Fractured Soul (34 page)

“What time is it?” I asked, wincing from the pain of speaking. By how tight the skin felt on my face, I knew it must be swollen.

“Almost midnight.” She sounded exhausted.

“Where am I?”

May looked around. Her good eye was red and puffy, like she’d been crying. “One of the bedrooms. The nurse’s office is just around the corner. She’s attending to others right now.”

A lump formed in my throat. “How many were injured?”

“Several Guardians, a few Lizens, and, the last I heard, twelve girls. The ones who were in their rooms when the attack began.”

I hated asking the next question. “How many died?”

May paused. “Five Guardians, two Lizens, and three Auras, but six are missing. There wasn’t enough time to get to the girls who weren’t at the movie.”

I rolled onto my back and pulled the covers up to my chin. I was so cold. “How’s Liam? Kiera?” I said, but it came out a whisper.

“They’re both fine.”

I felt her place another blanket on top of me. “And Arik and Aaron? Dr. Han?”

“They’ll survive.”

“And Sophie?”

She swallowed hard. “Still missing.”

There was still one more person I needed to ask about, but I couldn’t bring myself to say his name.

May touched my shoulder lightly and said in a quiet voice, “We found him, Llona. I’m so sorry. He didn’t make it.”

I sucked in air, but my lungs wouldn’t expand fully. My breathing quickened, cold, short breaths, and the whole world began to spin. “May?” I gripped her arm tightly, looking for an anchor.

“I, I don’t know what to say,” she stuttered, and then she began to cry. Tears I didn’t know I had left joined hers. I stared at the ceiling, gasping for air.

“I don’t know how,” May said, “but we’ll get through this. You’ll get through this.”

I tried to nod, but I don’t think I did. How could I get through this?

A soft knock at the door made me wipe at my eyes. The door opened. Liam stuck his head in. “Can I come in for a minute?”

May sniffed and stood up. “Of course.” She looked at me. “I’m going to go get Tessa and Kiera. They wanted to know when you woke up.”

“Thanks, May,” I said.

As soon as she was gone, Liam moved to the side of my bed. His dark hair looked crusted and matted. By the red smear on his cheek, it was probably from blood. I also noticed he was limping. “You look terrible,” he said. “How do you feel?”

I didn’t answer him, but my chin quivered when I said, “Why didn’t you help him?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, then, “A choice had to be made.”

I exhaled. The air barely passed through my tight chest. “I don’t know how to get through this.”

Liam looped his finger through the chain on my neck. He pulled it out of the blankets and stared at the ring the chain held. “Christian gave this to you, didn’t he?”

I nodded.

“The symbols. Tell me what it means.”

My chin quivered. “Endure to the end.”

He let go of the necklace. “That’s how you’ll deal.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Sophie was missing, and Christian was gone. The blankets on top of me provided no warmth.

“You will. In time.”

I turned to him. “How can you be so sure?”

Liam crossed the room to the door and looked out its window into the hall. Finally, he turned around. His green eyes were glassy, like a stone at the bottom of a lake. “A long time ago, Vykens held me captive and made me watch as they killed my parents, my two younger sisters, and,” he swallowed and adjusted his jaw, “my wife. We’d only been married for three days. I know about loss, Llona. I know what it feels like to wish for the worse kind of torture over what you’re feeling now. But it gets better. Duller anyway, with time.”

My eyelids drooped, and my chest felt like it was collapsing within itself. “Why? Why so much sorrow?”

“I asked myself that same question every day for over a hundred years, and you know what I came up with?”

I shook my head and wiped at my eyes.

“Nothing. There’s no reason for it. Horrible, unexplainable things happen all the time.”

“How do people go on?”

He looked steadily into my eyes. “They find a purpose. Mine was helping others through the Deific. Doing what I could to make the world less miserable for everyone else.”

A knock on the door interrupted him.

