Fractured & Formidable: The Sacred Hearts MC Book V (10 page)

Revelator…

Mandy’s bed sucked. I couldn’t get comfortable but it didn’t
much matter to me when we were pressed close and warm between her crisp cotton
sheets, her head cradled on my shoulder and her delicate fingertips tracing
patterns on my skin, well, tracing the letters of some of the script across my
ribs. It was dark but it was still early yet. Only like seven, which I guess
was late for my Red because she had been fighting back yawns for like twenty
minutes now.

“What’s your real name?” she asked me quietly. I smiled into
the dark.

“John Marcus Alexander.”

I felt her lips curve against my chest before she said, “I
knew it was a nickname too, Zander I mean, Mandy isn’t my name either,” she
confessed.

“No?”

“Mm-mm. Autumn Amanda Price.”

I laughed softly and she smiled wider, I could hear it in
her voice when she asked, “What!?”

“That’s how I’ve always thought of you,” I admitted,
“Between your eyes and hair, I always kind of thought of you as the embodiment
of the season, my goddess of Fall. My girl with eyes the color of turning
leaves and hair to match.” I kissed her forehead as she laughed at me.

“Really?” she asked when I didn’t join in.

“Really.”

We were silent for the longest time and I thought she may
have fallen asleep but then her voice crept out into the dark.

“Not sure I deserve that,” she said, but her body told me
how much the sentiment meant to her. Her leg coming over mine, her soft form
pressing closer in the dark. I put my hand on her nude thigh just above her
knee, and brought it up higher to rest more comfortably on my body. I loved how
she twined around me like ivy.

I didn’t dignify what she’d said with a response, instead I
simply smoothed my hand over every place on her I could reach; stroking over
her satiny skin until her breathing fell off, deepening and evening out with
sleep. I didn’t think I would be getting much, her bed was a serious piece of
shit, something meant for a guest room, and not for a grown up. I mean shit it
was a Full, for one and a coil mattress for another. My bed back at the club
was too but at least I threw a memory foam pad on it which did a hell of a lot
more than I realized.

She’d tried dressing for bed but I’d won that veto and her
nude body against mine… damn I wanted her all over again but I was betting she
needed a day or two before I took her. I tried not to think too hard about the
blood. There had been more of it than I remembered from the last time I’d
popped a girl’s cherry. Everybody was different I suppose. I still couldn’t
believe she was mine, and only mine. There was something incredibly appealing
about that when it came to my caveman brain. That mine was the only cock that’d
been in her.

I drifted off eventually, the cadence of Red’s breathing a
soothing sound, like waves on a shore, or rainfall from the sky. I jolted awake
to her moving around in the dark the next morning.

“What the hell!? Come back to bed Red,” I groaned. She
giggled.

“I can’t, I have to go to work,” she bent over the bed and
zipped up her boot. She kissed me a quick press of lips in the dark and I
reached for her but she dodged. I sighed and it wasn’t at all happy.

“Fucking retail holiday,” I cursed and she huffed a quiet
laugh in my direction.

“Sorry I woke you up. Go back to sleep and come see me
later?” she asked.

“I’ll bring you lunch,” I promised and she made a soft noise
of agreement. I’m glad she liked the idea of it. I turned over in her bed and
closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep but her bed sucked and it was weird
being here without her. I lay still and I guess it hadn’t been as weird as I
thought, or I was just that tired because the room was lit with a watery gray
light through the curtains the next time I opened my eyes. I groaned and got
up, stretching.

I pulled on my boxer briefs and some cargo shorts. I wore
shorts year round, even in the snow. At most I would put some long johns on
under ‘em. Don’t ask me why. Just been doing it since I was a kid. Once I
figured I was decent I went to take a leak. I ran into Dray in the hall when I
came out of the bathroom and he eyed me blearily, rubbing the sleep from one of
his eyes.

“You fuckin’ Mandy?” he asked by way of greeting. I grinned
and he frowned, “Be out in a minute. Go make some coffee or something.”

I went into the kitchen. Not because he’d told me to but
because I needed a hit of caffeine myself.  I listened to Dray take a piss and
the toilet flushed and shook my head at how paper thin the walls were in his
old, but well-kept, house. He washed his hands, the blast of water from the
sink taking a while, probably waiting for it to heat up some.

While he went about his business, I went about mine.
Measuring out coffee from the canister into the French press next to it, all
the while looking around for the coffee maker. I figured it must be an Everett
thing because there wasn’t one in sight even though I knew he’d had one. I
started up the burner on the gas stove and filled the old fashioned whistling
teakettle at the sink. Dray came around the corner as I put it on the cooktop
over the licking blue gas flame.

