Fractured Light (35 page)

“But I know someone who really wants to go with you.”

“You do?”

“Are you really that blind?”

“Huh?”

“I may be breaking a friend’s trust, but I think this situation warrants the breach.” I looked around conspiratorially. “Your secret admirer’s name starts with a ‘T’ and ends with ‘racey.’ ”

“Tracey,” he said a little too loudly. He lowered his voice. “Tracey? Really?”

“Absolutely. She’s liked you all year.”

“Huh. I would never have guessed.”

“Did you even try?”

“No. The last thing on my mind was a relationship with anyone.”

“You don’t have to have a relationship with her, but you could make her dreams come true.”

“If her dream is to be asked to prom, then I don’t want to go. I want someone with a little more ambition than that.”

I should have realized those were the wrong words to use. “I was exaggerating, Matt. It’s hardly a lifelong dream of hers. In fact, did you know she’s been accepted to Stanford? She wants to be a lawyer.”

“Really? I didn’t know that. I wonder why she never told me?”

“She’s not the type to brag.”

“Tracey.” He said her name quietly as if considering the possibility.

“Just think about it, okay?”

He nodded, staring off into space.

After school, a beaming Tracey found me at my locker.

“You’ll never guess what just happened.”

By her smile I knew exactly what had happened. “What?”

“Matt just asked me to prom.”

“That’s so wonderful.” I gave her a hug. “We should make it a triple date: me and Christian, you and Matt, and May and Adam.”

“Absolutely.”

*     *     *     *     *

Two weekends before prom, all of us girls decided to go dress shopping. When I found out the theme for prom was “Once upon a dream,” the image of a perfect dress came to mind. The problem was it was only in my imagination. It was a light blue, almost white, lacy dress with a hint of sparkles. It’s what I imagined a fairy to be wearing if I ever saw one.

By the third store I finally found a dress I thought I could modify. May and Tracey were surprised I picked it because it didn’t look that great, but I saw it’s potential. One of the lessons my mother had taught me was a person could find potential in anything—or anyone—if they were looking for it.

May had found a long, elegant red gown that made her look like Scarlett O’Hara, and Tracey had bought a green dress that flattered her eyes. We had an amazing time, laughing and sharing as only friends do. I knew our trip together would go down as one of my most memorable high school moments. Little did I know, however, that something much more memorable in the most horrific and devastating way would make remembering any good times in high school challenging.

O
N THE DAY OF PROM, ALL SIX OF US LOADED INTO
C
HRISTIAN’S
SUV and headed to the Paint Gun Exploratorium where we played paintball for hours. I had so much fun that I considered shooting guns as my next hobby. Christian quickly shot down my idea, no pun intended.

After paintball we ate a fancy lunch together at Christian’s house and played games. This proved valuable because it was then I discovered his Achilles’ heel. Christian stunk at games, specifically card games, and I was very happy to take advantage of this weakness.

When we finished messing around, Christian drove us girls back to my house. He waited for them to pile out before he stopped me. “I’ll be back in about an hour to pick you up,” he said.

“We can just meet at the dance like everyone else.”

“No. I’d feel better picking you up, if that’s okay.”

I nodded. “You know, I think I’m going to make it.”

“Make what?”

“The end of the school year. Not to be a rain cloud on this perfect day, but I kind of thought I’d end up dead.”

His eyes turned dark. “Don’t say that.”

“But things are better now and I don’t feel that way anymore. Maybe the Vyken knows I could kick its butt and it ran away scared.”

“I don’t think so.” He looked away, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I have a feeling it’s waiting.”

I wanted to disagree with him, to scold him for being a pessimist, but the truth was I’d been feeling the same way. “Everything is going to be fine. You’ll see.”

His eyes returned to mine. “I hope you’re right.”

“I hope my dress covers it,” Tracey said while looking down at her thigh. A bright purple paintball bruise the size of a baseball peeked out from beneath her shorts.

“It should. I don’t think the slit goes that high,” May told her.

“Do you want some ice on it?” I asked her. I felt pretty lucky ending up with only a couple of bruises. Poor Tracey had several.

“No, I can barely feel it.” She paused. “I hope the dance isn’t too lame. I want Matt to have fun.”

“He will,” I assured her as I pinned up her hair.

“Do you have any mousse, Llona? I forgot to bring mine,” May asked.

“I don’t, but Jake has some,” I said and left the room to get it.

“What do you use for your hair then?” May called after me.

“Nothing.”

“You will tonight,” Tracey called. May laughed, and I had to wonder what they were up to.

I didn’t have to wait long. Within twenty minutes my hair looked like a princess’s right out of a Disney movie, tiara and all. It looked incredible, but they’d used so much hair product that it felt like a brick was sitting on top of my head.

“Wow. Thanks guys. It looks really good. I just hope I don’t sprain my neck,” I said while turning my head back and forth.

“You’ll get used to it,” May said, fluffing her hair. We had put May’s hair in curlers. It made her look different, beautifully so. I couldn’t wait to see her in the dress she’d chosen.

“So I’ll see you guys in a couple of hours?” Tracey asked.