When Liam opened the door, Tessa and Kiera rushed to the bed and hugged me. They looked good, no injuries. For that, I was grateful. May stood behind them, her lips tightened together.

“Are you okay?” Tessa asked.

“I will be,” I said, my eyes meeting Liam’s behind them. “I think.”

The door was still open, and Dr. Han came into the room. He closed the door.

“Where’s Sophie?” I asked right away. “Please tell me you know something.”

Dr. Han looked at Liam, and I noticed the girls had tensed. “What?” I said.

“The Deific is looking for her,” Liam said.

Dr. Han moved next to him. “I’ll admit they don’t have much to go on, but it’s still early. Every man available is helping. We’ll find her.”

“And Jackson? Cyrus?”

Liam bristled. “They got away, but we got a few of the other Guardians who had turned. They were the ones rounding up the girls left in the school.”

“I have to ask, Llona,” Dr. Han said. “What happened outside the school?”

I stared at the dirt beneath my fingernails. “Christian fought Cyrus. I didn’t see it though. Only saw Cyrus bury him.” I swallowed and nearly choked. “I tried to save him, but he was too far under. Then Jameson attacked me. I killed him.” If I had said this last week, I would’ve been thrilled, reveled in the fact, but I felt no joy now. Only sadness.

The room was quiet until Dr. Han crossed the room to my bed. “I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to get Sophie back and make sure Cyrus pays for his crimes, but, please, right now focus on getting better. How’s your leg?”

May touched my arm with her bandaged hand.

I looked at Dr. Han, shaking my head. “There’s so much more to worry about than my dumb leg. It will be fine, but who knows if Sophie or the other Auran girls will be.”

“Getting them back is our top priority,” he said. “And, starting immediately, things are going to change around here. The pills, for example. The Deific has already replaced them with a placebo. Within a month, the girls should be back to normal.”

“Why a placebo?” I said. “Just cut them off. Tell them everything that’s been going on. Tell them how they’ve all been fooled. Tell them their true potential!”

Dr. Han was shaking his head. “Change takes time. We have to ease them into this or no one will believe us. Remember, Llona, this has been the Auran way of life for decades.” He glanced back at Liam, then to me. “But I want your help to change it. I need someone who can help Auras find the strength they once had. I need you, Llona.”

“To do what?” I looked at the girls. Tessa and Kiera were both smiling, but May still looked sad.

“I want you to teach. This fall I’m going to introduce some new classes. One of them will be teaching Auras to fight. We won’t call it that, of course. We’ll have to be very subtle.”

“Even after what just happened? Aren’t the Auras, the Council, up in arms about this?”

“The Council is divided. An emergency meeting has been scheduled to decide how to proceed. With your help, I hope to change their way of thinking. Help them to see the power within them.”

May looked down at me. “What do you think, Llona? I know you’ll make a great teacher.”

“I’ll think about it.” The room fell quiet. I looked again at the dirt on my hands and under my nails. Something on my arm caught my eye, and I was surprised I hadn’t noticed sooner. A white cotton ball covered by a single piece of clear tape. “I was given blood,” I said.

“It was mine,” Kiera said quickly. “Vyken-free.”

“What about the rest of it?” I asked, feeling a little relieved. I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if I had been given more of their poison.

Liam said, “Most of it was taken, but some of what was left was used on injured girls.”

“You let them use it?”

“It happened before we knew what was going on,” Liam said.

“Was it poisoned?”

“I don’t know yet.”

I sunk into the bed. “Is there any good news?”

“What happened tonight could’ve been so much worse,” Liam said. “Sophie saved a bunch of lives by sending girls home. That is the good news.”

“But there’s still the other thing,” I said, looking back and forth at Liam and Dr. Han. “I saw it. The Shadow. It was there.”

Dr. Han tensed. “Are you sure?”

“There was no mistaking it. It came together from the shadows of the room and formed behind Cyrus.”

Dr. Han looked at Liam. “He’s in control of it. This is bad, Liam.”