“What happened to the coffee maker?” Dray made a face.

“My woman. Don’t change the subject.” He placed palms flat
against the countertop and leaned in, fixing me with his dark eyes. I raised an
eyebrow and a funny look crossed his face.

“What’re you looking at me that way for?” he asked.

“Did you know she was a virgin?” I asked him and he looked
surprised.

“No shit!?”

“No shit.”

“I knew she didn’t get much play but I thought she had at
least had
some
. Now I really want to know what you’re gonna do.” He
crossed his arms.

“Dude, relax. I know you’ve known me a long time and I know
I haven’t exactly been the committed type either, but Red’s different. She’s not
the kind you love and leave.” I crossed my arms too, which was a bit awkward
with how big I’d gotten.

“She’s like a sister to Em and I’m not gonna lie, after her
bein’ here almost a year, she’s like the little sister I never had. She’s a
sweet girl and deserves good things,” he fixed me with a hard stare as he spoke
and held it long after he’d finished. I didn’t intimidate easy so the whole
hard assed routine was sort of lost on me. In this particular case it was a
totally wasted effort. We were on the same page.

“I didn’t know about the whole virgin thing; had I known I
would have done a hell of a lot better than my fuckin’ room at the club. I have
no intention of one and done with Red, she’s not disposable pussy man. Never
was ‘n never will be. I’m surprised she let me, to be honest.” I shook my head
and ran my hand back through my hair.

We had a tense standoff for a few seconds, well, Dray did
anyways. The teakettle started shrieking into the silence. I was caught between
wanting to reassure my friend and VP that I had nothing but the best intentions
where Red was concerned and wanting to knock his teeth in for suggesting
anything otherwise. I settled for taking the damn kettle off the stove and
pouring the hot water into the damn glass carafe of the French press.

“Got any plans for tonight?” Dray asked and the tension
eased marginally. The subject changing.

“Promised Red I’d bring her by some lunch. I figured I would
see if I could get her to come home with me tonight. I want to spend some time
with her,” I rolled my eyes at the look he was giving me, “I want to get to
know her asshole! Talk about what happened at her folks.”

“Yeah. Had a talk with Em about that last night. She filled
me in, reluctantly and only a little bit but it was enough,” Dray sighed. I
pressed the coffee and poured two cups. Something about using a French press
made it come out richer, the coffee taking on a velvety texture and whatever
the shit was that Irish bought, it was fuckin’
good!
It was also a kick
in the pants. I was awake. For sure.

“What do you eat for breakfast? Ain’t you training?” he
asked. I nodded and rattled off my morning diet.

“You’re on your own. That’s disgusting,” he stated flatly.

“And that’s why you’ll never be as cut as me,” I said
saluting him with my coffee. He snorted and I sat in long contemplation of the
flowers I’d bought Red which rested on the kitchen counter between us. We’d
forgotten them at the club all together the night before. I felt a wicked smile
curve my lips as I went back to
why
it was so easy to forget about ‘em.

Dray’s voice interrupted my thoughts, “We got something
going on tonight. Take Red home with you, keep her at your place,” he said I
felt an eyebrow go up.

“The way you say that sounds like an order from my VP.”

“It is,” he said and took another swallow of his coffee, “Me
and some of the guys are going out for a little retribution for your place of
business.”

“In that case, oh Hell no you ain’t going without me!” the
coffee mug in my hand made a sharp sound against the counter when I set it
down.

“You need to stay clean for the fight next month. Trigger is
in on this, you stay home with your woman where she can front you an alibi if
the cops happen to come sniffin’ around. We both want and need you in that
ring,” Dray gave me a pointed look and I felt suspicion take hold.

“Why? What you got riding on this fight?” I asked. Dray
grinned.

“Club needed some revenue after membership was on life
support for so long, Dragon took a vote. We’re placing the last few months of
dues on a bet on you my man,” I looked over, amused.

“That so?” I asked.

“Yep. So stay clean, fight hard and don’t fuck up. Whole
club is counting on you,” he gave me this shit eating grin.

“No pressure,” I grumbled but felt a matching grin of my own
take over my face. “So what’re you guys up to tonight anyways?” I asked.

