” she said, leaning against Vince’s shoulder and pointing at me.

“Yeah. Sure.” I wished that Christina was right and maybe Evan could change after being a jerk for so long.

Too bad I wasn’t dumb enough to actually believe that something like that could really happen.

I bolted from my car, barely closing the door behind me before jumping up the stairs and unlocking the door. I threw my keys on the table, chucked my book bag at the foot of the stairs, and looked around the room to make sure that it was clean.