“We’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

I forced a yawn, not wanting to think about anything else bad right now. I just wanted to sleep.

“Are you still tired?” May asked.

“Yeah, I think I’d like some time alone. Rest and stuff.”

“Sure. Of course,” Tessa said. “We’re going to go check with Abigail. See if we can help.” They left the room with Dr. Han.

Before Liam left too, he said, “The next several months, possibly years, are going to be very difficult for you. Just remember, though, that you’re never alone. You still have your uncle, your teachers, your friends. And me. We care about you.”

I nodded, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t force a smile. Just as Liam was about to close the door, I said, “Wait!” He looked back at me. “Will you stay? I want to sleep but don’t think I can do it alone.”

He nodded and closed the door. “Of course.”

My eyes opened. The room was bright; light spilled in between the slits in the blinds. It took only a second for me to remember everything. I swallowed hard, unsure how I was going to deal with today. “Liam?” My throat was dry, and my body ached, especially my leg, but at least I could move it now.

He moved into my line of sight. “I’m here.” He looked the same as last night. Blood caked his matted hair and on the side of his face, and his shirt was torn. He looked terrible. I was touched that he had stayed the entire time.

“Thanks for staying,” I said.

“It was nothing. How are you feeling?”

It took me a moment to answer. “Better.” While Liam spoke, I moved into a sitting position. “I thought of something else last night.”

“What’s that?”

“Dr. Han said Cyrus is controlling the Shadow. If that’s true, why did the Shadow, or really Cyrus, save Christian in the tower? Especially if he was only going to kill him later?”

Liam shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe he wanted you to have more time with Christian, to cause you more pain.” His voice sounded bitter.

I looked down at the bedspread, remembering Cyrus’s last words. I needed to get stronger, and fast. Before he could hurt me anymore. I thought of my friends. And Jake. “What next?” I asked.

“We hunt down everyone involved. The Deific has already begun. They’ve been questioning the captured Guardians all night.”

“What about the Shadow?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know anything yet, but we’ll deal with it. Whatever happens.”

I looked toward the window. “Will you take me to him?”

He knew exactly whom I was talking about. “They are shipping his body today, back to his father.”

“I’d like to say good-bye.”

“Of course.”

Twenty minutes later, Liam was wheeling me down the hallway and into the elevator. I kept my eyes straight, but I could hear others being attended to inside many of the rooms. As soon as the elevator doors closed, I said, “I could’ve walked.”

“The chair was available.” Liam didn’t say anything else until he wheeled me into a small room just off the main office on the first floor. I gasped when I saw a pine box sitting on top of a table. “Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

I shook my head, my eyes burning.

“I’ll be outside.” Liam closed the door.

I stood up and limped to the box. I imagined Christian inside, alive and well. His blue eyes, the color of a shimmering dragonfly’s wing, and the never-ending dimple in his cheek. Trailing my hand across it’s top, I said, “I’m sorry, Christian.”

Memories flooded my mind. I thought of the first time we met, when I’d fallen on the bleachers and he caught me. The times we trained together, laughing, sharing our deepest fears and regrets. I remembered how he taught me to use Light in ways other Auras wouldn’t dream of. I thought of our kisses, his letters, and finally his words of love and our future. It was too much. I rested my head on the box and cried.

I stayed like that for a long time. I knew the moment I left this small room I would never be near Christian again. This thought left a hole in my heart, one that would never heal. But I was a survivor. I stood and wiped at my eyes. I would endure to the end, as Christian would want, but I wasn’t going to just endure. I was going to live life, starting by taking control.

I came to Lucent with the desire to learn what I could and then get out. I never wanted to be a part of the Auras. Their way of life used to repulse me, but after all I’d learned, and I had learned a lot, I realized that they had been manipulated by someone they trusted. We were the same.

No. I wasn’t going anywhere. Lucent was my home, and I was an Aura.