Dray shook his head, “Plausible deniability bro,” he said
and I nodded. Yeah I knew the drill. I didn’t have to like it though. My memory
shifted, drifting back to the summer lake run and of Shelly’s pale and haunted
face, lip busted wide open, lap draped in a random sheet as she shivered with
shock in the cabin’s small dining room. Of the tortured and torn look on
Ghost’s face as he realized what was what and the incredible guilt that had
swamped him as he’d taken the blame all on himself. I shook my head to clear
it.

“Whatever you do, make it count,” I said and locked eyes
with Dray, “Make it
hurt.
” He nodded and nothing else needed to be said.
I went back into Red’s room and felt a fine burning rage take hold in my chest.
I ripped my shirt over my head and onto my body and pulled on my All-Stars. I
needed to hurt something. My anger was out of its box and burning me up from
the inside out and only one or two things would take the edge off it at this
point.

I needed to plow my fist into another dude’s face or work
myself out so hard my limbs felt like overused rubber. There
was
a third
option back in the day and that had been some hard and punishing sex, but I
wouldn’t do that to Red and I wasn’t ever going to be the man to satisfy that
particular urge with anyone else ever again. The nameless faceless parade of
sluts and the occasional hooker was a thing of the past now that Red was in the
picture. I just didn’t want ‘em anymore. I just wanted her. Her, and to hurt
every last motherfucker in a Suicide Kings cut that wanted to beef with me or
any one of my brothers.

Yeah. That sounded about right.

Mandy…

I was half afraid Zander would stand me up. The potential of
him disappearing after last night… Well I tried valiantly to banish the thought
from my head, but the anxiety just kept creeping back in. I was hard at work in
my kitchen and Soul Fuel was so incredibly busy! As soon as the first hour had
gone by and I saw what we were selling the most of, I immediately started in
making more of them. Just when it looked like we were going to run out of the
truffles I completed a double batch, which was in all reality a double batch of
what was a
quadruple
batch of my grandparent’s original recipe.

“Mandy-girl!” Zeb called from the doorway in his rich and
melodic accent.

“Yes?” I asked looking up from the marble countertop I was
scraping fine curls of chocolate off of for decorating purposes.

“Someone to see you girl,” he said and my heart leapt. I
felt my breath catch in my throat as he stepped aside and where I thought I
would see Zander, my mother stood wringing the strap of her handbag between her
hands.

“Mom!” I cried astonished and wiped my hands on my apron.
She rarely went anywhere without daddy and I ran my tongue nervously over the
slight split in my lip from yesterday.

“Oh, um, I’m here by myself,” she said and asked, “May I
come in?”

“Of course!” I stepped around the counter and pulled two
stools out from under its top. I got up on one while my mom hopped up on the
other.

“Are you okay?” she asked me quietly after the silence had
dragged out for a moment or two. I smiled.

“Absolutely.”

“That boy who came to the house yesterday…” I smiled in
spite of myself.

“Zander? He’s not a boy mom, he’s like ten years older than
I am!” she searched my face, worried.

“Is he in a gang?” she asked.

“Nope, The Sacred Hearts is a club. Not a gang.”

My mother and I both turned sharply at the sound of Zander’s
voice in the kitchen doorway. He stood in his typical style of long shorts and
a sleeveless shirt under his black leather vest, a couple of full, brown paper
bags in his large hands. He padded into my kitchen on those soft rubber-soled
red canvas high tops of his and set the bags on the counter between me and my
mom, one of his massive arms circled my waist and he stood hip to hip with me,
turning those chocolate caramel colored eyes of his on my mother, searching her
face.

“He touch you after I left?” he asked her and my mother
blanched and shook her head. I put a hand on my mother’s arm.

“It’s okay mom. Zander’s a good guy,” I smiled a reassuring
smile.

“John Alexander,” he said, holding out a hand to my mother.

“Melinda Price,” she made to shake Zander’s hand but at the
last second, he turned it in his grasp with that devil may care smile of his
and kissed my mom’s knuckles like some kind of old fashioned gentleman.

“Oh my!” My mother laughed and smiled and put a hand to her
chest flustered.

“Mom just got here,” I murmured.

“Want me to come back later?” he asked, eying us both. I
smiled and shook my head, my mother smiled too.

“No, that’s all right John, please stay.” She shot me a
questioning look and Zander grinned.

“Look, I’m real sorry we had to be introduced like this
after yesterday going down the way it did,” he had the grace to look
embarrassed, “But, I’m not sorry I said anything that I said to your husband
and I mean it. He touches you or Mandy again I’ll be there.”

I fixed my eyes on my mother’s wedding set where it sparkled
under the kitchen light.

