Fractured Light (23 page)

“Thanks, Llona.”

After planning to go to a movie on Saturday, we said our good-byes. I walked into the living room and found Sophie standing with her suitcases.

“Are you leaving already?” I asked.

“I’m afraid it’s that time. Will you please seriously consider coming to Lucent when you graduate?”

“I will, I promise.”

“Good. Now give me a hug. I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit again.”

“It was good to see you. I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.” She turned to Jake who was eating in the kitchen. “You’re doing a great job. I mean it. Thank you for everything.”

Shocked, Jake quickly wiped milk from his upper lip. “No big deal. Have a safe trip.”

After she closed the door, Jake said, “That was weird.”

“The last two days were weird,” I added, thinking I never wanted to do it again. But little did I know there would come a time in my not-too-distant future when I’d wish to go back to those strange moments with Sophie. For there I was safe.

M
ONDAY MORNING
I
FOUND
C
HRISTIAN WAITING FOR ME AT
my locker.

“How was your Thanksgiving?” he asked.

“Full of giving thanks. Yours?” I avoided direct eye contact. It still hurt to look at him.

“Fine.”

I removed the books from my bag while trying to ignore Christian who seemed to be struggling to say something.

Finally he blurted, “Sorry we haven’t really talked lately. I’ve been pretty busy with football.”

“No problem.” I closed my locker. “I’ve been busy too.”

“Are you going to the football rally on Friday?”

“Out at Deer Lake?” I turned to walk toward class. Christian followed.

“Yeah. We never did anything like that at my last school.”

I swung my backpack over my shoulder. “I moved here just after last year’s rally so I didn’t go, but I hear it’s fun.”

“So are you going to go?”

“Not sure.”

“It’s supposed to be really cold, possibly even snow. I doubt a lot of people will be there.”

I was getting the distinct impression he didn’t want me to come. “Are you going?” I asked.

“Coach is making us. It’ll probably be lame.”

“Maybe I’ll come to find out.”

Christian’s left eye twitched. “I’d stay home if I were you. I’ll tell you all about how boring it is after. Maybe I could take you out to dinner on Saturday to fill you in?”

This was getting annoying. “We’ll see. I have to go to class.” I walked off before he could stop me.

I’d been looking forward to math class all weekend. At first it was unsettling how spacey I became around Mr. Steele, but during the last several weeks, his class became the one place where I thought about nothing else. Today was no different. The moment I stepped foot into the room, Mr. Steele became my focus. I wish I could say I was focused on what he was teaching, but all I could concentrate on was him: the way his body moved, the way words fell from his perfectly shaped lips. It was all so mesmerizing. I always thought I was above all this prepubescent lovesick crap, but obviously I wasn’t.

Before I knew it, the bell rang. Miraculously I managed to tear my eyes away from Mr. Steele long enough to gather my books and put them into my backpack.

“Llona?” Mr. Steele asked.

My heart stopped. I looked up, too stunned to speak.

“Could you stay for a minute? I need to talk to you.”

I felt myself nod. I remained seated, just staring.

After all the other students exited the room, Mr. Steele sat next to me holding a folder.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

It took me a second to answer. “I’m good.”

“Life at home, is it good?’

“Yeah.”

“You live with your uncle, right?” He was tapping his fingers on the folder in front of him.

“Yes.”

“You have a good relationship with him?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He opened the folder.

“I probably don’t have to tell you this, but your math grade is low.”

“How low?”

He frowned. “To the point where you might not pass my class.”

I sunk into the seat.

“I’ve been lenient this far because I know how well you did last year, and how well you’re doing in all your other classes. I was hoping you’d catch on and be able to raise your grade, but it’s not looking that way. Do you have someone who could help you? Your uncle perhaps?”

I nodded.

“Good because you only have a few weeks left to bring your grade up.” He handed me a stack of papers. “If you complete these, I’ll give you extra credit. That should help.”

“Thank you,” I said, feeling very embarrassed.

He stood up. “If you ever need to talk about anything, have any questions, whatever, you come see me, okay?” He patted my back and disappeared down the hall.

I slowly gathered the papers and stuffed them into my bag. I could still feel the warm pressure of his hand against my back.

“What are you still doing in here?” May asked when she saw me from the hallway.

“Mr. Steele basically just told me I’m failing. I guess I’m still in shock.”

She cringed. “I was hoping this was going to be easy.”

“What?”

“I have something to tell you. Sorry it has to be more crappy news, but you need to know.”

“What?”

May sat down and took a big breath. “First, the girls who were with Christian and Adam at the corn maze—they’re just friends. In fact, I found out one of them has a boyfriend.”

“That’s not bad,” I said, confused.

“No, it’s good. Actually, I meant to tell you that after the bad news, but I couldn’t help myself.” She grinned and then shook her head, bringing back her serious expression. “So the last few weeks, Christian has been harassing me about that night.”