“Sure thing. Don’t be late.”

Tracey disappeared, followed shortly by May, who gave me a hug before she left.

I couldn’t have been happier. I had awesome friends, a great relationship with my uncle, and sort of a boyfriend—well, okay, I’m stretching the truth. Christian and I couldn’t have a relationship, but when he looked at me I knew there was something more.

I carefully pulled my silver-blue dress over my stiff hair and looked at myself in the mirror. The dress hung off my shoulders by an almost invisible strap. The material was so sheer it looked like a spider had spun a web all around me. The dress flowed outward from my waist mimicking a waterfall from a melting glacier.

In a matter of months I’d completely transformed myself. I wished Jake could be here to see me, but he wouldn’t be back for a couple of days. He and Heidi went to Park City on their first getaway alone. Jake had seemed nervous, and I wondered if maybe he was going to propose.

A knock at the door tore my gaze from the stranger in the mirror. Before I could get to the front door, Christian walked in and froze.

“You look—” He breathed a heavy sigh.

“I know, I know, my hair looks like the Matterhorn ride at Disneyland.”

He took a step toward me. “No, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I said. He really did look amazing dressed in a black tux and his hair slicked back. He reminded me of a movie star on Grammy night—except for the strange, almost painful expression. “What’s wrong?”

He moved one more step until he was standing right in front of me. “I thought this would be easier,” he said.

“Easier than what?” I asked.

“Than watching you from afar with someone else. I shouldn’t be your date.” His eyes met mine.

“What’s the big deal? We hang out all the time together and you’re always Mr. I-don’t-even-know-you’re-a-girl. Just keep playing that role. You’re good at it.”

“I’m tired of that role.”

“You’re the one that created it.”

“It’s the rules, Llona.”

“Right, the rules.” I placed my hand on his chest and gave him my most encouraging smile. “You can do this, Christian. I’m leaving in two weeks and then you’ll never have to see me again. You won’t have to be tortured anymore.”

He looked away. “I guess you’re right.”

I wanted to scream at him that, no, I wasn’t right. The thought of not seeing Christian again was enough to make me double over in pain, but he acted so cavalier about the whole thing that I forced myself to think of something else.

“Let’s have fun tonight,” I said. “It’s been such a perfect day. I don’t want anything or anyone to ruin it, okay?”

He nodded and smiled. “It has been perfect, hasn’t it?”

“The best. Now let’s go before I throw a beanie over my princess-do.”

*     *     *     *     *

Christian held my hand as he led me into the magically transformed high school gym. At least I think it was the gym. The walls had been covered in black material; bright lights peeked from holes like stars in the night sky. More lights covered the ceiling and in the corner of the room, a single bright light had been made to look like a full moon. Navy blue and white sheer material draped gracefully across parts of the gym and clusters of real pine trees were spread sporadically throughout. It was like walking through a setting of Shakespeare’s
A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

“And the award for the best prom decorations goes to Highland,” I breathed.

“Someone sure went all out,” Christian agreed. “This is a hundred times better than my last prom.”

I stopped. “You went to prom?”

“Yeah.”

I waited a few seconds before I said, as casually as possible, “Who’d you go with?”

Christian grinned. “Jealousy doesn’t become you.”

“I’m not jealous, just curious.”

“Right.” We stood in silence for a minute, looking around the gym, until I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“What did she look like?” I said. “Again, just curious.”

He laughed hard. When he finally stopped, he held his hand to my face. “You are the Taj Mahal and she was my grandfather’s shed. There is no comparison.”

This satisfied me, for the time being anyway. It wasn’t until just now that I realized how much I didn’t know about his past. He could’ve had lots of girls before me. I closed my eyes tight to get the image out of my mind.

“Let’s dance,” he said suddenly and pulled me onto the dance floor.

“Shouldn’t we wait for the others?” I asked.

“They’ll find us.”

The song playing was a fast pop song by a female singer I didn’t recognize, but that didn’t surprise me. This wasn’t my type of music, but it was much easier to dance to then my twisted, dark favorites.

When the song ended and another began, a much slower one, Christian didn’t ask, he just pulled me close to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. Together our bodies swayed as one to the beat of the music. I raised my head until our cheeks touched. His five o’clock shadow scraped against my skin, sending a pleasurable chill up my spine. A sigh slipped from my throat just as he tilted his head. His lips grazed my neck and his hands tightened on my back, pressing my body against his.

At this moment I knew exactly what he wanted, for it mirrored my own desires. We wanted to be together, without feeling guilty, without having to worry about the rules, without having to worry about the consequences. Whether we’d admit it or not, we were two teenagers in love.

My head lifted until our eyes met. He leaned his head toward mine and his lips parted just barely. I lifted on my toes to meet him halfway and closed my eyes.

“Hey guys!”

The words were like the sound of two trains crashing together, forcing Christian and I apart. We both opened our eyes and stared at each other. He gave me a weak smile. I didn’t return it.

Christian turned away from me, but kept his hand on my back. To Matt and Adam he said, “Where’s the girls?”

“Late, I guess,” Adam shrugged.

“You look great, Llona,” Matt said.