“Jim’s not normally like that… I think he was…”

“Mom stop! It’s okay, you don’t have to make excuses for him
anymore!” I rubbed my forehead, “I’m not anyways… Dad’s been like that my whole
life and the older I get the
worse
he gets. I just wish I knew why he
hated me so darn much.” My mother looked positively heartbroken in that
instant.

“Oh Mandy-girl, oh Baby, he doesn’t hate you honey… he hates
me
.” She took my hands in hers.

“
Why,
Mom?” I asked, desperate for an answer to the
question that had been plaguing me since I was a child. “And
why
would he
disown me like that?” I stared at her and let the pleading look on my face
finish doing the talking for me. My mother’s face collapsed into lines of
sorrow and the din from out in the shop lessened by half. We turned, Everett
leaning on the inside of the closed kitchen door.

“Hello Everett dear,” my mother said, ever so polite.

“Hi Mrs. Price,” Everett smiled but it was watered down.

“Perhaps some privacy would be best for this,” my mother
tried, but failed. I shook my head. 

“Mom, Everett is family as sure as anything and Zander…” I
looked at him and he gave me a crooked smile.

“Mrs. Price I’ve loved your daughter for a while now and I’d
really like to be here for her if it’s all right with you,” he said and my
mother’s look softened.

“You have to understand it was a long time ago,” my mother
said and sniffed. Everett went over to the paper towel dispenser and ripped two
out, bringing them over to my mom.

“Thank you,” my mother said and dabbed at her eyes.

“Mom, just
tell me,
please?” I pleaded. She took a
fortifying breath and let it out slowly.

“I’m so sorry Baby Girl. I cheated on your father, before
you were born and the man I was unfaithful with…” she rolled her lips and I
blinked and swallowed hard.

“You what?” I asked and my voice sounded hollow. Zander’s
arms tightened around me where I sat. I stared at my mother in stony silence
while I tried to process what she was saying.

“He was a high school sweetheart of mine. Your father and I,
our marriage was in trouble and… He was a member of our church and a good man.
When we all three saw what it was doing to Jim and I’s marriage, when the guilt
became too much… David left and then I found out I was pregnant and we couldn’t
be sure and then you were born and…” Everett put her arms around my mother,
heck
our
mother and hugged her as she dissolved into sobs. I swallowed
hard, unsure how to feel right this second but no matter what mistakes were
made, and by whom… I slipped off the stool I was perched on and Zander let me
go, my arms going around my mother.

“I love you mom,” I sniffed and held her tight. I would not
cry.

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out somehow,” I murmured but I
wasn’t sure
how
you figured something like this out, I mean… holy geeze!
Wow. I looked at Everett over my mom’s head and I think she looked as poleaxed
as I felt. Zander’s hand was a warm, comforting weight at the small of my back
as he lent me silent strength from behind.

“I think your whole family needs to talk, Red,” he said and
my mother nodded emphatically.

“Come on Sunday?” my mother asked hopefully.

“Daddy doesn’t want me there,” I said exasperated, playing
our last exchange over in my mind.

“No, he does, I’m certain of it. He went to the church after
you left, to pray for guidance. When he came home we had a good talk. At his
heart, your father is a good and decent man Mandy – “

I scoffed, I couldn’t help myself and I stared up into one
of the kitchen light fixtures.

“He is!” my mother insisted and I dropped my eyes back down
to hers.

“I need to think about all of this,” I said softly and she
nodded.

“If she does come, she’s not going alone,” Zander said
dispassionately. My mother nodded.

“I’ll go with her,” Everett told him and I cut in.

“I’m here, I’m right here! And
if
I decide to go,
you’d best set the table for six because I’m not coming without Zander, Evy and
Dray.”

I shook, I loved my mother, I loved her very much but this
was a lot to process. I never in a million years suspected that what my father
had said the day before was something he meant
literally
and not just
figuratively. I stepped back from my mom and wiped my nose with the back of my
hand.

Whatever, my dad was a jerk at home. I’d known this for a
very long time and now it all made sense, the tumblers all falling into place
now that I had the key bit of information to turn in the lock that was the
whole mess. Still, so many questions ran rampant through my mind and before I
could stop them, some of them came pouring out of my mouth.

“Why did you
stay
with him!? How could you let him
do
that to us?” I shivered and Zander stepped in front of me and pulled me
against him. He was so warm whereas I felt chilled. I stared at my mom from
over his shoulder and felt a couple of tears get loose.

