Fox Mate (Madison Wolves) (27 page)

I turned to Elisabeth. "There are more."

"Where did these all come from?"

"I've been
making them. For years. When I quit my job, I went all over the state, and I found all the weapons I had stashed everywhere. There are a lot in my house." I looked at Elisabeth. "Your house now. You will never ever find them all. And the house has traps."

"We know about the traps."

"None of the traps are for humans. It's always silver. Get Greg's people to secure the house. Or even Benny."

She nodded.

I looked around. "There are more in this room, Elisabeth." I felt my sanity slipping, the panic surrounding me, "Lara, help me." And then I started screaming, and she crossed the room and pulled me into her arms as I screamed.

I calmed down
faster than I had been. Elisabeth was searching the room. She found a few more. I heard Rory come back, and I recognized him this time. "He can come up," I said quietly.

Together, Elis
abeth and Rory searched the bed. They missed two. They searched the dressers, missing only one. They didn't find the one inside the lamp on my nightstand. I stared at each place, suddenly remembering where I had stashed them.

"Lara, I don't remember hiding them." I told her about them, and Elisabeth found them.

"Are there more?" Elisabeth asked finally. My eyes flicked to a hiding place, I think. Elisabeth had been watching closely, but it took her and Rory ten minutes to find it.

"Good god," he said.

"Search the bathroom and the closet again," I said.

They found one more mixed in the towels in the bathroom linen closet and about half the ones in the closet.

I shrugged Lara off and walked to the closet. I found them all, or so I thought. I let my body tell me where they were, paying attention whenever my eyes flicked somewhere.

Finally I walked back out and stared at the pile of weaponry.

"The rest of the house is just as bad," I said dully. "And Lara, the woods are worse. I don't remember hiding them. I don't remember buying most of them."

I turned to Elisabeth. "I don't know how much of my money is really left. I used to spend all my free money on silv
er. I don't know if I did it recently."

I took a breath. Lara began to cross the room to me, but I held my hand out. I stood there, trying to think.

"I think that's all," I said. "In these rooms." I tried to think. "I don't know about the other rooms up here. The main floor, the basement. More, lots more."

I crossed over to the bed, began making it after Lara and Rory had torn it apart. Lara came to help, but I hissed her off. I made the bed, then crawled into it. I was suddenly exhausted, and I fell asleep even before Elisabeth and Rory had taken all my knives away.

The nightmares started right away. I was helpless, and Lara wouldn't save me. She gave me to them, and she wouldn't save me.

Angel was laughing, and the world was spinning, and I felt my bones break as Angel twisted, Scarlett laughing, all the girls laughing and Elisabeth's voice telling me she wanted my house.

And round and round it all went.

Lara was already clutching me to her chest when the screams started.

"Oh god, honey, I'm so sorry," she said while I screamed.

"You didn't save me! You didn't save me! You let them have me! Oh Lara, you promised I was safe, and they took me from your arms!"

I shoved away from her, but she clutched me to her.

Then Elisabeth was in the room again and the two of them held me to the bed while I struggled and fought. They both tried speaking soothingly.

"Call Vivian," I heard Lara say.

"No!" I said. "Not her!"

"Call her," Lara said.

One pair of hands released me, but the other pair held me even more strongly, and then I felt Lara's body pressing me
into the bed, pinning me.

"Calm down,
Little Fox," she said. "Please calm down."

"Don't call Vivian!"

"Why not?" she asked calmly. "She'll help you."

"She wants me to tell you my secrets. She's too smart, she knows my secrets! She knows I have secrets. She wants me to tell you. Oh god! I wasn't going to tell you!"

"Oh honey," she said. "You can trust me."

"You don't tell me your secrets! You don't get mine! They are mine, they're all I have now."

I thrashed, but she held me, and I knew I couldn't get loose.

"Vivian," I heard Lara say. "This is the alpha."

"No! No! No! No!"

"As you can hear, we have a problem," Lara said.

"I'm on my way," I heard Vivian reply.

"Noooooo!"

"Bring sedatives," Lara told her.

I started sobbing, and then I couldn't breath
e, Lara pressing against me, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe.

But she
held me more tightly, and I sobbed.

She rocked me, I don't know how long, and I slept, but when I slept, she woke me. And I looked up. Her face was so full of fear.

Lara was never afraid, but she was afraid. Of. Me.

But Elisabeth was there, too, and I couldn't fight them both, I couldn't hurt them both, they were
too big.

But there was another dagger, if I could get to it.

And then I was lucid, for just a moment.

"Elisabeth, there's another dagger. It's in the wall, behind the drywall, above the cold air return. You can't reach it, there is a small gap, just big enough for my fist."

"Through the cold air return?" she asked. I nodded.

"It's safe there for now," she said. "We'll get it out later."

"Kaylee could reach it," I said. "But you can't let her near me. I might hurt her like that other wolf I hurt."

And then I was gone again, keening.

They rocked me gently.

I heard a car drive up, and I went still.

"It's her," I said in a dead voice. "Lara, don't let her in. I have to talk to you first. You too, Elisabeth. She's evil!"

"Shh," Lara said.

"Talk first!"

"All right," Lara said. "We'll talk first."

The door opened downstairs.

"Vivian!" Lara yelled. "Wait five minutes."

"Yes, Alpha," she hollered back.

"You have five minutes," Lara said. "Then she's coming up."