This took me by surprise. “He has? Why?”

“I guess after we left, he inspected the area and found some bone in the remains of the fire. He said he knew we were lying. Every day he’s been bugging me about it and so, when he came to my house yesterday—”

“On Sunday?”

“Yeah. Anyway, I guess I just cracked. He was really putting on the pressure. I didn’t know what to do.”

“So you told him?”

“All I told him was that someone was playing a prank on you and shaved your name into a dead dog.”

“How did you explain the fire?”

“I said I dropped a match on it. Of course he wanted to know why I’d done that, and I just told him you were embarrassed and didn’t want anyone to see it.”

Moaning, I dropped my head onto the desk. “Is that it?” I asked.

“Almost. He wanted to know how you found the dog.”

I lifted my head. “What did you tell him?’

She shrugged. “Nothing. How did you, anyway?”

“I guess I just sensed it.”

“I’m really sorry I told him.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“Not at you.”

“At Christian?”

“Why is it any of his business anyway? He’s been acting really strange lately and it’s really starting to irk me. This morning he was trying to convince me not to go to the rally on Friday.”

“He was? Why?”

“Another one of the many things I don’t know.”

“But you have to come. It’ll be so fun,” she said.

“Oh, I’ll be there. I’m not letting Christian ruin anything.”

The night of the big pep rally on Deer Lake had arrived. It had been the perfect day. The weather had been crappy, gray and overcast, but for me it was perfect. It was a full moon, and I was feeling invincible.

May picked me up as soon as it was dark and together we drove up the mountain, following several other cars all headed to the same destination. As soon as May parked between two jacked-up trucks, she jumped out. “I’ll be right back,” she said.

I looked in the direction she was heading: Adam. I wanted her to come clean about liking him, but I doubted she ever would.

I moved toward a roaring fire, saying hi to several of my classmates on the way. Many of them had their faces painted and were talking about how we were going to take state. The mood in the air was one of excitement and elation. I took a deep breath and inhaled it all.

“Pretty crazy, huh?”

I turned around. Matt smiled big. His hair was disheveled, tucked beneath an oversized gray hoodie. Over it, he wore a heavy coat. Because of the full moon, I barely felt the cold.

I returned his smile. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Me neither. It’s not really my thing, but I remember a certain someone telling me how this was my last year and I should have fun, so I thought I’d check it out.”

“I’m glad you did.” I adjusted my beanie.

“I didn’t think you liked these things either,” he said.

“I thought I’d take my own advice.”

Matt looked down at me. “Aren’t you cold?”

“Surprisingly, no.”

“You are an odd one, Llona. Let’s go stand by the fire.”

It surprised me when he put his arm around my shoulders and guided me toward the roaring flames, which were taller than us both. I glanced up at him, but his expression was blank, and I knew he meant nothing by the gesture. I let out my breath and relaxed.

“Llona! Matt!” Tracey called. I noticed her eyes move to Matt’s arm. “What are you guys doing?”

“Just trying to get warm,” Matt said.

“There’s hot chocolate over there.” Tracey pointed to the other side of the fire. “And doughnuts.”

“That’s my cue. You guys want any?” I took the opportunity to leave Tracey and Matt alone.

“I’m good,” Matt said.

“Me too,” added Tracey.

I rounded the bonfire and was almost to the crowded hot chocolate table when I heard, “What are you doing here?” Christian stepped out from within the crowd.

“Trying to have a good time, and I’d like to keep it that way.” I patted his chest twice and walked away.

“Llona, wait!” He jogged after me.

I whirled around. “What do you want?”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why? Why can’t I be here?”

“Just trust me. You shouldn’t be here.” He took a step toward me, but I backed up.

“What’s wrong? You used to trust me.”

“That’s before you became all Jekyll and Hyde-y on me.”

His mouth dropped. “I have never been cruel to you.”

“What’s your definition of cruel?”

His eyes closed briefly and for a second it looked like he was in pain. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. That has never been my intention.”

“Then what is your intention?”

Christian sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I never intended to—”

“To what, Christian?”

He lifted his head and stared directly into my eyes. “To have feelings for you.”

This caught me off guard, but I didn’t let myself swoon. Too much had happened. “So you say you want me to be safe, but you don’t want to have feelings for me? Don’t the two go hand-in-hand?”

“They shouldn’t. Not for me at least.”

“Why?”

He glanced away. “It’s complicated.”

“No, rocket science is complicated. This shouldn’t be.”

He shrugged.

“When you decide to uncomplicate it, let me know. As for me leaving, it ain’t happening. Try and have some fun tonight. I know I will.” I turned around and practically pushed my way to the front of the hot chocolate line, but when I came face-to-face with Mr. Steele, who was serving the hot beverage, my anger quickly melted like an ice cube in a fire.

“You look full of energy tonight,” Mr. Steele said to me in his usual velvet, sophisticated voice.