“I stayed because I made a commitment to your dad under the
eyes of God, in the house of God, Baby. I took my vows seriously…” I scoffed
again and my mother flinched and I instantly felt bad, I wanted to be angry at
my mother and I was, but most of the anger and yes, even hatred that twisted in
my heart was reserved for my… I didn’t even know what to call him anymore. A
sob tore from my chest and Zander clutched me tighter against his chest.

“You should probably go,” he said. “We’ll be there on Sunday
to sort this shit out, right now she needs time to get through all this,” I let
him hold me and I let him handle it. I didn’t want to handle it anymore. My
mother was silent and cried as Everett took her out of the kitchen. Zander sat
me back up on my stool but kept his hold on me. He leaned back and palmed the
side of my face gently, smoothing his thumb through a track of moisture on my
cheek.

“God you got a brass pair,” he muttered and pulled me into a
hug with a sigh.

I rasped a laugh and asked, “What!?”

“Takes a whole lot of shit blowing up in your face to make
you cry and even then, one or two tears and you’re done.” He kissed the side of
my neck through my hair. I sniffed and wiped under my eyes.

“Crying, in my house growing up, was just something you
simply didn’t do,” I said honestly and it was as if my heart gave a sigh of
relief at the burden that was lifted from it. No more secrets, Thank God. Everett
came back in the kitchen.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey. Who’s got the front?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about that right now, okay? How are you doing?”
she asked.

“I’ll be okay,” which was true, there were worst things in
life weren’t there? I went to the sink automatically and washed my hands.

“Brought lunch,” Zander said dryly, but he was watching me
intently.

“Not very hungry now,” I murmured and he nodded. Lexie, one
of our part time counter girls, pushed through the kitchen door.

“Sorry Everett, need some help, another rush just came in.
It’s either you or Zeb.” Her long blonde ponytail slipped over her shoulder,
her blue eyes uncertain at the mention of the Sacred Heart brother out there.

“I’m coming, Lexie,” Ev said with a smile and then she
turned her steely blues on Zander, jabbing a sharp finger in his direction.

“You take care of my girl!” she crowed.

“Plan on it,” he said dryly but he was talking to the
swinging kitchen door. He turned contemplative eyes on me. I sighed and shook
my head.

“It’ll be all right,” I said and he gave me that
smile
,
suffusing me with warmth.

“That’s my line, Sugar.” He sat up on the stool I’d vacated.
I tried to make light of things and stuck my tongue out at him.

“Well consider it stolen.”

I returned to curling chocolate shavings with my painter’s
knife from the marble countertop to Zander’s booming laughter. I smiled faintly
to myself but I could feel the tension between my shoulder blades and in my
upper back as I reeled on the inside from the implications of what my mother
had told me.

Before I knew it I found myself praying on it, struggling to
come to terms with an entire childhood… twenty-one years! Of lies. I missed my
daddy from when I was a child. The one who held my hand as we crossed the
parking lot. The one that rode the teacups in Disney World with me, laughing,
when I was six. I missed my dad when he was a
dad
. Before I started to
grow into my own and I guess he started to see more of this David person in me
than himself.

Large, gentle hands plucked the knife from my shaking
fingers and Zander pulled me into a gentle hold. He murmured soothing things
against the side of my neck while I stared sightless at the hardening
chocolate. I let him sooth me a moment more and pulled back gently.

“I need to finish before it gets too hard for me to curl.”

“Okay babe. I’m going to make a quick call out front, that
cool with you?” he asked. I nodded, smoothing my palms over the rough canvas of
my apron.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, back in a minute,” he kissed me, a quick soft press
of his mouth to mine and one I gratefully returned.

“I apologize!” I blurted when he opened the kitchen door, he
froze.

“For what?” he asked.

“For leaning on you so hard the last few days, that you’ve
suddenly found yourself tangled up in all my problems when I know you’re still
dealing with your business and the club and all of that.” He let the door
close.

“Sugar, there’s no place I’d rather be than here helping
you. I’m glad I showed up when I did…
both times,
” he smiled, his eyes
so warm and sweet as they looked me over.

“Thank you,” I murmured softly. He nodded.

“Be right back.” He gave me one more long considering look.

“Dis is stayin’ at his boyfriend’s place tonight. Come home
with me,” he said abruptly. I thought about it a second and nodded.

“I’d like that, I think.”

“Good. Settled then. Back in a sec,” he disappeared through
the door and I hoped that Everett would understand. A half second later she
slipped into the kitchen as if my thought had conjured her by magic.