I looked into Lara's eyes.

"I can't marry you."

"Oh Little Fox."

"Shhh. I can't marry you. I'm crazy. You can see, I'm crazy. You can't marry someone who is crazy, Lara. The alpha can't marry a crazy woman."

"You're not crazy," she said. "Vivian will tell you-"

"I'm crazy, and you know it," I said. "Who hides weapons like I did? Who stabs her lover without recognizing her?"

"Shhh," Lara said. "We'll fix this. This is just a bad reaction to last night."

"No!" I said. "I've been hiding weapons here for months, Lara."

I looked at Elisabeth. "Tell her, she can't marry me."

Elisabeth didn't say anything.

I turned back to Lara. "Vivian won't let you, the council won't let you, she'll take one look and know I'm crazy, and she won't let you."

"Shh," Lara said. "We can fix this."

I closed my eyes.

"Lara, she'll put me in a cage."

Neither of them responded. It was true.

"I am me now. Listen to me, Lara, I am me right now. I wasn't before, but I am me now. Aren't I?"

"I don't know," she said finally, searching my face.

"Listen to me. You can't let her put me in a cage. I can't do that!
"

I looked around wildly, then calmed again. "I was safe here, but I'm not." I looked at Elisabeth. "I thought I was safe, but you took my house, but my house wasn't safe, either, or I wouldn't have needed all those traps."

I turned back to Lara. "You both love me, don't you?"

"Yes, honey."

"Elisabeth, do you love me?"

"Yes,
Little Fox, I love you."

"But you love your sister more, don't you? That's how it should be."

"Yes, I love you, but I love Lara more."

"Good. Then you have to promise me, you won't let me hurt Lara."

She didn't answer.

"Promise me, Elisabeth. You won't let me hurt Lara. Please, Elisabeth, promise me."

"I won't let you hurt Lara more than she can take, Michaela. That's the best promise I'll give you."

"All right," I said. I turned to Lara. "Promise me. No cage."

"Michaela."

"No cage!" I screamed it. "Promise!" My entire body stiffened, almost on the edge of
madness.

"No cage," Lara said. "I promise."

I collapsed back into her arms. She reached with a hand and soothed my damp face.

"Don't let Vivian take me away. Promise."

"I might have to."

"No! Promise!"

"Michaela,"

"She'll put me in a cage, Lara. You just promised no cage. Promise, you won't let her take me."

"I won't let her take you," Lara said. "I promise."

I took a breath. "I thought I was safe, but clearly I didn't think I was safe. Lara, I can't live like that anymore. One more promise, and I'll let Vivian come up, and I'll do whatever you tell me."

"What is it?"

"If you can't fix this, or if the only way to keep me safe
is a cage, you have to snap my neck."

"Oh god, no,
Little Fox, I'm not promising that!"

"I can't run anymore, I'm so tired of running. Please, Lara. If you love me, you'll be gentle. You can put your hand over my mouth, like this." And I took her hand, and pressed it against my mouth and nose. She snatched it away. "And I promise I won't struggle. My eyes will watch yours, and you know I'll be thanking you for saving me, one more time."

She started to cry.

"And after I'm asleep, you will snap my neck, and I will never know."

"No!" Lara wailed. "No!"

"You have to promise. Lara you have to. I can't do this anymore. You have to save me from myself."

"No!"

"Elisabeth, then you."

"No, Little Fox," she said. "You know I can't. It would destroy Lara, and she would kill me and everyone else around. You are her mate, whether or not the ceremony has happened."

"Lara, you have to promise," I said. "If you can't fix this you have to promise."

"We'll fix this," she said, tears running down her cheeks.

"If we don't, then you do it my way. No cages, no taking me away. Fix me or let me sleep and snap my neck. Promise. Promise. Promise!"

"All right," Lara said in defeat. "But we'll fix it."

And with that last promise, I smiled.

"Call Vivian," I said, suddenly calm.

"Vivian!" Lara said. "Please come."

I heard a chair creak downstairs then footsteps on the staircase.

"Vivian," I called out. "Come in slowly."

"Is she holding a weapon?" Vivian asked.

"No," said Elisabeth. "We took them all away."

"Not all," I said. "There are more."

"But none close," Elisabeth said. "Are there?"

I smiled at her. "None I remember."

Vivian appeared in the doorway. She took in the tableau, then looked pointedly first at Elisabeth then Lara. "I'll talk to you two later," she said sternly.

Then she looked at me, and her expression softened considerably. "You look better than you sounded earlier, Michaela." She was carrying a little black bag like the doctors in some television shows.

"I am lucid for now," I said. "It's not going to last."

"Oh honey," said Lara.

"Vivian, do you want me to trust you?"

"Yes."

"If you trick me, I won't trust you."

"No tricks."

"Promise."

"I promise, no tricks. I can guess what happened, Michaela."

"Yes, so can I. I'm crazy."

"No, you're not. You had a breakthrough. I've been waiting for it."

I stared at her. "Can you cure me?" I asked in a small voice.

"I don't know. Tell me. Are you remembering things you didn't remember before?"

"Yes, but there's more
in there somewhere, isn't there?"

"I think so. I don't know how much. I think a lot. Honey, I don't think this all started when you were fourteen."

"I know," I said. "But I don't remember what."

"My bones are old, Michaela. May I sit down?"